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By *asyGent75 OP Man
over a year ago
Doncaster South Yorkshire |
Now I’ve been separated for over a year I have decided and want to venture to a club for the first time. Here’s the thing, I’m not the kind of person to go speak to someone unknown as I do not know what to say. So is this a good idea for me, hey if someone comes speak to me I’m not ignorant I will talk and have a good conversation. Does this make sense? |
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Makes total sense to me (Mr). One of my anxieties is that people may think I'm ignorant or don't like them if I don't speak to them or I miss the signals. I can be socially awkward and being on the spectrum (which I seem to hide with some success) doesn't help because I can miss social queues and miss-read people. Which has in the past made me adverse to opening conversations with new people despite loving good conversation. I started on the swinging scene as a single male likewise post separation. Your really going to struggle enjoying and being active in clubs if you do initiate conversations. You have to be brave and just talk to folk (taking into account the vibe and situation). It's a skill that to many is natural but it really does get better the more you expose your self to it. And you may have set backs, no thanks and awkward moments but most people are lovely and polite (providing your respectful and pleasant). It's just part of the course and helps you to learn. Once you get good reading people and opening conversations you'll find the clubs environment great fun. So as long as your willing to push your comfort zone and actively seek to engage go. I get how difficult and daunting it is but you really do need to push yourself a bit if you want to get the best out of it.
Oh and how ever easy and tempting it is to just join the ranks of men aimlessly walking around from room to room, DON'T. Be your own man and do your own thing. It will help you to push your to get better at introductions, get you better noticed and get you more respect from those you wish to entice. |
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By *asyGent75 OP Man
over a year ago
Doncaster South Yorkshire |
"Makes total sense to me (Mr). One of my anxieties is that people may think I'm ignorant or don't like them if I don't speak to them or I miss the signals. I can be socially awkward and being on the spectrum (which I seem to hide with some success) doesn't help because I can miss social queues and miss-read people. Which has in the past made me adverse to opening conversations with new people despite loving good conversation. I started on the swinging scene as a single male likewise post separation. Your really going to struggle enjoying and being active in clubs if you do initiate conversations. You have to be brave and just talk to folk (taking into account the vibe and situation). It's a skill that to many is natural but it really does get better the more you expose your self to it. And you may have set backs, no thanks and awkward moments but most people are lovely and polite (providing your respectful and pleasant). It's just part of the course and helps you to learn. Once you get good reading people and opening conversations you'll find the clubs environment great fun. So as long as your willing to push your comfort zone and actively seek to engage go. I get how difficult and daunting it is but you really do need to push yourself a bit if you want to get the best out of it.
Oh and how ever easy and tempting it is to just join the ranks of men aimlessly walking around from room to room, DON'T. Be your own man and do your own thing. It will help you to push your to get better at introductions, get you better noticed and get you more respect from those you wish to entice."
I shall take this advice onboard many thanks, now to start looking into which type of establishment to go |
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