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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty crap at reading very subtle body language, although if a woman I've just met begins making lots of eye contact and touching me, then it's fairly safe to assume there is a physical attraction. Although she may just be a flirty type who's bluff has been well and truly called. |
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I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction |
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Making contact at a social among a bunch of people you never met before is indeed awkward business. Even though we are all here on the prowl . Couples have their internal obstacles as each needs the consent of the other half . Single men are hesitant as they are conditioned to political correctness in vanilla life with the side effect that entire generations lost the art of flirt and seduction when entering these games . Single ladies often are hesitant , even though they might want only a night of fun and frolic - after all a girl needs to feel safe before she can let go abs mainstream opinion about women who own their sexuality is still archaic at times in Ireland . That’s why greater social events usually take till late at night and after lots of booze inhibition may ease off …a pity to be fair as choices made when intoxicated are not necessarily the best ones . ‘It’s difficult where to start - but with a little effort and some guts as well accepting any refusal with a light heart - pro active approach to make new contact goes a long way , funny enough - the easiest contact making is in the smokers corner  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever had a social and on the way home regret that no one made a move to have some fun.
What signals do you give to suggest your up for fun people"
-----------
I think the main thing at any social is to simply be social go have fun and talk to most people, male or female. Whether in a pub or swingers party is comes down to just chit-chat with loads of people, little flirting and see where the night takes you...
Hopefully to a room full of scantily clad people!     |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
I'm completely rubbish at this. I always assume from the start that people aren't gonna be into me so I just go with a plan to have a laugh and then I'm left wondering "what if". You'd think I'd be better after 10 years at this game. Lol |
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By *azzuMan
over a year ago
belfast |
"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction "
I suppose its easy to say on here and maybe not so much in person for some but should this not be the standard approach?
We all know what we like and we all know others on here are the same/similar so it's easier to be more forward and not worry about someone saying...... hey hold on a minute you are jumping 5 dates ahead here
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Making contact at a social among a bunch of people you never met before is indeed awkward business. Even though we are all here on the prowl . Couples have their internal obstacles as each needs the consent of the other half . Single men are hesitant as they are conditioned to political correctness in vanilla life with the side effect that entire generations lost the art of flirt and seduction when entering these games . Single ladies often are hesitant , even though they might want only a night of fun and frolic - after all a girl needs to feel safe before she can let go abs mainstream opinion about women who own their sexuality is still archaic at times in Ireland . That’s why greater social events usually take till late at night and after lots of booze inhibition may ease off …a pity to be fair as choices made when intoxicated are not necessarily the best ones . ‘It’s difficult where to start - but with a little effort and some guts as well accepting any refusal with a light heart - pro active approach to make new contact goes a long way , funny enough - the easiest contact making is in the smokers corner "
I'm tellin ya fact: smokers are the best craic even if they smell! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction
I suppose its easy to say on here and maybe not so much in person for some but should this not be the standard approach?
We all know what we like and we all know others on here are the same/similar so it's easier to be more forward and not worry about someone saying...... hey hold on a minute you are jumping 5 dates ahead here
"
Yeah Im pretty forward tbh.
Id chat away a bit, and if thats going nicely Ill say something like "Id really like to kiss you!"
Hopefully they agree
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction "
I met a guy a couple years ago we got on great chatted and laughed for ages, I was hoping he'd make the first move but didn't so when got home I said feck here goes and texted and asked to meet again to be told. " no thanks not interested" so I'm always a little hesitant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve gone on first dates in the past couple of years and bar one date always ended up with a snog. In fact one first date ended up with me being lucky enough to get myself a blow job. I’m pretty ok at reading the body language and I’m pretty confident about getting at least a kiss. |
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By *azzuMan
over a year ago
belfast |
"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction
I suppose its easy to say on here and maybe not so much in person for some but should this not be the standard approach?
We all know what we like and we all know others on here are the same/similar so it's easier to be more forward and not worry about someone saying...... hey hold on a minute you are jumping 5 dates ahead here
Yeah Im pretty forward tbh.
Id chat away a bit, and if thats going nicely Ill say something like "Id really like to kiss you!"
Hopefully they agree
"
I bet they stutter first before replying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction
I suppose its easy to say on here and maybe not so much in person for some but should this not be the standard approach?
We all know what we like and we all know others on here are the same/similar so it's easier to be more forward and not worry about someone saying...... hey hold on a minute you are jumping 5 dates ahead here
Yeah Im pretty forward tbh.
Id chat away a bit, and if thats going nicely Ill say something like "Id really like to kiss you!"
Hopefully they agree
I bet they stutter first before replying "
there have been occasional blushes
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"Have you ever had a social and on the way home regret that no one made a move to have some fun.
What signals do you give to suggest your up for fun people"
I'll go in for a kiss if I'm interested or ask if they would like to meet again its the whole point of a social meet. The worst they can say is no I'm fine with rejection I'm not everyone's taste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time. |
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By *itenurse69 OP Couple
over a year ago
Fermanagh, Monaghan, |
Glad to see so many posts that express the same doubts at reading signals as us. When meeting another couple it's so hard to gage if your partner is interested in the other couple and also if the other couple are interested in the both of us. |
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"Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time. "
but would this suspense time not lead to building up expectation born by projected desires which increase by the time of suspense and therefor increase the risk of disappointment ? Just curious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time.
but would this suspense time not lead to building up expectation born by projected desires which increase by the time of suspense and therefor increase the risk of disappointment ? Just curious "
I had one social and we got on grat, didn't think he was interested, spent the night texting, I got home from work about 8 and texted him to say front door was unlocked and I was in bed waiting for him , it was hot hot hot |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Ye I'm not great at reading signals really I always expect it to be just a chat and nothing more. Luckily the men I met and have been interested in are better at reading signals than I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time.
but would this suspense time not lead to building up expectation born by projected desires which increase by the time of suspense and therefor increase the risk of disappointment ? Just curious "
Nope not if one doesn't have expectations in the first place which is how i try wire my mindset tbh. My response was referring to a meet where you knew the attraction and chemistry was there. However no one made a first move which happens and doesn't nessasarily mean it will happen or not the next time either. I like to get to know people over a few meets, it's always a better result in my experience anyway but in saying that i have had some amazing first time meets aswell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time.
but would this suspense time not lead to building up expectation born by projected desires which increase by the time of suspense and therefor increase the risk of disappointment ? Just curious
I had one social and we got on grat, didn't think he was interested, spent the night texting, I got home from work about 8 and texted him to say front door was unlocked and I was in bed waiting for him , it was hot hot hot "
Oh yes i have ticked that one off a few times but only one guy done it well. What i done was left the door open and got worken up to sex. One of three attempts ain't bad, he woke me kissing my neck in his uniform which was quickly removed and on the floor, it was very intense lol. I will leave the rest to your imagination. |
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"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction
I met a guy a couple years ago we got on great chatted and laughed for ages, I was hoping he'd make the first move but didn't so when got home I said feck here goes and texted and asked to meet again to be told. " no thanks not interested" so I'm always a little hesitant "
Eeeeppppp. Ok. Yeah I think I’d be nervous too. I think a couple of times I’ve met guys and I’ve had to say “Thanks but no thanks” and always felt dreadful.
A couple of times, guys have been downright pissy, saying I’m wrong or I clearly don’t know my own mind but I think if a kiss doesn’t happen, a meet won’t. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I will go in for a kiss if I’m interested. Then I just say “do you fancy meeting again, somewhere more private”.
It’s not like dating where you have to be subtle… it’s why we are here… for physical attraction
I met a guy a couple years ago we got on great chatted and laughed for ages, I was hoping he'd make the first move but didn't so when got home I said feck here goes and texted and asked to meet again to be told. " no thanks not interested" so I'm always a little hesitant
Eeeeppppp. Ok. Yeah I think I’d be nervous too. I think a couple of times I’ve met guys and I’ve had to say “Thanks but no thanks” and always felt dreadful.
A couple of times, guys have been downright pissy, saying I’m wrong or I clearly don’t know my own mind but I think if a kiss doesn’t happen, a meet won’t. "
Oh ye the kiss is when you know the chemistry is there
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i have but what i like about when it happens is the next meet is even more intense. I actually really like when it happens i don't know what it is physiological i guess, being left with the thoughts of the attraction and the suspense waiting for next time.
but would this suspense time not lead to building up expectation born by projected desires which increase by the time of suspense and therefor increase the risk of disappointment ? Just curious
I had one social and we got on grat, didn't think he was interested, spent the night texting, I got home from work about 8 and texted him to say front door was unlocked and I was in bed waiting for him , it was hot hot hot "
OMG! Door open scenario. You minx
Cannot get more exciting than that
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"Ye I'm not great at reading signals really I always expect it to be just a chat and nothing more. Luckily the men I met and have been interested in are better at reading signals than I am "
Reading signals accurately is mostly science-based, but appropriately acting on them is an artform ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh lord that didn't sound quite so predator ish in my head
Love it you divil
rub, that made me smile ya we minx "
Ms me it was lovely to me you last night gorgeous xx |
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
"oh lord that didn't sound quite so predator ish in my head
Love it you divil
rub, that made me smile ya we minx
Ms me it was lovely to me you last night gorgeous xx"
ahh I think the same about you! you had me in knots!! such a fantastic lady |
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"Making contact at a social among a bunch of people you never met before is indeed awkward business. Even though we are all here on the prowl . Couples have their internal obstacles as each needs the consent of the other half . Single men are hesitant as they are conditioned to political correctness in vanilla life with the side effect that entire generations lost the art of flirt and seduction when entering these games . Single ladies often are hesitant , even though they might want only a night of fun and frolic - after all a girl needs to feel safe before she can let go abs mainstream opinion about women who own their sexuality is still archaic at times in Ireland . That’s why greater social events usually take till late at night and after lots of booze inhibition may ease off …a pity to be fair as choices made when intoxicated are not necessarily the best ones . ‘It’s difficult where to start - but with a little effort and some guts as well accepting any refusal with a light heart - pro active approach to make new contact goes a long way , funny enough - the easiest contact making is in the smokers corner "
Very perceptive, and true. |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
Smokers corner always guaranteed to be best initial chats. Yes, we smell like tinkers, but the start up chats at M&G always seems easier out there.
Last one I was at, a few non-smokers came out as they saw how much banter was going on.
Maybe givea smoker a chance and afull pack of Wrigley's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I find a touch on the arm is generally a good indicator. If you get a reciprocal touch then it's safe to say things are going in the right direction. As for the drinking comments I don't drink so have just learned to deal with rejection if it happens. Its no big deal and nobody is dead so just move on. |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
As for signals, not a clue!
One Fabber on the night I walked to bus stop and didn't realise we'd end up kissing and she wanted me to grab her bus and stay but I hadn't made excuses for the whole night.
Cursing that still today as she was gorgeous and amazing kisser  |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"Most people are scared of being rejected, but the old rule applies, "you don't ask you don't get" or as someone once said "the answer will ALWAYS be no until you ask""
Beautifully articulated. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Fortuitously, I am extraordinarily adept at reading nuanced signals, but insufficiently timeous in acting upon them; aka following through.
However, I have resolved to rectify that issue. |
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