FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Your favourite Irish Insult
Your favourite Irish Insult
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I suppose the most typical one...
If he had brains he'd be dangerous... |
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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
[Removed by poster at 05/08/20 13:51:29] |
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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
When God was giving out brains he thought he said trains... and asked for a slow one.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's as much use as a chocolate fireguard |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
He has a face only his mammy could love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pleb |
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By *mmakWoman
over a year ago
Town |
As useful as a ash tray on a motorbike |
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As thick as pig shit but only half as useful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A sniper wouldnt take ya out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More brains in a rocking horse |
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"shite for brains"
forgot that one - has to be the classic Irish insult |
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The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your mothers egg must been expired  |
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Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too  |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Mouth like a busted couch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get back in your box Bosco |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He has a face on him like a melted candle
He's got a face only a Mother could love
He fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
The best part of him ran down his father's leg
She had a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle |
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
Jesus they are an awful dry shite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The head on that and the price of cabbage
Scaldy cat
Don't let the door hit you on the way out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The tide wouldnt take ya out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's got a face like a busted wellington! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Puss on him/ her like a bulldog chewing a wasp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Langer"
My absolute favourite saying ever  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A fanny on her like a pulled out fireplace ??
Dont judge just heard it and I thought it was funny ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gombeen  |
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Have ye a match?
Ye your face and my arse |
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Shut up you dipstick
You plonker
Ok so they are English insults so sue me |
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By *ornyfireCouple
over a year ago
Middle Earth |
As useless as tits on a bull. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg"
Was Full Metal Jacket based on Spike Island?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shut up you dipstick
You plonker
Ok so they are English insults so sue me "
Gombeen |
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Aye yer ma!!
Could eat an apple through a tennis racquet.
More brains in a false face. |
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"The best part of you ran down the inside of your father’s leg
Was Full Metal Jacket based on Spike Island? "
It’s a little known fact  |
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He/she has the IQ of a mushroom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah you have your shite! |
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"Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too "
Simple: they’re on the Ireland forum..! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Head on him like a burst matress |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
You wouldn't beat snow off a rope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He/she's a pure "gowl"..
Or
Stall da ball kid ..
Or
"Telpis" aka God help us
Or
"Nables" aka im not able for you
It's a limerick thing .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gowl / G'way out of it you gowl (which, and similar to the ones below, can be emphasised to use in a friendly banter way or a DANGER MOVE AWAY scenario  )
Langer.
Some thundering langer.
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"Have ye a match?
Ye your face and my arse"
if your arse is so beautiful why do you not show it................to give your face a chance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She had a face on her like a cow licking piss off a nettle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If that lad had gun powder for brains he wouldn’t blow a hole in his arse |
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Ya langer ( in a thick Cork accent) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Body of Nadine Coyle, face of Anne Doyle. |
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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago
Cork and surrounding areas |
When speaking about someone hurling.......... he wouldn't bate snow off a rope or he wouldn't bate flies off a shite.
Mr crazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"smell your ma".
"employ your da"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aye your ma's your da
Absolutely no idea what it means tho lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your ma sells avon |
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"Langer"
Just a simple but effective CLASSIC!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She's seen more Mickeys than Walt Disney
Wouldn't ride them into battle
If he had pedals I wouldnt ride him
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I know it isn't spelt correctly
Pogue ma-hone.
There is/was a pub in Liverpool called that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look like something a crow shit out in the famine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shite hawk..thundering bollix.. Ass hat |
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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago
Cork and surrounding areas |
If there was work in the bed he'd sleep on the floor .
Mr crazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you get the number of the Bus ( The one that ran over your Face ).. |
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By *ffit101Man
over a year ago
Cork and West Cork |
They look like vinegar smells. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As useful as a ash tray on a motorbike "
As much use as ejector seats on a helicopter |
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By *man79Man
over a year ago
newry dundalk. warrenpoint |
Ya have a head on ya like a bastard cat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Scarlet for your ma for havin you |
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"Scarlet for your ma for havin you "
That's my fav.
Or Joyce's: thick lugged sons of bastards ghosts. |
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Tube or spoon, usually prefixed with the town they come from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ya wouldn't see a hole in a ladder
You're as mean as Dykewater
You're as thick as two double Ditches
You've a head like a shiv
Is there anything between your ears .
What are you moping around for ( in other words get the fuck out )
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By *r zipsMan
over a year ago
City centre |
I'm going to call you thrush because you're one irritating c*** |
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"I know it isn't spelt correctly
Pogue ma-hone.
There is/was a pub in Liverpool called that."
Only actual proper Irish sayin |
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He’s as fucking Awkward as Tits on a frog |
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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago
Donegal |
As useful as a chocolate tae pot
What a fucking arsehole
Id rather shite in my hands and clap than deal with you
I wouldnt ride you if you were the last horse in the stable
Aye well your Ma |
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I wouldn't ride that into battle.
The tide wouldn't take it out.
As useful as a screen door on a submarine.
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Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose the most typical one...
If he had brains he'd be dangerous..."
Can add to that.
If he had 2 brains he’d be twice as stupid |
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As much use as a trapdoor in a canoe
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If brains was dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you get your hair done or come here on a motorbike? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A sandwich short of a picnic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your ma sells avon"
Yer da sells Avon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ur as usefull as a chocolatte teapot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your a gluebag is my all time fave |
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He's got a head like a bag of Mickies
Or
I'd defo put a saddle on her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You cabbage |
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If his IQ was 1 lower he'd be a plant!
If his IQ was any lower he'd trip over it!
If he swallowed a fly he'd have a bigger brain in his stomach than he does in his head!
Her fanny is that wide you feel like a dog wagging his tail in an empty bucket!
And finally....let's play a game called Fuck Off,you go first!!! |
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"She/he wud get up on a gust of wind" or
"I wudnt piss on him/her if she was on fire" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As useless as tits on a bull |
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You geebag. I think that's truly irish? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the dirty pox" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Up till now he thought manual labour was the Spanish workers name |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 06/08/20 22:58:06] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'd a garden full of cocks I wouldn't leave her look over the ditch
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Wouldn't get over ya to get over a wall  |
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By *winger212Woman
over a year ago
not in clare, live in spain |
I'll cut the snot off ya!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hes that mean hed peel and orange in his pocket.
Mainly because i hate mean people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of this are brill |
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The tide would not take you out |
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Has a face like a sack of spanners. |
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By *oo32Man
over a year ago
tipperary |
Ya bleedin washer
A head on him like a slapped arse
As thick as 2 short planks |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
A neck like a jockeys bollox |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As tall as lamp post but not half as bright.
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shes taken more loads then the washing machine. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"shes taken more loads then the washing machine."
First time to hear this absolutely disgusting but funny as fuck insult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hes that mean hed peel and orange in his pocket."
While wearing boxing gloves. |
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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago
Donegal |
Hed get up on his granny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You absolute total idiot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend said this about one of the managers at work
“That cunt couldn’t run a bath” |
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You’re as worn out as an aul tinkers tool!
(Aka “You’re fucked”) |
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
There’s more brains in a fish supper |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
It's mostly a Carlow saying but Quar.....jeeze that's quar funny or omg that's quar fast... |
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By *irSub3Couple
over a year ago
Northern Ireland |
"Aye your ma's your da
Absolutely no idea what it means tho lol"
That’s a favourite |
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By *ubeMan
over a year ago
Drogheda |
That one over there has a face like a shot turnip.
She has a face like a half eating toffee. |
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When someone just doesn’t get it...
“I’m sorry... I don’t have the patience, time or crayons to explain this in a way you’ll understand!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 13/08/20 00:02:43] |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
you've a face on you like a bag of spanners
You've a body like an unmade bed |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:
Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones
Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you |
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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
If you were a chocolate bar... Ya would eat yourself! |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:
Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones
Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you"
I vaguely remember some Irish ones from my least favourite book ever Peig
That sounded great |
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By *ablo57Man
over a year ago
Tipperary/Limerick |
Gowlbag
Absolute misfortune
Bog goblin
You're father should have just had a wank
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the two ends of a useless cu*t."
"a proper clartypaps"
"yer looking well. been good to yourself lately?"
"keep talking...dya want me to call you the ambulance now or later"
"your mother be so proud of you"
"you? yer not a patch on yer auld fella...for being a cu*t."
"sure youse wans were raised on the dole"
;-) |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
"If you were a chocolate bar... Ya would eat yourself!"
If he could turn around quick enough, he’d ride himself... Largely associated with an certain conceited ex Taoiseach.
If (s)he was a lollipop, (s)he’d lick himself/ herself. |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
"Gowl, sleeveen or langer are about as cutting as you can get (the latter dependent on the tone it’s delivered with). There are some great Irish ones like:
Go mbrise an diabhal do chnámha = That the Devil will break your bones
Mallacht na baintrí ort = A widow’s curse upon you
I vaguely remember some Irish ones from my least favourite book ever Peig
That sounded great "
May you be plagued by a powerful itch and never have the nails to scratch it! |
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By *oiraTvTV/TS
over a year ago
Derry |
"Body of Nadine Coyle, face of Anne Doyle."
I Google Anne Doyle... I think she quite sexy. Older, mature lady like her would turn me on more than Nadine Coyle. Guess I am pretty rare.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What s the crack
my favourite part of a woman |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
" What s the crack
my favourite part of a woman "
More like cappuccino then Al Pacino |
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Sorry girls’
Their all split with the one axe-
Some with the back off it!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My dad used to say “he’s the biggest bastard that ever wore a coat” |
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"I'd say you must come from a long line of gob-shites" |
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"Now, I'd love to stand and talk
....but you're giving me an awful pain in the arse"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The tide wouldn't take her/him out and he/she has a face like a melted Wellington |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That one is so ugly they had to tie a bone around her neck as a kid so the dog would play with her |
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"I wouldn't even give her one with yours" |
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By *jallMan
over a year ago
Cork/Sligo |
"Shite hawk..thundering bollix.. Ass hat"
Shitehawk! Haven't heard it in years, since I moved away, classic! |
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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago
Donegal |
Wouldnt ride him if he was the last horse in the stable |
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By *ulu00Woman
over a year ago
Donegal |
Also a firm favourite
The best part of you ran down your mothers leg |
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"Also a firm favourite
The best part of you ran down your mothers leg "
And ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!!! As quoted by Gunnery Sgt Hartman in full metal jacket!!! |
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By *jallMan
over a year ago
Cork/Sligo |
Who lit the fuse on Your tampon???
(10 times the effect when said to males) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As useful as a bull with tits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ya Bowsey |
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By *oxminxCouple
over a year ago
NaughtyVille *×* Laois |
Has to be "ya stuke" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has to be "ya stuke""
Never heard that before |
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By *oxminxCouple
over a year ago
NaughtyVille *×* Laois |
Oh my God. She's for a spanking.
Mel called me that for months, when we dirst met, until I eventually discovered it was a culchies version of the word Gobshite.
Andy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That fucking Gobshite !! |
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Cock-womble or
I wouldn't even ride her into battle |
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I was once told in the Lounge that I would be hotter if I wasn't Irish. Does that count? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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C’mere til i tell ya to fuck off |
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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago
Doire Theas |
"I was once told in the Lounge that I would be hotter if I wasn't Irish. Does that count? "
What |
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He Couldn't hit a cows arse with a shovel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"clown". Something about calling someone a clown is very satisfying |
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I think the Scots are the best at creative insulting to be honest . There are very few actual Irish ones in this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My teacher use to tell me empty vessels make the most noise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jinnit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ya Langer |
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By *ohnFKMan
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"What kind of a feckin' eejit? "
It's the simple ones |
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If brains were made of cotton wool you wouldn't have enough to make a tampon for a barbie doll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""clown". Something about calling someone a clown is very satisfying "
That one does seem to trigger an angry response |
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Tá tú go haneolach le cúl mo liathróidí na fhaca ríomh ach cac
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"Can I ask what makes these insults irish? I was brought up in england and heard most of them over there too "
Did you have ‘She’s only a GeeBag’ too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea fuckin geeeebag . Ahhh here leave it out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it is pretty funny with peoe saying ahhh fuck off you big clown ?? |
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There used to be one, as useless as balls on a bishop, haven’t heard it in a while |
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By *addubMan
over a year ago
dublin. 12 |
"A neck like a jockeys bollox "
& twice as smelly
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Being Scottish, I’ll accept this challenge!
Ya Bawbag
Thick as shite in the neck o’ a bottle.
If beauty’s skin deep, you must be inside oot.
(If someone’s always lucky) I bet if you fell in The Clyde you’d come oot wi’ a salmon an’ a diver’s wages.
Ya Fucking Bampot.
Away an’ boil yer heid.
I hope the next time ye get a stauner* you run oot o’ skin
Smell Yer Maw
Ah coulda been yer Da, but a dug beat me up the stair.
If his brains were shite, there widnea be a smell.
Ya Fanny
Fannybaws
(If someone is tight with money) He’d no even gee ye a sniff o’ his shite.
Look, someone’s shaved their arse and taught it tae talk.
Yer Maw wears Army Boots.
*Stauner. Slang for an erection. Stand-er. Staun-er.
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Bollocks. Pressed the wrong button. I meant to quote the message that said the Scots have good insults.
What a fanny I am.
Actually, that’s reminded me of another one... a slang term for a fanny / c*nt is “Fud”.
That’s used plenty in insulting someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go FK a Duck... |
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You would bring her home with a tow rope |
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[Removed by poster at 22/10/20 00:31:14] |
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You'd fight over your own toenails (meaning you're argumentative)
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The wind wouldnt go up her skirt
Mad as a bag of spiders
Face like dot cotton licking piss off a nettle
Head like a melted wellie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go FK a Duck..."
Haha haven't heard that one in years |
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