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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Two women are chatting in office.
Woman 1 "I had sex last night, did you?" Woman 2: "Yes". Woman 1: "Was it good?" Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?" Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?" Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour and when we got home -remember there was no electricity- so I had to light frickin' candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This British explorer is in the dark jungle, going where no western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter in one. One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a hand- some, black young man engaged in "playful activities" with ten beautiful, black young women, all in the nude. The young man had the biggest, strongest penis the Brit had ever seen, or even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked his guide who this man was.
"He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other side of the lake, Sir," came the reply. "This is his morning ritual."
"Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion, "how did his penis get to be that size?"
The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man, who seems to get very agitated by the conversation.
"Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his assistant on his return.
"He said, 'There's nothing wrong with my penis. Doesn't the white man's shrink in cold water?'"
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