I feel you OP. I'm also useless at it. I've no problem talking to men, but because until recently I've always worked in a male dominated industry, and my hobby of 30 odd years is also male dominated, I tend to talk to all men like I'm their mate or a colleague. I have zero game. |
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In the past I was brutal at this... But as I've gotten older I've learned to to take this stuff too seriously and just be myself. If there's no chemistry then there is no chemistry, so let it go and move on. If there is then let it flow naturally. It's more important to read the signs and react to feedback than to have tons of witty banter at the tip of your tongue. If you're both into it then great. If not don't force it. |
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I am unable to flirt and terrible at knowing if someone is flirting with me but I just have the chats and hope for the best. I’d rather be able to have a laugh with someone than worry about flirting. |
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I'm usually completely unaware that someone is flirting with me and I've got no game for flirting. At least not deliberately .
I honestly just prefer to have the chats and if there's chemistry there's chemistry. Flirting will happen if the moment is right
Another thing worth noting is that it can be hard to be a single guy at a social event. There's a lot of couples and if there's a lot of single guys it can feel really hard to break in, especially if there's lads who are good in a crowd and have all the chats.
Sometimes you might introduce yourself and get a vibe is time to move on after a few minutes and I think it's good to be able to read those signals. It's not personal. Everyone is looking for something on particular.
I find I get on better in some environments better then others. Big social events with loud music and a big crowd are less attractive to me than a nice chill daytime social where everyone can hear each other and relax and mix at leisure.
Maybe have a think about the kind of environment that works best for you and stack the benefits in your favour. If you can't flirt on cue then don't, it won't come out right if you feel under pressure. You can still be present and available for the people who are happy to interact and you might make some friends and a connections that can't be grown over time. |
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Being flirty is easy if you are comfortable in your own skin and there's chemistry with the person you're talking to. Have a genuine chat, find a topic you share a common interest over, enjoy that sharing a common interest can make someone more attractive. Tell them you find them extra attractive because of this.
Witty one liners about all sorts are something that I can actually be good at but it leads to miscommunication sometimes. Just because I can make a quick flirty joke about BDSM does not mean that's what I'm into and it can be hard to recover from that
But telling someone I find that has a common interest in Star Trek that seeing them dressed as 7 of 9 would leave me very close to a warp core breach is very flirty to the right person (and, for clarity, ONLY the right person  )
Also I'm witty with language but some women respond better to touch like some find it acceptable and flirty to put your hands on their knee or a little smack on the ass. I personally can't do that unless invited, it's just my flirtation language really
'Just be yourself' is over used but very applicable. The more comfortable you feel the easier making those flirty connections will be!
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telling someone I find that has a common interest in Star Trek that seeing them dressed as 7 of 9 would leave me very close to a warp core breach is very flirty to the right person (and, for clarity, ONLY the right person )
That's actually hilarious  |
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"telling someone I find that has a common interest in Star Trek that seeing them dressed as 7 of 9 would leave me very close to a warp core breach is very flirty to the right person (and, for clarity, ONLY the right person )
That's actually hilarious "
seeing any lady dressed as 7 of 9 would nearly give me a core breach |
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I'm the opposite. It just comes out of me. Sometimes I don't even want to flirt but all of a sudden she's batten eyelids at me and I'm like, aww shit I did it again didn't I.
Does anyone know how to switch it off ? |
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By *indenMan 2 weeks ago
naas which is South West of Dublin |
"I'm the opposite. It just comes out of me. Sometimes I don't even want to flirt but all of a sudden she's batten eyelids at me and I'm like, aww shit I did it again didn't I.
Does anyone know how to switch it off ? "
You poor bastard, should get a disability badge for that…….. 
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"I'm the opposite. It just comes out of me. Sometimes I don't even want to flirt but all of a sudden she's batten eyelids at me and I'm like, aww shit I did it again didn't I.
Does anyone know how to switch it off ? "
Oh Tex  |
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