FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > newbie looking for advice
newbie looking for advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi All,
I joined the site 3 weeks ago and it seems a very well set up, friendly site.
The reason for my post, as well as to say hi, is that I've been sending out quite a few messages (approx 35) to ladies but with a grand total of Zero success.
Maybe I'm expecting a little too much too soon? So I'd appreciate any constructive criticism you can offer about my profile please.
The two reviews I have are from a good friend, we hook up now and again but have known each other for many years before being on this site.
I'd appreciate any help people can offer as I'd like to have fun here but at present feeling a little underwhelmed.
Cheers
Ian
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right, mods made but still no messages..............!
Mind you it has only been 10mins 
Are the pics ok, should I add more?
I do always send a face pic when I message. I'm not really bad looking either, well my Mum says I'm handsome  |
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The word "discreet" always puts me off.
"Gotta have a bit of kinkiness thrown in". I think you need to be more specific. One person's idea of kinkiness is normal to some and an abhorrent perversion to another. How extreme are you meaning?
Insisting ladies send a face pic with first message is not going to inundate you with messages.
Sally
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Add more photos (not cock pics). If needs be blur your face out if you want to but show there are more sides to you than just this.
Get on the chat rooms and show your nice honest side. Avoid the crude comments. And if your messaging a couple... For gods sake talk to him as much as her. It's amazing how often guys try to cut duke out of the conversation.  |
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The only thing I would is that because you've mentioned that you like to fuck hard and don't cum easy all I've got is the image of someone mindlessly pounding away for hours which is boring so it would me off
Another personal pet peeve of mine is the cliche "I only bite if requested". I know it's an attempted to do a sense of humour but it's one nearly every day uses so it's the fab equivalent of a cheesy chat up line
Where your query of face pics are concerned yes many women demand them. I ask for them but it's because mine are publicly displayed so they will have likely seen it before messaging me anyway. So if you want the face pic line back in your profile it may be worth re-wording to "please be willing to exchange face pics privately as I am"
Finally, most will see that your a man of a certain age and can't accommodate and that will lead a lot to assume (wrongly or rightly) that your in a relationship and your playing away. If you are cheating just be up front about it in the profile so people can make an informed choice about meeting you. If you aren't pop a quick line in profile as to why you can't accommodate. For example in my profile I say that although I'm not unwilling to accommodate I would prefer to meet elsewhere for a first meet basically so that I don't have random men (that could end up being one offs) knowing where I live as it's the home I share with my children so it's my way of feeling like it protects them from the lifestyle choice I've made of swinging |
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"The only thing I would is that because you've mentioned that you like to fuck hard and don't cum easy all I've got is the image of someone mindlessly pounding away for hours which is boring so it would me off
Another personal pet peeve of mine is the cliche "I only bite if requested". I know it's an attempted to do a sense of humour but it's one nearly every day uses so it's the fab equivalent of a cheesy chat up line
Where your query of face pics are concerned yes many women demand them. I ask for them but it's because mine are publicly displayed so they will have likely seen it before messaging me anyway. So if you want the face pic line back in your profile it may be worth re-wording to "please be willing to exchange face pics privately as I am"
Finally, most will see that your a man of a certain age and can't accommodate and that will lead a lot to assume (wrongly or rightly) that your in a relationship and your playing away. If you are cheating just be up front about it in the profile so people can make an informed choice about meeting you. If you aren't pop a quick line in profile as to why you can't accommodate. For example in my profile I say that although I'm not unwilling to accommodate I would prefer to meet elsewhere for a first meet basically so that I don't have random men (that could end up being one offs) knowing where I live as it's the home I share with my children so it's my way of feeling like it protects them from the lifestyle choice I've made of swinging "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Finally, most will see that your a man of a certain age and can't accommodate and that will lead a lot to assume (wrongly or rightly) that your in a relationship and your playing away. If you are cheating just be up front about it in the profile so people can make an informed choice about meeting you. If you aren't pop a quick line in profile as to why you can't accommodate. For example in my profile I say that although I'm not unwilling to accommodate I would prefer to meet elsewhere for a first meet basically so that I don't have random men (that could end up being one offs) knowing where I live as it's the home I share with my children so it's my way of feeling like it protects them from the lifestyle choice I've made of swinging "
Thanks for all the advice but it does (and always has) state that I can accommodate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, you state that you are well educated but your profile contains spelling and grammar mistakes.
Your personality does not really shine through and you could do much better in terms of the photos displayed.
You are one of a very large number of men on here. Read your own profile from the point of view of a lady. What is there to single you out and make you attractive? |
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"Finally, most will see that your a man of a certain age and can't accommodate and that will lead a lot to assume (wrongly or rightly) that your in a relationship and your playing away. If you are cheating just be up front about it in the profile so people can make an informed choice about meeting you. If you aren't pop a quick line in profile as to why you can't accommodate. For example in my profile I say that although I'm not unwilling to accommodate I would prefer to meet elsewhere for a first meet basically so that I don't have random men (that could end up being one offs) knowing where I live as it's the home I share with my children so it's my way of feeling like it protects them from the lifestyle choice I've made of swinging
Thanks for all the advice but it does (and always has) state that I can accommodate."
My bad I mis-read it the first time sorry |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't expect quick wins on here. Just chill out relax and don't be pushy. I can't keep them away lol... just take your time and stay positive!"
Cheers Andi |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, you state that you are well educated but your profile contains spelling and grammar mistakes.
Your personality does not really shine through and you could do much better in terms of the photos displayed.
You are one of a very large number of men on here. Read your own profile from the point of view of a lady. What is there to single you out and make you attractive?"
Thanks for the info.
Your profile is very clear and certainly entertaining.
I'll go and see if I can spot the grammatical errors! |
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Your profile has improved considerably; there's a real sense of your personality coming through. Personally I'd remove the references to 'girls moaning' and 'one snag..not being able to cum'. These details have the potential to be interpreted arrogantly/negatively. Perhaps you could raise your delayed ejaculation in messages once you've built a little rapport first? Not all women see that as the be all and end all of a meet. Including them here seems to spoil the flow of an otherwise engaging profile text. Just my personal opinion though. Other than that, it's fine and I wish you improved luck on here. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
Tbh, I think 35 messages in 3 weeks seems a lot - suggests a bit of a scattergun approach.
Guys need to have a lot of patience on here. Personally, I think a better way to approach things is to bide your time and wait for when you see a profile and what she says really chimes with what you can offer, in terms of personality, looks, character etc.
Admittedly, I take that to extremes, sending very few, if any, a year. However, I dunno - when I've sent one, I've just had a weird sense that I'm going to click with this person and they'll at least be willing to chat. I'd rather wait for that occasional, but lovely, connection.
I guess it's the modern version of seeing someone across a room and knowing you're going to catch their eye. |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
What was the gagging comment?! WHAT WAS THE GAGGING COMMENT?!
I feel like I missed out.
From your veris, you've had some success it seems Keep going as you are; interesting, literate profile. I'd probably say hi back |
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"Hello Forum
What do I need to do to go further?
Not really got chatting to anyone as of yet.
Any advice for me
"
Not quite sure exactly what your second public picture is supposed to be showing. You've repeated your height etc when it's already listed. As mentioned above, why can't you accommodate? |
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