So, we have been together nealry 15yrs, we are married, our sex life us brilliant, but we both want to try some new stuff in the bedroom, that needs extra hands and bodyparts haha
We are shy at first, and pretty nervous about bringing other people into our marriage. Do you guys have any tips for first timers? We would like to get to know people a bit first to break the tension, but dont want it to feel forced. Would anyone recomend popping to a club for a look, and maybe a little bit play, see how it feels, before getting someone in our bed? |
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"Social meet first..."
Yeh we are deffo gonna meet people before we decide who we want to join us. With the wife being pregnant, it gives us plenty time to actually get talking to people, see if we click |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we have been together nealry 15yrs, we are married, our sex life us brilliant, but we both want to try some new stuff in the bedroom, that needs extra hands and bodyparts haha
We are shy at first, and pretty nervous about bringing other people into our marriage. Do you guys have any tips for first timers? We would like to get to know people a bit first to break the tension, but dont want it to feel forced. Would anyone recomend popping to a club for a look, and maybe a little bit play, see how it feels, before getting someone in our bed? "
most will recommend a club but i recommend a house party   |
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"So, we have been together nealry 15yrs, we are married, our sex life us brilliant, but we both want to try some new stuff in the bedroom, that needs extra hands and bodyparts haha
We are shy at first, and pretty nervous about bringing other people into our marriage. Do you guys have any tips for first timers? We would like to get to know people a bit first to break the tension, but dont want it to feel forced. Would anyone recomend popping to a club for a look, and maybe a little bit play, see how it feels, before getting someone in our bed? most will recommend a club but i recommend a house party "
hahaha just dive in at the deep end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we have been together nealry 15yrs, we are married, our sex life us brilliant, but we both want to try some new stuff in the bedroom, that needs extra hands and bodyparts haha
We are shy at first, and pretty nervous about bringing other people into our marriage. Do you guys have any tips for first timers? We would like to get to know people a bit first to break the tension, but dont want it to feel forced. Would anyone recomend popping to a club for a look, and maybe a little bit play, see how it feels, before getting someone in our bed? most will recommend a club but i recommend a house party hahaha just dive in at the deep end"
yes bodies everywhere |
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"Sounds fun in theory, but would it not be a bit full on for our first try at anyrhingyou either like it or you dont lol"
Ahhh thats the thing, we like the idea of it but thinking about it and doing it are slightly diffrent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A social meet first, if you get on well with the other couple and enjoy a relaxed, no pressure meet you have something to build on. Any second meet is in your comfort zone as you’ve met and know the couple and from there it will develop naturally.
We’ve had same anxieties but found this way works good for us.
Good luck and have fun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi! We are pretty new, long marriage and were in your shoes just a few weeks ago.
Going to clubs is great for socially meetings but also helps desensitise you a bit to the whole world of it.
I find insisting on social meets s out those who you won’t want, but insisting on them at a club is great as you meet and if you don’t connect everyone has a backup right there for the evening.
Chatting with lots helps. Talking to each other about everything is essential. Feel free to message and ask us anything at all. The most helpful thing for us has been other people who did just that for us. Have so much fun!! -Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And don’t be discouraged by people who don’t want to chat and strike up a friendship. Many won’t. But you also don’t have to take anything that comes along at all. Your pace your rules. |
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" How soon after the baby is born will you be looking to meet ? You will be tired with night feeds. Will you be breastfeeding? Have you someone who can babysit ?"
Ah it wont be for a while, this is our 2nd child, sonwe know what to expect in some respects. It could be 6 months for allnwe know, justbwen we think the time is right, and obv the person. Also my wife would like to get back to her normal size so she feels comfortable with people seeing and touching her body |
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By *obka3Couple
over a year ago
bournemouth |
Many clubs run a social night which is ideal for new couples, while plenty of swinging will go on, there isnt any expectation, talk to lots of people and pick their brains, most are really friendly, hot tubs are great places to meet others with no clothes on, also no harm in just playing with each other to begin with while you build confidence, the hardest part is finding another couple that you both find attractive, dont take one for the team it will leave feeling as though you want to stop swaping, most importantly have fun and dont take it too seriously, remember we were all new once |
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Thanks everyone. Its nice to know theres no pressure to do anything straight away. Looking forward to getting into it, even if it takes us a while to get there. The wife is preg at the moment so we are waiting til after the baby is born obv and we are both back to having fit bodys hahaha even talking about it and talking to people feels like its made us a stronger couple, like we are alot more open with eachother. Loving the experiance so far even tho we are nowhere near to actually doing it  |
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We'd definitely recommend a club visit! Go with the intention of not playing. Chat to people, have a look around and the talk about what you've experienced. It's a lot less nerve wracking once you're inside.
A big part of swinging is networking and making friends. It's easier then to have people recommended to you based on what you're after. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I think a club would be a good choice for you too. There's no pressure to do anything, but there will be things going on around you. You'll get to see what the reality is like before you make any commitment.
There's also the option of getting naked in the hot tub, and if you're feeling brave, playing with each other. You can see how comfortable you are with other people around.
You've got a choice of two clubs near you. I don't know Shhh, so can't comment on it. ClubF is relaxed and friendly, and I would not hesitate to recommend it for your first experience. |
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I think the actual going to a club will be the biggest challenge for us as we are quite shy at first. Like im not saying we want to go and get straight into anything, could we litterally go and just watch first, maybe play with eachother if we were feeling it, and not feel stupid for not playing straight away. We dont want to just dive righ into it, incase we go to far and the other actually doesnt like it, last thing we want is for it to affect our realationship. Might seem silly to some of yous asking stuff like this, just dont want to risk anything. We are a strong couple, but we have necer tried this yet haha |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It's certainly not silly or stupid. It's a big step for a couple to make (some things are so much easier for us singles!), and one you want to take some care with. It might turn out that everything is great and you'll wonder why you waited so long before jumping in. Or you might decide that it's not right for you, and not want to go any further. The only way to know is to try.
There's no need to be nervous about going to a club. It's natural, and most people do, but all that disappears as soon as you're there.
If you don't like it you can just leave and never return. In ClubF there's no nudity or play in the bar, so you won't even be confronted with that until you choose to go for a wander. You're always in control and can take it at a pace that feels comfortable. |
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Oh yeh it would be way easier if we were just a fresh couple, but 15 years without straying from our marriage to then contemplating having sex with other people is weird yet exciting. Our sex life is and always has been amazing, its just the trying some new stuff element we want to experiance. |
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