FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > WHAT DO BRING TO THE TABLE
WHAT DO BRING TO THE TABLE
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With all this demands,from some on fab like " Looking for a tall clean shaved, tattooed with the biggest cuck of fab and can accommodate etc.
So what do you bring to the table yourself? |
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So youre asking us to sell ourselves a little to help others understand why they should choose us..? Jeez, its like doing up my Fab CV..! Ok, here goes.
Over the past 5 years I have acquired the following fab specific skills:
- ability to get regular forum bans through poking the bear more often than is sensible
- proficient in the art of sending ladies messages so uninspiring that chameleon-like they blend in with the other 100s of messages in her inbox and she doesn't see it
- gifted in taking selfies that end up looking camp, ensuring that the only gay men and TV/TS ever contact me
- expert at repeatedly breaking the 'wink' button, as astoundingly I seem to be able to make it not work every single time I use it
- seasoned in the much sought after skill of being able to squeeze the life and joy out of any Fab conversation i have with any lady, so that finally their only repeated response is 'lol'... Until they stop responding altogether.
- adept at repeated mental block any time I try to think up a cool and captivating "Status update", resulting in a published update that would make "Songs of Praise" seem appealing in comparison
Think that should cover it 
Did I miss anything..?? |
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By *oo32Man
over a year ago
tipperary |
I'm a 6ft 4....balding,tattooed carrying some weight 42 yr old guy...
An impressively small cock that can last about 4 maybe 5 pumps...
But I have most of my own teeth and I'm great craic... |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate  
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!  "
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table? |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?"
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning "
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now "
Hold on a cotton picken minute. Cream eggs are sacred Do not bring them to the table....unless I’m seated |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Hold on a cotton picken minute. Cream eggs are sacred Do not bring them to the table....unless I’m seated "
I used to be a huge fan of them. In fact I was a huge fan of them because of all of the creme eggs I ate. I'm wasting away now since they changed the recipe a few years ago. |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now "
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.  |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Hold on a cotton picken minute. Cream eggs are sacred Do not bring them to the table....unless I’m seated
I used to be a huge fan of them. In fact I was a huge fan of them because of all of the creme eggs I ate. I'm wasting away now since they changed the recipe a few years ago. "
In a previous life I've seen hundreds of boxes of them being returned the year the recipe was changed because they couldn't be sold. Customers were convinced they had bought a bad batch. |
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"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer. "
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to... |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer. "
Do you know me? 
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am. |
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"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to..."
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour. |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Hold on a cotton picken minute. Cream eggs are sacred Do not bring them to the table....unless I’m seated
I used to be a huge fan of them. In fact I was a huge fan of them because of all of the creme eggs I ate. I'm wasting away now since they changed the recipe a few years ago.
In a previous life I've seen hundreds of boxes of them being returned the year the recipe was changed because they couldn't be sold. Customers were convinced they had bought a bad batch. "
I remember thinking I had got a dud as well back then. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Do you know me?
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am. "
All u need is a willing woman to give up 20 seconds of her life and ur made |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Do you know me?
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am.
All u need is a willing woman to give up 20 seconds of her life and ur made "
But would you let her hold your cream egg ??? |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer. "
Tiffin is way nicer |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Do you know me?
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am.
All u need is a willing woman to give up 20 seconds of her life and ur made
But would you let her hold your cream egg ???"
Are u nuts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Do you know me?
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am.
All u need is a willing woman to give up 20 seconds of her life and ur made
But would you let her hold your cream egg ???
Are u nuts "
 right answer  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Do you know me?
Tiffin bars are the best bar ever. I have one here sitting in the van for a little treat when I take my break around 10 am.
All u need is a willing woman to give up 20 seconds of her life and ur made "
I spend longer on the tiffin |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Haribo and Cadbury... though the odd KitKat has been known to make its way in... would I qualify to sit at your table?
You're in..! "Cadbury" was the magic word
Bonus points would have been received if you had mentioned Creme Eggs. That would have qualified you for the "Pussy Eating" thread on here this morning
There's going to be a row here.. Creme eggs used to be great but they're pure shite now
Youve crossed the line McCarthy! Creme Eggs are sacred heavenly sweetness that help release the endorphins that get clogged up in my system through lack of sex. I demand you rethink your position!!
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
Tiffin is way nicer "
Sacrilege!!! Wash your mouth out with soap..!! |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"It's hard to imagine that cream eggs were ever good, but I like the Eastery talk, if you keep on going I might even feel the spring.
Id say ur well used to causing a spring "
It's too long ago, I can't remember, a memory refresh is needed. |
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"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to...
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour. "
Ok, lets just call then Creme Egg Lite now then... |
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"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to...
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour.
Ok, lets just call then Creme Egg Lite now then... "
They're ideal for practicing your rimming technique on if you just remove a tiny bit of the top.
The creme oozing out can be somewhat disconcerting though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lol the best sex a man can get,isn't that good enough ha ha. "
And you think you can give the "best sex a man can get" I thought women always wanted the best sex a man can give? |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
A quick read on the forums i said to myself before i get out of bed turned into the funniest thread I've read in ages....thanks to all for a cheerful start to the day
Is it acceptable to have a Tiffin bar for breakfast |
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By *oo32Man
over a year ago
tipperary |
"A quick read on the forums i said to myself before i get out of bed turned into the funniest thread I've read in ages....thanks to all for a cheerful start to the day
Is it acceptable to have a Tiffin bar for breakfast "
Absolutely.....just make sure you have coffee/tea with it |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to...
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour.
Ok, lets just call then Creme Egg Lite now then...
They're ideal for practicing your rimming technique on if you just remove a tiny bit of the top.
The creme oozing out can be somewhat disconcerting though. "
Bit like sloppy seconds |
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"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to...
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour.
Ok, lets just call then Creme Egg Lite now then...
They're ideal for practicing your rimming technique on if you just remove a tiny bit of the top.
The creme oozing out can be somewhat disconcerting though.
Bit like sloppy seconds "
Mother of God!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
James Vader
Mid-Level Sexpert
Experience:
Highly Skilled Professional with over 16 Years working in the field as a private contractor.
Qualities:
Ability to bring an unnerving level of self assurance, and humour to the start of all projects undertaken.
Not afraid to take risks, but weighs all options heavily before taking said risks.
Aim to please others.
Always follow through the job to completion.
Not afraid to get my hands dirty and do what needs to be done.
Willing to put in overtime.
Focus on putting others ahead of myself.
Focused on investigating clients' needs before implementation, which supports the mission to "surprise and delight".
In addition have a surprising ability to read a situation to maximize overall client satisfaction.
Adept at research; will incorporate cutting edge new technology or methodologies.
Ramped up operations quickly when the demand exceeds supply. However, currently operating at a loss.
Adept in spefic time consuming and goal oriented projects next. To focus on more skilled and talented projects.
Extracurriculars:
Research and Development on New Positions. Open to Q&A on New Positions.
"Study" for 30 minutes every morning and night .
Undertook lengthy self-study prior to entering the field, to ensure full satisfaction of my clients.
Analyzed client behavior patterns and leveraged psychological research to increase satisfaction.
Acomplishhments - As aforementioned 15 years experience.
Over 100+ projects undertaken, 67 satisfied clients which have contracted me on more than one occasion.
Skilled in 2 person group projects.
Open to 3, 4, 6 person projects.
(Disclaimer - All of the aforementioned may be slightly exaggerated)
|
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"
Next you'll be telling us a Tiffin bar is nicer.
They are though. The delicious creme eggs of yesteryear are no more. Now they are just stomach churning sweet. I’d still eat them. Be rude not to...
I have a sweet tooth myself but just can't stomach them now. Like you said, they're just sweet and pretty much very little flavour.
Ok, lets just call then Creme Egg Lite now then...
They're ideal for practicing your rimming technique on if you just remove a tiny bit of the top.
The creme oozing out can be somewhat disconcerting though.
Bit like sloppy seconds
Mother of God! "
Creme egg becomes creme pie |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!! "
Throw in lindt chocolate and anything is possible |
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"James Vader
Mid-Level Sexpert
Experience:
Highly Skilled Professional with over 16 Years working in the field as a private contractor.
Qualities:
Ability to bring an unnerving level of self assurance, and humour to the start of all projects undertaken.
Not afraid to take risks, but weighs all options heavily before taking said risks.
Aim to please others.
Always follow through the job to completion.
Not afraid to get my hands dirty and do what needs to be done.
Willing to put in overtime.
Focus on putting others ahead of myself.
Focused on investigating clients' needs before implementation, which supports the mission to "surprise and delight".
In addition have a surprising ability to read a situation to maximize overall client satisfaction.
Adept at research; will incorporate cutting edge new technology or methodologies.
Ramped up operations quickly when the demand exceeds supply. However, currently operating at a loss.
Adept in spefic time consuming and goal oriented projects next. To focus on more skilled and talented projects.
Extracurriculars:
Research and Development on New Positions. Open to Q&A on New Positions.
"Study" for 30 minutes every morning and night .
Undertook lengthy self-study prior to entering the field, to ensure full satisfaction of my clients.
Analyzed client behavior patterns and leveraged psychological research to increase satisfaction.
Acomplishhments - As aforementioned 15 years experience.
Over 100+ projects undertaken, 67 satisfied clients which have contracted me on more than one occasion.
Skilled in 2 person group projects.
Open to 3, 4, 6 person projects.
(Disclaimer - All of the aforementioned may be slightly exaggerated)
"
Round of applause |
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"I’m almost always packing a couple of bags of sweets and chocolate
What kind? There's a big difference between Rowntrees/Nestle and Cadburys. That could make or break a meet..!!
Throw in lindt chocolate and anything is possible "
Bloody typical kildare ones, trying to confuse the issue and gain an advantage with other products..!! |
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"James Vader
Mid-Level Sexpert
Experience:
Highly Skilled Professional with over 16 Years working in the field as a private contractor.
Qualities:
Ability to bring an unnerving level of self assurance, and humour to the start of all projects undertaken.
Not afraid to take risks, but weighs all options heavily before taking said risks.
Aim to please others.
Always follow through the job to completion.
Not afraid to get my hands dirty and do what needs to be done.
Willing to put in overtime.
Focus on putting others ahead of myself.
Focused on investigating clients' needs before implementation, which supports the mission to "surprise and delight".
In addition have a surprising ability to read a situation to maximize overall client satisfaction.
Adept at research; will incorporate cutting edge new technology or methodologies.
Ramped up operations quickly when the demand exceeds supply. However, currently operating at a loss.
Adept in spefic time consuming and goal oriented projects next. To focus on more skilled and talented projects.
Extracurriculars:
Research and Development on New Positions. Open to Q&A on New Positions.
"Study" for 30 minutes every morning and night .
Undertook lengthy self-study prior to entering the field, to ensure full satisfaction of my clients.
Analyzed client behavior patterns and leveraged psychological research to increase satisfaction.
Acomplishhments - As aforementioned 15 years experience.
Over 100+ projects undertaken, 67 satisfied clients which have contracted me on more than one occasion.
Skilled in 2 person group projects.
Open to 3, 4, 6 person projects.
(Disclaimer - All of the aforementioned may be slightly exaggerated)
"
Saw the photos... the rest is just a a blur of white noise  |
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