FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Am I doing something wrong?
Am I doing something wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello everyone
It's great to be part a group of like minded people. It truly is.
I wonder though if I am doing something out of the ordinary or simply wrong. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
I'm single, would like to push my boundaries and would like to visit some clubs. I like the idea of forming a swinging alliance with a willing and interest female.
Currently, nobody seems interested. Not 100% sure why? Please help!
Happy swinging x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi, you have only been here for 3 weeks so it is early days.
Your profile isn't bad but it doesn't really stand out from the crowd. No idea what your messages are like but make them relevant and interesting rather than something that goes unnoticed.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks sunshine!
I try to be to the point in what I like it in response to a profile. If I'm honest I just want to be perceived as genuine and not some psycho or freak (I hear stories). I confident no one was offended by any message I have sent.
I just assumed it was down to verifications. Seems a little catch 22. However, you are right. Very new here and everyone has been lovely so far. A deleted message is a sign of no interest etc.
Maybe time will tell? Thanks for your reply! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks sunshine!
I try to be to the point in what I like it in response to a profile. If I'm honest I just want to be perceived as genuine and not some psycho or freak (I hear stories). I confident no one was offended by any message I have sent.
I just assumed it was down to verifications. Seems a little catch 22. However, you are right. Very new here and everyone has been lovely so far. A deleted message is a sign of no interest etc.
Maybe time will tell? Thanks for your reply!"
Your profile reads you have top tendencies but you are considerate , what do you mean by this?. I was under the impression top/bottom refers to a preference of a gay/bi man but your profile is straight x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Lickandsuck
I was referring to the more dominating role of sex. I seem to always want to take over or take control during sex/play. This isn't constant, however usually ends up that way.
I realised now I have borrowed a word from gay culture but I was meaning it in a BDSM manner.
I shall amend accordingly. Thank you for your reply xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Lickandsuck
I was referring to the more dominating role of sex. I seem to always want to take over or take control during sex/play. This isn't constant, however usually ends up that way.
I realised now I have borrowed a word from gay culture but I was meaning it in a BDSM manner.
I shall amend accordingly. Thank you for your reply xx"
I have sent you a message x |
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By *tyoursCouple
over a year ago
southampton |
Depress yourself do a search of lady's and couples seeking single guys in a ten mile radius of you ....you're in for a shock i bet ....so your up against all those other profiles .... Nothing wrong with you its just the numbers are against you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey I know what you mean. I'm in the same boat. Wonder what I could do to improve my appeal. "
OK, in my opinion you look miserable in your photo, yet you say you're a happy chappy.
The profile doesn't tell me anything about you, about what you're looking for on here and what you can offer. You need to expand it a lot. Show this happy person  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate you aint doing nothing wrong Trust me iv been here for 4 months now and the only meets I get are single males constantly messageing me I don't mind but prefer my women. It's not even a numbers game I think although it counts towards the unsucces but iv found women say there free and looking to meet a single male, you message them with anice and polite message with everything they ask for and they completly ignore you and then turns out there not meeting. Haven't met any genuine women here yet so if there are any make tyourself known prove me wrong. Anyhow mate all I can say is chill and relax something will happen might take months but im sure itll happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks sunshine!
I try to be to the point in what I like it in response to a profile. If I'm honest I just want to be perceived as genuine and not some psycho or freak (I hear stories). I confident no one was offended by any message I have sent.
I just assumed it was down to verifications. Seems a little catch 22. However, you are right. Very new here and everyone has been lovely so far. A deleted message is a sign of no interest etc.
Maybe time will tell? Thanks for your reply!"
Go ok Web cam in the chat rooms for an hour or so and get veried that way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate you aint doing nothing wrong Trust me iv been here for 4 months now and the only meets I get are single males constantly messageing me I don't mind but prefer my women. It's not even a numbers game I think although it counts towards the unsucces but iv found women say there free and looking to meet a single male, you message them with anice and polite message with everything they ask for and they completly ignore you and then turns out there not meeting. Haven't met any genuine women here yet so if there are any make tyourself known prove me wrong. Anyhow mate all I can say is chill and relax something will happen might take months but im sure itll happen."
Spot on and same here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, ignore the pessimists. You will see many successful single males on the site.
If you can't go to a club or don't want to, then your profile is all that people can go on. I don't want to sound over-critical, but for someone claiming to be intelligent and articulate, your profile does not back that up. Check your grammar. More importantly, show character. Make it unique and enticing. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"doesn't really matter what you put on your profile no one reads them lol"
Ladies do read profiles and check photos and verifications. But we do it in ninja mode so it doesn't show when we look. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it would be great if there will be ppl willing to help others creating a profile which catches other people's eye and brings out the beat of them.
The problem is that there are a lot of ppl (men, women and couples) who can offer a great time but they don't know how properly to describe themselves!
Making a nice profile about urself is a talent like any other talents so just because someone doesn't have that talent doesn't mean they can't offer a fabulous time in bed!
Having said that, I would love to hear from others about my profile
Jamey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it would be great if there will be ppl willing to help others creating a profile which catches other people's eye and brings out the beat of them.
The problem is that there are a lot of ppl (men, women and couples) who can offer a great time but they don't know how properly to describe themselves!
Making a nice profile about urself is a talent like any other talents so just because someone doesn't have that talent doesn't mean they can't offer a fabulous time in bed!
Having said that, I would love to hear from others about my profile
Jamey "
If you want advice, you should start your own thread. That is the way things work here. And no one can write anyone else's profile. It would not be them. Certainly, the inability to express a character does not mean they are crap in bed but it may limit their ability to attract. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want advice, you should start your own thread. That is the way things work here. And no one can write anyone else's profile. It would not be them. Certainly, the inability to express a character does not mean they are crap in bed but it may limit their ability to attract."
I didn't say ppl should write someone else's profile I was talking about advice on how to bring out the best of what u are good at! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want advice, you should start your own thread. That is the way things work here. And no one can write anyone else's profile. It would not be them. Certainly, the inability to express a character does not mean they are crap in bed but it may limit their ability to attract. "
To add to my last postpomost ppl don't appreciate when there is loads of threads about the same subject. If something is discussed in a thread which other ppl can also benefit from, why open a new thread???
If someone wants individual private advice they should open their own site!!,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want advice, you should start your own thread. That is the way things work here. And no one can write anyone else's profile. It would not be them. Certainly, the inability to express a character does not mean they are crap in bed but it may limit their ability to attract.
To add to my last postpomost ppl don't appreciate when there is loads of threads about the same subject. If something is discussed in a thread which other ppl can also benefit from, why open a new thread???
If someone wants individual private advice they should open their own site!!, "
Perhaps because the OP asked for advice on his profile? That was the subject. |
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I seem to have the same problem as some single guys on here, my profile aint up to much but thr basics are there, would be willing to share more and answer any questions through chatting. I send clean and respectful messages, pretty simple openings like how are you you enjoyec your weekend etc, but i do get very few responses. My age being under 30 also seems to restrict me a lot. Im an easy going guy who is just looking for some friends and nsa fun, any pointers would be appreciated! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to have the same problem as some single guys on here, my profile aint up to much but thr basics are there, would be willing to share more and answer any questions through chatting. I send clean and respectful messages, pretty simple openings like how are you you enjoyec your weekend etc, but i do get very few responses. My age being under 30 also seems to restrict me a lot. Im an easy going guy who is just looking for some friends and nsa fun, any pointers would be appreciated!"
As above. It is considered bad form to hijack a thread.
Don't ask me why. Just the way that it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to have the same problem as some single guys on here, my profile aint up to much but thr basics are there, would be willing to share more and answer any questions through chatting. I send clean and respectful messages, pretty simple openings like how are you you enjoyec your weekend etc, but i do get very few responses. My age being under 30 also seems to restrict me a lot. Im an easy going guy who is just looking for some friends and nsa fun, any pointers would be appreciated!"
You don't have a profile. It says nothing except Feel free to drop me a message. That is not a profile.
Most will look at the profile before reading a message. You want sex. Why should someone reply to a message from you? What are you offering on here? What are you looking for? You need to tell people about you, not wait for them to ask |
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"I seem to have the same problem as some single guys on here, my profile aint up to much but thr basics are there, would be willing to share more and answer any questions through chatting. I send clean and respectful messages, pretty simple openings like how are you you enjoyec your weekend etc, but i do get very few responses. My age being under 30 also seems to restrict me a lot. Im an easy going guy who is just looking for some friends and nsa fun, any pointers would be appreciated!"
When someone messages asking me how was your weekend, I don't respond ... somehow that reminds me of the small talk from work with my friends, and I would only ask someone I was interested in about their weekend, not some random stranger .... its a weird thing to ask I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read your profile and it just seems a bit cold to me.
I can't explain why though 
Oh no! Really? Am I possibly too direct perhaps?"
It reads to me like sex is very clinical with you. And it's all about what you want. Sorry, it's just how I read it  |
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"Hello everyone
It's great to be part a group of like minded people. It truly is.
I wonder though if I am doing something out of the ordinary or simply wrong. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
I'm single, would like to push my boundaries and would like to visit some clubs. I like the idea of forming a swinging alliance with a willing and interest female.
Currently, nobody seems interested. Not 100% sure why? Please help!
Happy swinging x"
It all looks good to me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've read your profile and it just seems a bit cold to me.
I can't explain why though
Oh no! Really? Am I possibly too direct perhaps?
It reads to me like sex is very clinical with you. And it's all about what you want. Sorry, it's just how I read it "
Absolutely no need to apologise. |
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"I seem to have the same problem as some single guys on here, my profile aint up to much but thr basics are there, would be willing to share more and answer any questions through chatting. I send clean and respectful messages, pretty simple openings like how are you you enjoyec your weekend etc, but i do get very few responses. My age being under 30 also seems to restrict me a lot. Im an easy going guy who is just looking for some friends and nsa fun, any pointers would be appreciated!
You don't have a profile. It says nothing except Feel free to drop me a message. That is not a profile.
Most will look at the profile before reading a message. You want sex. Why should someone reply to a message from you? What are you offering on here? What are you looking for? You need to tell people about you, not wait for them to ask "
I do agree with this point, i just dont know what to put on really. Im quite new to all this and still trying to learn and figure things out. I do think i have a lot to offer but just dont know how to go about things re. The profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi all I am new to this and have sent many messages and have also be polite to many, but all I see it delete after delete.
I have even but naked and cock pics to friends only. Thus not coming across and to naughty.
Think maybe I may be doing something wrong. Can't even find a social meet to get started. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your tip and advice (please keep them coming!).
It is clear & obvious the people online who are truly part of this way of life & those who are simply observing from the outside.
I certainly need to fine tune my bio & put some more, better pics up. I think a social meet or a club night that is friendly to those of us wishing to be verified is the way forward.
Since my OP, I have chatted with some amazing & wonderful people. I really hope to find other opportunities to chat with more of you.
CI xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to mostly be a place for couples to find single females or single women looking for guys who are normally well out of their league. Patience pays, but you will generally have better luck on Tinder due to audience size and the fact it doesn't allow people to be too lazy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to mostly be a place for couples to find single females or single women looking for guys who are normally well out of their league. Patience pays, but you will generally have better luck on Tinder due to audience size and the fact it doesn't allow people to be too lazy."
I met a lot more men on Tinder that could have been seen to be out of my league than I have on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think time makes a big difference. Time and patience. Just chatting to people so far has opened a lot of doors.
The forums have been a great way to introduce myself. Lots of conversations have been generated with lovely & very helpful people. |
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"It reads to me like sex is very clinical with you. And it's all about what you want. Sorry, it's just how I read it "
That's well put, I knew what you meant but couldn't put my finger on it.
Personally I'm put off by men who want to take control and they don't even know me or how things might work out.
Also OP i glanced at your avatar and thought you were much older, I think your other pic is better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It reads to me like sex is very clinical with you. And it's all about what you want. Sorry, it's just how I read it
That's well put, I knew what you meant but couldn't put my finger on it.
Personally I'm put off by men who want to take control and they don't even know me or how things might work out.
Also OP i glanced at your avatar and thought you were much older, I think your other pic is better "
I don't honestly feel like I want that experience from the onset. Perhaps something to develop with someone regular and open to the idea.
I have put up a new profile picture now. Let me know if it's an improvement xx |
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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago
Wisbech and A47 corridor |
"doesn't really matter what you put on your profile no one reads them lol"
Your profile is crucial if your are on the site with the aim or meeting people. It is probably your only chance to impress .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ooo I think you're lovely! You look like Shaun's flat mate on Shaun of the dead...
And I love a man in a suit!
Unfortunately we're only after ladies/couples or I would message you myself
Girl x
Oh and you spelt 'but' wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ooo I think you're lovely! You look like Shaun's flat mate on Shaun of the dead...
And I love a man in a suit!
Unfortunately we're only after ladies/couples or I would message you myself
Girl x
Oh and you spelt 'but' wrong "
Thank you xxxhotxxx!!
What a compliment! I've corrected my spelling mistake too xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try to join in the forums in particular The lounge it's a great way to chat with people and the education is top notch
Have fun Knitter "
Thank you knitter!
I'll be sure to check it out. Your pictures are fantastic. You look stunning!
Thank you for taking the time to reply & sharing your tips xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How the heck have you not met anyone on here yet? You're seriously hot!"
Thank you!! No idea. Think getting my first meet-in-person verification will unlock things for me here. |
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Patience.....
Just because we're all on a swing site, doesn't mean we all fuck anything or everything that moves. You have to buy your time.. Try the chat rooms, go to socials etc
5weeks is a small drop in the ocean.
Did you think that open up an account and everyone would come running to you?
You have to put in the time I'm afraid so hang in there!
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Patience.....
Just because we're all on a swing site, doesn't mean we all fuck anything or everything that moves. You have to buy your time.. Try the chat rooms, go to socials etc
5weeks is a small drop in the ocean.
Did you think that open up an account and everyone would come running to you?
You have to put in the time I'm afraid so hang in there!
X"
I totally agree and I am definitely in it for the long run.
I certainly didn't expect it to be like flicking a switch and I am continuously learning.
I guess after a while, it becomes easy to assume one is doing something wrong, hence, I thought I should ask you wonderful bunch of people!
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