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Hard to mingle in club environments?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been to a couple of club nights where single men were allowed. On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above.
We've also been to clubs where there have been groups and we've just joined in, saying hello. It might be worth saying you don't mean to be rude and you're there by yourself, could you join them for a chat. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We've been to a couple of club nights where single men were allowed. On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above.
We've also been to clubs where there have been groups and we've just joined in, saying hello. It might be worth saying you don't mean to be rude and you're there by yourself, could you join them for a chat."
That sounds like a polite way of doing things  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At my local club single men mingle at the bar and chat to folk when they go up for drinks."
Yeah most of the conversations I've had have occurred at the bar  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel sorry for single men at clubs, I often look for the shy singletons sitting on the corner.
I go in all dolled up and I get LOADS of attention, must be the dresses x
"
I've had some amazing conversations when i finally become part of the group but sometimes it's hard |
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By *arah_11TV/TS
over a year ago
Yeadon/Leeds |
"Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips? "
I agree, it's much harder as a single pringle! I'm actually rather shy which doesn't help! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips?
I agree, it's much harder as a single pringle! I'm actually rather shy which doesn't help! "
I'll speak to anyone, its just the feeling awkward or rude to start the conversation |
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By *art123Man
over a year ago
Stoke |
This is a great thread and I’m sure lots of decent single guys are probably put off clubs for this kind of feeling.
It’s not too dissimilar to going the pub alone.. I find getting to know the bar staff and generally saying hello etc will soon get you in and chatting with groups of people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find most clubs have areas that are more social than others,,,lurking round play rooms isnt going to get you mingling but the bar areas also the smoking areas are great social areas of clubs, also some clubs have lounges or jacuzzis which are good places to chat and get to know folks...and having been as a single guy as well as part of a couple can confirm that. Just say hi and introduce yourself most folks will chat if your polite and friendly even if they dont fancy you as a play mate.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We find most clubs have areas that are more social than others,,,lurking round play rooms isnt going to get you mingling but the bar areas also the smoking areas are great social areas of clubs, also some clubs have lounges or jacuzzis which are good places to chat and get to know folks...and having been as a single guy as well as part of a couple can confirm that. Just say hi and introduce yourself most folks will chat if your polite and friendly even if they dont fancy you as a play mate.."
Lurking around playrooms is a big no from me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You sound decent enough. Clubs won't be open for a while yet, but can't imagine you'll have any issues. I suppose the more you go the more you get used to it. Give it time! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You sound decent enough. Clubs won't be open for a while yet, but can't imagine you'll have any issues. I suppose the more you go the more you get used to it. Give it time! "
Yeah like I say I've had some really good chats and made some amazing friends but some nights are harder than others |
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By *arah_11TV/TS
over a year ago
Yeadon/Leeds |
"We find most clubs have areas that are more social than others,,,lurking round play rooms isnt going to get you mingling but the bar areas also the smoking areas are great social areas of clubs, also some clubs have lounges or jacuzzis which are good places to chat and get to know folks...and having been as a single guy as well as part of a couple can confirm that. Just say hi and introduce yourself most folks will chat if your polite and friendly even if they dont fancy you as a play mate.."
This definitely true, everyone is really friendly!
I can't wait to get back to quest   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above."
Agree. If it's one thing that winds the fella up its this, every time we go on a single guy night this happens without fail, they've then no chance.
Single guys need to realise that getting on with the Male half of the couple is somewhat more important than the female, if the fella doesn't agree nothing will ever happen |
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By *educerMan
over a year ago
Brentwood |
" On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above.
Agree. If it's one thing that winds the fella up its this, every time we go on a single guy night this happens without fail, they've then no chance.
Single guys need to realise that getting on with the Male half of the couple is somewhat more important than the female, if the fella doesn't agree nothing will ever happen "
Totally agree, find it embarrassing when I see it happening  |
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"Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips? "
At most club nights you'll find only about a quarter of the people are in groups, some just in small groups. Lots of people go walkabouts throughout the club, that's a good time to chat. Icebreakers could be "Hello how are you, are you having a good night?", "You look nice, have you been here before?". Most people will be happy to have a chat, what's the worst that could happen? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips? At most club nights you'll find only about a quarter of the people are in groups, some just in small groups. Lots of people go walkabouts throughout the club, that's a good time to chat. Icebreakers could be "Hello how are you, are you having a good night?", "You look nice, have you been here before?". Most people will be happy to have a chat, what's the worst that could happen? "
Great point x |
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Hang at the bar or in the smokers area (even if a non smoker), smile and you will soon get chatting!
Don’t be afraid about opening with someone mundane, this often is an easy way to start a decent conversation.
Again be smiley and make loads of eye contact. |
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Oh - also make it known on the club night forum thread that you are attending, make some contacts before you get there, let people know that you maybe a little nervous, the host if they are any good should give you a walk around and introduce you to some regulars. |
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All fantastic tips on here ... also I’d add that you should try to pick your event carefully too, find one that suits you rather than just going along without knowing what’s on.
The wrong event can be really hard to settle into! Choosing the right event is as important as choosing the right club! x |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
What everyone else has said, plus: talk to the groups! A group conversation is rarely private, and I've found that another person is usually welcome, if they have something to contribute. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
as most people have said... sometime you just have to bite the bullet and talk to people, whether its at the bar, or in the smoking area.....
"may i join you?" aren't the hardest words to say in a social atmosphere, if you cant say it then, then how are you going to ask to play with people....
most people in clubs are very socialable people to nothing lost by asking to join people...just don't end up following groups around  |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"We've been to a couple of club nights where single men were allowed. On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above.
We've also been to clubs where there have been groups and we've just joined in, saying hello. It might be worth saying you don't mean to be rude and you're there by yourself, could you join them for a chat."
When I go to clubs with a woman friend it's a game we play to guess how many single men are going to approach her when I go to the toilets. |
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By *u4rFunMan
over a year ago
wigan |
When going to a club ( not many ) . Iv always enjoyed myself just talking with fellow clubers and chilling in the club facility’s. If you try talk too or follow a lady who’s accompanied with her husband or bf your on a looser straight away . Just chill and mingle and if your lucky then it’s a bonus . |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Totnes |
"We've been to a couple of club nights where single men were allowed. On both occasions the guys would only come over when Mr Adventure went to the toilet, which I found rude. So tip one would be if you're approaching a couple, don't do the above.
We've also been to clubs where there have been groups and we've just joined in, saying hello. It might be worth saying you don't mean to be rude and you're there by yourself, could you join them for a chat.
When I go to clubs with a woman friend it's a game we play to guess how many single men are going to approach her when I go to the toilets."
When I go to a club with a lady friend and if I go to the bar etc and come back it's interesting how many couples talk to her and ignore me .. |
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Think a lot of peeps are guilty of not making the first move (including us). We are always happy for people to talk to us whether together or when separated.
Everyone is looking for a connection of some sort.
Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes when I visit clubs it can be hard to approach people, mainly because they're in a group more often than not. I'm not shy but I feel rude
Any tips? "
Myself personally tend to look for relaxed/in the background people as opposed to overly forward people unless I know them.
I find a little chat drink and dance in a private room brings out the best in the quiet ones and mutual fun follows naturally.
Don't overthink it just relax be yourself observe and they will come to you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be polite and talk to people. They won't bite unless you're into that sort of thing lol. Just don't become one of the Wanking Dead zombies that follow women and couples around. |
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"All fantastic tips on here ... also I’d add that you should try to pick your event carefully too, find one that suits you rather than just going along without knowing what’s on.
The wrong event can be really hard to settle into! Choosing the right event is as important as choosing the right club! x"
This is the best, and most important tip! It’s very difficult to make conversation in a club full of nobody interested in single guys! Look for events when single guys are actively wanted |
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