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The Vanilla Alternative

Tempsford, South East

info@thevanillaalternative.co.uk,
http://thevanillaalternative.co.uk/

(Link to this club listing)

This is a sumptuous swingers club and hotel in Bedfordshire on the A1 not far from the Capital. The VA aim is to provide something exclusive, somewhere upmarket, somewhere that's a "bit of alright" for discerning adults to meet and play together! The very experienced VA management team have an insight into what is growing into a more open market and have worked very hard to find something that ticks all the boxes. From the private rural location, the licensed bar, the array of play areas, the enormous hot tub, the on site hotel rooms, the extensive dedicated car park right down to the warm smile, the personal care and attention you get from a team who know the lifestyle inside out! No membership fees till September 2011 whilst phase two of the quarter of a million pound refurbishment programme is completed. Phase one will be complete for the grand launch on Saturday 26th February. Please visit the website www.thevanillaalternative.co.uk for details of events and to register on the mailing list. Make your next party a VA party!

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Rating: Fun
We attended last night for our first time to V.A.

Lovely clean and inviting club with lots of places to play. The hot tub was just amazing..so much fun.

Bit quieter than expected for a Saturday but none the less we enjoyed our time and will be back from more.

Thanks guys xxx


Date: 18 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Another evening for us in the club. Although a little quieter due to being nearly payday, was still plenty going on. And the pizzas were a nice addition. As always the club is spotless and we made full use of the mirrored couples room. A good mix of ages to appeal to everyone’s taste, and clientele are always respectful. Can’t complain at all.

Date: 18 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
We attended the VA for a couple and singles ladies night and wow it was fantastic.

As our first time there we were shown around and given a free drink which is great for calming any nerves. This friendliness from the staff continued throughout the night!

The facilities within the club were great, now we know what they have we will definitely be making use of their more bdsm facilities. Tub was fantastic and clever glory hole which was not at all intimidating.

As for the other guests it was fantastic especially as a younger couple seeing lots of other young couples there. It was a fantastic hedonistic night.

The music was eclectic (but then cant please everyone) bar was fantastic too.

Only constructive criticism would be the hotelrooms onsite could perhaps do with a touch up but definitely stayed in more expensive places that weren’t that nice and of course the important thing being didn’t have to worry about taxi or driving or hotel in the early hours of the morning.

Overall loved it and worried nowhere else will compare now - Can’t wait to go back as soon as real life lets us! If you’re considering going just go well worth it.


Date: 11 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Had our first club experience at VA last night and it didn't disappoint, all the play areas were amazing, especially the hot tub room. We look forward to visiting again soon.

Date: 11 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
We took a 2 hour trip down to VA to meet a couple we had been talking to on fab !!! And it was so worth it there was sooo many hot fun people around!! Certainly got steamy in the play rooms .

We also started the night in one of the rooms upstairs which was so worth the money !

We would definitely return .. if we see you please say hi xx


Date: 11 August 2019

Rating: Fun
Really enjoyed our visit last night, wasn’t sure what to expect but it was a fabulous evening, jasmine had plenty of fun in all the rooms! Stayed over night which made it very easy at the end of the night. We will be back

Date: 10 August 2019

Rating: Fun
My first time at VA and was made to feel very welcome. Lovely place and very nice. Lots of room to socialise and ‘play’.

Stayed overnight, the room was nice and clean ... but a little dark for applying make up!

Would definately go again and look forward to my next visit, hopefully not before too long.

Thx to all xx


Date: 10 August 2019

Rating: Fun
Went Sat 3rd Aug all day n evening to the FOF. My third visit. I had an amazing time with friends old and new and treated quite a few to a free cock n pussy health check with my dear friend Doctor Sylvester!! And had a wonderful check myself with a delicious strap on! Keep up the good work. Brilliant fun thank you. If you remember me come n say hi x x

Date: 8 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Another fun filled Festival of Fun run by the hard-working Vanilla Alternative team. Such a beautiful clean club, with gorgeous grounds, it's always a highlight of my year to attend the festival.

I particularly enjoyed the new permanent seating area near the back of the club, where there were DJs playing under the stars and we were all dancing and having having a great time.

That foam party was also a highlight, and I loved that it was in the afternoon like last year as it was warm and I had time to change into something more sexy for the evening entertainment.

I can't even start to imagine the amount of hard work and planning it must take to put on anything like this. Thank you so much for providing it for us all and roll on next year.


Date: 8 August 2019

Rating: OK
We booked and attended the VA festival of fun last weekend. The amount we paid for two nights to attend the club and pay for camping was not great value given the facilities available, in the main two toilets for the amount of people attending was without doubt not sufficient. Also the tents were pushed together quite close and with a contained fire left unattended one evening was quite dangerous. The music on site either by the club or personal guests went on far to long, 4am so sufficient sleep to be able to enjoy the festival was impossible. We have been to this festival at least 4 times previously and this was by far the worst. That said we did ha e a good time due to the people we knew and met.

Date: 7 August 2019

Rating: OK
We have been to many festivals of fun, and have noticed over the years the prices have increased and entertainment less.. Bring back the days of the inflatable marquee and the burlesque dancers and pods for playing in, such a waste of space for one band or deflate for extra space for campers... As a camper for 3 years now I felt more unsafe than previous years, dreaded going out to the bar in the dark for drinks as there were no lights in the camping area and so many guide wires overlapping each other, it was so dangerous and unsafe a real trip hazard.

The closness of the tent also raised the issue of fire and the apparent absence of any fire fighting equipment should the worse happen

Shame the club doesn’t open Friday and Saturday daytime for a private Lap dancing club, obviously at extra price per couple..

And please more toilets and showers, in this lifestyle it’s important to have good cleanliness.

I do appreciate the club tries to get people away from their tents and into the club area and this can be a difficult task, so maybe bring the party to the tents.

We are all arm chair experts at running a club, but please take this as constructive criticism as we wish the Fof to be nothing more than a huge success.



Date: 5 August 2019

Rating: OK
(posted on the VA F of F forum post too)

Have attended F of F for the last 4 years and it is a great club, and certainly one of our favourites in the UK, but we did have some concerns/reservations about this year's festival which we hope will be taken as constructive criticism. None of these concerns have arisen in our previous attendances there.

The positives.........the club (as previously mentioned), the live music, the foam party, hot tubs and above all else the other guests.

What we were less happy about this year..........

1. On arrival with our friends (in a separate and similar small tent which was set up near to us) we put up a shared small gazebo. It was just large enough to cover seating and a table for the 4 of us and measured just over 2.5m square. We were approached by a member of staff and told that we had not pre-booked a gazebo so it had to be taken down. We pointed out that the gazebo was no bigger than the seating area for 4 people. He agreed that the seating area was a modest size for 4 (and our tents were much smaller than many there) but that according to rules it could not be covered.

We didn't think this was logical or reasonable but dismantled it anyway.

2. Toilets/showers - Maybe 150 people there as a conservative estimate perhaps? In previous years we've had the use of the 2 showers inside the club adjacent to the jacuzzi. Not so this year. The door was locked so just 2 indoor and 2 outdoor showers. Maybe not too important as we took the attitude that we would just wait and get one later in the day.

More importantly the door to access the inside male / female toilets inside the club (through the BDSM area) was locked at times through the weekend leaving just the 2 toilets to cope with demand from 150+ guests. It's ok to wait for a shower but often the need to go to the toilet is rather more urgent & this isn't really good enough when you've paid £170 for the weekend.

3. Noise - We understand the need for entertainment as an important part of what you pay for but blasting out over the campsite till 4am in the morning surely isn't catering for the majority? It was particularly an issue on the Saturday night when we had a 4 hour drive back home and needed to leave as early as possible on Sunday morning. One of our friends on both nights went to sleep in her car in the car park for some peace. Surely a 1am or even 2am limit isn't unreasonable? Swingfields have a midnight curfew on noise and organise a silent disco for party goers that want to party into the night.

4. Safety - As a fire officer of 27 years experience I did express a concern about cramming the tents/caravans/motorhomes so close together (to the same staff member who was unsympathetic about our joint gazebo). He was completely unmoved by my professional concerns.

Whilst we can appreciate that profits have to be maximised at these weekends, perhaps there are other considerations to take into account?

Recommended UK Gov guidelines concerning Fire Safety on campsites and published by the Ministry of Housing, Communities & Local Government

in 2008 (updated 2015) points out that

“A fire can destroy a tent in less than 60 seconds”

“On average 360 fires per year occur in caravans”

and recommends that

`'caravans and tents are at least 6 metres apart and away from parked cars to reduce the risk of fire spreading"

Many tents at VA this year were no more than 12 inches apart.

Apart from the obvious problem of not being able to move freely between them (or escape easily?) due to guy lines, if a fire happened in one it would very easily and quickly spread to a adjacent one and there's not many tents that don't have gas cylinders within or vehicles that don't have fuel in.

If you accept the fact that fire can destroy a tent within 60 seconds, and the possibility that alcohol is to be factored into the equation, the risks perhaps outweigh the considerations for maximising profits by fitting in as many persons as possible into the available area?

Fire recommendations also state that the maximum distance between a fire point and a tent should be 30m and that fire points should be easily accessible and conspicuously marked ''FIRE POINT''.

There were none.

There were also personal BBQ's that were left unattended and with burning embers into the early hours of the morning. Not too difficult to imagine a scenario where a breeze would spread sparks into a nearby tent/motorhome/caravan perhaps?

We hope the event continues and wish VA every success but we don't feel comfortable or safe attending next year.


Date: 5 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Just got back from va festival of fun had a brilliant time definitely coming back next year.meet some great new friends feel free to message us if we spoke to us

Date: 4 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Another great night on Friday 2nd August at VA. So relaxed and a really busy night. We so love this club. No locked rooms, all the fun out of display to be watched or to watch. If your the guy we had a t 3sum with please leave some feedback on our page. We will do likewise.

Date: 4 August 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Visited as a solo trans woman on a couples/women only night on 27th July and was made to feel so welcome by staff and swingers alike. I love how the first half of the evening is people just chilling at the bar looking sexy in their outfits then the last three hours are just sexual abandon in the wonderful pool and play areas.

Date: 29 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Well what can I say!! Once I found the place my night did not disappoint!! I attended the Frisky Friday event on the 26th for my first VA visit and had a truly fabulous time! Great hosts (Brian kept his eye on everyone whilst chatting and being a true gent!); a fabulously clean and elegant venue with tasteful decor, great facilities, a jacuzzi I want at home (with the hot horny fun that went on!), lots of space and a very good mix of people including some stunning couples and even more stunning single guys! An absolute must and one I hope to return to often!

Date: 28 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Previous visited this gem of a venue a coupe of times for twisted and fell in love with the place, proper night club atmosphere.

From the moment you walk up to the entrance you will be treat with respect and kindness by all the lovely staff who go over and beyond their call if duty to ensure you have a memorable experience. The place has rooms to cater for all tie desires and requirements from the most desirable dungeon Romi to the play rooms all of which are decadently furnished.

When the parting has you worn out you can relax in the most inviting hot tub always a place to be full of happy party people, all their facilities are clean well and well maintained. The bar is properly licensed well stocked with a good selection of beverages overlook my most enjoyable part of the club. The dance floor and pole. Had so much fun gyrating around it and even learnt a new move from some of the lovely ladies in attendance “ bruised legs though “, think they called it pole kiss lol.

Thank you team for such a delightful night and the delicious food looking forward to attending again soon


Date: 27 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
We attended on friday 26th July, it was our first time staying overnight. As always VA is impeccably clean, the clientele was brilliant and the night totally lived up its usual exceptionally high standards. The over night room, was very pleasant and definitely in keeping with the quality of the club.

Date: 27 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Visited for the first time on Saturday 20th July and all we can say is amazing. The place is spotless and a great atmosphere. Loved the welcome we received and the drinks are reasonably priced too. We very much look forward to visiting again in the near future

Date: 23 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
We had another amazing night on Saturday at Freedom party.

These guys are organizing the best parties and the venue is amazing. This time we were lucky to book a room for the rest of the night and the room was much better than hotel rooms close to the club.

For sure will be back for the next event.



Date: 22 July 2019

Rating: Fun
Been to the VA the last 2 Saturdays, on our first visit we were made to feel very welcome, were shown around and put at ease immediately, we had lots of naughty fun, especially in the hot tub.

However the music was so bad! If nothing else it was a conversation starter..... and we had a bit of a rude awakening when the lights went on full power, right in the middle of our fun, perhaps a time warning would have been a good idea, as it can be hard to track the time in there.

Our second visit was during the freedom UV party, so much fun, great hosts, the music was so much better and again, lots of naughty fun.

We’ll defo be back, maybe looking at coming to the next Bi night.

Definable a clean and friendly vibe x


Date: 22 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Went to VA on Saturday 20th July. It was our first visit to the club and met our friends there who have been many times over the years. It is a fabulous club very friendly, the staff made us feel very welcome and the atmosphere and music was great. The huge hot tub, what can we say it was wonderful mingling with all those lovely naked couples. Can’t wait to return with friends who haven’t been yet. VA YOU ARE FABULOUS.

Date: 22 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Another excellent night at VA with old friends and new. Fabulous glow party provided by Freedom parties including bands, tape and paints.

Great hosts and loads of fun!


Date: 21 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Our 2nd trip which quite a trek for us, and it's right up there in terms of quality. The large hot tub is very popular and lots of sexy people in attendance.

This was a glow party which did outshine (pun intended) LB's efforts last month, which is who VA compete with rather than less salubrious clubs. Lovely hosts too!


Date: 21 July 2019

Rating: OK
Bloody great night, great hosts...

A+


Date: 20 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Love love loved the Freedom event Glow Party. Made some wonderful sexy new friends and caught up with some current ones too.

Jess n James hosted a fabulous glow party, great music,sexy dancing, glow paint/sticks n hoops. Hoopla was great fun. Of course lots of horny fun too.

If you haven't been to one of these events you're definitely missing out, a fun night for all.


Date: 20 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Amazing night with lots of relaxed and sexy people in attendance.

Friendly staff and a very good mix of people with lots of naughty fun thrown in.

Will be back soon!


Date: 14 July 2019

Rating: Fun
Visited for our first time on Friday 12th - spacious and well maintained club, lots of different public play areas and the female glory hole was brilliant! Loved the hot tub area, the best we’ve had the pleasure of enjoying in a club! We stayed on site and loved being able to just head upstairs at the end of the night. Will definitely come back when we are down that way again!

Date: 13 July 2019

Rating: Fabulous
Attended VA for the first time last night, wow, what a great club, very clean and friendly place. The staff were very helpful and made the evening fun. There was a sexy crowd in attendance who were up for a good time. So we will definitely be returning soon.. VandN. xx

Date: 7 July 2019

Rating: OK
Good atmosphere at this Wednesday MILF CLUB , all play areas where full of people having fun at some point , few new faces around , good to see old friends ??

Date: 27 June 2019

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