FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Fab hotel is open

Fab hotel is open

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Good evening and welcome to the Fab hotel. You're very welcome and we hope you have a pleasant stay with us. Should you need anything please dial 0 for reception.

The bar is open and serving food and drinks until late

Go get settled in and I'll mark you down for a late check out in the morning

Enjoy your stay

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can we get late breakfast and dgo you mind if I kiss the floor and give the bar man a hug?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can we get late breakfast and dgo you mind if I kiss the floor and give the bar man a hug? "

You can kiss anything you like sir

The barman does love a good hug so belt away and I'll note a late breakfast for you also

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can we get late breakfast and dgo you mind if I kiss the floor and give the bar man a hug?

You can kiss anything you like sir

The barman does love a good hug so belt away and I'll note a late breakfast for you also

Anything I like huh? What time you off?

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By *ardyboy54321Man over a year ago

Fermanagh

There's a Tracy's dog floating in the hot tub and it's still buzzing will ya send up housekeeping

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There's a Tracy's dog floating in the hot tub and it's still buzzing will ya send up housekeeping

I'm sorry sir but there's a what now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can we get late breakfast and dgo you mind if I kiss the floor and give the bar man a hug?

You can kiss anything you like sir

The barman does love a good hug so belt away and I'll note a late breakfast for you also

Anything I like huh? What time you off?

Around 11 sir if you haven't found yourself any company do let me know id be happy to oblige

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ahh god, hate to ask, but missed the early bird. Ahh I know you must be well done with it now but...Ya know any chance of maybe availing of the early bird price?

Go..god now you.must really see me as a pain sorry to be asking this of you now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ahh god, hate to ask, but missed the early bird. Ahh I know you must be well done with it now but...Ya know any chance of maybe availing of the early bird price?

Go..god now you.must really see me as a pain sorry to be asking this of you now. "

(Mutters under breath - bloody Karen's

)

Sir the early bird finished at 7pm I'm afraid it's no longer available however I think you'll find our food is very reasonably priced but alternatively there's a great place down the road that does great meal deals I believe it's called something like McDonaghs?? I can't.quite recall the name.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would it be possible to have a room upgrade if there's one available . Nice treat since its been awhile since a night out was had.. Will see ye in the bar and their will be a cocktail with ur name on it for after ur shift..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Would it be possible to have a room upgrade if there's one available . Nice treat since its been awhile since a night out was had.. Will see ye in the bar and their will be a cocktail with ur name on it for after ur shift..

Madam! Flattery will get you everywhere! I've upgraded you to a riverview room and it even has a hot tub that can accommodate up to four people

I'll see you for that cocktail in a bit

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By *ob7Man over a year ago

Limerick

Is room service available tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a Tracy's dog floating in the hot tub and it's still buzzing will ya send up housekeeping

I'm sorry sir but there's a what now?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is room service available tonight "

All night long sir and almost anything you'd like! Within reason obviously

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

I'm sorry sir I fail to see what the issue is here. We do aim to please at the Fab hotel if the room and its contents are not too your liking then I suggest you might be more comfortable staying at the travel Inn down the road. Would you like me to make a reservation for you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

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By *ob7Man over a year ago

Limerick

"Is room service available tonight

All night long sir and almost anything you'd like! Within reason obviously

"
what are the special tonight

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Of course Mr Fastlad but I'll have the ladies come to you would hate to see them go to waste. No extra charge but make sure you tip them we'll

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

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By *iss3BWoman over a year ago

north down

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Don't forget a kiss each goodnight

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is room service available tonight

All night long sir and almost anything you'd like! Within reason obviously

what are the special tonight "

A two course meal served to you by our Swedish masseuse who will end the meal with a happy ending? However this special is selling fast so do let me know if you wish to avail

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

No problem Me Shameless I have allocated the two girls to another room where they were required. I'll have housekeeping come up and fluff the pillows for you. Pop down to the bar and Ill sort you out with a complimentary drink for your troubles

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kaizer has fond memories of this fine establishment

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By *ob7Man over a year ago

Limerick

"Is room service available tonight

All night long sir and almost anything you'd like! Within reason obviously

what are the special tonight

A two course meal served to you by our Swedish masseuse who will end the meal with a happy ending? However this special is selling fast so do let me know if you wish to avail"
I would like to avail of that and a little extra for dessert.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Don't forget a kiss each goodnight

Miss3b you're very welcome to the Fab hotel can I get you anything at all? A drink? Sexy french waiter? You name it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Kaizer has fond memories of this fine establishment

Mr Thunderkiss it is such a pleasure to welcome you back to my humble establishment! Of course I have kept our best suite available for you. I would ask however that this time you refrain from trashing my hotel. It took me such a long time to refurbish after last time

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By *iss3BWoman over a year ago

north down

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Don't forget a kiss each goodnight

Miss3b you're very welcome to the Fab hotel can I get you anything at all? A drink? Sexy french waiter? You name it "

Oh a sexy Irish waiter and a cider shall do me fine kind madam

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kaizer has fond memories of this fine establishment

Kaizer makes no promises!

Enjoy the ride

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Can I get a room with a massive bath and a big comfy bed and room service please .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Don't forget a kiss each goodnight

Miss3b you're very welcome to the Fab hotel can I get you anything at all? A drink? Sexy french waiter? You name it

Oh a sexy Irish waiter and a cider shall do me fine kind madam"

Done madam his name is Seamus and he's waiting in the corner with your cider for you! Enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please."

Em Babycham??? Really??

I mean yes sir I'll have that ready for you just pop by reception

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By *13_hercMan over a year ago

Blackrock

Early bird is finished you say...well, maybe I could dine on you when you are free. Happy to massage in some oil to help tenderise and de-stress you after all of the guests demands, a happy ending guaranteed, of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I get a room with a massive bath and a big comfy bed and room service please .

Ms Justbo it would be my pleasure. You let me know if I can send up any champagne, chocolates, handsome back scratched? All of the above!!

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By *iss3BWoman over a year ago

north down

"Miss can I have the room you were giving Shameless ??

I’ll look after the ladies no problem

I’ll even tuck them in and read them a story

Don't forget a kiss each goodnight

Miss3b you're very welcome to the Fab hotel can I get you anything at all? A drink? Sexy french waiter? You name it

Oh a sexy Irish waiter and a cider shall do me fine kind madam

Done madam his name is Seamus and he's waiting in the corner with your cider for you! Enjoy

Oh why thanks you so very much

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Early bird is finished you say...well, maybe I could dine on you when you are free. Happy to massage in some oil to help tenderise and de-stress you after all of the guests demands, a happy ending guaranteed, of course

xx "

Tenderise? I'm not a steak sir although I'm am a tasty snack when rubbed up in oil!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Madam! Flattery will get you everywhere! I've upgraded you to a riverview room and it even has a hot tub that can accommodate up to four people

I'll see you for that cocktail in a bit

"
What a view. Looking forward to testing out that hot tub

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Madam! Flattery will get you everywhere! I've upgraded you to a riverview room and it even has a hot tub that can accommodate up to four people

I'll see you for that cocktail in a bit

What a view. Looking forward to testing out that hot tub

Might I suggest you take a peek into the leisure centre madam we have some of the French rugby team working out down there. I think you'll find it most enjoyable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please.

Em Babycham??? Really??

I mean yes sir I'll have that ready for you just pop by reception "

Hello again reception.

I wont be coming down for that drink if thats ok.

I just met an very elegantly dressed lady waiting on the lift.

I think she took offence at me staring at her , as she seems to have a rather manly beard.

She said some rather rude things to me, hitched up her skirt and waved a rather large penis in my direction.

I think I am just going to have my shower and go to bed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Madam! Flattery will get you everywhere! I've upgraded you to a riverview room and it even has a hot tub that can accommodate up to four people

I'll see you for that cocktail in a bit

What a view. Looking forward to testing out that hot tub

Might I suggest you take a peek into the leisure centre madam we have some of the French rugby team working out down there. I think you'll find it most enjoyable

"
Oooh I'm off for a look they may need a hand with their towels..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please.

Em Babycham??? Really??

I mean yes sir I'll have that ready for you just pop by reception

Hello again reception.

I wont be coming down for that drink if thats ok.

I just met an very elegantly dressed lady waiting on the lift.

I think she took offence at me staring at her , as she seems to have a rather manly beard.

She said some rather rude things to me, hitched up her skirt and waved a rather large penis in my direction.

I think I am just going to have my shower and go to bed

Oh my Christ that's Mr Thunderkiss!

I'll get this sorted sir I'm so sorry

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

Ooh lovely. Havent been away to a hotel since we got married

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Kaizer has fond memories of this fine establishment

Kaizer makes no promises!

Enjoy the ride

It's not even 9pm Mr Thunderkiss please conduct yourself in a reasonable fashion I have already received my first complaint of the night about you. You my be a dear friend but I will turf you out on your peachy ass if you don't behave

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ooh lovely. Havent been away to a hotel since we got married"

Oh you are both so welcome to the Fab hotel. Here let me take your luggage. Please have a complimentary welcome drink and if you see a heated man in a dress please ignore him and don't make eye contact

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

Good evening

Any room available with a rain forest shower and a king size bed please

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good evening

Any room available with a rain forest shower and a king size bed please "

Mr BogM quite the pleasure indeed. Of course I have room 317 reserved for you sir. Now should you need anything at all please let me know and I may have gotten ahead of myself but I did organise the chef to make some apple pie and custard I've been lead to believe that this is a favourite of yours?

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By *DSGCouple over a year ago

That place in

Hello

Can we have a room at the end of corridor with a bath if possible

Thanks

M&S

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hello

Can we have a room at the end of corridor with a bath if possible

Thanks

M&S"

Good Evening to you both

Please let me show you personally to your room. Follow me this way. I have a beautiful suite with a jacuzzi bath for you both to relax in.

Please enjoy your stay and should you need anything please just dial 0 for reception. Also there will be a little sing song in the bar after 11pm if you would like to join

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please.

Em Babycham??? Really??

I mean yes sir I'll have that ready for you just pop by reception

Hello again reception.

I wont be coming down for that drink if thats ok.

I just met an very elegantly dressed lady waiting on the lift.

I think she took offence at me staring at her , as she seems to have a rather manly beard.

She said some rather rude things to me, hitched up her skirt and waved a rather large penis in my direction.

I think I am just going to have my shower and go to bed

Oh my Christ that's Mr Thunderkiss!

I'll get this sorted sir I'm so sorry "

Mr Thunderkiss!!

That certainly explains the beard and the large penis.

As you seem to know him ill leave it at that but could you please ask him to take some advice from a doctor about his testicles.

They were nearly down at his knees clacking together like a newtons cradle....

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Good evening

Any room available with a rain forest shower and a king size bed please

You see The Brennan Brothers wouldn't even get that detail sorted out

That's why this is the best hotel I've ever stayed in

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good evening

Any room available with a rain forest shower and a king size bed please

You see The Brennan Brothers wouldn't even get that detail sorted out

That's why this is the best hotel I've ever stayed in "

Such high praise thank Mr BogM

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have double booked my room.

There are two young ladies that seem to be having sex on the bed of the room you gave me.

I just want to have a shower and get my head down Ive an early start tomorrow

Oh God no id never stay at the travel Inn.

If the young ladies dont mind me showering, ill try not to be in the way.

I was just a bit taken aback is all, they didnt seem to be bothered by my presence.

Thank you reception and thank you for the offer of a complimentary drink, ill be down in a jiffy.

Ill have a pint of Babycham please.

Em Babycham??? Really??

I mean yes sir I'll have that ready for you just pop by reception

Hello again reception.

I wont be coming down for that drink if thats ok.

I just met an very elegantly dressed lady waiting on the lift.

I think she took offence at me staring at her , as she seems to have a rather manly beard.

She said some rather rude things to me, hitched up her skirt and waved a rather large penis in my direction.

I think I am just going to have my shower and go to bed

Oh my Christ that's Mr Thunderkiss!

I'll get this sorted sir I'm so sorry

Mr Thunderkiss!!

That certainly explains the beard and the large penis.

As you seem to know him ill leave it at that but could you please ask him to take some advice from a doctor about his testicles.

They were nearly down at his knees clacking together like a newtons cradle...."

So he still hasn't gotten them looked at since his last stay

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will take my usual room, kingsize bed, walk in shower, jacuzzi outside in decking area and of course 24hr room service..

Thank you Bman77

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By *he rover returnedWoman over a year ago

xxx

Been a busy day, could I have a suite. I'd love something with a bite served on ice waiting for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I will take my usual room, kingsize bed, walk in shower, jacuzzi outside in decking area and of course 24hr room service..

Thank you Bman77

Mr Bman77 lovely to have you back sir. Em there has been a slight issue with your card, em the issue being that it has em, well it has declined sir. Perhaps you have another?

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By *anKinkyMan over a year ago

Carrick on Shannon

Dialing 0,0,0 Hi I'm in Room 50 ,The Themed Bondage Suite,could you send a Maid up please?,it's just a wee bit dusty

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been a busy day, could I have a suite. I'd love something with a bite served on ice waiting for me

Oh you're very welcome to the Fab hotel miss please do come in. Your suite is on the fourth floor. I've set up a small bar in the room for you with some glenmorangie on ice waiting for you. Also there's a most welcoming and helpful barman ready to serve you and I do believe if you ask nicely enough he may provide a bite of a different kind

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dialing 0,0,0 Hi I'm in Room 50 ,The Themed Bondage Suite,could you send a Maid up please?,it's just a wee bit dusty"

Mr Mankinky how many times have I told you it is simply dial one zero. Not zero three times

and also sir we don't have maids we have housekeepers, the themed bondage room has been renamed to The Fungeon.

Really Mr Mankinky keep up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will take my usual room, kingsize bed, walk in shower, jacuzzi outside in decking area and of course 24hr room service..

Thank you Bman77

Mr Bman77 lovely to have you back sir. Em there has been a slight issue with your card, em the issue being that it has em, well it has declined sir. Perhaps you have another?"

That's no bother, just use my expense account, the one for additional services.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello reception.

I hate to be a pain but could you send up maintenance, there seems to be an issue with the plumbing in the wall.

Its making a terrible racket.

Its probably just an airlock or something.

My best attempt at describing the noise its making would be if somebody was to rhythmically bang their head against the wall while being haunted by a ghost.

It only started about half an hour ago but has been thud, thud,whoaaaa,thud ,thud whoaaaa ever since

It might be an idea to ask the young couple next door if they can hear it too

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By *oingMan over a year ago

co. antrim

Hi reception, can I order some room service please?

Pizza and pints

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hello reception.

I hate to be a pain but could you send up maintenance, there seems to be an issue with the plumbing in the wall.

Its making a terrible racket.

Its probably just an airlock or something.

My best attempt at describing the noise its making would be if somebody was to rhythmically bang their head against the wall while being haunted by a ghost.

It only started about half an hour ago but has been thud, thud,whoaaaa,thud ,thud whoaaaa ever since

It might be an idea to ask the young couple next door if they can hear it too"

So sorry sir but the couple next door to you Mrmrs1234 haven't been away in such a long time and I'd hate to disturb them when they're trying to em relax!

Maybe you should knock into them yourself and see if they need any assistance with the eh (cough) plumbing

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By *anKinkyMan over a year ago

Carrick on Shannon

"Dialing 0,0,0 Hi I'm in Room 50 ,The Themed Bondage Suite,could you send a Maid up please?,it's just a wee bit dusty

Mr Mankinky how many times have I told you it is simply dial one zero. Not zero three times

and also sir we don't have maids we have housekeepers, the themed bondage room has been renamed to The Fungeon.

Really Mr Mankinky keep up "
But I dialed 0 once 3 times! reception must have been busy but thanks for getting back to me,did it myself couldn't be waiting.What time does the residents bar stay open till? many other Singles staying tonight?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello reception.

I hate to be a pain but could you send up maintenance, there seems to be an issue with the plumbing in the wall.

Its making a terrible racket.

Its probably just an airlock or something.

My best attempt at describing the noise its making would be if somebody was to rhythmically bang their head against the wall while being haunted by a ghost.

It only started about half an hour ago but has been thud, thud,whoaaaa,thud ,thud whoaaaa ever since

It might be an idea to ask the young couple next door if they can hear it too

So sorry sir but the couple next door to you Mrmrs1234 haven't been away in such a long time and I'd hate to disturb them when they're trying to em relax!

Maybe you should knock into them yourself and see if they need any assistance with the eh (cough) plumbing

I took your advice and went next door to see if they had the same issue.

But when i was about to knock on their door I could make out that they seem to be having an argument.

She seems to be shouting "give it to me" and he seems to be shouting something also but its hard to make out with all the noise that the plumbing is making.

If anything the banging is louder and faster than before.

Its probably best if you send maintenance up

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dialing 0,0,0 Hi I'm in Room 50 ,The Themed Bondage Suite,could you send a Maid up please?,it's just a wee bit dusty

Mr Mankinky how many times have I told you it is simply dial one zero. Not zero three times

and also sir we don't have maids we have housekeepers, the themed bondage room has been renamed to The Fungeon.

Really Mr Mankinky keep up But I dialed 0 once 3 times! reception must have been busy but thanks for getting back to me,did it myself couldn't be waiting.What time does the residents bar stay open till? many other Singles staying tonight?"

Bar is open until 2am sir there's a few singles around here somewhere alright