FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Thoughts on wheelchair user at parties?
Thoughts on wheelchair user at parties?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had a spinal cord injury when I was 18 leaving me unable to move my legs, and have to use a wheelchair to get around.
I've been to a few parties at AbFabs which is an amazing place, but I'm always worried I'm making people feel uncomfortable or awkward as it is a little unusual.
Could you give me your thoughts on the subject and please be as honest as you like, I really don't mind  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anyone feels uncomfortable about it, it's their problem, not yours.
I know that's simplistic, and even knowing that its their issue won't necessarily make you feel any better, but you have as much right to be there as anyone else. You don't need acceptance or permission by the non - disabled. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't make a difference to me and have seen a few wheelchair users at parties!
Plus it's all about the person and you're hot!! "
Thank you, lifted my confidence a lot! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you xx
I will definitely say hello, if you go to one of the parties that I'm at x"
Thanks I'm going to AbFabs this Saturday so if you're there it would be nice to say hi! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP you're hot!!  the fact that you're using a wheelchair wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
If you're a nice person, I'll like you. If you're hot, I'll fuck you... that's pretty much how it works for me.
Red xx |
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Why would it make any difference?
There's so much variety of people, shapes, sizes etc at clubs and people are generally very open - i can't imagine anyone at a club would have a problem with any disability - clubs are far more open minded and tolerant than the forum on here to be honest and you've not had any problems with the comments above I've noticed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP you're hot!! the fact that you're using a wheelchair wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
If you're a nice person, I'll like you. If you're hot, I'll fuck you... that's pretty much how it works for me.
Red xx"
Thanks so much, you're really hot too! Love your pictures |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would it make any difference?
There's so much variety of people, shapes, sizes etc at clubs and people are generally very open - i can't imagine anyone at a club would have a problem with any disability - clubs are far more open minded and tolerant than the forum on here to be honest and you've not had any problems with the comments above I've noticed "
Thank you! I'm a little unsure sometimes and I suppose it varies from person to person but everyone seems really positive which is amazing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"..... no problem at all ....
Have fun OP .... YOU sound like a really nice guy ......not many of you on fab .... "
Thank you very much, and great name |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Thank you xx
I will definitely say hello, if you go to one of the parties that I'm at x
Thanks I'm going to AbFabs this Saturday so if you're there it would be nice to say hi!"
I'll be at Playground Parties at Radlett this Saturday, but maybe catch you somewhere else sometime.... |
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By *teed99Man
over a year ago
Kettering |
At The Vanilla Alternative we welcome wheelchair users just as much as anyone else. There are permanent ramps to gain entry and after that, apart from the hotel rooms, everything else is on one level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At The Vanilla Alternative we welcome wheelchair users just as much as anyone else. There are permanent ramps to gain entry and after that, apart from the hotel rooms, everything else is on one level."
That's good to know. Such a shame it has to be spelt out that wheelchair users are welcome as much as anyone else, and not just a given. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun."
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does. |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does. "
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP you're hot!! the fact that you're using a wheelchair wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
If you're a nice person, I'll like you. If you're hot, I'll fuck you... that's pretty much how it works for me.
Red xx"
Agree with all of this! You are very hot Miss T x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn't bother us. If I'm honest I'd prob admire your bravery because we get really nervous going to these places and we don't have the extra issue of a wheelchair consider |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP you're hot!! the fact that you're using a wheelchair wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
If you're a nice person, I'll like you. If you're hot, I'll fuck you... that's pretty much how it works for me.
Red xx
Agree with all of this! You are very hot Miss T x"
Thank you very much Miss T!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't bother us. If I'm honest I'd prob admire your bravery because we get really nervous going to these places and we don't have the extra issue of a wheelchair consider "
Thank you very much, great photos btw! |
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"Wouldn't bother us. If I'm honest I'd prob admire your bravery because we get really nervous going to these places and we don't have the extra issue of a wheelchair consider
Thank you very much, great photos btw!"
Don't think I would notice the wheelchair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience "
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it. |
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"I had a spinal cord injury when I was 18 leaving me unable to move my legs, and have to use a wheelchair to get around.
I've been to a few parties at AbFabs which is an amazing place, but I'm always worried I'm making people feel uncomfortable or awkward as it is a little unusual.
Could you give me your thoughts on the subject and please be as honest as you like, I really don't mind "
We wouldn't have a problem with it, to us your still just a good looking guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't go to parties but I can't say it would bother me if I saw you there. A chair shouldn't hold anyone back.
I know a couple that use her hoist as a sex swing.
And I agree with the others. You're seriously hot. Or as a mate likes to say 'score out of 2,id give him one!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a spinal cord injury when I was 18 leaving me unable to move my legs, and have to use a wheelchair to get around.
I've been to a few parties at AbFabs which is an amazing place, but I'm always worried I'm making people feel uncomfortable or awkward as it is a little unusual.
Could you give me your thoughts on the subject and please be as honest as you like, I really don't mind "
Use it as a filter as you would on here, anyone who has issue is doing you a favour by keeping away , you wouldn't want to play with them anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too have a disability due to a horse riding accident I had 22yrs ago. Not as bad as yours, but I've got two joint replacements because of it and about to have a third. Although I can still walk, I am not flexible so there are only three different positions I can do..
If you believe in yourself, others will too, don't see your condition as a disability in this lifestyle but as a challenge in which to find ways so you don't miss out. Once you have found a comfortable way - stick to it, but you can also vary it a bit too.
Good luck, pity you're so out of my age range and so far away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's just a shame that people from normal life's don't see things as we do. Slightly different but our son (10 years old) as never been able to use his legs to walk. He was born with group b strep meningitis. Has a few health problem. Yet the looks he gets and coments that are said when we're out is unreal. He as a frame that is to try and get him to get some strength in his leg and lower back and to hopefully get him walking again the cruel comments we've heard is unbelievable. It's nice to see that your brave enough to go to party's and it's a pleasure to see that from the post on here you are more than welcome. Restores some faith back into people. |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it. "
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate. "
And less patronising twats |
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Sadly the world is full of ignorant people and the only thing we can do is try and educate them - everyone is entitled to enjoy life.
The majority of people will accept you for who you are, some will be embarrassed and some will be down right rude. We all have to deal with them.
Hold your head up and don't worry about what others think, rise above the ignorant and patronising comments and enjoy your life.
PS I actually saw you at Ab Fabs the other week and you are a seriously hot looking guy - next time I might even say hello lol xx |
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I agree with everything everyone has said....your HOT chatty and a nice person.....a few people come in wheelchairs.....and they have a great time.....my feet hurt sometimes might cadge a lift next time I see you there....have a great evening..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look gorgeous and no that's not me sucking up to you. Although I wouldn't mind lol.
You seem to have a lovely personality so I'd assume you're very easy to get on with.
If only you lived local! |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats "
Your tone throughout this post is poor! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly the world is full of ignorant people and the only thing we can do is try and educate them - everyone is entitled to enjoy life.
The majority of people will accept you for who you are, some will be embarrassed and some will be down right rude. We all have to deal with them.
Hold your head up and don't worry about what others think, rise above the ignorant and patronising comments and enjoy your life.
PS I actually saw you at Ab Fabs the other week and you are a seriously hot looking guy - next time I might even say hello lol xx"
Oh really?? Yes definitely say hi next time! And thanks so much for the encouraging words xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with everything everyone has said....your HOT chatty and a nice person.....a few people come in wheelchairs.....and they have a great time.....my feet hurt sometimes might cadge a lift next time I see you there....have a great evening..... "
Absolutely feel free, I can teach you to do wheelies haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!"
Yeah, I guess I should just be pathetically grateful |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!"
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main. "
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry. "
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am pretty sure, if I saw you in a club, your wheelchair would be tha last thing I would notice tbh...you are absolutely edible! and funny...if someone has a problem just because you are in a wheelchair then they would be someone to be avoided anyway...and they probably would be by others too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a spinal cord injury when I was 18 leaving me unable to move my legs, and have to use a wheelchair to get around.
I've been to a few parties at AbFabs which is an amazing place, but I'm always worried I'm making people feel uncomfortable or awkward as it is a little unusual.
Could you give me your thoughts on the subject and please be as honest as you like, I really don't mind "
You're an extremely hot looking guy, fabulous profile and seem like an open minded, cool guy. Personally that is what I see and would embrace.....gladly Your journey in life is truly defined by friendship, fun, love and acceptance by those who YOU spend time with. Everything else is insignificant. Live, laugh and enjoy  You're beautiful. Enjoy yourself, sexy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am pretty sure, if I saw you in a club, your wheelchair would be tha last thing I would notice tbh...you are absolutely edible! and funny...if someone has a problem just because you are in a wheelchair then they would be someone to be avoided anyway...and they probably would be by others too "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would feel uncomfortable and awkward at some clubs that are on different levels with tons of stairs because it makes it difficult for anyone not very mobile. Most of the clubs I've been to seem to be built that way for some reason. 
I relate to the person- you seem pretty cool OP and I bet you will be very popular. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that. "
You haven't patronised me because it's obvious that I don't need reassuring about my impairment and I'm the antithesis of what you seem to think a disabled person should behave like.
I'm not overly sensitive, I would like disabled people to be treated exactly the same as non disabled people are, with the same choices and the same dignity. That's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The fact that this question needs asking is a damming statement about our society !! your in a wheel chair by accident there are a lot of people in clubs who are twats by choice !!!! we know who we would like to spend our night with !! unless you turn out to be a twat too lol |
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You immediately, in your first post, attempted to turn the OPs relatively positive post into your own negative outburst. The lack of response was possibly down to the tone of your post. In this like so many posts you maintain your position of antagonist.
I would imagine there are few who would see you as different because of your chair... most would be more concerned with your attitude! |
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"The fact that this question needs asking is a damming statement about our society !! your in a wheel chair by accident there are a lot of people in clubs who are twats by choice !!!! we know who we would like to spend our night with !! unless you turn out to be a twat too lol "
The OP chose to ask because of his concerns, not in response to others expressing theirs or because others displayed any signs of awkwardness.
I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You immediately, in your first post, attempted to turn the OPs relatively positive post into your own negative outburst. The lack of response was possibly down to the tone of your post. In this like so many posts you maintain your position of antagonist.
I would imagine there are few who would see you as different because of your chair... most would be more concerned with your attitude!"
Well said! My thoughts exactly! |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that.
You haven't patronised me because it's obvious that I don't need reassuring about my impairment and I'm the antithesis of what you seem to think a disabled person should behave like.
I'm not overly sensitive, I would like disabled people to be treated exactly the same as non disabled people are, with the same choices and the same dignity. That's all. "
Wrong! I haven't patronised because I don't patronise unnecessarily, regardless. Actually we might be a little closer in thought than you give me credit for as I WILL treat you exactly the same as non disabled, please don't assume. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry. "
Sorry Lady Tissington, I honestly didn't ignore you, just didn't want to respond to everyone individually and spam it with my replies. I really appreciate your response to me and checked out your profile, I think you look gorgeous. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that.
You haven't patronised me because it's obvious that I don't need reassuring about my impairment and I'm the antithesis of what you seem to think a disabled person should behave like.
I'm not overly sensitive, I would like disabled people to be treated exactly the same as non disabled people are, with the same choices and the same dignity. That's all.
Wrong! I haven't patronised because I don't patronise unnecessarily, regardless. Actually we might be a little closer in thought than you give me credit for as I WILL treat you exactly the same as non disabled, please don't assume. "
Then don't assume I'm overly sensitive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
Sorry Lady Tissington, I honestly didn't ignore you, just didn't want to respond to everyone individually and spam it with my replies. I really appreciate your response to me and checked out your profile, I think you look gorgeous. xx"
Not an issue |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats "
you always come across as so aggressive all the while. |
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Op, you have a great profile, nice looking and a great attitude, and attitude is what its all about.
I dont think many are going to really notice your a wheelchair user if this is how you are all the while |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats you always come across as so aggressive all the while."
I don't feel the need to be personal about you. As you don't like them, why don't you ignore my posts. |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats you always come across as so aggressive all the while.
I don't feel the need to be personal about you. As you don't like them, why don't you ignore my posts. "
it was an observation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it. "
Sorry Lady Tissington but I don't agree with some of your comments, I don't know where you're coming from with your comment that society teaches that disabled people " should be grateful for inclusion" a lot has changed in recent years and disabled persons "rights and needs" have been recognised and a lot of progress has been made,
It is you who is constantly mentioning your wheelchair in the forum, but you don't like anyone to ask you why you need it, maybe they are just being polite and showing a caring attitude. If you don't want to be treated differently from able bodied members stop drawing attention to your disability and wheelchair, just mention it discreetly before meets. Seems you don't want others to mention it but you are always bringing it up yourself.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Sorry Lady Tissington but I don't agree with some of your comments, I don't know where you're coming from with your comment that society teaches that disabled people " should be grateful for inclusion" a lot has changed in recent years and disabled persons "rights and needs" have been recognised and a lot of progress has been made,
It is you who is constantly mentioning your wheelchair in the forum, but you don't like anyone to ask you why you need it, maybe they are just being polite and showing a caring attitude. If you don't want to be treated differently from able bodied members stop drawing attention to your disability and wheelchair, just mention it discreetly before meets. Seems you don't want others to mention it but you are always bringing it up yourself.
"
I'm sorry you think that. |
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"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Sorry Lady Tissington but I don't agree with some of your comments, I don't know where you're coming from with your comment that society teaches that disabled people " should be grateful for inclusion" a lot has changed in recent years and disabled persons "rights and needs" have been recognised and a lot of progress has been made,
It is you who is constantly mentioning your wheelchair in the forum, but you don't like anyone to ask you why you need it, maybe they are just being polite and showing a caring attitude. If you don't want to be treated differently from able bodied members stop drawing attention to your disability and wheelchair, just mention it discreetly before meets. Seems you don't want others to mention it but you are always bringing it up yourself.
"
couldnt agree more, |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that.
You haven't patronised me because it's obvious that I don't need reassuring about my impairment and I'm the antithesis of what you seem to think a disabled person should behave like.
I'm not overly sensitive, I would like disabled people to be treated exactly the same as non disabled people are, with the same choices and the same dignity. That's all.
Wrong! I haven't patronised because I don't patronise unnecessarily, regardless. Actually we might be a little closer in thought than you give me credit for as I WILL treat you exactly the same as non disabled, please don't assume.
Then don't assume I'm overly sensitive "
Wrong again! It's a 'conclusion' based upon your acclumitive posts in this thread (I'm not going to resort to a silly tongue bob). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it.
Bi fem here. I find it quite shocking that even such a thread exists. There is no issue here. People are people of all shapes sizes and abilities. Yes I am non disabled but as the parent of a child with disability I have experienced the ignorance of non disabled people. No one has the right to judge. We are all on an ability spectrum. I hope my son is able to experience more acceptance than what is present in the current climate.
And less patronising twats
Your tone throughout this post is poor!
I (he) have to agree and bit my tongue a few times as the thread is a good natured one, one which the OP is benefiting from. I haven't seen this 'grateful for the overt acceptance' displayed here as alluded to, however a bitter tone I have. Sorry to derail OP, we've enjoyed your thread in the main.
I didn't once to refer to the op. I directly addressed him in my first post on this thread, which he ignored, but that's ok.
I'm not sure how he's benefitting from the patronising posts, but I'm sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy reassuring a person that he's accepted despite being a wheelchair user, even though he has as many rights as anyone else to acceptance. I despair at the continued lack of understanding by society as a whole, including some disabled people. All this attitude does is perpetuate the notion that disabled people are to be pitied, admired, patronised. You wouldn't dream of treating another member of a minority group in this way.
I don't expect to change yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can't say nothing about something that is so important. I'm sorry I've clearly made you angry.
No, I'm not angry. Surely by your own notion I would have responded to you in the same as you put it 'patronising way'. You wouldn't get any different treatment from me in public like anyone else. I haven't seen the patronising by others in this thread you've mentioned, either because I'm socially and/or subconsciously conditionioned to do so or you're being over sensitive. I see a good thread with people responding honestly, some maybe over nice but nothing more than that in my opinion, sorry you find angst in that.
You haven't patronised me because it's obvious that I don't need reassuring about my impairment and I'm the antithesis of what you seem to think a disabled person should behave like.
I'm not overly sensitive, I would like disabled people to be treated exactly the same as non disabled people are, with the same choices and the same dignity. That's all.
Wrong! I haven't patronised because I don't patronise unnecessarily, regardless. Actually we might be a little closer in thought than you give me credit for as I WILL treat you exactly the same as non disabled, please don't assume.
Then don't assume I'm overly sensitive
Wrong again! It's a 'conclusion' based upon your acclumitive posts in this thread (I'm not going to resort to a silly tongue bob)."
As was mine. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
you are a positive man, with a positive attitude towards yourself and other people, including those without a wheelchair..be inclusive and you will be included..same as everyone else..
go get em, tiger xx have a blast |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You immediately, in your first post, attempted to turn the OPs relatively positive post into your own negative outburst. The lack of response was possibly down to the tone of your post. In this like so many posts you maintain your position of antagonist.
I would imagine there are few who would see you as different because of your chair... most would be more concerned with your attitude!"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a spinal cord injury when I was 18 leaving me unable to move my legs, and have to use a wheelchair to get around.
I've been to a few parties at AbFabs which is an amazing place, but I'm always worried I'm making people feel uncomfortable or awkward as it is a little unusual.
Could you give me your thoughts on the subject and please be as honest as you like, I really don't mind "
I would treat you exactly the same as i treat everyone else when i first meet them. The only thing that would alter that would be your behaviour and attitude but then thats the same rule for everyone i meet
Btw im also disabled. I have limited mobility and constant pain although that is improving after my last operation thankfully. I have never felt that im treated differently by others in the swinging world apart from them helping me if im struggling to move
I hope you have lots of fun |
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"I would feel uncomfortable and awkward at some clubs that are on different levels with tons of stairs because it makes it difficult for anyone not very mobile. Most of the clubs I've been to seem to be built that way for some reason.
I relate to the person- you seem pretty cool OP and I bet you will be very popular. "
Quest in Leeds was specially designed to be wheelchair accessible everywhere. OP I hope you have lots of fun.
Sally |
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I love your profile OP
Dated a guy for a few years when I was younger who was in a wheelchair some of the time. Adverse reactions just give you the heads up they aren't the people you want to associate with anyway I'd say. Have fun.
Bee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would feel uncomfortable and awkward at some clubs that are on different levels with tons of stairs because it makes it difficult for anyone not very mobile. Most of the clubs I've been to seem to be built that way for some reason.
I relate to the person- you seem pretty cool OP and I bet you will be very popular.
Quest in Leeds was specially designed to be wheelchair accessible everywhere. OP I hope you have lots of fun.
Sally"
That's really good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both Private Club and R3tro club in Midlands have easy wheelchair access and have seen users enjoying themselves there. Disability should never affect or stop a person from having fun.
To be fair, if a person is at a club, it's unlikely its their impairment that stops then from enjoying themselves. More likely it's going to be the other people there.
My inability to walk doesn't disable me. Lack of inclusiveness does.
Have you had any issues at clubs in terms of people behaving like that?
I'd be surprised as I'd always thought the club scene to be one of the more enlightened but clearly in this regard can't be in a position to comment from experience
Many are inaccessible. And many people consider me 'brave' or tell me they'd have no problem with me being in a chair, as if I'd care if they did have a problem. I've also had the 'good for you enjoying life' as if I need their permission to have a sex life. Also 'what's with the chair?' like I have no right to privacy. Would they ask a non disabled person such a personal question?
Non disabled people rarely get it. As is evidenced on this thread. Unfortunately a lot of disabled people feel that have to be grateful for the overt 'acceptance'. Because society teaches us all that disabled people *should* be grateful for inclusion. Imagine saying any of that stuff to a black person, or other minority.
Fortunately not everyone is like that, and many guys don't even mention it. "
So if you saw someone with a broken arm you would ask how they did it I would. Like my other post said we've got a disabled child and we much prefer people to come over and ask him or us about his disability And show interest in the person he is and being disabled and in a wheelchair is part of the person he is. Also if your about to have some fun with someone maybe they ask so they no if they need to be careful or avoid touching area that could be sore. If you don't care what others think and acceptance should just be the same for disabled people as anyone else then why make a big deal out of people wanting to know about your chair isn't that them finding out about you as a person your the one that doesn't seem to be very acceptable.
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