 | **Not a Tuesday visit review but may still be of interest.**
After years of being curious about visiting a sauna I finally picked up the courage and set course for The Greenhouse in Luton for a visit on a non-themed weekday from about 1pm to 5pm - a complete bundle of nerves on the train journey up from London.
The Greenhouse, with its rather anonymous looking green front and discreet signage, is easy to find and only about a 5-10 minute walk from Luton train station. To my surprise, and despite my jittery state of mind, once I spotted it I walked right up to the door and determinedly slipped through in a flash.
Inside, as my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I discovered myself standing in a small vestibule decked out pretty nicely as a haunted house (it’s coming up to Halloween, after all). On the right there was a small barred window where Oli (?) appeared to ask if I had been before. As my answer was ‘no’ he informed me that the establishment was a gay sauna for members only, and asked me to write down my details (name, date of birth, postcode) on a sheet of paper to register as a new member. I also had to show my NHS COVID Pass. The first timer fee was £18 but it is apparently £17 thereafter. Oli then proceeded to give me a towel and numbered locker key and buzzed me through so I could enter the place proper. My imagined Aladdin’s cave of cock.
First you enter the small but relatively cozy bar/café area with a televised fireplace at floor level, 80s music videos on another TV (less said about the music piped around the venue the better), plenty of red/black pleather couches along the walls, a glass cabinet with cockrings for sale, snack/drink menus, and more seasonal spooky decor. Saloon doors then lead from here into the changing rooms.
Bearing in mind that I am a relatively new convert to the fun you can have with a naked man (men?), and of a purely oral/bisexual nature (anal puts me off), I was not sure whether I would be in over my head and overwhelmed, or feel at ease in the play areas. Only one way to find out, I thought, so I headed for my locker, got undressed, secured the towel around my waist and key around my ankle, and began my exploration of The Greenhouse.
On the ground floor I found showers, a large jacuzzi, and a dark room. Then on the first floor are the steam room, dry sauna, outdoor smoking area, rest area with sofas, computers, and TV (for porn or Countdown, your choice), and more showers. And finally on the second floor are private rooms (playing porn on a screen) and with ceiling mirrors, a larger group room, various more hardcore rooms (slings, crosses, odd looking chairs, et cetera), and six interconnected glory hole cabins. Peeping windows (some with two way mirrors) for watching the action beyond are also scattered around the floors. Overall the place is kept pretty clean and in a good state of repair. (I read somewhere that they have had a recent refurb.) There are also hand gel dispensers everywhere, which was nice.
The clientele during my visit were predominantly of the older, late 40s to late 60s, dadbod and grey hair variety (my preferred demographic), but with some younger guys in their 30s (and one petite 20s twink) arriving later in the afternoon. There were probably about 20 different guys throughout my four hour stint but I estimate only 8-10 at the same time. I was told it was a quiet day. The general atmosphere was respectful and I encountered no attitude, bad behaviour or unwanted attention from anyone. No one was fucking (at least in the non-private areas - while I was there but I saw some mutual sucking and wanking going on here and there.
At first I found the absence - for the most part - of smiles and chatting a bit strange, but I guess most guys are there for one thing only. I was also initially unsure about how to initiate contact beyond the odd furtive glance at the various manhoods on display. I needn’t have worried though, as within about 20 minutes of my arrival a middle-aged man (who later introduced himself as M) followed me into the steam room, slowly began wanking his sizeable cock next to me, and a moment later - when he caught one of my furtive glances - stood up in front of me to position his gorgeous erection closer to my face. What’s a guy to do other than start sucking, I ask? It would be rude not to.
M then suggested we move into the jacuzzi for some relaxed fondling and kissing, before taking me to a private room on the top floor. Once there he respectfully stayed within the realms of oral fun, but with plenty of kissing, 69, and body contact, and fed me two impressive loads from his rock hard cock that somehow seemed even larger with the light on. I am still amazed that I managed to deep throat it all! After this he gave me a quick tour of the place, with pit stops again in the steam room and jacuzzi - where I was, for the first time ever, treated to wanking two big cocks simultaneously when another gentleman briefly introduced his hefty hard-on to my hand. M then happily shot a third (!) load in my gob in the dark room. Parking restrictions sadly meant he had to leave thereafter, but we are arranging a repeat meet already.
I started wandering around the place without much of a plan and to my great surprise found myself very popular with the crowd (I’m not exactly a buff, muscled Adonis with a six pack and an nine inch cock) and had at one point two men fondling, kissing, and sucking me, as another looked on wanking and moaning quietly next to us. Perhaps I was just ‘new meat’? The older man sucking me almost immediately came all over my foot by accident, which we laughed about in the shower after. I imagined him to be an office accountant stuck in a sexless straight marriage and he seemed so happy with the experience. I’d like to think I brightened his day a little (his great cock and warm cum certainly brightened mine at least).
Things quietened down a bit after that and there was a noticeable change in the type of men, with more younger guys gradually appearing. I showered had a beer in the bar to catch my breath and gather my thoughts - a great big smile on my face. Then I got dressed, said my goodbyes, and headed back to London on the train, probably reeking of chlorine, crotch, and cum. I have a feeling I will return before long. After all, I chickened out of using the glory holes which is a longtime fantasy of mine that just has to become reality one day.
Some final thoughts:
- Bring footwear (like flip flops) - fluids make their way onto the floor all around and I don’t recommend walking around barefoot
- Exchange your towel when needed at the reception, it gets wet quickly
- Shower often (quick rinse) in between activities and sauna/jacuzzi - it’s the decent thing to do
- Be nice and polite but don’t be too shy - everyone is there for the same purpose
That’s it!
Hope this can be of some help to others interested in visiting a sauna but perhaps too apprehensive or fearful of what it will be like.
Date: 1 November 2021
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