FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Staring when at a club
Staring when at a club
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits. "
Isn't this what gets most women pissed off? And what gets most men a bad name about visiting clubs? Staring even when apologising for it is still going be staring! Could you not make eye contact and make some conversation? |
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"Maybe I should of used better wording, I do look then look away as not to offend. Maybe staring was incorrect.
Happy fabbing"
Why not go over and chat to the lady? You may get the chance to do more than just look! |
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Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights."
I can assure you I’m not one of those follow you around types, that’s just creepy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even more nervous about my first visit to club shhh tonight now!. I'm a nice bloke but I think I will suffer from sensory overload and don't want to be one of those guys you're talking about! |
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I'm incredibly shy and have always hated being stared at, so much so some people at school used to do it to wind me up 
I like clubs but being followed around is horrible as said above. I haven't been as a single woman yet and the staring thought just puts me off. |
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"Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights."
We also experienced this and it is very off putting. We didn't find that atmosphere very sexy at all and opted to leave after a drink and go back to our hotel for our own fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We enjoy being watched, but being stared at like you are walking porn isn’t nice! The other evening, we had a nice interaction with another couple and some single guys were being appreciative of the spectacle. That was fine. Another guy said do you mind if I watch while I had my partner’s wonderful mouth on me. That was fine too.
If you are going to look, be engaged, don’t just be a wanking zombie!  |
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I think there are total different types of looks/stares and it's also very situation specific. For example if your doing something in a public area naturally people are going to enjoy watching. But if you just sat chilling out and someone is staring intently at your eyes that has a whole different vibe. Plus there is a different between taking a quick gander, looking at the whole of you/what going on and someone trying to retain hard unrelenting uninvited eye contact. No harm in looking but it's really about the manor its conducted, situation and intent. I think most people have a sense of what and where is ok or not (whether their bothered it's ok or not is a different matter).
I know a few women who have come across men who just intensely stare at them and try and maintain eye contact. Almost in a way that comes across aggressive as if their intention is to make the woman feel uncomfortable and invaded. Its can be almost like an act of passive aggressive non physical and non verbal violence. And that is not cool and smack of being a bully. |
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"Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights.
Totally agree. We’ve been to all the clubs near us but can’t get used to the staring and following. Wondered if it was us being overly sensitive but clearly not. Doubt we will go again or maybe try a couples only night as mentioned.
We also experienced this and it is very off putting. We didn't find that atmosphere very sexy at all and opted to leave after a drink and go back to our hotel for our own fun."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't go to clubs. But I get men staring and following me outside when I'm fully clothed. Let me tell you it's not a great feeling. I can't imagine what it's like when you're naked inside the club. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Looking and smiling are ok when at a club but staring is very off putting. We were at a club a few weeks ago and started playing with another couple all the time a single guy sat at the end of the bed staring and wanking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looking and smiling are ok when at a club but staring is very off putting. We were at a club a few weeks ago and started playing with another couple all the time a single guy sat at the end of the bed staring and wanking. "
I saw a lot of that last night, I watched 2 guys and 1 girl briefly and thankfully for me they asked me to join in |
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Staring is freaky.
Following is worse.
Look and smile is good but seriously all you guys have to do is speak. Ask if it is OK to watch and attitudes towards you will change. You will no longer be a wanking zombie and if they want someone to join in you will be at the top of the list.
You could even take it one step further and ask if it is OK to touch/ join in. Maybe you will get a Polite no thanx sometimes but I can guarantee you will get more action than the wanking zombies.
But one thing that will not go down well and posdibly exclude you from any action is just grabbing a handful without any communication whatsoever, that is just rude.
So guys, set yourself apart from the crowd and get more action by speaking to the couples. Simples. We prefer a bit of banter while we play too, so if you have a sense of humour bring that along too, it works a treat. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I am so pleased that my local club you do not get people following you. It's stopped me going to bigger clubs, because of the wanking zombies.
People are given a tour and acceptable watching distance and club etiquette is explained to everybody , even if they have been to 10 different club's before.
I recently had a chap staring at me and looking me up and down. I was sat at the bar. It made me feel uncomfortable. I turned and stared at him and looked him up and down in silence. Then explained that's what he had been doing to me. He apologised and walked off and I got a round of applause off people near by.
Sometimes guys are unaware of how their actions make you feel. So ask them to stop what they are doing or suggest what you would prefer them to do instead. |
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Last night at my local club we were sat at the bar and I was subjected to being stared at! So glad I was wearing my silky shrug as I would have been uncomfortable. Then we were followed upstairs by a single guy right into the private room we were going to use, he was told ‘private time no thanks’, he argued until we shut the door on him! Awful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a similar experience with three Asian guys recently at a club. Staring as if that’s the most erotic thing ever. Then they followed and even starting touching without asking. Needless to say none of them got any action at all that night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not just the single guys where following is concerned, we've been followed in clubs and it is such a turn off, to a point we have left, its find to let your intentions be made clear but this is beyond. Perhaps we are too polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being followed is annoying but being watched is fine with us. We had sex in the main bar at cupids earlier this year on one of the sofas. We attracted quite a crowd and it was very hot being watched.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being followed is annoying but being watched is fine with us. We had sex in the main bar at cupids earlier this year on one of the sofas. We attracted quite a crowd and it was very hot being watched. "
I always ask if I can watch before I go within 1 metre of an active couple. For those who have allowed me to join them I thank you x. |
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I love being watched....
I’m very much the exhibitionist, and have no issue with people watching and staring at me... as long as it wasn’t in a creepy way!! For me it’s quite empowering, and makes me feel sexy  |
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"Even more nervous about my first visit to club shhh tonight now!. I'm a nice bloke but I think I will suffer from sensory overload and don't want to be one of those guys you're talking about!"
How was your visit to Shhh Geordieboy? Hope you kept your eyes at the appropriate places! |
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"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits. "
Creepy and no need for it. Learn to control your behaviour. Apologising in advance doesn't make up for your lack of social skills. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even more nervous about my first visit to club shhh tonight now!. I'm a nice bloke but I think I will suffer from sensory overload and don't want to be one of those guys you're talking about!
How was your visit to Shhh Geordieboy? Hope you kept your eyes at the appropriate places! "
Enjoyed it an had the pleasure of watching a gorgeous couple playing. Three other guys were what you call wanking zombies and even I was creeped out. I kept my hands to myself and enjoyed the show. I can definitely see why it's off putting to couples. I did get felt up and a snog from a stunning young very curvaceous lady in the jacuzzi which was nice. Not bad for a guy with serious confidence issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even more nervous about my first visit to club shhh tonight now!. I'm a nice bloke but I think I will suffer from sensory overload and don't want to be one of those guys you're talking about!
How was your visit to Shhh Geordieboy? Hope you kept your eyes at the appropriate places!
Enjoyed it an had the pleasure of watching a gorgeous couple playing. Three other guys were what you call wanking zombies and even I was creeped out. I kept my hands to myself and enjoyed the show. I can definitely see why it's off putting to couples. I did get felt up and a snog from a stunning young very curvaceous lady in the jacuzzi which was nice. Not bad for a guy with serious confidence issues. "
And I must add I chatted to said couple before they put on a show and afterwards and they were very nice. Think they knew I was very nervous but I was respectful and that goes a long way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Adults go to adult only venues, dress provocatively and take hump when looked at......it’s a bit rich
One persons look is another persons ogle which in turn could be a letch and progress to a stare.
If you are uncomfortable you need to have the gumption to get the staff to have a word and sort it out.
If they don’t , take your custom elsewhere and tell them why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Adults go to adult only venues, dress provocatively and take hump when looked at......it’s a bit rich
One persons look is another persons ogle which in turn could be a letch and progress to a stare.
If you are uncomfortable you need to have the gumption to get the staff to have a word and sort it out.
If they don’t , take your custom elsewhere and tell them why"
There are private rooms for this very reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be watched is fine, to be followed and stared at not so
Last time I attended Townhouse my fwb and I drew quite a crowd in the couples area, ended up being followed around. Did not mind too much because I was with someone and staff are all over that place.
I never noticed a guy get too close to me and staff appeared to renind him to step away, wait to be invited.
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
To the folk being stared at , tell the person stating that it makes you feel uncomfortable and ask them to go somewhere else .
If people are playing in an open area, I would presume they don't mind being watched. If they don't want to be watched, then they should find a private room.
If someone's behaviour is upsetting you, tell the person or tell staff.
If you go to the club more than once, and the following around or being touched without permission seems the norm for that club, then go elsewhere and let the club know why you won't be returning .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Adults go to adult only venues, dress provocatively and take hump when looked at......it’s a bit rich
One persons look is another persons ogle which in turn could be a letch and progress to a stare.
If you are uncomfortable you need to have the gumption to get the staff to have a word and sort it out.
If they don’t , take your custom elsewhere and tell them why"
This thread is hilarious, people getting the hump for being stared at whilst dressed provocatively and engaging in sexual acts in open areas, go to a private area, clubs seems to be full of people who think they are sexually adventurous when in fact they are sexually repressed |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Adults go to adult only venues, dress provocatively and take hump when looked at......it’s a bit rich
One persons look is another persons ogle which in turn could be a letch and progress to a stare.
If you are uncomfortable you need to have the gumption to get the staff to have a word and sort it out.
If they don’t , take your custom elsewhere and tell them why
This thread is hilarious, people getting the hump for being stared at whilst dressed provocatively and engaging in sexual acts in open areas, go to a private area, clubs seems to be full of people who think they are sexually adventurous when in fact they are sexually repressed"
As a single woman, a guy sitting less than two foot away, looking directly at you for several minutes, in complete silence is uncomfortable.
No smile, no conversation, just weird. But I get what you are saying. |
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We had an idiot annoy us the last time we went to a club, it was a bdsm event so we presumed everyone would have the respect usually found in the scene. Unfortunately single guys from here are allowed to attend and he was one. He did nothing but stare all night and follow us like a lost sheep. We told the mistress who run the event and she had a word. However when we were leaving he followed us into the changing room and still carried on. Rest assured if he’s at the next event If the staff don’t ban him if it happens then he will be getting a proper warning from us |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Looking and smiling are ok when at a club but staring is very off putting. We were at a club a few weeks ago and started playing with another couple all the time a single guy sat at the end of the bed staring and wanking. "
I was in a couples room with one of my men and there was some single guy came in, wanking. Proceeded to sit on the bed and try to join in. He wondered why I kicked off and kicked him out. All the time complaining "but I can I can"...
'I'm sure you can buddy, I can also kick you where it hurts even though we aren't in a dungeon room right?!'
Properly killed our mood |
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"Looking and smiling are ok when at a club but staring is very off putting. We were at a club a few weeks ago and started playing with another couple all the time a single guy sat at the end of the bed staring and wanking.
I was in a couples room with one of my men and there was some single guy came in, wanking. Proceeded to sit on the bed and try to join in. He wondered why I kicked off and kicked him out. All the time complaining "but I can I can"...
'I'm sure you can buddy, I can also kick you where it hurts even though we aren't in a dungeon room right?!'
Properly killed our mood"
This is what puts us off playing at a club. Don’t think I (Tammy) wouldn’t be able to stop myself kicking them in the balls |
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"I wana go to a club but get too nervous and self conscious if people stare and stalk, especially men you find very unattractive. Makes me uncomfortable and unconfident.. Shall i still go? "
Yes of course, don’t let some men potentially ruin your experience of clubs, just report them to staff and they should be dealt with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wana go to a club but get too nervous and self conscious if people stare and stalk, especially men you find very unattractive. Makes me uncomfortable and unconfident.. Shall i still go? "
Find a nice guy or two and find a private room and have fun.x |
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By *STWO65Couple
over a year ago
MIDLANDS |
"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits. "
Maybe a club is not the right place for you?? |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits.
Maybe a club is not the right place for you??"
why...? Honestly curious as surely looking at others is how you decide if you want to approach them..
And to be fair if you are at a club naked your going to get looked at |
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"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits.
Maybe a club is not the right place for you?? why...? Honestly curious as surely looking at others is how you decide if you want to approach them..
And to be fair if you are at a club naked your going to get looked at"
Being looked at and stared at are two different things! Staring is creepy and unacceptable behaviour! |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits.
Maybe a club is not the right place for you?? why...? Honestly curious as surely looking at others is how you decide if you want to approach them..
And to be fair if you are at a club naked your going to get looked at
Being looked at and stared at are two different things! Staring is creepy and unacceptable behaviour! "
cant say ive ever found anyone looking at me in a club creepy.. but then I sit and people watch.. and cant say ive ever noticed anyone looking in a way id say ia staring... to be fair one persons admiring is another's staring |
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By *STWO65Couple
over a year ago
MIDLANDS |
"Hi all, I hope it’s not just me but when I’m at a club I can’t help but stare at all the amazing ladies who are walking about. I find nothing more arousing than the female form and I can’t help myself, I try to look away as not to alarm them but seeing a naked lady is such a turn on.
I apologise if I’ve annoyed anyone and in advance for any future club visits.
Maybe a club is not the right place for you?? why...? Honestly curious as surely looking at others is how you decide if you want to approach them..
And to be fair if you are at a club naked your going to get looked at
Being looked at and stared at are two different things! Staring is creepy and unacceptable behaviour! "
Our thoughts exactly! |
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By *STWO65Couple
over a year ago
MIDLANDS |
"We see lots of people giving advice about what to do in a club.
Have all the people giving advice actually been in one??
Just curious.
We’ve been to clubs "
And us.
We would of course never name and shame, but there are people giving advice on how to behave in a club when they have never ever been inside one.
How can you give advice about something you personally don't know about? |
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"We see lots of people giving advice about what to do in a club.
Have all the people giving advice actually been in one??
Just curious.
We’ve been to clubs
And us.
We would of course never name and shame, but there are people giving advice on how to behave in a club when they have never ever been inside one.
How can you give advice about something you personally don't know about?"
Exactly!
I’ve been to clubs a lot......both alone and with my playmate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We see lots of people giving advice about what to do in a club.
Have all the people giving advice actually been in one??
Just curious.
We’ve been to clubs
And us.
We would of course never name and shame, but there are people giving advice on how to behave in a club when they have never ever been inside one.
How can you give advice about something you personally don't know about?"
I have and the so called wanking zombies even creeped me out! I enjoyed watching a gorgeous couple but that was it,I just enjoyed the show.I'm just trying to build my confidence at the moment so watching seemed like the right option for me. If I ever thought I was being creepy I would be so ashamed I probably wouldn't return. I also like the social aspect of the scene so not personally bothered if anything happens as already made some new friends |
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"We see lots of people giving advice about what to do in a club.
Have all the people giving advice actually been in one??
Just curious.
We’ve been to clubs
And us.
We would of course never name and shame, but there are people giving advice on how to behave in a club when they have never ever been inside one.
How can you give advice about something you personally don't know about?"
How do you know they've never been to one? |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"We see lots of people giving advice about what to do in a club.
Have all the people giving advice actually been in one??
Just curious."
I often give advise about club's and yes I have attended 6 or 7 in the UK. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights."
Only happened to me once, but being followed is definitely not enjoyable. A guy followed me into the loos and proceeded to try and stroke my backside..I had to tell him where to go more forcefully that I would have liked. I do try and not stare though: |
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"Staring is uncomfortable...being followed is even worse. We have only been on a single guy night once and at one point we had guys just following us throughout the club without saying a word. It made the club feel seedy which isn't something we have felt at couples nights."
So you've been to chams in Newport then!
Steve just tells them now if they're bothering us and they tend to take the hint. |
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"We had a similar experience with three Asian guys recently at a club. Staring as if that’s the most erotic thing ever. Then they followed and even starting touching without asking. Needless to say none of them got any action at all that night. "
We didn’t really need to know what ethnicity they were but Thankyou ?? |
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"We had a similar experience with three Asian guys recently at a club. Staring as if that’s the most erotic thing ever. Then they followed and even starting touching without asking. Needless to say none of them got any action at all that night.
We didn’t really need to know what ethnicity they were but Thankyou ??"
Think I had the same three Asian guys do the same with me last Friday at Pandora’s..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a similar experience with three Asian guys recently at a club. Staring as if that’s the most erotic thing ever. Then they followed and even starting touching without asking. Needless to say none of them got any action at all that night.
We didn’t really need to know what ethnicity they were but Thankyou ??
Think I had the same three Asian guys do the same with me last Friday at Pandora’s....."
Racist comment of the day!  strange how ethnicity has been mentioned.
Really the same 3 Asians! Apart from the fact you constantly moan about people at clubs to assume it was the same 3 guys is pretty pathetic |
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