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Playroom Etiquette
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By *exyNix OP Couple
over a year ago
Preston |
Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual'  we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"This is totally unacceptable. It doesn't matter if you are playing in an open or private room. The first rule of play is you ask before you touch. Second rule is no means no! Xx"
Third rule is that single guys should keep out of couples rooms  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Permission is always required to touch anyone else ,we have suffered at the hands of rude guys one night at a well known club five guys started touching both of us when we asked them to leave they asked if we were sure ,piece of mind delivered very fast and complained to club not been back neither ,manners cost nothing what so ever |
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"Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual' we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
"
On our last visit I was doing the same to my other half in the couples playroom, apparently one guy made a move to touch me, other half just shook his head and the other guy just stood back to watch.
I probably would have jumped if someone unexpected had touched me!
We've only played together in clubs so far, not had anyone else join us,working up to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual' we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
"
Absolutely totally unacceptable it is the rule in most clubs however it doesn't always get enforced hence why I won't visit a cpl of clubs in the Eccles area and one in Leeds.
However some enforce it well best one I've been to is amour. It's ok it make it known and a kick jn the bollocks usually works wonders  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would always expect to be asked . I always tell my partner what I'd like to happen and if I'm " busy " working on him , I know he will give the nod or head shake if someone approaches . Don't let it out you off clubs X |
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
Justcant believe this comment, the couple went to a club to enjoy themselves.... not to be touched up by some randomer with no respect and even less manners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
Having fun with each other and enjoying their right to do so without being interfered with by people who haven't asked to join them who they may or may not be attracted to?
Going to a club doesn't mean you have given up your right to not be interfered with, nobody owns you just because you have entered a club, nobody has the right to touch you just because someone else that you have given permission to does it!
Please let me know if you are ever going to a club so we can avoid it!
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"Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual' we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
Everyone's different. Are you ok with someone touching you without asking? I wouldn't be. Are you? If you are then that's all that matters
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is totally unacceptable. It doesn't matter if you are playing in an open or private room. The first rule of play is you ask before you touch. Second rule is no means no! Xx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
What a stupid comment. If we are in the middle of playing nothing spoils the moment more than someone touching one of us uninvited sexually. We don't mean a touch on the arm, back or leg to kinda ask without words.... We mean a grope or sexual touch....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
Having fun with each other and enjoying their right to do so without being interfered with by people who haven't asked to join them who they may or may not be attracted to?
Going to a club doesn't mean you have given up your right to not be interfered with, nobody owns you just because you have entered a club, nobody has the right to touch you just because someone else that you have given permission to does it!
Please let me know if you are ever going to a club so we can avoid it!
"
Yeah we would also like a heads up so we could attend elsewhere.
I don't go to clubs to be touched up and would actively avoid anywhere promoting this behaviour. |
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"It is unacceptable to touch without asking first, have seen guys do this many times and it's rude guys like this that spoil it for everyone."
Guys, or women, or couples, that touch somewhere outside the genitals as a means of asking don't spoil it for us and many of the couples we know.
There is a difference between a grope and a touch. From the description given by the OP she was touched on the bottom to see what her response was. Verbally asking in that situation can be a mood killer. Because she didn't make it clear that the touch was unwanted then the person continued. There is nothing wrong with saying no or moving an unwanted hand without drama.
A gentle touch as a way of seeing if there is interest is fairly standard practice in open play rooms in most clubs we've been to. We've never had problems giving or receiving those types of touch. To be groped by someone just entering the room is a very rare occurrence in our experience.
We had this scenario many times in our first 2 years of clubbing when we only played with each other - we just said no thanks or moved the hand and that told the toucher that they weren't wanted and the touch stopped.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
Oh dear Lordy Lord. Let's hope that was a tongue in cheek comment. If not, learn a little. |
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
Typical fucking single man on this site.
I resent that."
Yes there is the small group snd ive met some of these but some just think women are gunna go round and get naked for them if they message wanna fuck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Guys, or women, or couples, that touch somewhere outside the genitals as a means of asking don't spoil it for us and many of the couples we know.
...
A gentle touch as a way of seeing if there is interest is fairly standard practice in open play rooms in most clubs we've been to. We've never had problems giving or receiving those types of touch. To be groped by someone just entering the room is a very rare occurrence in our experience.
"
Asking before touching is always better.
I would be upset if someone touched me on my body anywhere without asking. The answer would be an automatic 'no' because they had touched without asking. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual' we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
"
If you were on your own, in an open play room, I would have got close so you knew I was intreasted but not touching and still give you space. I would have watched for a few mins then,touched myself and then see what your reaction and then ask do you mind if I join you.
At which point you could have said at 2 points I was to close. I would have probably stroked your wife's arm first if you said I could join you then take it slowly |
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"Asking before touching is always better.
I would be upset if someone touched me on my body anywhere without asking. The answer would be an automatic 'no' because they had touched without asking."
That's where we, and an awful lot of people we know, are different from you. We see no problem at all in an exploratory touch and expect it if we are in an open room. We aren't upset by it - it's just a way of asking non-verbally. A verbal ask pisses us off. In 15 years of operating this way we've never had dramas. We just regard it as someone getting our attention. That's all it is - an unspoken request to which body language answers yes or no.
In a noisy environment would you be upset if someone tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Asking before touching is always better.
I would be upset if someone touched me on my body anywhere without asking. The answer would be an automatic 'no' because they had touched without asking.
That's where we, and an awful lot of people we know, are different from you. We see no problem at all in an exploratory touch and expect it if we are in an open room. We aren't upset by it - it's just a way of asking non-verbally. A verbal ask pisses us off. In 15 years of operating this way we've never had dramas. We just regard it as someone getting our attention. That's all it is - an unspoken request to which body language answers yes or no.
In a noisy environment would you be upset if someone tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention?
"
I touch of the leg, arm etc ... We are the same.. It is easy to shake a head, or remove the hand or say no thanks... And do not consider a none sexual touch as rude .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes a touch to the arm or leg ect isn't so bad and it's very easy to say no, but to sexually touch someone without their permission is disgusting. We were playing in an open room not too long ago and, while I was lay on my back playing as part of a 4, a man decided to invite himself in grabbing my nipples and attempted to stick his tongue in my mouth. Cheeky twat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and before this turns into a single guys bashing thread... Women are still far worse in my experience especially when it comes to helping themselves to a guys cock... They seem to think its just a given then can start to wank or touch a guy... Annoys the hell out of me when it happens when we are already playing. |
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"Oh and before this turns into a single guys bashing thread... Women are still far worse in my experience especially when it comes to helping themselves to a guys cock... They seem to think its just a given then can start to wank or touch a guy... Annoys the hell out of me when it happens when we are already playing. "
Women never ask before touching, and by touching I mean a sexual grope.
But I am one of those who doesn't mind a touch to see if I am receptive to play, especially if I am 'occupied' at the time. I find someone asking if they can join in while I have a mouthful of cock kinda offputting |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
But if the cock was elsewhere would you mind 
I have had my cock groped by ladies without asking and normally I don't mind but sometime I do and do give them a telling off jokingly but with a point |
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
What an idiotic comment!! I hope club owners have noted this lunatic's username and details! Maybe single guys do have a bad rep, here is the reason why the small minority spoil it for the rest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up?? "
Hopefully most of us will never encounter an ill mannered single man like you in our lives.
Anyway, what they did was bad form. Always ask before approaching and touching. Anyone that touches me without consent gets put in their place by me first, if they don't take the hint then they are told by C. |
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Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really |
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"Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really "
Just as daft as previous comment. Just because someone might want company it doesn't mean they want to play with everyone.
So if you are on an open playroom you wouldn't mind some bi guy just shoving his cock up your arse? |
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"Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really "
I agree to a point.
If I don't want company I find a private room, if I'm playing in an open room I am amenable to others joining in. Not just anyone though.
But what about those who are exhibitionist ? They don't want others to join them and they also don't want to be in private. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
People with the same view as YOU are the reason why single females like myself are put off going to clubs alone!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really
I agree to a point.
If I don't want company I find a private room, if I'm playing in an open room I am amenable to others joining in. Not just anyone though.
But what about those who are exhibitionist ? They don't want others to join them and they also don't want to be in private."
This is me I liked to be watched it doesn't mean I want every tom, dick and Harry thinking I'm free game and touching |
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"Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really "
Oh, really, we must, must we?
On your bike sunshine!!
We go to clubs, and if we want to play, we play, be it in the couples room, cinema room, or any other playrooms, be they locked or not, and if anyone decides that this is an invite to touch and grope..... god help them!!! |
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We were just coming around to the idea of attending a mixed night at a club. We fully appreciate that 99% of men don't share some of the views expressed on here but it has put us off attending, we will just stick to couples night we think.
It's true what they say, the minority spoil it for the majority  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
Typical fucking single man on this site.
I resent that."
You're not alone with that resentment However post like the one you quoted don't help us genuine single chaps .
I'm hoping it was posted to get a reaction not s genuine opinion x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone.
We are very new to the swinging scene and not actually swung yet. We've enjoyed visiting a club a couple of times and on our last visit ventured into one of the playrooms to play with each other.
When we had finished my wife mentioned that, whilst she was busy down-below on me someone (don't know whether male or female) gave her bum a good fondle and then down round her pussy. Although she didn't mind at the time we were a little surprised as we had always thought that you should always try and get permission from the other couple if you want to join-in.
So can anyone advice what is the etiquette in playrooms? Is the odd fondle ok if the couple are 'busy'? If so, how far can you actually go? Is there anything else we should be aware of?
I realise there are lots of questions there but without a 'user manual' we don't want to overstep the mark if we do the same thing to others in the future.
All comments and suggestions gratefully received!
M&S
xx
"
A simlar thing happened to me I was on my hands and knees and thought my friend was behind me slapping my bottom... I don't know why I looked round but only to see some black guy standing there!
Needless to say I told him to go away in not such a nice way..... I always thought the rules were ask before you touch and anyone that doesn't should be warned that next time they will be removed.
Some guys take the P
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personal experience, if you don't want company, go into a locked playroom, otherwise you may well have company, that said I've never known anyone join in without a signal, usually a wave or a nod will do. If you don't want company you must use a locked playroom really
Oh, really, we must, must we?
On your bike sunshine!!
We go to clubs, and if we want to play, we play, be it in the couples room, cinema room, or any other playrooms, be they locked or not, and if anyone decides that this is an invite to touch and grope..... god help them!!! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely bad playroom manners. They need to be told - as do the club management if they are repeat offenders. I love being used by strangers but they have to wait to be invited otherwise they get nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were just coming around to the idea of attending a mixed night at a club. We fully appreciate that 99% of men don't share some of the views expressed on here but it has put us off attending, we will just stick to couples night we think.
It's true what they say, the minority spoil it for the majority "
I have had more unwanted touching on couples evenings from men and women than ever on a mixed night... So do not let it put you off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
Obviously you don't attend clubs.....or if you did you would soon find yourself out on yer arse if you tried this in a half decent club.
To the OP if you are in. "Private" room...in most clubs you can lock the door...problem solved.
In an "open" room others can/will come and watch but should clearly ask if wishing to join in or touch.
There are a couple of clubs with specific rooms (or on specific nights in these rooms) where it is considered as "open house" as in you give permission for touching etc by being in that room (some have dark "grope" rooms etc. these rooms have specific rules.
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
I have taken a good friend into this situation where she wanted a good ducking from multiple guys. You need a "wingman" for this. Let him know who you are/not happy with. The guys should still check (with him) before any contact/penetration and he also is able to ensure they are covered up.
Hope this helps. Feel free to PM if you wish and I'm sure other contributors would be OK if you messaged them too. |
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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
1st and foremost "No means No!"
2ndly, take note of the room you're playing in and what the rules are. This includes couples who sometimes think rules don't apply to them.
If you go and play in an open room that has been designated "Free For All" ie anyone can join in, then nobody has to ask you before touching or trying to join in.
If you hadn't been respecting the rules of the room, you'll of course say no and the "No means No" rule applies, and they should back off.
If you're playing in an open room with no other qualifications, then the "Ask before you touch" rule applies.
Basically, know the rules of the room you're playing in and you'll have less of a hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
Obviously you don't attend clubs.....or if you did you would soon find yourself out on yer arse if you tried this in a half decent club.
To the OP if you are in. "Private" room...in most clubs you can lock the door...problem solved.
In an "open" room others can/will come and watch but should clearly ask if wishing to join in or touch.
There are a couple of clubs with specific rooms (or on specific nights in these rooms) where it is considered as "open house" as in you give permission for touching etc by being in that room (some have dark "grope" rooms etc. these rooms have specific rules.
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
I have taken a good friend into this situation where she wanted a good ducking from multiple guys. You need a "wingman" for this. Let him know who you are/not happy with. The guys should still check (with him) before any contact/penetration and he also is able to ensure they are covered up.
Hope this helps. Feel free to PM if you wish and I'm sure other contributors would be OK if you messaged them too."
I've been watching thread since I commented earlier and you have just been really helpful, as stupid as it might sound ..... Im not sure what to expect from a club, I really want to attend a few but been very hesitant as I'm didn't know what rooms mean whats expected to happen and what rules apply to random touching .......
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
"
never heard that rule before... And would not be happy if people helped themselves when I'm enjoying time with my partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
never heard that rule before... And would not be happy if people helped themselves when I'm enjoying time with my partner. "
Me neither! |
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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
never heard that rule before... And would not be happy if people helped themselves when I'm enjoying time with my partner.
Me neither! "
Nor me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Asking before touching is always better.
I would be upset if someone touched me on my body anywhere without asking. The answer would be an automatic 'no' because they had touched without asking.
That's where we, and an awful lot of people we know, are different from you. We see no problem at all in an exploratory touch and expect it if we are in an open room. We aren't upset by it - it's just a way of asking non-verbally. A verbal ask pisses us off. In 15 years of operating this way we've never had dramas. We just regard it as someone getting our attention. That's all it is - an unspoken request to which body language answers yes or no.
In a noisy environment would you be upset if someone tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention?
"
In a *very* noisy environment a touch on the hand would be an ok way to get my attention.
If myself or the person I am with is not actively looking around and so you can't make eye contact - you can assume that we are not looking for others to play.
If we are looking for others to play, one (or both) will be actively looking around the room. You *will* be able to engage with eye contact and then you'll either be invited with a wave or rejected. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
A couple was spanking each other recently in an club and I wanted to join in but I didn't know them well enough I did about 5 mins later say I would have liked to but I didn't know them and they said that's fine you can join in
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A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable"."
Really???
Which xmas cracker did this joke fall out of?
On this principle then a lady just about to leave a jacuzzi would be facing outwards and therefore in your opinion fair game for being groped or having body parts inserted into her...NOT!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
Really???
Which xmas cracker did this joke fall out of?
On this principle then a lady just about to leave a jacuzzi would be facing outwards and therefore in your opinion fair game for being groped or having body parts inserted into her...NOT!! "
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Accidental touch with an apology yes this happens in the jacuzzi when i go there with my fb.. but for people to assume its a free for all.. hmmmm not for everyone...
Being blunt and frank as i see it happen.. yes some men and women do play in a "ticketing system" where it is a jump in when i get a chance but thats their choice.. not everyones.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A gentle touch as a way of seeing if there is interest is fairly standard practice in open play rooms in most clubs we've been to. We've never had problems giving or receiving those types of touch.
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No. We don't agree. We always want someone to ask first....even a gentle, quite "is it ok?" Is required. We, especially P, who it happens to more, absolutely want and need people to ask. So disrespectful and disappointing when people don't. |
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"
A gentle touch as a way of seeing if there is interest is fairly standard practice in open play rooms in most clubs we've been to. We've never had problems giving or receiving those types of touch.
No. We don't agree. We always want someone to ask first....even a gentle, quite "is it ok?" Is required. We, especially P, who it happens to more, absolutely want and need people to ask. So disrespectful and disappointing when people don't."
You don't agree that it's fairly standard or you don't agree that it should happen? If it's the second then that's your choice but we're all different and we see no disrespect in a touch on the arm or leg to gauge interest. If it's the first can I ask which clubs you've been to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You don't agree that it's fairly standard or you don't agree that it should happen? If it's the second then that's your choice but we're all different and we see no disrespect in a touch on the arm or leg to gauge interest. If it's the first can I ask which clubs you've been to?"
The second.
It is our choice but it is also disrespectful to touch people without asking. Also see previous comments in this thread about sexually explicit touching (pussy etc) without asking...although for clarity we are not talking about that just now, we're discussing a non consensual (because if you don't ask and get consent that's what it is) 'light' touching...a leg or something. You and others may think it's ok but we and many others do not. It doesn't make us, but particularly P feel safe :/
In response to your first point we do think it is far too common and some people do seem OK with it. It's a real shame that some people don't get this though.
We found the worse place for this was Cap D'Adge, where we visited several clubs....maybe it's a cultural thing Over here we've been to Secrets, Le Boudoir, Ourplace4fun, VA, Wonderland (when it was running), Kinky Salon, Submission, Club Pedestal and a few others. Our experience is this happens much less in the fetish scene.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would touch someone on the arm if I wanted to get their attention in any busy place..
Its actually something I was taught as good manners ... Ie not shout across other people .. Its the equivalent of "excuse me"
Or at least to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only attend a club that has the chain across the door option on the private rooms so the door can be open to show off but no-one can come in to touch inappropriately and can only ask over the chain. Do not all clubs have this option? A kind of midway point between door shut and locked or wide open to anyone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
Really???
Which xmas cracker did this joke fall out of?
On this principle then a lady just about to leave a jacuzzi would be facing outwards and therefore in your opinion fair game for being groped or having body parts inserted into her...NOT!! "
But not specifically stationary...with hands on her partner/wing mans shoulders....it is a very specific sign. And certainly applied to the particular club in question. It was her who told me this as she had been many times before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind someone touching the arm or back etc to get our attention if we are playing but would not be happy with being touched sexual without being ask first. "
Well said ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind someone touching the arm or back etc to get our attention if we are playing but would not be happy with being touched sexual without being ask first. "
It's a subtle thing, isn't it? And a lot is conveyed through touch by the intent used...This sounds ok but then a 'sexy' stroke on a thigh might not be... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jacuzzi's - well they're part of the club so expect a touch or more..."
So is the sauna, steam room and pool at the gym. But I'd not expect to be touched up there, as much as an unwanted hand, or any other body part on my private parts.
I'd not walk up to a stranger and give them a reach around whilst in sainsburys so why would I in a swingers club......etiquette is about respecting everyone's dignity, no matter who's balls deep in them and such like  ....
I'm hoping they're just piss taking trolls. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
Really???
Which xmas cracker did this joke fall out of?
On this principle then a lady just about to leave a jacuzzi would be facing outwards and therefore in your opinion fair game for being groped or having body parts inserted into her...NOT!!
But not specifically stationary...with hands on her partner/wing mans shoulders....it is a very specific sign. And certainly applied to the particular club in question. It was her who told me this as she had been many times before."
that maybe was "her"rule... But certainly wouldn't have been a given rule. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly - what are you doing in the club if you dont wanna be touched up??
"
Hey Rapey Rapison. You should definitely put this comment on your profile - you'll get aaaaaall the girls. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A general rule in jacuzzis is if you are facing inward then no touch without chatting and checking. If you are as a couple then guy facing inwards, lady with hands on his shoulders and rear into the centre is "approachable".
"
Seriously? That must be why some bloke thought it was okay to sexually assault me in a Jacuzzi in a club once? Please let me know what club this is a general rule at so I can avoid it...I'm not fair game anywhere, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting views. Theres always (arguably) grey areas but rule of thumb is respect respect respect. Ive heard of clubs with tape on floor or rope across that no single guy can cross without an invite but a couple playing next to another couple have been known to upset people by assuming they can just join in so its not foolproof.
The rules in the club i work at ( we dont have roped/taped off areas but we do have a couples only room on saturdays only) is one must ask before touching anywhere. Ive Dealt with cases of clearly misjudged non verbal consent but the onus is on the approacher To ensure consent is indeed there. So i really disagree with the hot tub comment :/ |
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Not quite on topic but almost! ... a few years ago when me and my wife were still finding our feet in this crazy lifestyle we decided to try a house party and found one literally just down the road from where we were living ... I contacted the guy who was organising, explained my wifes nervousness and was reassured that there was no pressure etc etc so off we went!
As it turned out the crowd weren't really our type at all(!!) but we stayed for a drink to be polite ... before I realised what was happening Mr 'no pressure' party organiser was shoving his hand up my wifes skirt with no invitation which freaked her out to the point where she ran out of the flat in tears and didn't stop running till we got home ... I reluctantly resisted the urge to go back and fill the creeps face in (wish I had now though!)but his actions knocked us off the path for a while!!
We now only play at clubs and only on 'couples only' nights and have had some awesome experiences along the way, clubs for us are generally frequented by respectful folks
And Mr 'no pressure' is still around so "be careful out there" |
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"Jacuzzi's - well they're part of the club so expect a touch or more..."
I'm sure that's fine when you are in the field fucking sheep or horses but these are people. Be careful who you touch up it might be your mother sucking my cock. |
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"
A gentle touch as a way of seeing if there is interest is fairly standard practice in open play rooms in most clubs we've been to. We've never had problems giving or receiving those types of touch.
No. We don't agree. We always want someone to ask first....even a gentle, quite "is it ok?" Is required. We, especially P, who it happens to more, absolutely want and need people to ask. So disrespectful and disappointing when people don't."
common courtesy isn't it? X |
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"Jacuzzi's - well they're part of the club so expect a touch or more...
TROLL!!! Take no notice. "
You would like to think so, but the FAB police don't see it that way!
Maybe they are the ones with the wanering fingers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jacuzzi's - well they're part of the club so expect a touch or more..."
Wow... Ever heaRd of "no means no" or "do not touch without permission"? Enough people use the Jacuzzis for, wait for it... relaxation. Even more people like to choose who touches them and where. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a single guy and I do club meets and also private meets, it's simple, i always ask if they say it's ok then I join in, if they say no then it's no I then just watch and enjoy. ( It's called respect ) John. |
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