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By *j-1990 OP Man
over a year ago
Belfast |
Anyone else get genuinely upset over how people on here treat them.Just
went to a meet with someone who I've chatted to for several months and had the door slammed in face. Have been blocked countless times after obliging a picture, have it as clear as I can in my profile that I don't want to deal with this kind of shit and if people are in any way shallow or disinterested in someone's personality to just not chat to me in the first place.
Not sure how to find the genuine nice people on here - and sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but if you fall into the huge camp of people that is rather not chat to, then by my definition you after not a nice person. |
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Here's ur bro man some times u get to meet lots of people n then all of a sudden u get no meets for ages no mater how nice u are . I had more meets on a dating site to b honest but u also get messers on those sites as we'll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say you're trying to hard, just relax your brains. It is only frustration and depression if you let it be, but think of the site as more like being in pub on a Saturday night.
Chin up man.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know what some people have no manners, it's shocking behaviour to slam a door in anyone's face, they could have at least been polite about changing their mind, however just put it down to experience, I advise a social meet first...best of luck.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand frustration and annoyance, to say the least, if someone was as rude to do as you have said. However, if something or someone gets to you to any great lingering extent on here I would say it's best to take a step back for a bit. Ultimately those that that apply to aren't worth a second thought to allow them to upset you.
Admittedly it's one thing to say "don't let it get to you" and it's another to put into practice; we all get wound up sometimes and to have the door slammed in your face is something else to be fair. I personally think it's healthy to vent in that situation and seek reassurance, much better than bottling it up. There's plenty of good eggs on here 
Perhaps social meets first, to help avoid such instances but you can never account for bad manners to that extent. Best of luck, OP! |
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That's awful. Why would you invite someone round then treat them like that? If there was any doubts or nerves then meet somewhere neutral first. No need for that.
If that's what happened, of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know what some people have no manners, it's shocking behaviour to slam a door in anyone's face, they could have at least been polite about changing their mind, however just put it down to experience, I advise a social meet first...best of luck.."
 |
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I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. There is no need for that sort of treatment to another person. I agree with the others when they say always have a social meet first, gives you a better chance to judge what likely to happen.
At least if either one of you have second thoughts after the coffee/drink because there is no chemistry there is a cooling off period.
Just remember if anyone is unnecessarily nasty or mean to you, that automatically makes you better than them, their loss.
Whether through fear or ignorance. |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
It happens its rude and yes its beyond any form of commom decency to another person...
But really would you want anything with such an apparently unpleasant person anyway..
Forget it .... lifes too short to look backwards or try and second guess other people's motives
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People here , just as in real life can be rude, nasty etc...
But you'll meet lots of genuine fun people here who far outnumber the nasty ones.... just move on and see it as their loss and best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if someone on here actually upsets u then maybe a bit thin skinned for a site like this,lot of keyboard warriors and trolls,personally I wouldn't waste anytime on them at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cant agree with the thin skin comment.
This lifestyle can wear anyone down no matter how thick the skin.
We know that there is genuine guys around but to hit that match that goes from just sex to fuck me that was amazing is like waiting for the roulette wheel to drop on green.
To the OP you are verified have lovely pics keep the chin up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys often get treated like shit on here. There's lots of nice people to though. Just move on. You deserve better.
"
Women often get treated like shit also..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys often get treated like shit on here. There's lots of nice people to though. Just move on. You deserve better.
Women often get treated like shit also.. "
Yes I know.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it is their loss and now they will never know or maybe it was a great escape for you..lot's of people here would have got a no show after traveling and arranging things around the meet best move on and dont dwell on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys often get treated like shit on here. There's lots of nice people to though. Just move on. You deserve better.
Women often get treated like shit also.. "
By guys who just cannot take no for an answer.
And it's sad tbh. Even the married guy gets a bum rap. While his wife is getting messed around by wasters he can't get any joy with anyone as he is seen as cheating.
But hey ho that's the way it goes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else get genuinely upset over how people on here treat them.Just
went to a meet with someone who I've chatted to for several months and had the door slammed in face. Have been blocked countless times after obliging a picture, have it as clear as I can in my profile that I don't want to deal with this kind of shit and if people are in any way shallow or disinterested in someone's personality to just not chat to me in the first place.
Not sure how to find the genuine nice people on here - and sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but if you fall into the huge camp of people that is rather not chat to, then by my definition you after not a nice person."
I like to think the level of ignorance you described in the door slamming incident , has more to the story. Or maybe I'm just hoping it does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Didn't read the comments but I'm sure thick skin has been mentioned. You have women on here pal who get dizzy and fucked up with the attention they receive. Plus u also just have down right ignorant people like some in real life. Ur better off takin here with a pinch of salt and go and pull on a weekend Night in pubs/clubs. If u get lucky here with a hottie, all the better. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am I the only one who is puzzled why you felt it was a good plan to arrange to meet up on a first meet at the front door of a total stranger? You had the door slammed in your face. That's odd. Maybe you would have preferred to have gotten a really unwelcome reaction from your host and the door locked behind you as you walked inside?
The saying that God gave man a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one of them at a time springs to mind. ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly this is in all walks of life but that kind of behaviour and level of ignorance is inexcusable...our life experiences can toughen us or make us too soft...try to find the happy medium. Op, you seem like a lovely well grounded lad, you are young, don't let this be the experience that run's you off or hardens your skin...keep the faith and let it change only how you arrange your meeting's. My first meet I organised didn't turn up and I was left sitting alone in a hotel. I had plenty of time to look at how I had handled myself as you are only responsible for your own behaviour. It changed how I organised meets but not me...yes it was a little deflating but I figured I was better off for not meeting them. I told a fellow fabber, that I had built up a great communication with and he popped over the following morning...a most amazing experience. Sometimes we have a bad experience that highlights a great one... I hope this is the case for you. You are in charge of how this affects you, head up, shoulders back, continue to be your respectful self and be fabulous...life is a learning curve...swing round those bends in style |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this is in all walks of life but that kind of behaviour and level of ignorance is inexcusable...our life experiences can toughen us or make us too soft...try to find the happy medium. Op, you seem like a lovely well grounded lad, you are young, don't let this be the experience that run's you off or hardens your skin...keep the faith and let it change only how you arrange your meeting's. My first meet I organised didn't turn up and I was left sitting alone in a hotel. I had plenty of time to look at how I had handled myself as you are only responsible for your own behaviour. It changed how I organised meets but not me...yes it was a little deflating but I figured I was better off for not meeting them. I told a fellow fabber, that I had built up a great communication with and he popped over the following morning...a most amazing experience. Sometimes we have a bad experience that highlights a great one... I hope this is the case for you. You are in charge of how this affects you, head up, shoulders back, continue to be your respectful self and be fabulous...life is a learning curve...swing round those bends in style"
Love it |
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By *ean0001Man
over a year ago
Dublin West |
First rule always have a vanilla meet before, then if they dont turn up its no big deal, and always have it in a public place.
Second rule, always remember the first rule.
Have been burned in the past and dont intend to be again.
The world is full of nutters. With time you learn to spot them early.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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jj having met you on a few occasions, I can vouch that you are 100% genuine and yes, the cock pic is genuine.
You wear your heart on your sleeve BUT does your profile really tell people about the whole you? People are judgemental, they are shallow but if you don't lay your cards fully on the table and raise expectations...then you are the architect of your own disillusionment.
That's genuine advice, to a decent guy, try it....you might be surprised mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"jj having met you on a few occasions, I can vouch that you are 100% genuine and yes, the cock pic is genuine.
You wear your heart on your sleeve BUT does your profile really tell people about the whole you? People are judgemental, they are shallow but if you don't lay your cards fully on the table and raise expectations...then you are the architect of your own disillusionment.
That's genuine advice, to a decent guy, try it....you might be surprised mate"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else get genuinely upset over how people on here treat them.Just
went to a meet with someone who I've chatted to for several months and had the door slammed in face. Have been blocked countless times after obliging a picture, have it as clear as I can in my profile that I don't want to deal with this kind of shit and if people are in any way shallow or disinterested in someone's personality to just not chat to me in the first place.
Not sure how to find the genuine nice people on here - and sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but if you fall into the huge camp of people that is rather not chat to, then by my definition you after not a nice person."
Had you swapped pics with the person you were due to meet? Could it have been someone elses door? |
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By *j-1990 OP Man
over a year ago
Belfast |
Anything you'd change lad is be grateful if advice, I'm sure I'm not the best at describing myself, who is us are - insecurities are greatly magnified through our own lense, and our good points feel like boasting rather than stating fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties.."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties.."
Very well said, and unfortunately there is also a mindset on fab that females are defenseless victims whose word should never be doubted, while men who complain of poor treatment just need to "man up". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties..
Very well said, and unfortunately there is also a mindset on fab that females are defenseless victims whose word should never be doubted, while men who complain of poor treatment just need to "man up"."
....I think everyone accepts that there are divas on fab...both male and female. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP is there something about yourself that you didn't tell the person? Do you look different to your pics? Or have some sort of disability that might have shocked someone if they didn't know about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties..
Very well said, and unfortunately there is also a mindset on fab that females are defenseless victims whose word should never be doubted, while men who complain of poor treatment just need to "man up".....I think everyone accepts that there are divas on fab...both male and female. "
.correct..this point is made with no reference to gender... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this is in all walks of life but that kind of behaviour and level of ignorance is inexcusable...our life experiences can toughen us or make us too soft...try to find the happy medium. Op, you seem like a lovely well grounded lad, you are young, don't let this be the experience that run's you off or hardens your skin...keep the faith and let it change only how you arrange your meeting's. My first meet I organised didn't turn up and I was left sitting alone in a hotel. I had plenty of time to look at how I had handled myself as you are only responsible for your own behaviour. It changed how I organised meets but not me...yes it was a little deflating but I figured I was better off for not meeting them. I told a fellow fabber, that I had built up a great communication with and he popped over the following morning...a most amazing experience. Sometimes we have a bad experience that highlights a great one... I hope this is the case for you. You are in charge of how this affects you, head up, shoulders back, continue to be your respectful self and be fabulous...life is a learning curve...swing round those bends in style
Brilliant.... "
Really well said and something we can all relate to
Chin up mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an aside, Swinging is no place, for a single guy that can't handle rejection. Females and couples have no shortage of guys to choose from and have every right to exercise choice.....some just do it in a nicer manner than others. Retain some dignity, don't be bitter, pick yourself up and move on. Keep your expectations realistic and you start off on a good footing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties.."
I've met xxplicit and he should give all single guys hope.....if he can get a meet then we're all in with a shout 
lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"have to say this has been a worry of mine since i joined fab, i genuinely feel there are people on here with issues and depression is a very serious thing, this place is ridiculously cruel at times, i myself have been treated like a complete sap this week by several people, i have a great group of friends and a very healthy successful life outside of fab and it can hurt like shit at the time but thankfully i get up the next day and shrug my shoulders. the key is definitely to have a life away from fab. But the 'your better then that' is unrealistic if your prone to depression im afraid, people in that situation are unable to process that thought....but genuinely people, we need to think about how we treat others and we cant expect everyone to have a hide of a rhino and a lifetime of emotional experience to allow them to deal effectively with fabs cruelties..
I've met xxplicit and he should give all single guys hope.....if he can get a meet then we're all in with a shout
lol"
.n'er a truer word spoken... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP is there something about yourself that you didn't tell the person? Do you look different to your pics? Or have some sort of disability that might have shocked someone if they didn't know about it?"
I was thinking the same!
Nobody just 'slams the door' in someone's face for no reason (especially after inviting them over),
we're only hearing one side of the 'story'. More to this than what's been said I'm sure  |
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By *ale4U2Man
over a year ago
Nearby |
Unfortunately some people in their loneliness or in their constant strive to to seek attention that they might not get in 'the real world' set up camp in Fab land and hide behind their alter egos. It's an escape from reality where nobody knows them and they are taken generally at face value.
I hope that these people in their fragile state don't find themselves in to deep and further add to their current woes by not being able to take rejection or snide criticism (which happens regularly on this) ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately some people in their loneliness or in their constant strive to to seek attention that they might not get in 'the real world' set up camp in Fab land and hide behind their alter egos. It's an escape from reality where nobody knows them and they are taken generally at face value.
I hope that these people in their fragile state don't find themselves in to deep and further add to their current woes by not being able to take rejection or snide criticism (which happens regularly on this) .... "
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