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Things you can say having sex and shopping in Tesco

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By *og-Man OP Man over a year ago

somewhere

I'll start with the obvious

Every little helps

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

A pound of sausage please

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By *asual777Man over a year ago

i travel all over

Do you do anal ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ll take you up this aisle

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By *oxyvixen99Woman over a year ago

Newtownabbey

That looks off

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By *ohnFKMan over a year ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

Oh, sorry about that...Where do you keep your wipes?

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan over a year ago

Midlands

The smell of fish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The smell of fish

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By *uriousVoyeurMan over a year ago

Northside

Could we get this cleaned up please???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Spill on aisle 5

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By *riendly_fun_guyMan over a year ago

Dublin

You can’t reach… Let me help you with that….

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan over a year ago

Midlands

Spillage in aisle 1 & 2 can we have assistance please. Stat!

There’s hair growing on your fruit.

Mind the gap.

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By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

Unexpected item in the (tea)bagging area

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By *r_Insatiable666Man over a year ago

Cork

I've seen bigger

Don't forget toothpaste

I've got my hands full, can you put your hand in my pocket?

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By *og-Man OP Man over a year ago

somewhere

Isn't that your wan off fab over there

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

Do you have a club card?

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Fucking hell, the price of that!

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By *ifewantstoplayCouple over a year ago

somewhere

That definitely wasn’t value for money.

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By *wingme22Man over a year ago

Galway

Ffs you gave me dubble that amount last time!

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

I need a leek now.

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By *olm_irishMan over a year ago

Clonee

They look juicy

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

I think I'll use the rear entrance today.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is this the self service queue

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By *ildAtlanticSecretCouple over a year ago

around Clare, Galway, Limerick

Can I recycle this after I am finished with it

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 27/10/23 10:32:36]

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

Love the packaging

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By *r_Insatiable666Man over a year ago

Cork

I don't know what you plan on using that rolling pin for

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Be careful with those eggs.

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By *uriousVoyeurMan over a year ago

Northside

I think I'll double bag it,just in case!!!

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

I'll hold your melons

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By *leasurer77Man over a year ago

Athlone

This is so much better than Dunnes.

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By *wingme22Man over a year ago

Galway

Is that gone off or is it soposed to look like that?

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By *og-Man OP Man over a year ago

somewhere

Pleased to meet you

Meat to please you

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By *lue eyes for funCouple over a year ago

Leicester

I'll take your biggest cucumber please

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Gosh, it's such a big, cavernous place..

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By *lue eyes for funCouple over a year ago

Leicester

have you got any durex and lube ?

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

I think I might come here again!

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By *uriousVoyeurMan over a year ago

Northside

"have you got any durex and lube ? "

What kind of Tesco do you shop in????

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By *amsevenMan over a year ago

cork

I can't find it

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By *orset.JMan over a year ago

Weymouth

Ketchup / Tomato sauce

On the label It says to

Shake upright vigorously

Turn upside down

Flip the lid

One quick shake

Squeeze gently and it will

Come evenly

Otherwise it will just squirt everywhere

But I prefer the later as I am messy eater

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By *elfastDMan over a year ago

belfast

I’ll bag it myself

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By *onny17Man over a year ago

city

Excuse me would you be happy to help

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple over a year ago

ireland

Can I click and collect

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By *ifewantstoplayCouple over a year ago

somewhere

Would you stop calling it the bagging area

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By *onny17Man over a year ago

city

This tastes soo good

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By *elfastDMan over a year ago

belfast

That could be classed as false advertising

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

"Would you stop calling it the bagging area"

Brilliant

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

Wow, 2 for the price of 1.

I should cum here more often.

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan over a year ago

Midlands

Plenty of cream and milk in stock.

Front door full, use the back door please.

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By *ublustMan over a year ago

Dublin

Not really one for Tesco but maybe in a smaller supermarket...

Cleanup in the middle aisle

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan over a year ago

Midlands

Fk Get this done quick, the rugby’s on

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By *elfastDMan over a year ago

belfast

During weekdays there’s always too many old folk here

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By *arrot_in_a_boxCouple over a year ago

kinda dublin

You're going in the freezer as soon as I get home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can I get some loyalty points for coming here often.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

50% extra for free

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By *ofusplusCouple over a year ago

Limerick

Take your place in the queue.

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

Staff should use the rear entrance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is something you will hear in Tesco..

"There is a caller at the back door, please attend."

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By *ing PaddyMan over a year ago

South County Dublin

Is this bread fresh

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By *rRiosMan over a year ago

dublin

[Removed by poster at 27/10/23 17:47:19]

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By *rRiosMan over a year ago

dublin

Nice plumbs

Lovely nuts

Plump melons

Shall we go to Five Guys after the tescos?

Mmm, I love five guys in and around my mouth…

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

Why do I always end up with more than what I can hold in my hands?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Those bananas are ripe and firm,..

Now to collect the meatballs, and a nice jus.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Slip it in there, every little helps.

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By *ndqtMan over a year ago

The Wild West

Oh they're lovely with custard....

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By *uteirishaWoman over a year ago

ghost town

I need you to provide me with your milk..

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By *oinNumberMan over a year ago

On the Edge of

It’s in date

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry....what's your name...?

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By *antasyFrolicksWoman over a year ago

Behind The Bales

Cash or Card ??

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan over a year ago

Midlands

Sniff sniff, sourdough in the oven

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The baguette is on display at the front near the bagging area

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By *ohannonMan over a year ago

Louth / Meath

Fancy a creampie?

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By *r_Insatiable666Man over a year ago

Cork

Can you exchange this for credit?

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

"There's quite a lot of people here today."

"I wonder what's on offer this weekend."

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By *lue eyes for funCouple over a year ago

Leicester

Excuse me sir... i cant find your sausage, can you help me ?

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By *lue eyes for funCouple over a year ago

Leicester

excuse me miss can you show me where your melons are ?

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By *arry and AnnCouple over a year ago

Louth

Got more than i meant to.. might need one of the lads to give me a hand

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By *arry and AnnCouple over a year ago

Louth

Think im gonna need a bag for this

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By *o strings but a G-stringMan over a year ago

city

"Think im gonna need a bag for this

Ah bollox, there's a hole in the bag

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By *o strings but a G-stringMan over a year ago

city

I brought my own bag but I really want your box

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By *og-Man OP Man over a year ago

somewhere

Do you prefer a big one on a saturday or to go in a few times during the week

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

You can't park there

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By *oxyvixen99Woman over a year ago

Newtownabbey

This one is leaking

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By *arry and AnnCouple over a year ago

Louth

Do ye get time and a half for the bank holiday?

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By *ichael CoolMan over a year ago

unknown

Drop your bits on the conveyer belt please

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By *ichael CoolMan over a year ago

unknown

I'll scan that for you.

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By *ifewantstoplayCouple over a year ago

somewhere

Do you think the neighbours seen us!

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By *ickin2Man over a year ago

Kilkenny

Careful. Will you take the eggs

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

Does this one squirt or spray?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you get your token for the bukkake? Brack? Bare brack? Halloween bråck ")

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Take it out and try it again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Missus, put down that aubergine

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By *ickin2Man over a year ago

Kilkenny

That looks soft.

Remove the packaging carefully

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By *riendly_fun_guyMan over a year ago

Dublin

Ahhh there you go they’re opening up….

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By *o strings but a G-stringMan over a year ago

city

Is there a club card deal for that?

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By *oghunter33Woman over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I'm boycotting Tesco, so it's a 'sorry mate but I wouldn't go near there'

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By *electableicecreamMan over a year ago

The West

Does this smell off to you?

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By *urplewings1Woman over a year ago

Balbriggan

Love this thread! And I know who else would love it! I'm sure she's heard a few

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By *og-Man OP Man over a year ago

somewhere

"Love this thread! And I know who else would love it! I'm sure she's heard a few

Im sure she does

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By *ollingwood69Man over a year ago

Cork

I prefer self service

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

"Oh, looks like this one has gone bad."

"Damn I lost track of time here, better finish up soon."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Put it back

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By *ezoMan over a year ago

The Kingdom

I got a voucher for that.

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By *hropmMan over a year ago

shrewsbury

Nice melons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh you’re done I’ll use self service

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