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Do clicky clubs really exist?
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Do you believe that some clubs are actually clicky compared to others?
We felt that was the case, but going to Xtasia last night I think I came to feel more that maybe it's not true. As in it's not actually the people at all and more about things like the way the physical venue and their rules cause people to act. Music too loud, awkward locations for seating etc. With Xtasia in "pub" mode it was a very different and much friendlier experience we found, and only due to quieter music and fold up tables. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We mostly visit clubs for daytime events and haven't (yet) managed many evening events so our comparison may not be representative, however we find that with daytime events that as the music is quieter and people are drinking less we find it far easier to break the ice and connect to people compared to evening events. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think perhaps we project our own fears and people might come across as aloof or signally uninterest when in actual fact they're as apprehensive about being rejected.
A very wise lady taught me this!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's just some peoples perception when they ate new to a club, it can feel like everyone else knows each other , but I'm yet to have been anywhere that hadn't made us feel comfortable once we have made the effort to chat |
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Always seems to us clubs are rather like the school disco. People often at the sides of the room trying to be cool but too nervous to make a move/go talk. So we generally give people benefit of the doubt. Because chances are they are in their comfort zone with their friends and just as nervous of new people as the new people are of approaching them. |
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We experienced what we believed to be clique behaviour on our first few club visits but on reflection we decided it was more about how we were projecting ourselves as being quite shy, nervous etc, once we put ourselves out there and struck up conversations most people seem really happy to open up and chat, also sometimes it's important to remember that the other people might be shitting themselves just as much as you, just because they were there when you arrived doesn't automatically mean that they go every week |
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It’s not that clubs are “clicky”, however unfortunately it does come across as though some of the clientele are. I wouldn’t blame them, as it’s become the norm to arrange premeets at clubs. Also people have become less likely to initiate interaction with others, so again this has fueled the situation. Also I feel single males are somewhat seen as predators only looking for sex! rather than also enjoying the interaction with others. So couples and females are less likely to initiate things with them. it’s interesting to actually talk to single females and couples, who generally feel the same way, in so much that people don’t often talk to them. Some, ok a fair majority - of single guys do spoil it, by staring at boobs or following females and couples around. But mostly they also are willing to talk and are open to conversation with females and couples. I think generally all need to make more of an effort, and if you have prearranged a meet, maybe do try to initiate conversation with others. Who knows you may actually have more fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perfectly normal for 2 couples to arrange to meet at a club after a while exchanging messages etc. So when they arrive they obviously go and huddle and chat.
And of course there will be regulars who may chat with each other in more depth than you as an outsider might get invited into.
Relax, be yourself and don't force yourself on anyone. Take some time to tune into your surroundings and you'll probably start to see this for yourself, and find where your place is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends, in life in general there will be people who are in a circle of friends, this happens in clubs too... we love xtasia go go there exclusively and look forward to our first post lockdown visit end of sept.
However, it’s how people act with others, if they act elitist or exclusive just to focus on their circle then yes, you will get a clicky atmosphere.
Awesome group of friends and xtasia, but what I think is felt and stands out there is that everyone is welcomed... we all talk to everyone and do our best to make people welcomed and in turn the circle gets bigger...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it depends, in life in general there will be people who are in a circle of friends, this happens in clubs too... we love xtasia go go there exclusively and look forward to our first post lockdown visit end of sept.
However, it’s how people act with others, if they act elitist or exclusive just to focus on their circle then yes, you will get a clicky atmosphere.
Awesome group of friends and xtasia, but what I think is felt and stands out there is that everyone is welcomed... we all talk to everyone and do our best to make people welcomed and in turn the circle gets bigger... "
I think it all comes down to fear of rejection, so making eye contact and hoping you get a smile. But larger groups are a bit more intimidating, age can also be a barrier. I think going regularly might help hope so anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Deffo does happen. We've been to many clubs over the years, depends also on the night. If big groups who already know each other all meet up they seem to all stay close. Le boudoir in London was the worst for the click factor that's for sure |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"Do you believe that some clubs are actually clicky compared to others?
We felt that was the case, but going to Xtasia last night I think I came to feel more that maybe it's not true. As in it's not actually the people at all and more about things like the way the physical venue and their rules cause people to act. Music too loud, awkward locations for seating etc. With Xtasia in "pub" mode it was a very different and much friendlier experience we found, and only due to quieter music and fold up tables. "
I think it's more a perception than reality in most cases. It's natural for people that all know each other to chat to each other in groups but me and most people I know do make an effort to bring others into the conversation.
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We haven’t really experienced this in Clubs. We tend to go to a variety of Clubs because we enjoy different experiences. To make things easier, we tend to put a meet up on Fab and arrange with several people that we will be at a Club. Sometimes they show, sometimes not. When we do meet someone then it gives all of us someone to chat to and it breaks the ice a bit. We are soooo looking forward to going Clubbing again  |
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I think it can depend when you go to the club. We arrived quite late to one club night and it felt like all the regulars had settled in their group to chat. Trying to break into that group was pretty difficult. We joined the other newbies along the wall after that.
If you turn up early then you can start up some good chats and be more involved.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah we totally would say yes it does happen on occasions down here in the southwest and no wouldn't say that it's the club itself but the the groups of people who can attend.
Also it's can be perceived that groups of friends or the young crowd can be a click.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just want to say what other posters have said.
Regulars will always chat to others they know there thus appearing clique to newcomers.
Once a new comer has visited a few times they become part of the clique.
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By *andJCouple
over a year ago
fun town |
We often visit clubs with groups of friends (15+) from all over the uk so we often spend all night chatting to each other catching up etc
If you sat on the sideline watching you would think it’s a clicky club and we’re regulars at that club, which isn’t always the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We mostly visit clubs for daytime events and haven't (yet) managed many evening events so our comparison may not be representative, however we find that with daytime events that as the music is quieter and people are drinking less we find it far easier to break the ice and connect to people compared to evening events. "
What clubs have you visited in the day ? |
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We always make sure we chat to newbies and make them feel welcome, after all we were all new to clubs once upon a time. One fella actually came back to Chams and said it was because of us. We didn't play, just chatted. We have our group of friends but not to the exclusion of others |
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