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Couples and jealousy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us, swinging is about trying new things together, not to try and get better sex than we already have with each other.
I think it's always a worry when starting out but if you love and trust each other and already have a great partnership, then jealousy shouldn't be an issue.
It's also about having the ability to communicate any problems to each other too. That's very important.
Mrs N |
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"I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations."
If you see it as having a better time then you will struggle, if you see it as your partner enjoying themselves you probably won't. Swinging as a couple isn't for everyone and if you aren't secure about your partner experiencing things you can't provide for whatever reason it's probably best not to do it  |
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By *ollipop77Couple
over a year ago
Sunny Manchester |
I was previously single but not in a committed relationship. At first we talked and said we didn't want to swing. He then saw me chatting with a nice, young guy and it turned him on. We spoke about and gave it a try. He loves to watch me get full filled now x |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations."
Not sure if this a jealous feeling, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to share him yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get jelouse it's turn on watching him please other women n it turn him on watching me get pleased by other guys.
Even if we did find someone who he enjoyed fucking more then me it wouldn't bother me at all, it's just fucking.
We make love and they might have fantastic sex but I get all the good bits in our relationship x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't feel jealous at all, I'm quite intrigued when a lady tries something new with my husband and when I see him react I just want to know how to do it for back at home lol |
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I feel the very opposite from jealous. When a girl in a club shows an interest in my Hubby it's turns me on so much. To watch him fuck another girl and her loving it is amazing..knowing he's mine but other woman is enjoying him. Wow! Iv told girls to take him home with them before and to go off together. I love seeing him have fun as he's the same with me with guys. We been swinging together for 6 years and we think our relationship is amazing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get jelouse it's turn on watching him please other women n it turn him on watching me get pleased by other guys.
Even if we did find someone who he enjoyed fucking more then me it wouldn't bother me at all, it's just fucking.
We make love and they might have fantastic sex but I get all the good bits in our relationship x"
see I am the opposite , if Mr had better sex with someone else id be mortified.
He did once tell me someone else was better at oral than me, and to be honest my confidence has never fully recovered.
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And again if another girl can please him more than me then fair play to her I want my Hubby to have a good time....Doesn't make me feel inferior at all. Not like they are gona run off and fall in love lol xx |
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"I don't get jelouse it's turn on watching him please other women n it turn him on watching me get pleased by other guys.
Even if we did find someone who he enjoyed fucking more then me it wouldn't bother me at all, it's just fucking.
We make love and they might have fantastic sex but I get all the good bits in our relationship x see I am the opposite , if Mr had better sex with someone else id be mortified.
He did once tell me someone else was better at oral than me, and to be honest my confidence has never fully recovered.
"
That's a shame. Just because someone is better at sucking cock than you on that one occasion doesn't mean he doesn't like the way you do it. Just he liked her better on that one occasion. He's not gona run off into the night with her. I'm sure there's lots of reasons he loves you or he wouldn't be in a relationship with you. To have a good swinging relationship you need to understand the difference between emotions and sex. If you don't enjoy seeing ur partner being pleasured to the max (even if they are better then you) then you might want to re-evaluate your situation xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And again if another girl can please him more than me then fair play to her I want my Hubby to have a good time....Doesn't make me feel inferior at all. Not like they are gona run off and fall in love lol xx"
see it does make me feel inferior. Love watching him play and kiss But not if I'm totally excluded...
I have been doing this for over 16 years but only as a couple for 3 ... We have a great time but just saying if he had better sex with someone else and told me so chances are id stop swinging.
As anyone that has met us knows ,I'm laid back and often sat encouraging mischief but I'm predominantly a gg and as such quite competitive and if someone can pleasure my own partner more than me then id question myself a lot x |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations."
it sounds like to me you are trying to compeate with your partner.
everyone gets jelliose some times, for some its common for others its once every other blue moon.
I have known a swinger to block one of his former playmates boy freind, or either pretend to be that person on a couples profile.
For most people envy is nano second if that before being replaced by another emotion like joy , weather that is swinging or outside of the lifestyle. most of the time it is brought on by a feeling of self inadiquacy.
This is what couples I know have told me. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I don't get jelouse it's turn on watching him please other women n it turn him on watching me get pleased by other guys.
Even if we did find someone who he enjoyed fucking more then me it wouldn't bother me at all, it's just fucking.
We make love and they might have fantastic sex but I get all the good bits in our relationship x see I am the opposite , if Mr had better sex with someone else id be mortified.
He did once tell me someone else was better at oral than me, and to be honest my confidence has never fully recovered.
"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
"
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your honesty. I think I would struggle with that. I know some of u say that even if someone else was better that wouldn't mean they were going to run off with them. I have known 3 couples where this has happened over the yrs and one couple I used to play with met each other swinging and left their long term partners for each other cos the sex and connection was better. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x "
We haven't met anyone yet, not sure if we will either. no offence to him but he shouldn't have said it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoy watching my partner have fun with another lady but I don't want to fully swap. I want to keep something just for us. We talk about it often and are we hypocritical as we do everything else apart from fuck others. I am concerned that if he did fuck someone and I was jealous then there is no way back
How did others find their first full swap? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy watching my partner have fun with another lady but I don't want to fully swap. I want to keep something just for us. We talk about it often and are we hypocritical as we do everything else apart from fuck others. I am concerned that if he did fuck someone and I was jealous then there is no way back
How did others find their first full swap?"
not sure I can answer that as we met while swinging ... And have gone from meeting separately to now only playing together ... And many different ways of playing in-between... And always changing how we play.
But even things we have done that hasn't worked.. We have just adjusted things and not done that again x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x
We haven't met anyone yet, not sure if we will either. no offence to him but he shouldn't have said it "
If u really know ur partner u don't need to say you can just tell |
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"I enjoy watching my partner have fun with another lady but I don't want to fully swap. I want to keep something just for us. We talk about it often and are we hypocritical as we do everything else apart from fuck others. I am concerned that if he did fuck someone and I was jealous then there is no way back
How did others find their first full swap?"
Just do what you want and are comfortable with. I found our first full swap was great, I felt no jealousy or regret but I'm not you so my experience is of no use to you.
I personally don't understand it when people say there's no way back if you feel jealous, why not? If you've agreed and are both 100% sure you want to try it and one of you finds it upsetting it's nobody's fault and you don't need to ever do it again. However if one of you has doubts that play on their mind more than just nerves but you go ahead anyway problems could arise. What I'm trying to say is if you're worried that there would be no way back swinging probably isn't a good idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x
We haven't met anyone yet, not sure if we will either. no offence to him but he shouldn't have said it
If u really know ur partner u don't need to say you can just tell"
I wasn't there at the time.. It is part of why I no longer enjoy meeting alone x |
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By *ust4fun26Couple
over a year ago
West Yorkshire |
I have always been a very jealous person but love to watch another woman enjoying MY man...I know there's nothing more than just sex so have no reason to worry. However, where I differ from most is that I really get off on jealousy - I love him to try make me jealous it's a massive turn on for me and has made our relationship so much better and more fun and he says he loves to watch me enjoy myself with other men. If it ever doesn't feel like fun then we'll stop. But not yet - for now it far too much fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recon women get more jealous in the couples as they see their man having fun, whilst the men enjoy seeing their woman having fun."
id agree ... We have met many couples where the male partner isn't allowed to play.... I am fine as long as I'm involved and can see the fun.
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We were just talking about this today, how weird it is that we love to see the other with another person, but then there is no way any other person has done more sexually or made it a better experience than we have ever had with each other just because what we have between us is something entirely different and not comparable. For us it is about the turn on of seeing what we each get up to, but not looking for anything more. In fact, part of the reason we were talking about it is that we haven't swung as a couple for more than six months. Mr has met a couple of men on his single account, but that was to scratch a little itch and its never the same without the other because its about us. Jealousy would never come into it because its two totally different things .... |
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"I recon women get more jealous in the couples as they see their man having fun, whilst the men enjoy seeing their woman having fun."
Disagree with this. I love seeing my man have fun with other women totally turns me on. Never felt jealous ever the more he comes for a girl the better the experience for me. Love talking dirty to him about how she felt etc when we have sex after....it's so fucking horny! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I love watching the wife have a good time with a fit guy and love her to enjoy it I do get a little jelous but that adds to the feeling of excitement that gives me the butterflies in my tummy. Her on the other hand can't stand me going with another woman
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that communicating is vital if u are in the lifestyle but do ever get jealous. And if so how do u fix it?
For example seeing ur partner have a better time with someone else or being able to achieve something else that they have never achieved with you (multiple orgasms or squirting or coming with oral if you can't make them cum that way etc)
I'm single atm but I don't think I'd be able to see my other half have a better time with someone else.
Obviously this qu doesn't include those who like cuck situations."
Some people are jealous, others are not. I see multiple people, and my partners see multiple people. I'm very happy for them. There's even a word for it - being happy because your partner is happy with someone else is called compersion. It's a lovely feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have always been a very jealous person but love to watch another woman enjoying MY man...I know there's nothing more than just sex so have no reason to worry."
See, I don't regard the people I see as "mine". And they have far more then "just sex" with others. And I still don't worry.
I love seeing them fall for others, it's so exciting to see them happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't get jealous as we see swinging as extension of our sex life. Once the couple has left us or we leave the club we go back to being 'us' again
If and when one if us gets even slightly jealous we will walk away from seining as our relationship and us being together is much more important |
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We have an excellent sex life together we swing to add that little bit extra .wife does it as she knows how much I like watching her have a good time with another guy or girl,and same for her with me ..we enjoy it more together tan solo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been a very interesting read this 1. Thank you for sharing, will continue being considerate of everyone's feeling & comfort with the scenario when meeting couples.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x "
Always refreshing to read your observations .
Honesty , and sod what others may think , fair play to you .
It's similar for us , I love seeing Sabrina having a great time and never get jealous . The better time she has , the better it is for me . But she has never said its been better than the fun she has with me .
And although she is less enthusiastic than I am about seeing me in the throes of passion with someone else , she loves to watch me having fun too . But if I ever said someone else was better than her , that would be the end of our swinging lifestyle . I just wouldn't , because it's not possible . We have everything together , the full package . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We'd stop if either one of us had a jealousy issue.
It wouldn't be any fun if we had that worry. Others will be better at certain things thats life move on and accept it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Id be the same especially as I don't have a lot of confidence, I would hate to be told this
It threw me for a long time.. Mostly I just adore watching Mr do his thing and another woman getting pleasure from it. Him having a good time I enjoy... Being told they were better ... Nope x
Always refreshing to read your observations .
Honesty , and sod what others may think , fair play to you .
It's similar for us , I love seeing Sabrina having a great time and never get jealous . The better time she has , the better it is for me . But she has never said its been better than the fun she has with me .
And although she is less enthusiastic than I am about seeing me in the throes of passion with someone else , she loves to watch me having fun too . But if I ever said someone else was better than her , that would be the end of our swinging lifestyle . I just wouldn't , because it's not possible . We have everything together , the full package ."
its interesting that you say that Sabrina is less enthusiastic... Maybe its just the way us women are.. Rather than actually being less enthusiastic... Maybe it just seems that way. |
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Jealousy was a big potential worry for us before we started, but it turned out to be mostly a non-issue.
When we're with a couple, undoubtedly the other couple will have some (ahem  ) features which are different to ours, but we both love to see each other having fun and enjoying it so that's not a problem.
Sometimes one of us will get to experience something new and fantastic, in which case it's a learning experience; again no jealousy. That's how we look at it!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the Mrs and myself meet alone mostly, her getting more meets than me, I was a bit jealous, but now I've come to accept that it's just the way this site is, but lately it's been the other way round, she's seems to be having a bad run of timewasters right now, and I'm the one getting the meets. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I enjoy watching my partner have fun with another lady but I don't want to fully swap. I want to keep something just for us. We talk about it often and are we hypocritical as we do everything else apart from fuck others. I am concerned that if he did fuck someone and I was jealous then there is no way back
How did others find their first full swap?
Just do what you want and are comfortable with. I found our first full swap was great, I felt no jealousy or regret but I'm not you so my experience is of no use to you.
I personally don't understand it when people say there's no way back if you feel jealous, why not? If you've agreed and are both 100% sure you want to try it and one of you finds it upsetting it's nobody's fault and you don't need to ever do it again. However if one of you has doubts that play on their mind more than just nerves but you go ahead anyway problems could arise. What I'm trying to say is if you're worried that there would be no way back swinging probably isn't a good idea. "
as Bandura and countless other social and interactionist phychologists have shown we moderate, modify and change our emotions to experence and situations . |
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