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Club newbie advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please! |
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hey there maybe take someone just so that you have someone to chat to and maybe have your 1st visit as a " fact finding " one have no plans to play just have the evening to look around and see how it goes am sure people will come to you and invite you to join them also let them approach you to chat it won't take long for you to get chatting and go from there just enjoy your visit  hope this helps |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
A club is about the safest place you can be.
If you have someone you're comfortable with, by all means go with them. But if you have have the confidence to go on your own, that's fine too. Lots of single women do. You can expect a lot of attention, unless you make it very clear that it isn't welcome.
Every club is different, and they work in different ways. With the ones I've been to, the night starts in the bar area, which is safe ground. People socialise, then later go to the play rooms. Some rooms will be private, just you and whoever you invite. Others are open. People can watch and (with permission) join in.
If there's a hot tub, that's a good place to meet people. It's generally quieter than the bar, and you get smaller groups that suit conversation. Smoking areas are similar (even if you don't smoke). But that's just my perception. The bar works fine for people who are less shy and better able to deal with noise.
I'm sure you know, but no clubs are open as clubs at the moment. A few have been opening for socials when the rules permit (sadly, that won't be including my regular for a while, as we're in tier 3). Things work very differently now, and no one knows when they'll return to normal. It's going to be a hell of a party when they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, you'll be safe. I'd you get bothered by anyone give them a firm no and if they don't get the hint talk to staff. Single women are highly sought after so you'll be welcomed anywhere. You can go as a pair if you want, the first time can be scary but everyone
is friendly!
Just talk to people like you would at a bar, and go with the flow and have a good time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hey there maybe take someone just so that you have someone to chat to and maybe have your 1st visit as a " fact finding " one have no plans to play just have the evening to look around and see how it goes am sure people will come to you and invite you to join them also let them approach you to chat it won't take long for you to get chatting and go from there just enjoy your visit hope this helps "
Thank you!!
With the best will in the world I'm probably not going to be reserved enough to keep it as a fact finding mission! Unless there's genuinely no one who i would like to play with. I don't really drink when meeting anyway so I'd have my head screwed on about whats happening around me. Thanks for the advice I do appreciate it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A club is about the safest place you can be.
If you have someone you're comfortable with, by all means go with them. But if you have have the confidence to go on your own, that's fine too. Lots of single women do. You can expect a lot of attention, unless you make it very clear that it isn't welcome.
Every club is different, and they work in different ways. With the ones I've been to, the night starts in the bar area, which is safe ground. People socialise, then later go to the play rooms. Some rooms will be private, just you and whoever you invite. Others are open. People can watch and (with permission) join in.
If there's a hot tub, that's a good place to meet people. It's generally quieter than the bar, and you get smaller groups that suit conversation. Smoking areas are similar (even if you don't smoke). But that's just my perception. The bar works fine for people who are less shy and better able to deal with noise.
I'm sure you know, but no clubs are open as clubs at the moment. A few have been opening for socials when the rules permit (sadly, that won't be including my regular for a while, as we're in tier 3). Things work very differently now, and no one knows when they'll return to normal. It's going to be a hell of a party when they do."
Thank you for the advice!
I do know clubs aren't open atm and when they do it will be in a different format depending on the tier but I know you were well meaning in pointing this out so thanks.
All great advice and will bear it all in mind! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yes, you'll be safe. I'd you get bothered by anyone give them a firm no and if they don't get the hint talk to staff. Single women are highly sought after so you'll be welcomed anywhere. You can go as a pair if you want, the first time can be scary but everyone
is friendly!
Just talk to people like you would at a bar, and go with the flow and have a good time."
This is the thing I'll talk to anyone in a regular bar so is it the same kind of set up then?
Just a bit wary of people pushing boundaries after a "no" so interesting that you mention people may not get the hint. Although then again if its no worse than the harassment you get in a nightclub then I'm sure ill cope! |
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"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please! "
Yeah clubs are absolutely safe and I would go with someone for your first time so you have someone to talk to. Also don’t go with any expectations of playing go to socialise and if you do play that’s a bonus. Just be careful of what we call the “wanking dead” they could follow you and if you do notice that let a member of staff know. |
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Clubs are lovely friendly safe places, you’ll be just fine. When they reopen the opening nights will be busy with us singletons I suspect!
Choose the night and club that you think best suits you and when you go tell them you’re nee and you’ll get a fully guided tour and the rules explained some clubs will also introduce you to some of the regulars so that you’re not like a rabbit in headlights,
As has already been said if you say no then it means no and most guys will respect that the odd few that don’t then just have a word with staff but in my experience you’ll find others that will actually tell the guy that you’ve said no and it means no and they then back off into their little corner again. If you think you’d be more comfortable going to a club with someone I’d happily join you but you’d need to hop over the Pennines.
Feel free to pm me with any questions I’m more than happy to help xx |
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"hey there maybe take someone just so that you have someone to chat to and maybe have your 1st visit as a " fact finding " one have no plans to play just have the evening to look around and see how it goes am sure people will come to you and invite you to join them also let them approach you to chat it won't take long for you to get chatting and go from there just enjoy your visit hope this helps
Thank you!!
With the best will in the world I'm probably not going to be reserved enough to keep it as a fact finding mission! Unless there's genuinely no one who i would like to play with. I don't really drink when meeting anyway so I'd have my head screwed on about whats happening around me. Thanks for the advice I do appreciate it!"
It's ok, I don't drink either and I wanted to go to a club but covid prevented it. But when I do go, my friends will come with me. I got alot of men suggesting they will go with me... Personally my advice is go with a reliable friend that you can trust.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please!
Yeah clubs are absolutely safe and I would go with someone for your first time so you have someone to talk to. Also don’t go with any expectations of playing go to socialise and if you do play that’s a bonus. Just be careful of what we call the “wanking dead” they could follow you and if you do notice that let a member of staff know. "
The wanking dead?! Hahahah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Clubs are lovely friendly safe places, you’ll be just fine. When they reopen the opening nights will be busy with us singletons I suspect!
Choose the night and club that you think best suits you and when you go tell them you’re nee and you’ll get a fully guided tour and the rules explained some clubs will also introduce you to some of the regulars so that you’re not like a rabbit in headlights,
As has already been said if you say no then it means no and most guys will respect that the odd few that don’t then just have a word with staff but in my experience you’ll find others that will actually tell the guy that you’ve said no and it means no and they then back off into their little corner again. If you think you’d be more comfortable going to a club with someone I’d happily join you but you’d need to hop over the Pennines.
Feel free to pm me with any questions I’m more than happy to help xx"
Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it!
I actually want to go by myself for the first time, I just don't want to be led by anyone else and whilst it's great to have the support I'd rather have the freedom of being on my own and choosing myself what I do, who I talk to, how I feel about it all. I think even subconsciously, the other persons perception of everything would rub off on me and I want to see everything with my own fresh eyes!
That said if you do think you see me at a club night feel free to say hi! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ll go with you if you like OP! Xx"
Thank you for the offer! I just want to go on my own to start with though, I just wanted to be sure its safe and get an idea of etiquette as ill be there alone.
That said if you think you recognise me feel free to come say hi! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello, I’m in a similar boat to you, keen to try a club for the first time after all this *waves hands* is over "
Hope the thread is giving you the confidence to go for it! |
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"I’ll go with you if you like OP! Xx
Thank you for the offer! I just want to go on my own to start with though, I just wanted to be sure its safe and get an idea of etiquette as ill be there alone.
That said if you think you recognise me feel free to come say hi!"
I went on my own the first time! Was a good idea I feel.
Enjoy yourself x |
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"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please!
Yeah clubs are absolutely safe and I would go with someone for your first time so you have someone to talk to. Also don’t go with any expectations of playing go to socialise and if you do play that’s a bonus. Just be careful of what we call the “wanking dead” they could follow you and if you do notice that let a member of staff know.
The wanking dead?! Hahahah"
It’s a name some of us use for the ones just walking around wanking haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ll go with you if you like OP! Xx
Thank you for the offer! I just want to go on my own to start with though, I just wanted to be sure its safe and get an idea of etiquette as ill be there alone.
That said if you think you recognise me feel free to come say hi!
I went on my own the first time! Was a good idea I feel.
Enjoy yourself x"
Thank you! |
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I'm a lone single lady who has been to clubs. They are very friendly and are great fun... but it is quite daunting at first. But if you ever need a companion, just give me a shout. I'm Leeds also xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The feeling of walking into a club for the first time is amazing, it's so exciting, you don't know where to look or what to do. I usually end up exploring first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hello
We suggest going on a quieter night, get a feel for the place and those running it.
Take a companion
Don't feel the need to engage or partake the first time
Be prepared to say NO, don't feel that going to a club means having sex, you don't have to, so don't allow yourself be pressured, a good club with good clientèle will have less of this going on
Know what you want from the lifestyle, the people in it and what it will give you back
Dont get pissed......a couple of drinks fine, however 'Dutch courage' is not the way to manage yourself in these circumstances
Once you have been once, we are sure you will love it
Simon and Miss T |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please! "
All the clubs will look after you.
you could just sit at the bar I'm sure you won't be alone for along, just be honest with couples about your first club experience. |
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By *eachy123Woman
over a year ago
Rochdale/Manchester/Blackpool and were ever the mood takes me |
Hi clubs are a great place for single ladies ,you will find if you mention it to anyone that works there that it's your first visit they will take you on a tour and possibly Introduce you to people to who are new also which normally you'll find you have the same reserves and nerves.
On the other side regular visitors to clubs you'll find also very welcoming and any questions you have will normally be answered .
No always means no remember it's your choice and yours only if you want to participate and if you ever feel uncomfortable the club workers will always be around you just need to speak to any of us I hope this helps and happy to answer any queries via pm x |
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Our advice is do some research into the club you want to go to and the night you want to go on. All clubs have very different vibes, very different set ups and vary hugely in style, ambience and... dare I say standards and hygiene. Once you’ve picked a club you like research the night you want to go. Depending ‘what’ you want will dictate what night you go. Clubs have theme nights, single guy nights, no single guy nights etc... again each has a very different vibe and attract people looking for different things.
For us, Choose the ‘right’ club and you’ll find the rest relatively easy  |
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"Clubs are lovely friendly safe places, you’ll be just fine. When they reopen the opening nights will be busy with us singletons I suspect!
Choose the night and club that you think best suits you and when you go tell them you’re nee and you’ll get a fully guided tour and the rules explained some clubs will also introduce you to some of the regulars so that you’re not like a rabbit in headlights,
As has already been said if you say no then it means no and most guys will respect that the odd few that don’t then just have a word with staff but in my experience you’ll find others that will actually tell the guy that you’ve said no and it means no and they then back off into their little corner again. If you think you’d be more comfortable going to a club with someone I’d happily join you but you’d need to hop over the Pennines.
Feel free to pm me with any questions I’m more than happy to help xx"
Do I get the same offer?  |
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"Clubs are lovely friendly safe places, you’ll be just fine. When they reopen the opening nights will be busy with us singletons I suspect!
Choose the night and club that you think best suits you and when you go tell them you’re nee and you’ll get a fully guided tour and the rules explained some clubs will also introduce you to some of the regulars so that you’re not like a rabbit in headlights,
As has already been said if you say no then it means no and most guys will respect that the odd few that don’t then just have a word with staff but in my experience you’ll find others that will actually tell the guy that you’ve said no and it means no and they then back off into their little corner again. If you think you’d be more comfortable going to a club with someone I’d happily join you but you’d need to hop over the Pennines.
Feel free to pm me with any questions I’m more than happy to help xx
Do I get the same offer? "
Ha ha stranger you sure do! |
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"Clubs are lovely friendly safe places, you’ll be just fine. When they reopen the opening nights will be busy with us singletons I suspect!
Choose the night and club that you think best suits you and when you go tell them you’re nee and you’ll get a fully guided tour and the rules explained some clubs will also introduce you to some of the regulars so that you’re not like a rabbit in headlights,
As has already been said if you say no then it means no and most guys will respect that the odd few that don’t then just have a word with staff but in my experience you’ll find others that will actually tell the guy that you’ve said no and it means no and they then back off into their little corner again. If you think you’d be more comfortable going to a club with someone I’d happily join you but you’d need to hop over the Pennines.
Feel free to pm me with any questions I’m more than happy to help xx
Do I get the same offer?
Ha ha stranger you sure do!"
Pm me x |
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"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please! "
I would not go alone as a woman.
There will be a lot of zombies following you anywhere you go.
Better option would be to meet someone her and maybe setup meeting in the club.
To clear expectation, I would meet with a couple or another woman, because if you setup a meeting with a man, he will think that he will for sure have a sex with you. I’m telling this as a male part of our profile. |
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"Hi!
Please be kind as I'm still finding my feet a bit in this crazy world!
So the real question is what do I do about approaching the club scene as a single girl?
Is it safe?
Should I go alone? Id be happy to but would it be considered weird?
Do I need to go with someone who can show me the ropes?!
Do I just sit at the bar, do I just approach anyone I feel like and ask to join them?
Send all your help and experiences please! "
Single women at clubs are ten a penny. You’ll probably just get ignored, if anyone can be bothered to do that. Yep you’ll be viewed like a freak. Just another “can’t get or keep a boyfriend type” However if you are very lucky some guys might take pity on you and let you suck them off.
Sound ridiculous? Yes of course. We have chatted to some amazing single women at clubs. They are some of the most interesting people you will ever ever ever meet. A woman in charge of what the fuck she wants to do is always gonna be great. Apart from Margret thatcher, she can fuck off. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It's natural to be a bit nervous your first time. If that time is good, then it's a lot easier to come back.
The first few times I went to a club, I planned to have a social night. Just be there, meet people, chat, start to get comfortable there. Having a wander around and seeing everything that was going on was good too
Women have their own extra intimidating. Depending on the club and the night, it's not guaranteed that you'll have the wanking dead following you around, although there is a good chance.
But if you go with the intention of not playing, it's going to be much easier. And once it's a familiar place you can get into the fun stuff |
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By *ohn1953Man
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
"It's natural to be a bit nervous your first time. If that time is good, then it's a lot easier to come back.
The first few times I went to a club, I planned to have a social night. Just be there, meet people, chat, start to get comfortable there. Having a wander around and seeing everything that was going on was good too
Women have their own extra intimidating. Depending on the club and the night, it's not guaranteed that you'll have the wanking dead following you around, although there is a good chance.
But if you go with the intention of not playing, it's going to be much easier. And once it's a familiar place you can get into the fun stuff"
Are you one of the wanking dead as you put it. I been to lots of clubs and cinema and yes you will get guys walking around because they are hopping they get to watch someone playing and like me I been asked to join a couple or a single lady, but you have to say to them, most guys do as asked .. I was lucky on my first meet, I was socialising at the bar with a single lady and later asked me to join her on the open beds and yes other guys and a couple watched us, then later that night a couple was playing on the beds while me and other guys and couples watched them, then I asked if I could join them and they said yes, and before long two others couples joined us but told the other guys to just watch and that’s what they did. But that was one very good first time at a club. |
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Reading your responses to people's replies to you I'd say you'd be 100% at ease at a club as you definitely seem to be approaching it with the right mindset.
If you are OK chatting to just anybody & everybody then do that, if you see someone you want to talk to then just say hi. Worst that will happen is you'll get a polite brush off if they aren't in a chatty mood.
The club scene is super safe, pretty much everyone looks out for each other, I know on occasions I've told guys that what they're doing isn't acceptable and/or looked on favourably. Everyone is there to have fun & for that to happen the atmosphere needs to be right, people won't see that spoilt.
I've never been to a club where the staff tolerate anything, something makes you feel uncomfortable tell them and it will be sorted instantly.
I love the club scene, miss it so much. Most people leave both egos and pretence at the door, if you can handle the normal nightclub crowd then a swingers club is going to be like a petting zoo, you might even get to play with the animals |
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"I'm so relieved to have found this thread. I'm a single woman also but the idea of going alone is a little daunting to be fair"
I know most of the clubs you'd probably be interested in going to from Bristol so if you ever want any information just pm me and I'll go through everything with, happy to help.
Most are good for someone like how your profile comes across on a least certain nights.
Normally I'd pm but reading your profile suggests you'd not want me to do that
The offer is always there |
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