FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > feel disgusted

feel disgusted

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i agreed to meet a fab member at adam and eves tonight, its the first night i have actually been to the place properly, last time i was too late and just got a quick show around of the place, well i can definitely say this club is not for me!!!!

as soon as i got in i just felt like i was being hounded, didnt even feel comfortable enough to get in the jacuzzi because the army of followers all jumped in ready like i was a piece of meat, then my meet who i was going to play with suggested that we go into a private room which was all good until the army of followers were ready to jump in too, then when we came out the guys had there ears to the door wanking... WTFFFF!!!

has anyone else had a crap experience or is it just me? and to be honest i dont really care if i get the adam and eves brigade inboxing me hate messages everyone is entitled to there own opinion and this is mine!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly the reason why I wouldn't go to a club in a million years! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i usually meet in clubs, cupid and amour usually but tonight my meet wanted to go there... im always up for giving places a chance but that was just a joke, couldnt wait to get out, x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Exactly the reason why I wouldn't go to a club in a million years! X"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you mention this to the staff?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

the staff were part of the problem as soon as i walked through the door the woman behind the desk was in my face really loud "are u here for *****"? then she shouts him really loud, in front of everyone, i walk off to get changed come and sit down and she walks in and says why u both sat there dont u know she wants a fuck!!!

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Last time we went to a club this happened. As we went upstairs with a couple of other couples we knew, the whole place moved with us. I felt uncomfortable and like I was expected to perform and it really unsettled me. At parties and on other meets I always feel ok and am usually a confident person when I play but that night really put me off. I dont think it was particularly the club, as id had great nights there, I put it down to the guys that happened to be there that night. I haven't been to a club since, and partly because of that night. I am hoping it was a one off.

Ms N

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the staff were part of the problem as soon as i walked through the door the woman behind the desk was in my face really loud "are u here for *****"? then she shouts him really loud, in front of everyone, i walk off to get changed come and sit down and she walks in and says why u both sat there dont u know she wants a fuck!!!

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!"

Oh my god!!!! Poor you. Can i just ask why you didn't leave then and there? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Last time we went to a club this happened. As we went upstairs with a couple of other couples we knew, the whole place moved with us. I felt uncomfortable and like I was expected to perform and it really unsettled me. At parties and on other meets I always feel ok and am usually a confident person when I play but that night really put me off. I dont think it was particularly the club, as id had great nights there, I put it down to the guys that happened to be there that night. I haven't been to a club since, and partly because of that night. I am hoping it was a one off.

Ms N

im a regualr at cupids and at amour, i usually love the club scene but tonight has really shaken me, iv come home full of anger, im furious at the whole situation to be honest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!"

Ive never come across that in other clubs. Exactly the opposite. Ive never been there so dont know what there etiquette is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

Oh my god!!!! Poor you. Can i just ask why you didn't leave then and there? X

i felt really awkward and i wanted to at least explain to my meet somewhere quiet why i wanted to leave i just didnt want to get up and go, seen as he paid full single male price to get in. felt a bit sorry for him, and he was actually really embarrassed could see it in his face

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

This has happened to us at a couple of clubs which we no longer go to. The club we do go to has all open rooms and I feel more able to duck off if they come too close, or better still, as it is a bi event, that they can play with me if they suck my bf cock first. Usually does the trick. We did try following the multitude at close range to see how they liked it - we just don't play at that type of club now. Spoils it. For everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

Ive never come across that in other clubs. Exactly the opposite. Ive never been there so dont know what there etiquette is. "

every club iv been to has been great but this tonight has really made me upset, never had this problem anywhere before except there tonight

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

I've had a similar experience there.

I was hounded in the jacuzzi. I went as a single female. It was the second club I'd been to. It was daytime and I was the only female in. I was in the jacuzzi with three other men all touching me despite me telling them no. More men arrived and couldn't fit in the jacuzzi so they stood round watching me and wanking.

I ended up escaping with the only guy there that seemed to have some manners and went off for private play. I felt pressured to go and play to escape the pushy men who were all way above my usual age range that I'd be interested in.

Anyway, we played in a room. Mid session, part of the wall fell off.

Anyway, out we came and made our way downstairs. To the men all gathered at the bar/reception area. The man I'd been with walked out first to cat calls and whistles. And them all saying 'well played mate' ' did you fuck her good etc'

I walked out, and got more yayys and cheers to a member of staff, who this was happening in front, of laughing. One of the men in the crowd said 'we've all been watching you get fucked on camera...... Only joking.' And them all laughing again. Then another saying.... 'Or are we joking?' The members of staff were part of this group.

I was mortified. I got dressed and left. The man I was with was mortified too.

Never again will I step foot in the place.

I don't care if anyone from A&E contacts me. I know their supporters and usually quite... Ferocious.

I've spoken with other staff there about the incident. To which they have offered me the chance to return and give it another go under their watchful eye. I declined.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I completely understand where ur coming from and its my guess others will have had the same happen in other clubs too.

However, your experience has put me off ever going there!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

sounds alot like my experience except i didnt get the chance to play, i didnt get in the hottub i just felt hounded it was seedy and disgusting. would never return even if i was paid to, and to be honest i dont care what there army of followers have to say to me, we cant all be wrong about the place can we? i seriously feel sick with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

Ive never come across that in other clubs. Exactly the opposite. Ive never been there so dont know what there etiquette is.

every club iv been to has been great but this tonight has really made me upset, never had this problem anywhere before except there tonight"

Ive never been to a club, was on my list of things to do, but this has put me right off. Sounds really scary and surely the behaviour of the staff member needed reporting at the time to the owners.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

Ive never come across that in other clubs. Exactly the opposite. Ive never been there so dont know what there etiquette is.

every club iv been to has been great but this tonight has really made me upset, never had this problem anywhere before except there tonight

Ive never been to a club, was on my list of things to do, but this has put me right off. Sounds really scary and surely the behaviour of the staff member needed reporting at the time to the owners.

they probably were the owners, not every club is like this, my usual clubs are brilliant, but that was on another level, never again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have attended Clubs as a single fem and also as part of a couple. The last Club we went to was a daytime one. The single guys outnumbered single women by roughly 8 to 1, maybe more. There were quite a few couples which meant the couples area was packed. My fwb and I went into the hot tub and we were just chatting, when I can feel an extra hand starting to grope me. Without so much as a 'hi, my name is G, can I stick my fingers in your pussy' he was trying to finger me. Got out of the tub and started to play on one of the beds; next thing I know is that we are surrounded and guys are groping me. We go back to the couples only area and there is no space at all, except the floor, so we go to the bar, have a drink and wait for some couples to leave so we can go in to play. We would have liked to have found a couple to chat to and see if we could have played together, but the hounding of single fems and couples by single guys was very off -putting and meant that couples just stayed in the couples-only play area until they were ready to leave.

The problem seems to be that single guys have to pay more than couples to get in and there seems to be an expectation of playing coz they've paid. I blame the organisers, they should monitor the ratios of fems to guys and keep it realistic, but they make money out of the single guys and don't seem to care if girls feel hassled and guys frustrated, which is a shame. I prefer private parties, there is less hassle as most people attending are known to the people organising them.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

Oh my dear god!! I would suggest you put together a considered letter together to the owners and explain your experience to give them the chance to have some open dialogue with you and listen to your concerns.

I would be mortified if someone felt this way in our place, so defo give the owners a chance to listen to you; if nothing comes of it, you tried xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never actually heard anything good about Adam and Eve's and that's from people who been.......usually just once

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are a lot of people that are pro clubs and it's like the first thing they say, get to a club to anyone new who is struggling for meets. Whilst I trust the horrible experiences discussed here are not common it does put one off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh my dear god!! I would suggest you put together a considered letter together to the owners and explain your experience to give them the chance to have some open dialogue with you and listen to your concerns.

I would be mortified if someone felt this way in our place, so defo give the owners a chance to listen to you; if nothing comes of it, you tried xx"

Im just thinking about writing them one, I like to give places a chance but that was just disgusting tonight from members and staff x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The thing is going to a club as a single woman you have to be able to stand up for yourself

Men will follow you about but its upto you to tell them to fuck off

Firstly I politely tell them to stop following me about, touching me etc, second I give a firm I've told you once, if I have to say it again I get a bit verbally abusive that usually does the trick

If your not the type of women to do this then you have two choices put up with it or stop going

And before anyone says we shoulsnt have to go to them lengths or put up with it I agree but we do that's just how some clubs are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been toying with the idea of going to a club and a and e being one of them and I have to say that is one of the things that was worrying me .. The general etiquette supposedly in place being completely ignored.

It sure sounds extremely off putting and very out of order.

Hope you feel better about it soon. Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!

Ive never come across that in other clubs. Exactly the opposite. Ive never been there so dont know what there etiquette is.

every club iv been to has been great but this tonight has really made me upset, never had this problem anywhere before except there tonight

Ive never been to a club, was on my list of things to do, but this has put me right off. Sounds really scary and surely the behaviour of the staff member needed reporting at the time to the owners.

they probably were the owners, not every club is like this, my usual clubs are brilliant, but that was on another level, never again "

If they were, then that makes it worse in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tend to go to smaller venues, seems to be more monitored there.

And as for the single men paying a high price to get in and so expecting sex ... it's ridiculous, yes clubs make money off the single guys but as a single female I know I would be more than happy to pay a charge for entrance if it reduced the number of single males some places allow in. For my safety and to feel comfortable there is no price.

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

"I've been toying with the idea of going to a club and a and e being one of them and I have to say that is one of the things that was worrying me .. The general etiquette supposedly in place being completely ignored.

It sure sounds extremely off putting and very out of order.

Hope you feel better about it soon. Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.

In fairness, most of the clubs are great. Especially if you're a single female. Just tell them beforehand that you're going and you're a bit nervous and they go out of their way to welcome you.

Best for attending alone are Townhouse, Partners and Amour. Have a look at their reviews and speak to the clubs. Don't let our one bad experience at a venue out you off. Like the OP. I've attended loads of clubs and it's usually fine.

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

"The thing is going to a club as a single woman you have to be able to stand up for yourself

Men will follow you about but its upto you to tell them to fuck off

Firstly I politely tell them to stop following me about, touching me etc, second I give a firm I've told you once, if I have to say it again I get a bit verbally abusive that usually does the trick

If your not the type of women to do this then you have two choices put up with it or stop going

And before anyone says we shoulsnt have to go to them lengths or put up with it I agree but we do that's just how some clubs are

I disagree. I stick up for myself and say no. I say no a few times then I go to staff. Staff usually deal with it then swiftly. I'm not about to start getting aggravated with some fella (or woman, because that's happened before) for touching me uninvited. I won't put up with it. I shouldn't be expected to put up with it. And if the members don't listen, I expect staff to support me. I also form believe I shouldn't attend clubs because I object to being touched uninvited.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

We have only been to the Vanilla Alternative and have had a great time there. Its sad that the OP has had a bad time at one particular club and I think its sad that it is putting people off clubs in general (not a criticism of the OP). I guess just ask around on the forums which are the good ones and the bad ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

look at all the single guys who ask for advice on the forums and every single one is told to "go to a club" to get known!

after reading about a women on here recently who also went to a club and was mounted whilst giving her oh a bj, after saying NO to all advances from single guys, certainly put me off going!

sorry your day was ruined but nice to hear what it's really like for some couples. best of luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This puts me off going to clubs. Some of the guys who go to them do come off as pushy on here and manipulative. At least on here all they can do is only try and talk you onto stuff and have no chance of forcing themselves onto me.

I think i'd never go on my own first time, i'd have a female friend come with me or a guy from here who i trust. Even then it looks like that might not make the experience any better.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never actually heard anything good about Adam and Eve's and that's from people who been.......usually just once "

To be honest we are regular club goers.. and had heard all the bad things but recently tried it.

WE have to say that the staff when we were there were very chatty and funny... but we have had bad experiences at other clubs and when we mentioned it got shot down... Beccause the regulars disagreed..

FOr instance I have had several experiences similar to the OP at chams... and yet most would defend it to the hilt... Yet I find most times there if I am alone for whatever reason... you have to be very brash with the single guys.

I would as suggested write a letter... I would never right a club off on one visit though... Even the ones I didnt like I try again at different times.. as a club is only as good as the people in it.

And before we get jumped on for being Fans.. in the past 6 weeks we have been to chams, cupids, isis , paradise and adam and eves... So do not really hold any loyalty to anywhere..

yet were so impressed the first time we went to adam and eves that we had gone back a 2nd and 3rd time within the week..* however both the 2nd and 3rd times we went it was daytime and quite quiet. xx

I am always happy to tell the staff what my issue is... and if I felt hounded I would tell the guys..

And I would think it would be wrong if you got grief for expressing your opinion..

Although I know it happens as we have had it ourselves for either saying we thought somewhere was great... Or bring up a complaint about somewhere that how dare we slate it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"look at all the single guys who ask for advice on the forums and every single one is told to "go to a club" to get known!

after reading about a women on here recently who also went to a club and was mounted whilst giving her oh a bj, after saying NO to all advances from single guys, certainly put me off going!

sorry your day was ruined but nice to hear what it's really like for some couples. best of luck

True. I used to advice guys who can't get meets but now i'm just thinking if they're that shit at getting meets then they probably for a reason and it's coz they aren't socially adept.

I never put hoops on my profile for one reason too, because you get guys being what you want to get a meet with you, and really you should let them be themselves coz if they are not what you want then the meet is gonna be crap with them as well, so why bother telling them how to get to you when they aren't what you want anyway?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have only been to the Vanilla Alternative and have had a great time there. Its sad that the OP has had a bad time at one particular club and I think its sad that it is putting people off clubs in general (not a criticism of the OP). I guess just ask around on the forums which are the good ones and the bad ones."

I agree not all clubs are like this iv been to a few but this has really taken the Mickey. One bad experience isnt going to put me off returning to clubs but I think its going to take me a while to feel 100% comfortable again x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It sure sounds extremely off putting and very out of order.

Hope you feel better about it soon. Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.

In fairness, most of the clubs are great. Especially if you're a single female. Just tell them beforehand that you're going and you're a bit nervous and they go out of their way to welcome you.

Thanks yes I think research is key here I will have a look at the club's you mentioned. For the bad experiences there also is a lot of positive reviews so a lot of it i imagine is down to who's there on any particular night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It sure sounds extremely off putting and very out of order.

Hope you feel better about it soon. Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.

In fairness, most of the clubs are great. Especially if you're a single female. Just tell them beforehand that you're going and you're a bit nervous and they go out of their way to welcome you.

I thought that myself so thought id give it a try but seems most of the reviews are from staff or friends of staff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!"

ewww that is not classy....not a nice club!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we have been to a few clubs and only one we wouldnt go back to but not for those kind of reasons just because it wasnt our scene - we have never been to adam and eves so cannot comment from personal experience but have never had anything but a fantastic time anywhere else - you have been to other clubs and had a blast so just avoid the places you dont like and as much as tonight upset you dont let ut ruin your clubtime for the future - just as an extra thought did your meet stand up for you at all - i know if anybody spoke to us like that W would have hit the roof - hope youre ok x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/04/15 00:25:45]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"we have been to a few clubs and only one we wouldnt go back to but not for those kind of reasons just because it wasnt our scene - we have never been to adam and eves so cannot comment from personal experience but have never had anything but a fantastic time anywhere else - you have been to other clubs and had a blast so just avoid the places you dont like and as much as tonight upset you dont let ut ruin your clubtime for the future - just as an extra thought did your meet stand up for you at all - i know if anybody spoke to us like that W would have hit the roof - hope youre ok x"

Thanks hun im ok now iv calmed down, my neet felt really awkward his face said it all and he kept apologizing to me, I think he said something to them before I was dressed because the staff just handed me my stuff and said bye. Which I was glad of because I couldn't wait to get out x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

for the staff to be as rude, or in this case, more rude, than its clientele is out of order....I would report the member of staff....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*meet

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

"The thing is going to a club as a single woman you have to be able to stand up for yourself

Men will follow you about but its upto you to tell them to fuck off

Firstly I politely tell them to stop following me about, touching me etc, second I give a firm I've told you once, if I have to say it again I get a bit verbally abusive that usually does the trick

If your not the type of women to do this then you have two choices put up with it or stop going

And before anyone says we shoulsnt have to go to them lengths or put up with it I agree but we do that's just how some clubs are

I will tell guys to duck off totally if they touch without asking or if they ask my bf if they can play with me. I suggest they suck his cock before okaying with me and that usually has them running for the hills. The other evening at a club the bf was playing with a guy and I was chatting to a friend (male) and some Nutter actually asked him if he could play with me. I do get very annoyed when they feel they can just touch and it totally spoils the moment for me, so I make sure their moment is spoilt too. Only problem I get is then other guys come and ask me to shout abuse at them too as they like it so much. My response? Only if I can slap you ....

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

had a bad exp at 101 years ago when they first ever tryed friday mixed night us the only cpl in and about 30 odd guys i went to toilet was 5 mins come back to about 12 men sitting round the mrs no speaking just sitting watching

had a fella use the jets in partners try to hide the fact he was touching the mrs we used to bit quiet but now the mrs has no fear of telling them where to gan

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"for the staff to be as rude, or in this case, more rude, than its clientele is out of order....I would report the member of staff...."

Im going to contact the owners ... hopefully she wasn't one of them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been to Adam and eves a couple of times, don't know if it was the same member of staff but I found one to be very loud, crude and obnoxious, haven't been for a while

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Men AND women have both been known to touch without asking, I think that everyone need to know what is acceptable and what isn't .

Although I agree in the real world that women have to be strong enough to tell a man to back off and stop being creepy, I would much prefer it if the guy just knew enough not to be creepy in the first place.

I wouldn't be too hard on the people who ask permission from the wrong person. Generally within swinging its best to ask the person you want to play with, but within a dom/sub relationship it would be the other way round, and I have heard that in poly relationships either way and either be right or wrong!

If people ask me if they can play with my wife, I will usually tell them to ask her, but if I know that she definitely wouldn't be interested then I will say No on her behalf.

Also within swinging it might be that someone "has their mouth full" or is "otherwise engaged" so there it can be a bit of a grey area as to who to ask.

But asking permission, even from the wrong person, is much better than "grab what you can before they tell you to stop"

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By *luemeanie69Man over a year ago

north/south

I've been to clubs all over the world and quite a few in the UK. Always as a single male. Whilst some clubs are obviously better than others the one thing I always see is the pied piper affect where all the single men follow the good looking couple/woman around.

Many nights I've been to clubs and not played at all because I won't join the conga line that follows. Quite often I've been watching some play only for a man to just stand right in front of me even when there's little room wanking away being very predatory. There is a lack of respect and manners from an awful lot of single males. Not all, of course, but in my travels and experience it is sadly the majority and only a good club owner can keep it in check.

One of the worst things for me is when I go to a club and find a plethora of other single males because that usually means the sad dance of watching them follow the few women around. Clubs should have much stricter limits on ratios. Far too often I think they'd rather take the cash and have more SM's in than worry about the comfort of their female guests.

But, for the OP, you have to have these bad experiences so know which are the good clubs and which to avoid. Clearly you'll never return to the one in question. So chalk it up to experience.

Having been to a few around the world I have to say the best I've ever been to was Club Wicked in Toronto. If you're even in the city, and it's still open (my visit was a few years ago now) you must try it. Fabulous venue. Great cocktails. And the swingers of Toronto are very attractive!

Ultimately the club is all about the people who are there. A good crowd can make a poor club a great night and equally a bad experience with some frantic SM can make a decadent club seem awful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Men AND women have both been known to touch without asking, I think that everyone need to know what is acceptable and what isn't .

If people ask me if they can play with my wife, I will usually tell them to ask her, but if I know that she definitely wouldn't be interested then I will say No on her behalf.

Also within swinging it might be that someone "has their mouth full" or is "otherwise engaged" so there it can be a bit of a grey area as to who to ask.

But asking permission, even from the wrong person, is much better than "grab what you can before they tell you to stop""

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By *unkydesignCouple over a year ago

Manchester

We have had the conga line following us around in clubs to the point where she was coming to the loo with him to avoid being pestered. Clubs like that only get our money once as we never return.

We're all in favour of clubs limiting the amount of single males on certain nights. One club we return to often is No3 as they only allow 2 or 3 in per night and strictly vet them. Any nonsense and they're ejected and never allowed back. Not the ideal situation for some folks but it suits us fine for what we're looking for.

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By *teed99Man over a year ago

Kettering

Although I started my swingers clubs experience at Adam and Eve's more years ago than I care to remember, the OP's report is indicating that a lot has changed over the years.

Currently I am a weekly visitor to The Vanilla Alternative and the situation there could not be more different. The massive hot tub and surrounding open play areas allow everyone to see what is going on. Single guy numbers on a Friday night are strictly controlled and generally everyone is very respectful. If anyone over steps the mark, which is most unusual, they are made aware, in no uncertain terms, of their error. This is how clubs should be; a good experience for everyone both whilst socialising and when things go further.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have had the conga line following us around in clubs to the point where she was coming to the loo with him to avoid being pestered. Clubs like that only get our money once as we never return.

our favourite club is no 3 - and you are spot on about the single males there - we never play with single men but over time have got to know by sight and passing banter the ones that attend and they never put a foot out of place - means everybody is relaxed - fantastic place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or you could go on a couples only night?

What do you expect single guys are doing at swingers clubs?They are there looking for fun with ladies n couples.if that's not for you go on a couples only night.they aren't allowed in on couples nights.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or you could go on a couples only night?

What do I expect? I expect single men to be civil and polite when dealing with other humans. Especially if they want to have sex with them.

Why does wanting a fuck excuse the bad behaviour?

What if you don't want to play with couples or women, what if you want to play with men?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been to a few clubs as a single female.... Every one ive felt comfy withexcept A&E . HORRIBLE place...dirty filthy scruffy place. Staff were loud n unprofessional. Never again wld i go here.

Any lady reading amd commenting on this thread please dont be put off going to a club. Try cupids first im sure you will feel at ease here. I cld walk in there and sit at the bar and have a freindly chat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Although I started my swingers clubs experience at Adam and Eve's more years ago than I care to remember, the OP's report is indicating that a lot has changed over the years.

Blimey a post where you don't mention that it's a family run club!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fucking hell, bad shit that D, hope you're alright, i have never been there and won't be going there now, you should stick to cupids where you know we are respectful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or you could go on a couples only night?

What do I expect? I expect single men to be civil and polite when dealing with other humans. Especially if they want to have sex with them.

Why does wanting a fuck excuse the bad behaviour?

What if you don't want to play with couples or women, what if you want to play with men?"

Who says you have to play with them,at clubs you only play when you want with whom you want.

These guys are going on their own,they no more want loads of other guys there than you do,but that's how it is.perhaps they feel if they don't get to play perhaps they will get to watch.how the hell would I know what goes through their heads?

All I suggested was if you don't want this sort of thing,go on a couples only night.

And btw,what bad behaviour? From what I read,and have seen at clubs,some guys follow couples in the hope of some fun,I have never experienced ed bad behaviour.if we go in a private room we close the door,if it's an open room we simply say no to those that don't interest us.never had a problem n never experienced bad behaviour.Maybe you just attract the wrong sort

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or you could go on a couples only night?

What do I expect? I expect single men to be civil and polite when dealing with other humans. Especially if they want to have sex with them.

Why does wanting a fuck excuse the bad behaviour?

What if you don't want to play with couples or women, what if you want to play with men?

Who says you have to play with them,at clubs you only play when you want with whom you want.

All I suggested was if you don't want this sort of thing,go on a couples only night.

I was referencing the bad behaviour in the OP's post here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We had basically the same experience with hoards of guys trailing around line lost puppies. Put us off ever going again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Exactly the reason why I wouldn't go to a club in a million years! X"

Most clubs aren't anything like that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Exactly the reason why I wouldn't go to a club in a million years! X

Most clubs aren't anything like that"
no some are worse!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If somebody touches you inappropriately with out your consent isn't that sexual assault,just because your in a club does not give a person the right to touch you with out your say so,you wouldn't put up with it in your local pub so why let them get away with it in a club.im not saying you should break fingers or anything but atleast get the pervs kicked out of the club and banned

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you ask the OP I'm sure she will agree most clubs are not like that and this was one club, a new club which she had not been to before

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If somebody touches you inappropriately with out your consent isn't that sexual assault,just because your in a club does not give a person the right to touch you with out your say so,you wouldn't put up with it in your local pub so why let them get away with it in a club.im not saying you should break fingers or anything but atleast get the pervs kicked out of the club and banned "

I always make sure I let people know that's actually sexual assault if they touch me inappropriately. Usually I get told 'you won't get laid with an attitude like that' but I'm ok with having that attitude.

I also say the same thing to guys who message me with touchy/rapey comments on here. 'If you actually did that to me I'd call the police' etc.

Perhaps one day people will learn to keep their hands to themselves, and that being in a sex club doesn't mean you want to be touched by everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also say the same thing to guys who message me with touchy/rapey comments on here. 'If you actually did that to me I'd call the police' etc.

Perhaps one day people will learn to keep their hands to themselves, and that being in a sex club doesn't mean you want to be touched by everyone."

totally agree with you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!"

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By *tripper9Man over a year ago

Blackburn

I guess the OP still wants to like going to decent clubs, and have a nice time, choosing who to play with, and those she chooses not to play with.

A bit like a house party, great guests can make a party.

A great venue can help a party, but a bad party is still a bad party.

In my experience not all clubs are the same, there are still plenty of good ones out there, try not to let this bad experience spoil any future fun!

_tripper9

Xxx

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

For all the slating of single guys. I've been inappropriately touched by women at clubs. And by males that were there as part of a couple. It's not all about single guys.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

"Although I started my swingers clubs experience at Adam and Eve's more years ago than I care to remember, the OP's report is indicating that a lot has changed over the years.

Blimey a post where you don't mention that it's a family run club!

So I wasn't the only one who noticed it then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For all the slating of single guys. I've been inappropriately touched by women at clubs. And by males that were there as part of a couple. It's not all about single guys. "

man or woman its still wrong and and sexual assault,we wouldn't stand for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all positive comments iv written a letter of complaint to the club which im going to drop off later today, hopefully they will take this serious ... although I doubt they will if the woman who was working last night is a owner but I can still try

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am sure it's will put a lot off going to the club your post op .. But some woman would love loads of men ready for sex .. So may go as that's what they are after .. But maybe to over the top and full on for you .. Mail the club and tell them how you was made to feel and say about the woman on the bar who was making you feel bad saying stuff and was out of order doing that. See what they say ..be nice to know what they say .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Although I started my swingers clubs experience at Adam and Eve's more years ago than I care to remember, the OP's report is indicating that a lot has changed over the years.

The one time we went to VA on a Friday there were single men on the beds in the first room, not playing with anyone just hogging them. Meaning that to use a bed you had to ask them to vacate it. I assume that they hoped that it would lead to an invite to join in. So we played in the area by the pool and most of them moved to the pool to watch.

Not as bad as the behaviour in the opening post but still annoying and enough to mean we'll only go back on a Saturday now.

I only mention this for balance while some clubs are worse than others (there is another south east club we only go to on a day time) all clubs potentially have bad nights depending on who comes through the door.

It's also true that the worst behaviour we have ever seen in a club was at VA and they were very slow ti deal with it. If they are so strict on the poor behaviour of men it is a shame that from what we once witnessed they seem far moee accepting of it from women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am sure it's will put a lot off going to the club your post op .. But some woman would love loads of men ready for sex .. So may go as that's what they are after .. But maybe to over the top and full on for you .. Mail the club and tell them how you was made to feel and say about the woman on the bar who was making you feel bad saying stuff and was out of order doing that. See what they say ..be nice to know what they say ."

I dont have a problem with how many men they are its just about them respecting boundaries and not thinking I was just there for them all to groap at and hover around constantly, its really not a nice place or situation to be in. The one and only time iv felt unsafe whilst swinging, every other club iv been to has been great but even the staff here were as bad as the men in there. Will definitely stick to my usual spots from now on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread highlights the worthlessness of the club review section on fab . Anyone else noticed this ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This thread highlights the worthlessness of the club review section on fab . Anyone else noticed this ?"

I have just left a review on there for my experience, although im waiting for the load of hate mail to start

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread highlights the worthlessness of the club review section on fab . Anyone else noticed this ?

I have just left a review on there for my experience, although im waiting for the load of hate mail to start"

Good luck , and well done for being honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread highlights the worthlessness of the club review section on fab . Anyone else noticed this ?

I have just left a review on there for my experience, although im waiting for the load of hate mail to start"
we'll done more should do that I feel about the clubs so they can work on sorting things out. Will make for better clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or you could go on a couples only night?

What do I expect? I expect single men to be civil and polite when dealing with other humans. Especially if they want to have sex with them.

Why does wanting a fuck excuse the bad behaviour?

What if you don't want to play with couples or women, what if you want to play with men?"

Exactly this. Thetr is no excuse for it to be any other way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its a real shame you experienced this and also a shame the club owners havent been on this thread to apologise or get in touch to make amends.

Both us and the club we hold our event at take matters like this very seriously as do most of the other clubs. We do hope it doesnt put you off clubs as the majority are excellent and well policed.

Good luck with your letter etc and lets hope the club in question take action and deal with it appropriately.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look it is your choice and if the experience was bad and staff didn't help then explain to club owners and forget about the hate mails..report and block..

We do not go to two specific clubs because even as a couple were harassed by single guys.

It always boils down to staff, if staff don't care the clubs not worth it. We go to one club just outside Manchester and had a situation reported it to door staff and 3 minutes later the guy causing the problem was marched out...

So like Townhouse posting said.. it boils down to the staff and quality of the staff... Please don't let such an experience like that put you off the good clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

never felt more embarrassed in my life or disgusted!"

That's terrible ! X

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By *radleyandRavenCouple over a year ago

Herts

Would a simple loud "Seriously, guys, fuck off!" not have worked?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What you should do is take some laxative. Let them come and hound you in the jacuzzi then whip off your knicks and shit in it. That will make them disperse. I'd like to go to a club but I hear so many horror stories so no thanks and I'm a bloke

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By *obka3Couple over a year ago

bournemouth

couldnt there be a sort colour code neck band or something for people to wear that would signal that you musst ask before touching or that a quick feel is ok without asking etc, we are going to a club for the first time this wk and I have concerns now that the wife will get pestered being "new meat" and someone may get belted, I love watching and joining in when she plays but wont have her put under pressure, gives us men a bad name

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Honesty iv been a club goer for over a year now and going there has been my only bad experience, all others iv tried have been brilliant its just there. Dont be put off other clubs its just adam and eves x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"couldnt there be a sort colour code neck band or something for people to wear that would signal that you musst ask before touching or that a quick feel is ok without asking etc, we are going to a club for the first time this wk and I have concerns now that the wife will get pestered being "new meat" and someone may get belted, I love watching and joining in when she plays but wont have her put under pressure, gives us men a bad name "

A quick feel is never okay without asking as far as I'm concerned

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A quick feel is never okay without asking as far as I'm concerned"

us neither - as is the knee jerk reaction some people might have - either verbal or physical

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It sounds all a bit sleazy to me and makes me think of sticky carpets for some reason.

Saying that, I've never been to an adult club but surely anyone with a modicum of common sense and manners, would ask before touching?

Maybe it's an expectation that it's a free for all....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn't this a type of naming and shaming...and good to see a certain club has veried the OP...but id try not to let it effect your judgement on other clubs...and tbh..thats most why i dont go to clubs as a single male...i just find some guys too creepy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Which club? I wonder what the owners would think of someone who would resort to violence attending?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Weve been reading this post with interest,as well as stupid behaviour on here,some men are now taking it to the clubs as well?. weve had it happen to us and will never go again.If it carries on like this,there will be only men on here and in the clubs and that will spoil it for the genuine ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely put me off clubs

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Which club? I wonder what the owners would think of someone who would resort to violence attending? "

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

I have been going to clubs with my OH for 4 years and have never had a problem, well nothing that couldn't be handled with just 'the look'. Nothing that I needed my husbands help with.

Yes you occasionally get the followers, those who won't say a word or even make eye contact with me, but I have never been made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

So don't let 1 bad night put people off a club night.

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By *oo hotCouple over a year ago

North West

Never been to this Club....

But....

Is this not all a bit OTT?

As for those now stating that they will never go to any Club after reading the thread... WTF? Even more OTT.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/04/15 14:35:37]

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman over a year ago

Deviant City

Still not tried this club, never heard anything good about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If anyone is looking for a good club that is relaxed and does not have single males following you. Then I would strongly recommend you go to townhouse it's the best clean club ever...with great owners

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Listen guys girls couples been loads of clubs had menny good nights and met loads of friends . Dont be put off if never been a club. Just my apoinion on this night an club had some amazing times in several others clubs . I heard menny different things about club so I gave it ago not for me. I give anywhere a chance because every one has different opinions. If never been a club just read reviews and have a good time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have been in the club scene for many years and honestly have never come across this kind of thing before.

We hope that the op can put this down to a bad experience and just not attend the club again.

It has to be said that the actions of the member of staff are beyond belief and no one should be treated in such a way. Attending a swingers club doesn't mean that you are there to play. Choice is everything and those choices are based on how you feel when you are there and on the people who are there at the same time as you.

Two golden rules for any club are these, No means No & never try to push anyone into anything. These rules should be made clear to everyone.

We hope that the op and everyone else is not put off the club scene as it can be a really fun place to be.

Happy Swinging and have fun xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We like to attend different clubs to experience what each have to offer and have never heard anything good about A&E, despite this, I (Em) still wanted to attend to make my own opinion and judgement of the place, as the comments were mainly about the decor and quality of the place, and the reviews were fairly good (albeit from the same people on a regular basis) but after reading of the OP experience and that of others we know, I think this club has been removed from my "to do" list...

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By *leepyangelCouple over a year ago

over the hill and far away

I posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about single guys over stepping the boundaries.

Most clubs deal with the issue immediately if it's reported. As for Adam and eves I've been there twice. The first time I gave it the benefit of the doubt, waited a few months and went back. It was awful. Full of old men wanking round an old TV

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about single guys over stepping the boundaries.

Some of those old tv's are very heavy n not easy to move.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Exactly the reason why I wouldn't go to a club in a million years! X"

Absolutely agree. Pippa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Definitely put me off clubs

As some have said, not all clubs are like that at all.

Also many clubs have single girls and couple nights only. On mixed nights they (the clubs) tend to limit the number of single guys coming in to ensure all have fun.

Many clubs have realized, that without couples and single girls the clubs would be fully of guys wanking off and then these would remain at home (cheaper a beer a internet porn then £50-80 for a wank party) ... Most single guys in clubs are respectful and accept a "no" as a "no".

If they don't a complaint to management usually helps by getting them removed.

But to say; it isn't always single guys who acted out of order..Also couples can be a "pain" and grope without asking...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So its started already just read the review page one of the clubs "clients" slagging my avoid review. .. because I put one on the other week which clearly says I didn't get to experience the club because it had closed and I just got a quick look around. Sure its called freedom of speech

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We like to attend different clubs to experience what each have to offer and have never heard anything good about A&E, despite this, I (Em) still wanted to attend to make my own opinion and judgement of the place, as the comments were mainly about the decor and quality of the place, and the reviews were fairly good (albeit from the same people on a regular basis) but after reading of the OP experience and that of others we know, I think this club has been removed from my "to do" list..."

I really wouldn't write off any club on someone else's say so.... I had an awful time at chameleons not so long ago... Caused by very similar behaviour... And yet it's still raved about.

We had written off this club... One because Mr had been years before and hadn't enjoyed it... But mostly from heresay... Well we went one evening a few weeks ago.. And found it to be friendly. The guys well behaved and in all clubs they follow.. But a quick sod off guys and off they went .

We have had bad nights at different clubs all over... But mostly we have had great ones.

The op is entirely justified to feel as she did.... As I was when I had the bad experience at chams and Isis and even lc a few times ... But I accept that no club is ever the same two nights xx and its that which always makes me try new places at least 3 times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So its started already just read the review page one of the clubs "clients" slagging my avoid review. .. because I put one on the other week which clearly says I didn't get to experience the club because it had closed and I just got a quick look around. Sure its called freedom of speech

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By *oo hotCouple over a year ago

North West

That reviewer is not slagging you off at all, she just pointed out factually that you had left an earlier "fun" review. How can you possibly interpret that as slagging you off? Have you got some other agenda going on?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd agree that it is not exactly slagging off the OP. But equally the 2 reviews following the OP's both are just saying she is wrong and neither appears to actually be a new review

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Believe me there is no other agenda. Also u havnt seen the inboxes I have received today. Im stating the truth of what I witnessed regardless of what anyone says I would never want to be made to feel unsafe in a club situation ever again!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'd agree that it is not exactly slagging off the OP. But equally the 2 reviews following the OP's both are just saying she is wrong and neither appears to actually be a new review"

iv had some quite harsh inboxes also

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By *ouple for guysCouple over a year ago

blackpool

love adam and eve the staff on sunday are great company and so friendly and funny

love positive people with good things to say

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By *leepyangelCouple over a year ago

over the hill and far away

"Believe me there is no other agenda. Also u havnt seen the inboxes I have received today. Im stating the truth of what I witnessed regardless of what anyone says I would never want to be made to feel unsafe in a club situation ever again! "

I had a bad experience like yourself in amour a couple of weeks ago but the club dealt with it very professionally. Adam and eves have a bad reputation. Put it down to a bad experience x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Should I have to tell men to 'sod off' or 'give them that look?' Should I have to keep my guard up or put up with being followed around? It's meant to be a fun night out not a night when I, or others, have to run the gauntlet.

I've no trouble telling someone to fuck off, but really, that's not want to be doing on a night out. It isn't acceptable, but I've had to do it on more than one occasion. People in predatory mode are no fun to be around.

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By *ouple for guysCouple over a year ago

blackpool

why not look at all the positive reviews and give it a go

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"why not look at all the positive reviews and give it a go

problem is most of the reviews are from friends of the staff, the inboxes i have received are ridiculous and i have also been told by others that on more than one occasion staff have threatend people for leaving bad reviews... like they say opinions are like arseholes... everyones got one, and that was mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we have never been to the club in question but the following happens in most of them esp if its a greedy girls night ..much better going on a couples night .we rarely play as we get sick of the single fellas ( no disrespect i was once one) constantly asking could they touch..if we want you to join in we will invite you.but the staff at the club we frequent are on top of any problems ..and i dont take any shit neither im very straightforward in my replies ,wants and needs ..try another club and take someone who will not let you be treat like a piece of meat x

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By *ustusboth2013Couple over a year ago

Birmingham

"i agreed to meet a fab member at adam and eves tonight, its the first night i have actually been to the place properly, last time i was too late and just got a quick show around of the place, well i can definitely say this club is not for me!!!!

Good job it wasn't a greedy girls night!

Right or wrong, the single guys are going there for a reason, and like in life. Some people know how to present themselves in a better way than others. No should always mean no regardless.

We would always suggest first time couples/single fems to go on a night that is only for them (ie no single males). There is definitely a different dynamic and vibe to the night where you can feel more relaxed.

That way you can speak to people, collaborate and get advice before plunging into a mixed night.

This is why we, for the most part, stick to couples nights.

Unless of course that is not what you're looking for and you want attention in its masses, then fill your boots!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would definitely find out who your hosts were. Brenda and Steve are the best and usually keep the single guys in line.

Having a no single guy limit is one of the clubs negative features, it can get quite prepredatory. Although once upon a time I was a single guy and grateful to the Adam and Eves club for welcoming me to the swinging scene.

I've had good and bad experiences myself, but the good outnumber the bad.

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By *ouple for guysCouple over a year ago

blackpool

i think its best to be positive been looking at the reviews and they are from a wide range of people including single girls i lot of people like the club we have not been for a few months but would deffo go back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Definitely put me off clubs

You know We would look after you

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I think its a shame people post these on the forums, because everyone assumes every club is like that every night, as shown by all the people saying they'll never visit a club now.

I've been to a lot of clubs, and only really didn't enjoy two (one of which has glowing reviews on here). I have only ever experienced the cock train once, at one of the aforementioned clubs. I have been told that, if I have problems, report it to the staff immediately - they can't do much if you've already gone home.

Having said that, although I like to give most clubs second chance, the ones I disliked are unlikely to get me back again.

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

TattooedHB has the perfect answer to this: any man that touches her without permission (thinking she's a piece of meat) can either get his wrist dislocated, or a jaw-numbing slap.

And its not a threat - I've seen her do it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

have had a similar thing at a club I use to see my lady friend, only two of the rooms have locks and the meerkats tend to push the other doors open. trying a different approach when we go there again. lets see if it helps make things easier......

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By *ilberryMan over a year ago

Scarborough

Wow!

I know a lot of you enjoy clubs, and I have to say they are not my sort of thing, but there is a real thread of non consensual sex here,or sexual harassment maybe a better word. There seems to be a total disrespect of the lady customers? It makes me sick to be a man!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ill be honest and say the worst offenders for touching without asking are women... Both with guys and women x

I ask... As I won't assume any guy wants me to touch...

This is ms..

I mostly find clubs social places full of like minded people and a handful of idiots x

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

"Ill be honest and say the worst offenders for touching without asking are women... Both with guys and women x

I ask... As I won't assume any guy wants me to touch...

This is ms..

I mostly find clubs social places full of like minded people and a handful of idiots x"

So glad you said that!!!!

Just lately I have had more issues with couples and ladies than guy!!!

Disrespect does not have a gender!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow!

Totally correct my man,

I have only been to Cjs in Glasgow and have had a great experience there every time , admittedly I can count my visits on the fingers of one hand. However, no means NO and if you step out of line you WILL be turfed out pronto.....

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By *ollipop77Couple over a year ago

Sunny Manchester

I work behind the bar in a certain city centre club and I must say I sometimes feel like a headmistress when showing people around. Making it very clear that it is unacceptable to touch anyone without asking can lead to removal from the club, whether they are a man or a woman.

Have asked a guy to leave on his first night after he had just paid £60 seemed a little unfair but would rather upset one single male than 20 or so couples!

The main thing is to make sure that everybody is aware what acceptable behaviour is x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ill be honest and say the worst offenders for touching without asking are women... Both with guys and women x

I ask... As I won't assume any guy wants me to touch...

This is ms..

I mostly find clubs social places full of like minded people and a handful of idiots x

So glad you said that!!!!

Just lately I have had more issues with couples and ladies than guy!!!

Disrespect does not have a gender! "

Having been on both sides of clubs ie working and customer it gives me a perspective that I'm grateful for.

I've only been playing with couples and ladies for a short while in my swinging life....And I truly would say my biggest problem is with couples either half x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I work behind the bar in a certain city centre club and I must say I sometimes feel like a headmistress when showing people around. Making it very clear that it is unacceptable to touch anyone without asking can lead to removal from the club, whether they are a man or a woman.

Have asked a guy to leave on his first night after he had just paid £60 seemed a little unfair but would rather upset one single male than 20 or so couples!

The main thing is to make sure that everybody is aware what acceptable behaviour is x"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From experience unless you want to be hounded by single wanking men go to a couples only club otherwise this is usually what happens I am

Afraid x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The thing is going to a club as a single woman you have to be able to stand up for yourself

Men will follow you about but its upto you to tell them to fuck off

Firstly I politely tell them to stop following me about, touching me etc, second I give a firm I've told you once, if I have to say it again I get a bit verbally abusive that usually does the trick

If your not the type of women to do this then you have two choices put up with it or stop going

And before anyone says we shoulsnt have to go to them lengths or put up with it I agree but we do that's just how some clubs are

Sorry to have to agree with this as these situations should never, ever, be acceptable

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

for the sake of balance i am going to say this:

I have seen single guys that behave badly in clubs.....

I have seen single ladies that behave badly in clubs....

I have seen men as part of a couple that behave badly in clubs...

I have seen women as part of a couple that behave badly in clubs....

badly behaving isn't the exclusive domain of any one group.... an arse is an arse regardless...

there are two different things to deal with... how the people deal with it, and how staff deal with it...

people first... i am a advocate of asking them nicely first.... and if that doesn't work then telling them loudly!!!!

if whoever is doing this to you, i am guessing they are problem not the first person they have tried that tactic with.. and unless you tell staff what is happening, it not going to be the last....

none of this "suffer in silence" stuff!!! if you don't say anything to staff what happens with the next person they try it with.... you can stop their behaviour and you can stop it happening to others...

and good club worth its salt pays attention to the complaint and deals with it... i have seen people asked to leave clubs...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From experience unless you want to be hounded by single wanking men go to a couples only club otherwise this is usually what happens I am

Afraid x"

but say a single fem wants to meet a single fella - that situation shold be a pleasure not an endurance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hang a minute im not having that! I totally understand what you're saying and its good you are a ballsy woman who can tell men where to go, but im a man and i hate blokes like that and would never dream of behaving in that way, so we shouldn't make excuses for them.

If a club is developing a culture like this they seriously need to examine how they are operating because there's potential for a woman to be assaulted. Girls should feel that they are in the dominant position in clubs, (which i would say they usually are in my experience!)

What's described here is grim and out of order. We have to remember that some guys are ignorant, they have seen films of women being sexually submissive and they don't understand that this is a game where the girl should really always stay in control. They need to learn how to behave and the clubs need to create a culture to enforce that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From experience unless you want to be hounded by single wanking men go to a couples only club otherwise this is usually what happens I am

Afraid x"

Yet I have found halves of couples far worse than single guys x

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By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

In defense of single guys, those we have spoken to at clubs have always been polite and kept their distance but we have heard the stories and therefore chose to attend either couples only clubs or on couples only nights.

Single women should not be hounded and a simple no should suffice if not it is down to the club staff to take action.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Girls should feel that they are in the dominant position in clubs, (which i would say they usually are in my experience!)"

No they shouldn't. *Women* and men should feel equal in a sexual environment (and in every day life too) unless there are specific and consensual power-plays being enjoyed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Girls should feel that they are in the dominant position in clubs, (which i would say they usually are in my experience!)

No they shouldn't. *Women* and men should feel equal in a sexual environment (and in every day life too) unless there are specific and consensual power-plays being enjoyed."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Girls should feel that they are in the dominant position in clubs, (which i would say they usually are in my experience!)

No they shouldn't. *Women* and men should feel equal in a sexual environment (and in every day life too) unless there are specific and consensual power-plays being enjoyed."

Agreed

I find way to may women in clubs feel the rules do not apply to them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In defense of single guys, those we have spoken to at clubs have always been polite and kept their distance but we have heard the stories and therefore chose to attend either couples only clubs or on couples only nights.

Single women should not be hounded and a simple no should suffice if not it is down to the club staff to take action."

I find women can be just as bad, I have been to clubs and been in couples play rooms with a male friend and the woman from the other couple has just reached over and touched my boobs, I'm not bi I don't want women touching me, if a guy just came in and touched them there would be hell to pay so why do women think girl on girl play had its own rules, that being no rules if you see a woman she's up for it, I've had it happen to me a few times, I remember one time telling a woman I wasn't bi after she just started touching me and her reply was...don't be silly

People are always quick to jump on men for following and touching but women and couples can be just as bad

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By *jandjbCouple over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"for the sake of balance i am going to say this:

I have seen single guys that behave badly in clubs.....

I have seen single ladies that behave badly in clubs....

I have seen men as part of a couple that behave badly in clubs...

I have seen women as part of a couple that behave badly in clubs....

badly behaving isn't the exclusive domain of any one group.... an arse is an arse regardless...

there are two different things to deal with... how the people deal with it, and how staff deal with it...

people first... i am a advocate of asking them nicely first.... and if that doesn't work then telling them loudly!!!!

if whoever is doing this to you, i am guessing they are problem not the first person they have tried that tactic with.. and unless you tell staff what is happening, it not going to be the last....

and good club worth its salt pays attention to the complaint and deals with it... i have seen people asked to leave clubs... "

Fabio's advice is always worth reading but it is mainly single males who do the following around.

In terms of telling staff, when something similar happened to us we weren't quite sure who it was. However I did speak to the management to ask them to put better signs up and to give clearer instructions to men who were being given the tour.

Him