FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Do you need to have sex in a club??

Do you need to have sex in a club??

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

So, why now are we getting all the end of club postings? Do these people just go to the clubs for sex? Do they not hook up with old friends to chat the evenings away? Share a drink or two, share memories, make plans. Have a dance, make it a sexy one, without indulging, a good old tease?

We have a massive list of friends, people we chat with daily on whats app groups, FB, and other media outlets, and all are keen to get together again as soon as we're allowed, but not one is mentioning sex at all.

A swingers club is full of people who are "interested" in the possibility of having sex with others. It is not full of people who "are" having sex with others. A snooker club is full of people who enjoy snooker, but many of them will be standing at the bar chatting and socialising all night.

Is it impossible for you all to go to a swingers club and not have sex? If so, then fine, we need to cut our door numbers by 70% for a bit, but the other 30% of you who enjoy the lifestyle for the social side just as much, and are comfortable keeping your sex to the home bedroom, would be welcome if we could get permission to open on that basis. ie as a Pub/club, when safe to do so.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

I've just found a club rules sign, from 19 years ago. Rule 7, no sex allowed inside this club. Genuinely, had to be said to stop the club being classed as a brothel and closed down! But at least they all got to chat to friends....and plan a fun future.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I enjoy being part of the lifestyle, and being around like minded people. I would still attend clubs if it was not allowed on the premises.

It's about a lot more than that for me so whether it would be preferable for sexual intimacy to be ok, I would still attend if not.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *occerstar579Man over a year ago

harrogate

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

Totally agree...and clubs can come up with other events evenings. Plenty of people who enjoy taking pictures or being photographed in erotic poses. As long as it was advertised as a photo shoot evening then may actually get more people in. Shared hobbies etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple over a year ago

Northumberland

We've only been to a club once, just before lockdown. We didn't play but had a great night catching up with people we knew and making new friends. Just being with like-minded people and having a bit of a flirt. We prefer one to one meets for sex but definitely enjoyed the atmosphere in the club so for us we would attend. For us though we really enjoy the social side too, it's not just about the sex there and then x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i like the no phone rule. i like to do karaoke and its better knowing no one is recording

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

I’ve attended clubs for Social only and enjoyed an evening just doing that. Clubs are not just about sex.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *occerstar579Man over a year ago

harrogate

"i like the no phone rule. i like to do karaoke and its better knowing no one is recording

Again another theme nite that doesn't have to involve sex. Plenty of options.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yx_InannaWoman over a year ago

Burslem

I've enjoyed the club scene for 3 years I've not had sex of any kind in a club since may/june 2018. I go for the atmosphere, enjoying the facilities and chatting with like-minded people.

As well as dancing in lingerie and just having a great time.

Swingers clubs for me isn't about sex being a goal but finding people I can enjoy time with and eventually sex with. I'm not averse to having sex in a club but I enjoy it with someone who thinks my pleasure is important too. One day with trusted playmates who enjoy clubs too il consider having sex in a club again but first and foremost for me it's about enjoying the clubs as a whole not a goal.

I love clubs that are accepting of everyone regardless of gender, sexuality, race, size and social status etc. Clubs should be about a healthy respect for everyone. If a club promotes respect and inclusivity for all the patrons, you'll find your patrons more respecting and inclusive of others too.

I miss my favourite clubs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I really wanted to go to a club this year. It was on my bucket list

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Numerous times we’ve visited Xtasia (And many other clubs) and not had sex. We enjoy the social side and have often said it’s not just about the sex.

Keep up the good work, we can’t wait to see you all agin! Xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *forfuntimesCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

We have been going to clubs since 2006 (in fact Xtasia was our first and we were probably in most weekends for over a year in our early days).

We have since visited at least 25 different clubs over the years - in UK, Central Europe & the USA and we still love the clubs for a night out.

We have always gone with the mindset that we , as a couple, will have a great night by ourselves, be that just enjoying a drink, music and our own company. However, as Mrs2forfun can talk for England, then we usually always end up having a chat and a laugh with someone - does that always lead to sex - definitely not and nor should it be assumed - but we always end up having a great night either way.

It is our preferred way to socialise - Mrs2forfun sums it up quite often to many people we chat to as below;

'where can she go, dressed in sexy lingerie / dresses etc - have a great time being with/around likeminded individuals without being judged / ridiculed etc for wanting to feel sexy irrelevant of age/looks etc' - even with most dress down clubs the girls still wear lingerie etc.

Don't get us wrong - we still enjoy our local bars & restaurants in the village for our 'vanilla' nights out - but we like to mix & match...

So, yes - if clubs were to open with a 'no sex' policy than we would still visit for a social evening....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *s_bettyboopWoman over a year ago

-3

I would still go and have done without playing. I like meeting people and flirting,sexy chat.The dressing up and buying new outfits showing off my outfits is one of my favourite things. The sex is and a bonus and I can wait.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i like the no phone rule. i like to do karaoke and its better knowing no one is recording

There's an idea for Xtasia.

Bring the Karaoke into the main club so more people can attend but still have space for social distancing? We would love that.

Cannot wait until the club is open again just to be able to socialise!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *-and-LCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

We go to our local club almost every weekend and we'll probably only play 2 or 3 times over the course of a year. For us it's far more about the social side and the friends we've made through this lifestyle. To be in a place with like-minded people, to be able to dress as sexy as we please and to just have a good time in a relaxed atmosphere. We don't care much for pubs as they tend to have a lot of loud, obnoxious, d*unken people. Not saying this doesn't ever happen at a club but it's thankfully much, much rarer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eordiesCouple over a year ago

newcastle

Agreeing with most replies so far in so much as when we go to clubs we go because we can meet people on the same wavelength.

If we have sex with them depends on a lot of other factors.

But the question from Xtasia "Would you go to a swingers club if sex was off the menu?"

In America there are two types of sex club;

1, on premises sex club, which means you can meet people there AND have sex with them in that place.

2, off premises sex club, where you go to meet people, chat to them, flirt with them, but if you want to have sex with them you find a hotel or take them home or whatever. But no sex is allowed in the actual club.

So yeah, Xtasia could become an off premises sex club.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring."

How is the HIV comparison even slightly Valid or appropriate?

It’s was a terrifying time for the LGBT community. I like many had lived by the fact ‘you can’t get pregnant’ and overnight most of a community realised they could have been exposed. In the main we all went through the terrifying process of getting tested, we all adopted the way of the condom and the majority of us adopted a life long habit of regular testing.

It’s also wise to not simplify the UK’s villages as our place of sex. They where and still are our community. They where in that age mine and others place of safety, an escape from the ‘queer bashers’, a place to avoid the police who delighted in catching any minor under the age of 21 and ruining their life. Remember this was an age without Grindr, the web and widespread mobile phones, it was how we met and kept in touch.

If you want the blunt reality 30 years later we still have no cure for HIV, the changes it brought to our way of life all remain in place in ours and straight society. Regardless of the fact it’s less than a 1 in 1000 chance of someone we meet having the virus we in general don’t take the chance.

Covid-19 however isn’t a STD though, it’s an airborne virus. As a club you are unfortunately just the perfect storm for infection. In effect if you want to do the HIV comparison your establishment to Covid 19 is what unprotected sex was to HIV. Take a look at the gay night club in South Korea this week, one guy in a busy dance bar has already accounted for 120+ confirmed infections, that’s the reality you are dealing with.

The suggestion of becoming a social place I think is valid, knowing most clubs layouts the obvious points are to make them safe they’d need to be opened up as spaces when guidelines for ‘hospitality’ venues comes into play in order to comply. Most I know would need to take down the partition walls and the playrooms.

I do sincerely wish you all the very best, I hope as with the LGBT community and HIV you embrace the ethic of adapt and overcome. I also hope like us back then the swinging community realises your importance within the scene and supports the changes you in the changes you’ll need to make.

Charli x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"i like the no phone rule. i like to do karaoke and its better knowing no one is recording

I have been to karaoke nights at a lifestyle club (Jaycees) and they have been fantastic.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

How is the HIV comparison even slightly Valid or appropriate?

Charli x"

I agree with you totally....the point I was trying to make you summed up nicely for me with this line: They where and still are our community.

I'd like to think that most genuine swingers see the clubs as their community.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *edditchCouple8077Couple over a year ago

Redditch

Great idea,defo will attend and have fun with all this rules

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

How is the HIV comparison even slightly Valid or appropriate?

Charli x

I agree with you totally....the point I was trying to make you summed up nicely for me with this line: They where and still are our community.

I'd like to think that most genuine swingers see the clubs as their community.

Absolutely, I think it’s a horrible time for you guys and we’d do well to remember the role you play for those finding away into the scene, allowing us to meet others and the environment of safety you provide.

You are just another hairdressing Salon, Nightclub, Airline or whatever... through sheer bad luck you guys fall right at the back of the list of environments we can use currently.

We need all these things in society in some form though, it’s just figuring out what new forms they take.

Honestly, I wish you guys all the very best for the coming month x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

its better when everyone gets up and involved ahah. you can make a fool of your self and still have a great night

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As everyone else has said club are about socialising, liberation and community as well as facilities sauna, jacuzzi, access to sexual health services to name a few.

I would like the option to play in a club if I so chose but going to a club where you cant play wouldnt be a problem either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have yet to have any kind of sexual contact in a club. We are not ready for that at the moment. We go for the social aspect and because it’s a safe non judgmental environment for Abby. We are surrounded by like minded others and always make new friends.

Miss V

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *OXO2018Couple over a year ago

Norfolk

We personally go to play.

Clubs are our only option to meet people and have been lucky enough to meet like minded people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittleMissCaliWoman over a year ago

trouble most likely, or creating it :)

I never go with any plans with the exception of if I've organized a gangbang....

Mostly I go to clubs to chill and chat to friends.

OP I've been to your club a few times and I've only played once there.. the rest of the times it was purely social.

Party nights at clubs I always tend to go for a social

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *occerstar579Man over a year ago

harrogate

"I never go with any plans with the exception of if I've organized a gangbang....

Mostly I go to clubs to chill and chat to friends.

OP I've been to your club a few times and I've only played once there.. the rest of the times it was purely social.

Party nights at clubs I always tend to go for a social "

Plenty of gang bangs needed post lock down lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love this post, and knowing what we are about and how we are as a couple, and the socialising we do at your lovely club often (pre lockdown and post lockdown too).....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nnnikCouple over a year ago

Walsall

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

"
the club becomes a pub.. Nik

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

the club becomes a pub.. Nik"
Not at all.....but gets classed as one. Naughty chat, flashing, tease dancing, etc if you can do all that in your local, I need to visit!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I think clubs will be great in future, with promotion of their social side. Places to get to know other people who may share a more liberated outlook on life. Where people perceive less pressure for sex, they may be able to relax and engage more widely.

There's perhaps a swingers equivalent of a working men's club, as they were termed. They have a huge potential market, as most people here don't use clubs. The current fee policy for many would deter many from visiting for an equivalent to a pub though. Smarter club flexibility in this could possibly get them through a transitional period, where fewer may be up for taking things as they were.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nnnikCouple over a year ago

Walsall

When I started swinging back in the 80s,it was about good old sex. Now it's like drama dates wanting friends?? My opinion is some things should remain separate... Nik

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fantastic idea!! We will definitely be attending!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think it's a great idea till things sort themselves out, we love the social side.

Bit of entertainment maybe even fancy dress evening to spice things up. Somewhere you can go and dress up a bit more sexy, count us in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I have attended lots of clubs ....and in each .. sometimes I've played other times I've socialised, mainly the latter. You can dress up, dress down, be comfortable in your own skin, have a laugh, a drink, a perv and a flirt.

I'm quite happy to attend a club watch and be watched xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *jl1972Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

I have had some great nights at my local club (Temptations) and many of them haven't involved sex at all. As I rarely drink alcohol it's nice to be able to go somewhere I can relax, take advantage of the facilities and speak to regulars. If anything else happens it's a bonus but not essential.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’m deffo more of a social swinger. I’d still go support them if they couldn’t open the play rooms for a year or two.

I just like naked wines!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Do we "need" to have sex in a club? NO.

Do we "like" to have sex in a club? YES.

Our swinger life is almost exclusively in clubs and sex is the main (but not only) reason we go.

We have had some very wild sex in clubs but we've also had plenty of nights when it is just social.

I'm pretty sure that when the clubs open again our first few outings will be much more social than sex.

However should the sex totally disappear from clubs I really don't see any point in them staying open.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Do we "need" to have sex in a club? NO.

Do we "like" to have sex in a club? YES.

Our swinger life is almost exclusively in clubs and sex is the main (but not only) reason we go.

We have had some very wild sex in clubs but we've also had plenty of nights when it is just social.

I'm pretty sure that when the clubs open again our first few outings will be much more social than sex.

However should the sex totally disappear from clubs I really don't see any point in them staying open. "

Kind of agree with you but also feel there's a middle line somewhere. A very naughty pub or club where you can get away with lots more than you'd be allowed to at a Weatherspoons, but doesn't need to have an orgy or gangbang going in the middle of the room. At least for the short term with all the obstacles infront of us.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing. "

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

I get what you are suggesting and if that was the starting point and all the club ever was going to be then that might work. But when your Clientele are dressed to play and Chating about how it was in the old days won't necessarily lead to a positive vibe hence the frustration.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

Yep, understand, but trying to find gentle ways out of this....and chatting about how it was, would give us something to look forward to! Always the optimists.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't...."

Our kind of single, lol.

Remember numbers will need to be kept well down as social distancing will be such an issue, so if people don't get it, they don't come along.....pretty simple solution to that one.

We've calculated our normal dance floor/bar area can hold 300 ish on a busy party night, with social distancing its probably limited to 60. If thats the case, we'd like to ensure the 60 are happy with it being a non play environment, and leave those looking for serious sex play to make up their own solution.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

Yep, understand, but trying to find gentle ways out of this....and chatting about how it was, would give us something to look forward to! Always the optimists.

I get that and it's a complete mess. I've been accused of being negative about the future of clubs which isn't the case I'm a realist and I don't see any easy way out for clubs in any sector of society. I can't see how you can implement and control social distancing in a pub let alone a swing club. I really hope this whole mess goes away as soon as but the government, both local & national, arent going to take risks with public health which is unfortunately put our lifestyle choice at the bottom of the pile. Never forget the politicians always have an eye on the next election and that is very true right now as this situation won't be forgotten in a hurry. But, because there is always a but, there will be a way forward we just have to wait and see what science can bring to the party, for the scientists are the only ones who are going to find the keys to unlock the doors. Of course you and other club owners are the ones in our world who are going to suffer. From what I know of your club, which I will say looks very good, you will options possibly along the lines you've suggested because there will come a time when people will take what's on off as the only option but my comment re frustration still stands... All that aside I wish you all the luck because I feel you and the Townhouse are both in this for more than the £££ and that should be respected.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

Yep, understand, but trying to find gentle ways out of this....and chatting about how it was, would give us something to look forward to! Always the optimists.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

This is a fantastic post, and it makes the point that there is a life out there to be lived in the Clubs after all this, and more to the point, alongside all this.

I remember how completely sexy it was to play Pool in a Club, just wearing lingerie.

With some different thinking, Swinging Clubs could take back control, and perhaps enter a new era on how people enjoy themselves around eachother.

I would be happy to put this time we are living through in its place with a different take on being a free spirit, and what you've suggested is a fantastic idea of where to start, thank you xxxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rumpet and ScouseCouple over a year ago

Chorley

I'm like a lot of people on here yes I would still go to clubs even if sex isnt allowed, I like to dress in underwear or be naked without being judged, i have made some great friends and would happily go just to socialise and meet people.

Scouse has been with me once but even we didnt play in the club he sent me off to play with someone else lol... I am hoping to get him back to another club and this may just be the perfect way to get those that are self conscious into a club.

If any of you can help me encourage him post lock down to come to a club your help would be much appreciated lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

the club becomes a pub.. Nik"

A very sexy pub

The social side, getting dressed up is what we're missing, naughty banter combo

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it would work, some are saying about they want more. Well that's ok there's a hotel next door if they want that, or stay away. Hopefully you be able to open soon, a day out in brum and night our can't wait.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *etite_delightWoman over a year ago

BunnyLand

It’s fun to play in the club but not an essential for me . I like to go to a club and socialise with likeminded people , dance and have conversations

Plus you can always go to a hotel after for some naughty fun. However, I know some people may not willing to pay entry fees if they cannot play in the club or won’t get watched by voyeurs x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't...."

I've never expected sex whenever I've visited a swing club, and after 16 visits as a single guy (to various clubs), I've only had sex with 2 people. I've always gone with a mind open to the possibility of meeting someone I make a connection with, and we COULD share some sexy fun on the night, but I don't expect it. The very least I HAVE expected, is to meet likeminded friendly people........

Would I visit a swing club with no possibility of sexy play on the menu, with strict social distancing measures in place? No. Geographically and financially for me, there's absolutely no draw for me. If you pare back a swing club to what is effectively 'just' a pub, then I'll be walking the 750 yards to support my local, pay the same entry fee as everyone else (£0), and enjoy socialising with likeminded people ie; other people who like going to the pub. There won't be anyone sitting around in lingerie, or porn playing on a screen somewhere, but I won't be leaving frustrated either

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple over a year ago

Northumberland

"It’s fun to play in the club but not an essential for me . I like to go to a club and socialise with likeminded people , dance and have conversations

Plus you can always go to a hotel after for some naughty fun. However, I know some people may not willing to pay entry fees if they cannot play in the club or won’t get watched by voyeurs x

I think this will be the issue. I think it's £25/30 for us to visit our nearest club as a couple and one of us has to drive. In comparison we've been to organised socials in a private function room which only costs £10. That's quite a difference but would essentially be quite similar minusc everyone walking about in their lingerie x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

But you could still make friendships leading to sex outside the Club, and get a 'glimpse' of what is on offer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

To a certain extent we would have to agree.

We don't expect sex but we go to a club knowing that there is a possibility, maybe even likelihood, of some fun on the night.

We fully expect that in the short term social distancing will almost certainly mean that sex in clubs will be on hold for a while.

In those circumstances we would still support our local clubs. However if that situation became permanent or even semi permanent, then long term we would not see any point in spending 20/30/40€ plus travel for just a social event.

As you say, we can do that down the pub.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

To a certain extent we would have to agree.

We don't expect sex but we go to a club knowing that there is a possibility, maybe even likelihood, of some fun on the night.

We fully expect that in the short term social distancing will almost certainly mean that sex in clubs will be on hold for a while.

As you say, we can do that down the pub.

But that's then fine, we wouldn't need to provide playrooms, jacuzzi's, cinemas, or go through all the hoops for the council, so our overheads would dramatically reduce, and we might even be able to just use all the area as a massive pub, pretty sure some clubs will be looking at this option already.

What we're trying to establish is if there is a half way house for the short to medium term that would work, allowing us to keep the club as it is.

From the support we've got on the thread, plus everything we're getting through on other media, the answer is overwhelmingly yes, but we guess time will tell.

We also have the added advantage of starting with a massive club. I'm feeling for the folks who had a capacity of 60 before Covid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do we "need" to have sex in a club? NO.

Do we "like" to have sex in a club? YES.

Our swinger life is almost exclusively in clubs and sex is the main (but not only) reason we go.

We have had some very wild sex in clubs but we've also had plenty of nights when it is just social.

I'm pretty sure that when the clubs open again our first few outings will be much more social than sex.

However should the sex totally disappear from clubs I really don't see any point in them staying open.

We agree 110%

Can't wait until the first sexy social night with you guys.

We still think a Kinky Karaoke in the club is a great idea!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

But you could still make friendships leading to sex outside the Club, and get a 'glimpse' of what is on offer. "

I'm doing that anyway right now, with more people putting effort in to using Fab, rather than taking the 'easy' option of just rocking up to a club and seeing who's in.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS over a year ago

Bristol.

I think in many ways this highlights quite a difference in culture between gay and straight...

Can you imagine no sex in a gay sauna?? The answer has to be an emphatic NO.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

To a certain extent we would have to agree.

We don't expect sex but we go to a club knowing that there is a possibility, maybe even likelihood, of some fun on the night.

We fully expect that in the short term social distancing will almost certainly mean that sex in clubs will be on hold for a while.

As you say, we can do that down the pub.

What we're trying to establish is if there is a half way house for the short to medium term that would work, allowing us to keep the club as it is.

From the support we've got on the thread, plus everything we're getting through on other media, the answer is overwhelmingly yes, but we guess time will tell.

We also have the added advantage of starting with a massive club. I'm feeling for the folks who had a capacity of 60 before Covid

Fully agree that there must be some kind of middle ground. But that can only be in the short term.

If you take the sex away permanently then clubs will just become swinger friendly bars. A bit like in Gran Canary or Cap d'Agde.

They work fine in holiday resorts that attract lots of swingers when it's a 5 minute walk or short taxi ride from the hotel/apartment. Also those swinger friendly bars don't charge an entrance fee, and are more often than not used as a meeting point before going on to a club.

Think about how far some people travel to go to a swinger club. When I was in the UK I would drive to Cupids, Liaisons, or the Adam and Eve from Blackpool.

For many clubs single guys are the financial lifeblood. Do you really think that they will drive an hour or more, pay membership, and high entrance fees for a social?.

Initially maybe, but it wouldn't last long. You could also say the same about a lot of couples.

Sorry but unless swinger clubs get at least close to normal in a reasonable time frame then I don't see many (if any) surviving.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

But you could still make friendships leading to sex outside the Club, and get a 'glimpse' of what is on offer.

I'm doing that anyway right now, with more people putting effort in to using Fab, rather than taking the 'easy' option of just rocking up to a club and seeing who's in.....

But there must have been a reason you went to a Club 16 times in spite of only getting laid twice out of it. There must have been enjoyment besides the sex in being there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sex is not the problem social distancing is the issue sure the clubs will reopen when other places gather such football cinema churches etc we will all after wait until 2 metre rule is disposed off which at some time it will be cannot be right to not let younger people use disco night clubs etc indefinitely when number decrease we drop to zone 2 sure alll places reopen but not b4 getting to zone could take some time that's the issue read 50 page goverment article its on line to download zone 1 is Corona free which will never happen zone 2 public gatherings is where we have to get to another issue is that no clubs etc people will meet on line no pubs people drink in parks house parties so which ever way viris willl never go away fully I say take a chance live life not matter how old we are we will not be around for to much longer

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *educedWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

What's sex?

One of the reasons why I am a regular at Xtasia is because I don't feel the pressure to have sex where as at some clubs I do. I'm not knocking those clubs by the way but for us 'slow burners' Xtasia is perfect. I may meet someone at the club and then arrange to do the deed elsewhere. That suits me.

I also like to dance. Some people may like the thrill of the glory holes, for example and all power to them. I get my kicks from dancing and sometimes just in my pants.

However, I'm not a shrinking violet either and love being a part of the 'lifestyle' and respect that everyone is different and we visit clubs for different reasons. That's what I like to think, makes us unique as well as united.

Someone mentioned karaoke. That gets a big thumbs up from me.

Is there scope for doing something socially via digital platforms until you're in a better position re opening?

I would gladly pay to enter a quiz night or even a karaoke type thing. I'm sure others would too. How about a virtual Dpraved on Zoom?

I can't remember the original question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's sex?

I also like to dance. Some people may like the thrill of the glory holes, for example and all power to them. I get my kicks from dancing and sometimes just in my pants.

Someone mentioned karaoke. That gets a big thumbs up from me.

Is there scope for doing something socially via digital platforms until you're in a better position re opening?

I would gladly pay to enter a quiz night or even a karaoke type thing. I'm sure others would too. How about a virtual Dpraved on Zoom?

I can't remember the original question.

Am with you on this mindset xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"my thing has always been that i go to a club to meet l likeminded people, and if anything happens from there, then that is a bonus...

playing in a club has never been a be all or end all for me.... playing in a club has never ever been a deal breaker in whether i have enjoyed a night or not!

i treat it like any other night i have out....

BUT you can tell straight away those people where playing is an all or nothing sum, and boy they let you know it when they don't play!!!

and in that sense clubs are brilliant who "gets it" mind wise in the scene.. and who doesn't....

Let's all hope the world sorts itself out sooner rather than later

But you could still make friendships leading to sex outside the Club, and get a 'glimpse' of what is on offer.

I'm doing that anyway right now, with more people putting effort in to using Fab, rather than taking the 'easy' option of just rocking up to a club and seeing who's in.....

But there must have been a reason you went to a Club 16 times in spite of only getting laid twice out of it. There must have been enjoyment besides the sex in being there. "

Answered privately so not to derail the OP

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's sex?

I also like to dance. Some people may like the thrill of the glory holes, for example and all power to them. I get my kicks from dancing and sometimes just in my pants.

Someone mentioned karaoke. That gets a big thumbs up from me.

Is there scope for doing something socially via digital platforms until you're in a better position re opening?

I would gladly pay to enter a quiz night or even a karaoke type thing. I'm sure others would too. How about a virtual Dpraved on Zoom?

I can't remember the original question.

"
We are with you be great sexy quiz, Karaoke even fancy dress or a prize for the sexist dance. The options are endless sure we can fill a lot of weekends as we wait for the rules to relax.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ebwizMan over a year ago

Clevedon

Interesting comments. Me and my wife, although not going to clubs much now, when we did was to watch and be watched having sex and the glory holes held a attraction to me. However a hour and a half drive each way to club we like plus entry fee, for what would be at best a saucy version of a pub would hold no interest for us. Truly difficult times for all involved, I really don't have an answer to ways forward.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"What's sex?

I also like to dance. Some people may like the thrill of the glory holes, for example and all power to them. I get my kicks from dancing and sometimes just in my pants.

Someone mentioned karaoke. That gets a big thumbs up from me.

Is there scope for doing something socially via digital platforms until you're in a better position re opening?

I would gladly pay to enter a quiz night or even a karaoke type thing. I'm sure others would too. How about a virtual Dpraved on Zoom?

I can't remember the original question.

We are with you be great sexy quiz, Karaoke even fancy dress or a prize for the sexist dance. The options are endless sure we can fill a lot of weekends as we wait for the rules to relax. "

Karaoke!!!!!!

That would be worse than sex.

Think about it. Microphone sharing?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nmgCouple over a year ago

Liverpool

We are by no means regular club goers, but we enjoy out evenings at Xtasia immensely.

I hope we don't all get carried away in some sort of social distancing paranoia with this..... Yes Covid 19 is a killer virus - believe me I get it, but every day we are making strides to formulate a mechanism to cope with it.

We may never totally eradicate it, but all of our lives are lived to a risk based approach - otherwise we'd never cross a road.

It worries me that some people are under the impression that social distancing is with us for years, or even for ever. Total rubbish! Once the testing regime and other scientific cone head mumbo jumbo is in place we will go back to our normal lives, including clubbing.

So get you chins up fabbers! We WILL conquer this and return to our previous depraved, seedy lifestyles!!! Have a little faith and be positive - and let's stop spreading depressed panic!

I'd we all do the right thing and take the short term pain, we will all reap the rewards of the long term gain

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We are by no means regular club goers, but we enjoy out evenings at Xtasia immensely.

We may never totally eradicate it, but all of our lives are lived to a risk based approach - otherwise we'd never cross a road.

So get you chins up fabbers! We WILL conquer this and return to our previous depraved, seedy lifestyles!!! Have a little faith and be positive - and let's stop spreading depressed panic!

I'd we all do the right thing and take the short term pain, we will all reap the rewards of the long term gain "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We go to a club with no expectations other than to have a good time

Probably dont play 30% of the time

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Totally agree with comments about how enjoyable the social side can be but it's all underpinned by the latent possibility of sex, the chance to experience that powerful chemistry and surrender to it on the spot - however infrequently that may happen in practice. To put it bluntly, sex is not essential but the possibility of it is.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ireman28Man over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Nottinghamshire

Let's hope the clubs will open again sooner rather than later ay!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *umpkinMan over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

"Totally agree with comments about how enjoyable the social side can be but it's all underpinned by the latent possibility of sex, the chance to experience that powerful chemistry and surrender to it on the spot - however infrequently that may happen in practice. To put it bluntly, sex is not essential but the possibility of it is. "

Being voyeuristic, I can "survive" on a diet of watching, especially if I`m watching hand movements underwater in the jacuzzi. If I manage to get a hand job or can reciprocate in some minor way I`ve had a good night! So perhaps more emphasis on other having sex is my position.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

This is a fair point but still underlines the importance of sex being able to happen at the club, whether participating or not!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reecian77Man over a year ago

north west

Iv not even been too a club yet really don’t know what to expect but sure it will be fun x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aidForSharingWoman over a year ago

Lancs

Eureka have reopened as a sunbathe venue only. Back in time they were a disco party scene with what looked like 90% of people on the dance floor, 5% outdoors chatting, 5% playing in the back rooms.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fascinating debate continues on clubs in forums. For those that don't know me... I have been in social/club scene for over 5yrs. I have always treated Fab exactly the same as I do as a 'normal civilian' so I get the whole 'it's not all about sex' been fortunate enough to be involved in many events so I understand how things work including behind the scenes and the dynamic.

For those forum posters and lurkers that do know me throughout the UK... can't wait to be rockin n rollin again. We just have to be patient and save energy for when the time is right.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

....and trying to ease all your frustrations isn't a good thing?

Yep, understand, but trying to find gentle ways out of this....and chatting about how it was, would give us something to look forward to! Always the optimists.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I chose this thread because I agree with that couple. Thank you for posting. Worth spreading the word and reading again.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Eureka have reopened as a sunbathe venue only. Back in time they were a disco party scene with what looked like 90% of people on the dance floor, 5% outdoors chatting, 5% playing in the back rooms."

Happy memories at Eureka, going back years!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oe02Man over a year ago

Birmingham

Yeah isn’t it _tasia sex club, which means you can meet people there AND have sex with them in that place and socialis ,if it’s not then emmm????

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oe02Man over a year ago

Birmingham

Yep single guys they will never come from far away or different distance to just chill there or for a drink Soo we all need to wait for this deadly virus to fuck if not the those who want to risk go head but let’s respect the

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/05/20 03:28:59]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/05/20 04:48:08]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing. "

Yes no one will pay £70 membership fee £25,£30& £35 everynight if a sex club without the possibility of sex and the clubs is just going to be empty after weeks and Noo fun no new ppl and it will end up closed or dry soo I’m not saying _tasia but most clubs earn they are money from single guys if those single don’t get what they want then they will never come and from Far places and this club is going to be useless,profitless and no one want to see that right because it’s such a beautiful club with a lots very respectful ppl and I think they need to wait and just run it the same way as before but only when this deadly virus is gone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Yeah isn’t it _tasia sex club, which means you can meet people there AND have sex with them in that place and socialis ,if it’s not then emmm????

No, Xtasia is not a Sex club, it's a swingers/lifestyle club. Sex clubs are completely different things.

Sex in swingers clubs is not going to be happening for the foreseeable future so to survive until this can happen again decent swingers/lifestyle clubs have to find ways of generating revenue to stay afloat.

Myself and lots of other people I know would be happy to visit clubs in whatever capacity they can reopen just to help them get through this difficult time.

I can't wait to catch up with some of the many friends that I've made via the club scene. Even if it does mean social distancing for the foreseeable future.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *OXO2018Couple over a year ago

Norfolk

We have a 3 hour round trip for our favourite club where all our friends are and unfortunately we'd not be travelling that far for chat in a pub when we could do in the next village and wouldn't have to pay £20 to get in either.

But however we'd go if we was able to play with each other and watch others play.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nmgCouple over a year ago

Liverpool

"We have a 3 hour round trip for our favourite club where all our friends are and unfortunately we'd not be travelling that far for chat in a pub when we could do in the next village and wouldn't have to pay £20 to get in either.

But however we'd go if we was able to play with each other and watch others play."

Absolutely agree with this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewcouplemidsCouple over a year ago

walsall

We look forward to seeing _tasia reopen and if it's only as a club then that's good for us as play isn't the number one priority

We enjoy a good social night and a drink in a bar where no one feels too old or unwelcome

Keep up the good work _tasia and see you soon

Wish all the club owners the best through this as we will all need you back soon as x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *toC Thats MeWoman over a year ago

Sheffield

I’d happily travel to have a mingle and a drink. It’s not just about the sex and have also visited a club and not played a few times.

This virus isn’t going anywhere, it’s not going to make disappear one day...we just have to learn to live with it. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

Some of the best nights I’ve had at my local club have been in the kitchen drinking tea and having a laugh with old friends and it’s a great place to meet new ones as well.

Definitely no need to play at a club to make it a fun night. Flirting and teasing can be much more fun.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We are by no means regular club goers, but we enjoy out evenings at Xtasia immensely.

We may never totally eradicate it, but all of our lives are lived to a risk based approach - otherwise we'd never cross a road.

So get you chins up fabbers! We WILL conquer this and return to our previous depraved, seedy lifestyles!!! Have a little faith and be positive - and let's stop spreading depressed panic!

I'd we all do the right thing and take the short term pain, we will all reap the rewards of the long term gain "

I hope you're right.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do we "need" to have sex in a club? NO.

Do we "like" to have sex in a club? YES.

Our swinger life is almost exclusively in clubs and sex is the main (but not only) reason we go.

We have had some very wild sex in clubs but we've also had plenty of nights when it is just social.

I'm pretty sure that when the clubs open again our first few outings will be much more social than sex.

However should the sex totally disappear from clubs I really don't see any point in them staying open.

I can definitely see the point of the short term plan and really hope people support it to keep clubs open. I wouldn't go though. Cheaper and easier to go to a pub.

I go to swinger clubs to watch people fuck and/ or to join in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ikilovesCCouple over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Great post Op, we live a long way from our closest club and don't get very often bus yes

we would absolutely go and support clubs if they were able to reopen in some kind of social club capacity.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urrey Dave 69Man over a year ago

Epsom, Surrey

"Some of the best nights I’ve had at my local club have been in the kitchen drinking tea and having a laugh with old friends and it’s a great place to meet new ones as well.

Definitely no need to play at a club to make it a fun night. Flirting and teasing can be much more fun. "

I agree with the above but also think the POTENTIAL of having a great sexual encounter is also a motivator for folks to go to a club. There will be a demand for a post lockdown social only swinging club but the unknown question is will there be enough a demand at the prices that need to be charged to make it worthwhile for club owners to open. A similar dilema will face pubs and restaurants if they have to reduce capacity close to or below their break-even volume.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As has been said before, lots of clubs make money out of single guys and all most all of them won't be willing to part with £50 plus or even £30 just for a social. Of course some will but they will be the minority.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very good point!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As has been said before, lots of clubs make money out of single guys and all most all of them won't be willing to part with £50 plus or even £30 just for a social. Of course some will but they will be the minority. "
There's a hotel next door for anyone who wants to fuck, the club will probably only get a licence to open as a club. So we look forward to going for a sexy evening, if you want a sex party then it private parties only this year.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We are by no means regular club goers, but we enjoy out evenings at Xtasia immensely.

We may never totally eradicate it, but all of our lives are lived to a risk based approach - otherwise we'd never cross a road.

So get you chins up fabbers! We WILL conquer this and return to our previous depraved, seedy lifestyles!!! Have a little faith and be positive - and let's stop spreading depressed panic!

I'd we all do the right thing and take the short term pain, we will all reap the rewards of the long term gain

I hope you're right.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

luton

Enjoy all aspects of club, we treat them for socialising and knowing the naughty side that if we wanted fun we could do so, the ones expecting sex because they are swingers clubs mainly single guys should be got rid of but it's hard to separate from decent guys

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

in one way of thinking it might actually cut down on the wanky men, as the instant gratification they are looking for just wouldn't be available.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

"As has been said before, lots of clubs make money out of single guys and all most all of them won't be willing to part with £50 plus or even £30 just for a social. Of course some will but they will be the minority. "
. As a single guy I have attend organised socials in London that are normally held in a pub with the cost of travel , drink , meal I can quite easily spend £20 - £30 so I have no problem spending that for a social at a club.I would consider spending £50 at a club social but as a single guy I would like there to be enough ladies as a bit of flirting and good natured banter can make for a fun night out.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

"For years and years we've run a club and been asked more times than we care to remember "Do we need to have sex in the club"?

The answer is obviously "No". Always has been, always will be, and same applies to all genuine swingers clubs.

The HIV argument has been done to death on here, but one point to make is it didn't stop everyone going to the gay clubs, it just stopped a lot of play occurring.

Not all who visit are interested in having sexual with others.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m intrigued at the concept of ‘flirty night’, how will that work in clubs where social distancing measures will need to be in place?

The suggestion for pubs seems to be fully seated, table service etc. I suspect any club trying it would likely face quite a hard time and/or scrutiny from the council or indeed local press etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a club virgin looking to go first time after lockdown its great to hear some many on about just going for a drink and chat.

For my first visit i would like just drink, chat and look around (understood its in shorts or towel)

As a single guy on fab i need to get out there as through fab is very hard work getting meets as no veris since i rejoined.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atching and WantingCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Its been a while since we have been in the forums so been great to read of all the changes that have happened at Xtasia and cant wait to see them.

We agree with a lot of the comments on here, main one, we go for the social side but knowing sex / being watched could happen is a driver for us to make the journey however if there isn't any fun no stress, we simply have a few drinks, chat, people watch and go home happy. Just for clarification, in case we have missed it, are we saying even playing as a couple in front of another couple at 2m isn't allowed??

Would we go knowing all that will happen we could do at out local pub, except for the nakedness, probably not.

The other concern for us would be traveling over an hour only to be turned away as already 60 people in the club, that isn't a huge number or would it work on a guest list basis??

At some point, possibly early next year(here's hoping) when the crowds are back watching the football, going to pop concerts, all this discussion will be irrelevant but I totally get needing to find something in the interim.

It does feel there is enough support from people who will attend knowing things cant happen at the club so maybe for us we just need to wait a little longer before we attend so at least the option is there, unless the above is an option, in which case we will be back once opened

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elshman52Man over a year ago

North Wales

I have attended three or four clubs and rarely have sex. Most visits have been for the social side. Best night for me was at Townhouse where I spent most of it chatting in the jacuzzi.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rank speakerMan over a year ago

Worcester

"We look forward to seeing _tasia reopen and if it's only as a club then that's good for us as play isn't the number one priority

We enjoy a good social night and a drink in a bar where no one feels too old or unwelcome

Keep up the good work _tasia and see you soon

Wish all the club owners the best through this as we will all need you back soon as x"

Firstly I'll admit to not having read every single comment on this thread.However in reply to the original question about is sex obligatory in clubs, in my experience it's a big no. I recently took a completely new to the scene vanilla friend to a club as an introduction to the scene. She was initially terrified of the whole idea but thanks to a lovely atmosphere and some great fellow guests we met purely socially she was very assured by the whole experience. There was no sexual activity of any kind but just social activity and the whole experience was very reassuring for her which in my book is a win,win situation. I can't see any other gentle no pressure way of introducing someone to the scene?

So roll on safe reopening!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rank speakerMan over a year ago

Worcester

Late to the party again I'm afraid. But may I use this thread to ask if the owners of Xstasia did get round to installing the 'cage I saw mentioned in an earlier post? Given the right conditions I have a lady friend who is very exhibitionist and would love the idea of being exposed in a safe but visible environment if you have? It strikes me as a good way of providing this experience with the advantage of social distancing?

Please pm if the thread gets closed

Best of luck!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he Hussy and The VoyeurCouple over a year ago

Somewhere Only We Know

[Removed by poster at 20/05/20 06:35:36]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he Hussy and The VoyeurCouple over a year ago

Somewhere Only We Know

We've been using a couple of clubs for a fair few years. They are a big part of our social life and loved to get together with friends.

The events clubs had were the only times we could meet up with some of them due to travelling etc etc and we spent hours catching up. The social side of clubs is crucial for us to get to know people and build a kind of friendship and trust and then possibly take it to another level.

Now this C-19 situation has come along, everyone has had to readjust to their lifestyles and adapt their priorities and surroundings. Home life won't be the same for a long time and neither will work and business.

The main problem with all this going on is the lack of physical social interaction.

How easy did it used to be to shake hands, hug, kiss and show affection to friends and family?

How hard is it to stay away from family? How hard is it to keep a safe distance and not hug the kids and grandkids? Or brothers, sisters, mums and dads? The temptation is strong!

How hard is it going to be if clubs open on strict guidelines of no physical contact? The social side and distancing would be great. A catch up and a giggle with friends is what we could all do with. But imagine the huge temptation for some to have a quick fumble in a dark corner somewhere. Would that temptation be too much? Once someone sees what was happening, people would follow suit, monkey see, monkey do. After all, sex is a primal urge and emotion. And if it got to be public knowledge, would the clubs suffer the consequences of being closed perminently?

There's so many questions to be asked and answered. So many do's and don'ts. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Anyway, that's my early morning waffle over lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he Hussy and The VoyeurCouple over a year ago

Somewhere Only We Know

"We've been using a couple of clubs for a fair few years. They are a big part of our social life and loved to get together with friends.

The main problem with all this going on is the lack of physical social interaction.

How easy did it used to be to shake hands, hug, kiss and show affection to friends and family?

How hard is it to stay away from family? How hard is it to keep a safe distance and not hug the kids and grandkids? Or brothers, sisters, mums and dads? The temptation is strong!

There's so many questions to be asked and answered. So many do's and don'ts. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Anyway, that's my early morning waffle over lol"

We posted this on another thread but its food for thought.

Another thing that we wondered about. When clubs reopen, will they be upgrading washing facilities? More showers, hand gels etc etc to help with restricting any future situations similar to the one we're in?

Obviously, most people we know take their own hygiene products to clubs, as we do, but will it be part of the new remit by the government guidelines to upgrade at adult venues?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky NikkiTV/TS over a year ago

Kinksville

I sometimes went to clubs just to get dressed and feel sexy. Missing this at the moment as I can't dress at home. They are a safe place for cross dressers to dress and put make up on etc.

Missing this Soo much.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Late to the party again I'm afraid. But may I use this thread to ask if the owners of Xstasia did get round to installing the 'cage I saw mentioned in an earlier post? Given the right conditions I have a lady friend who is very exhibitionist and would love the idea of being exposed in a safe but visible environment if you have? It strikes me as a good way of providing this experience with the advantage of social distancing?

Please pm if the thread gets closed

Best of luck!

Yes we did

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oojCouple over a year ago

exeter

But however we'd go if we was able to play with each other and watch others play."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Handy with the hotel next door

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We absolutely love going to clubs and have been going to clubs all over for the last 10 years.

We love the social side but anyone who says that they don’t go to a club hoping that there might be some fun is a complete liar.

It’s the buzz of being in a club that makes the journey...as they all invokes journey worth the effort.

If we don’t play with another couple we enjoy the sexual atmosphere of the club.

A swingers club without swinging is a waste of time.

It’s awful for club owners

But the truth of the matter is your going to have to not charge people to enter if the facilities are not useable.

Anyone can arrange just a social meet with likeminded people in any pub...and pubs don’t charge to get in

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *enjones69Man over a year ago

Port Talbot

No I can do it outside also

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *all me FlikWoman over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

We dont always play with others in a club but mostly we do. If we knew we definitely couldn't play with others would we go?...not sure if I'm being honest....probably not.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are very specific our boundaries are our own. We are all different - but what we all share is a love of sex and the openess of the lifestyle / community. We’ve played but rarely in the club. We are happy with the social aspect and if parties interest follow that outside the club. We miss our friends we’ve made hugely... and both club owner they are unique thoughtful and proper care about the community as a whole.

We cannot wait to support you in whatever way we can going forward

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

Ok here we go..

I have been a member of the club scene for over 15 years. Not every week but every couple of weeks. Do I play not at all the time, do I like to chat and flirt hell yes. Do I like to watch hell yes as well

For me clubs are like nightclubs and restaurants/bars at the moment. Am I missing clubs, yep, but I think it will be a long while till both clubs reopen and people go regularly

A club could reopen the day lockdown is stopped but how many people would go back straight away. I would go to my regular club, would I play maybe a bit of bdsm or watching. The problem is I need to get a tube, then a train and a hotel and a taxi to the club

It’s difficult situation for club owners and managers. Hearing that the hospitality industry is looking at mid July onwards but some offices are saying November before we go back to normally. Realistically September is looking likely and I guess most clubs are probably preparing for this kind of date

Would I attend a private party, I would if I was invited but tbh they pose the same risks if not more. Clubs ask for id and could limit those to Id only coming in. Private parties could be anyone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has the club your video tour thing been updated after all the improvements?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Has the club your video tour thing been updated after all the improvements?"

No sorry, improvements still ongoing so may renew when all done but also need to consider what we sign post each area as post shut down. No point calling somewhere Orgy room when no orgies allowed etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nnie2009Couple over a year ago

Blackpool

"Numerous times we’ve visited Xtasia (And many other clubs) and not had sex. We enjoy the social side and have often said it’s not just about the sex.

Keep up the good work, we can’t wait to see you all agin! Xx"
same here, go to socialise with friends and have a laugh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

A sex club without the possibility of sex is just another club. Yes you can have a more erotic feel and or theme but I would suggest that would lead to frustration and that's never a good thing.

Don’t know which club charges as you describe. Certainly as far as I am conceded NONE in the northwest (stand to be corrected) certainly not Cupids !!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

luton

We go to club with knowing we can if we want to, we've been to our local club about 18 times and only indulged about 10 as they are a good place to socialise, we find our club so much friendlier

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *itsalena2Couple over a year ago

Kent

At a guess we’ve probably attended clubs over 300 times in the 6 years we’ve been in this scene and we have probably only played with other people in the region of 15-20 times , in fact one of our favourite clubs is over 150 miles away from us and we’ve never played ,

For us it’s the social side that we enjoy more,

So if clubs were to open and there was no playing allowed we would gladly still attend.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he-ProfessorMan over a year ago

cheltenham

Lots of interesting points above.

As a single guy who has been on the club scene for 10 years & definitely operate on the basis of it is a social activity with anything else being a bonus I am afraid to say, in answer to the OP question "I would go yes but I wouldn't pay usual entry prices".

Why?

Well firstly all clubs are over an hours drive away for me , that is 2 hours round trip minimum (often more like 4 hours thanks to the M5) to meet up with people who may or may not be there!

Arrange before the day, sure you could but why would you arrange to meet at a place that charges high entry fees when you could have a more comfortable, quieter meet at a place that was free entry?

As for making new friends sure, definitely possible but it is unlikely that those friendships will endure when faced with such a long journey just to say hello.

Then there is the main reason I go to clubs, I'm a voyeur. I like to watch people play, I like to watch people enjoy themselves & others.

You can't do that sort of thing in normal venues but you can have flirty even suggestive conversations in normal venues, you simply have to judge how best to build up to it if at all.

That isn't much different to any successful approach in swingers clubs anyway, just because they choose that type of venue doesn't me they are wanting to be approached like that.

The other reason I go to clubs is to use the spa facilities. Whilst I can use those in leisure centres etc. they obviously don't have the same atmosphere as the do in clubs.

In a leisure centre it is predominantly a quiet affair with little interaction where as at swinging clubs they are full of cheaky banter & laughter.

So I would go;

It would be nice to see my friends but as all other aspects are going to be absent there is no way to justify an entry fee above a token gesture which I'm sure isn't enough to make it viable for the club, especially as I'd be buying nothing more than mixers at the bar.

I guess my return question to the OP is would it be viable to run the club if you could only charge £5 per head entrance & sell a few glasses of cola?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tasia OP Couple over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Lots of interesting points above.