So we all know how it works , but last week ,I met someone for some nsa fun ..and it was fun . But I have seen them in passing a few times and they make a beline to talk. The whole point of NSA is exactly that or am I missing something. Love to hear everyone's thoughts on this. |
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As far as I know no strings attached means there is no relationship tied to it not that you must ignore the person and never speak again. You can have NSA fun with a friend and a NSA meet can become a friendship.
If it bothers you just be up front and say you are not looking more that you had but be prepared that a person may feel like you used them especially if it was all chatty before the deed was done. |
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I barley know her, I just joked one day about how what he doesn't know won't hurt him ,sex was offered on a plate,I said beforehand this is NSA. I don't mind chatting etc it the deliberate going out of her way to bump into me |
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"I barley know her, I just joked one day about how what he doesn't know won't hurt him ,sex was offered on a plate,I said beforehand this is NSA. I don't mind chatting etc it the deliberate going out of her way to bump into me"
You perused someone who was in a relationship. I guess what goes around... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mmm maybe they just don't know how to react in the situation. I had some NSA fun last summer. But every now and then I run into him in Lidl. This hadn't happened to me before as I didn't meet local people normally. So I never knew should I just ignore him or make polite chit chat about the weather. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so glad that all the people I've been with nsa like me enough as a friend not to run away from me in public. On other hand... I would never consider opening my legs for someone who doesn't respect or like me to begin with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the face of it, she seems to have enjoyed it, so that's a plus!. If you're not looking for a repeat, just tell her so, rather than having to dodge her in the future. |
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"Not here for a lecture or to be judged"
Then don’t ask for opinions on a public forum.
It very much looks like you used this girl. NSA does not mean that a person isn’t a person, and people are unpredictable can and have feelings and connections to those that they have sex with. Saying, “I told her before it was NSA” doesn’t give you a free pass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm so glad that all the people I've been with nsa like me enough as a friend not to run away from me in public. On other hand... I would never consider opening my legs for someone who doesn't respect or like me to begin with"
This guy might want to be discreet and not be interested in chit chat in public? I dunno just a possibility |
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"I'm so glad that all the people I've been with nsa like me enough as a friend not to run away from me in public. On other hand... I would never consider opening my legs for someone who doesn't respect or like me to begin with
This guy might want to be discreet and not be interested in chit chat in public? I dunno just a possibility "
I respect that, but from the way I’m reading it this guy feels that the person should just stay away. After the “your BF doesn’t need to know”, it seems a tad unfair.
I’m all for each to their own but I think respect for others has to come into it. |
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"I barley know her, I just joked one day about how what he doesn't know won't hurt him ,sex was offered on a plate,I said beforehand this is NSA. I don't mind chatting etc it the deliberate going out of her way to bump into me"
So this was someone you already knew and interacted with on some level? Presumably she would have said hello and exchanged pleasantries if she had bumped into you prior to this, so I'm not sure why you were expecting her to change established behaviour now?
Sounds more like you're regretting your own actions and wanted to take the 'I'll pretend it didn't happen and just ignore her very existence' route, but because you shat on your own doorstep, and will run into her here, there and everywhere, you can't.
As others have pointed out, NSA doesn't mean treating someone like a leper afterwards, just means you're not planning on registering for wedding china or even changing your Facebook status. If the only thing she's done is said hello and made conversation as normal, I think she's being the smart one, as that would draw less attention than sudden inexplicable changes in attitude toward someone that might raise questions   |
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"I barley know her, I just joked one day about how what he doesn't know won't hurt him ,sex was offered on a plate,I said beforehand this is NSA. I don't mind chatting etc it the deliberate going out of her way to bump into me
So this was someone you already knew and interacted with on some level? Presumably she would have said hello and exchanged pleasantries if she had bumped into you prior to this, so I'm not sure why you were expecting her to change established behaviour now?
Sounds more like you're regretting your own actions and wanted to take the 'I'll pretend it didn't happen and just ignore her very existence' route, but because you shat on your own doorstep, and will run into her here, there and everywhere, you can't.
As others have pointed out, NSA doesn't mean treating someone like a leper afterwards, just means you're not planning on registering for wedding china or even changing your Facebook status. If the only thing she's done is said hello and made conversation as normal, I think she's being the smart one, as that would draw less attention than sudden inexplicable changes in attitude toward someone that might raise questions "
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Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her. |
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"Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her."
Ok... Well how does she act when you're there? Is she trying to get you out of your clothes? Is she touching you inappropriately? Making suggestive comments in front of your colleagues that worry you they may become suspicious? You'll have to give us a bit more than 'she talks to me when she sees me' for us to understand why you find her behaviour so reprehensible or unreasonable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we all know how it works , but last week ,I met someone for some nsa fun ..and it was fun . But I have seen them in passing a few times and they make a beline to talk. The whole point of NSA is exactly that or am I missing something. Love to hear everyone's thoughts on this."
When you’re in an NSA relationship, you usually try to limit your interactions with the other person to just sex, depending on what you two agree on at the beginning. You’re also free to date and sleep with other people — just make sure everyone practices safe sex and is honest about what they truly want.
NSA fun is a lady/man looking for to meet you. So she is demanding you to be fully single. Nnd she is full of expectations and judgments before ever meeting more than three times, just a like a date, but from fab. Stay away if you are not looking for a relationship |
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Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her."
Maybe the person like you No problem to have a chat, have a few more shags and talk to the person in private, that you at any means want anything other that casual sex. |
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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her."
You asked a question re NSA and were given answers based on available info. You didn't meet in fab land so you took a risk and now you should address it with the lady and explain. For the record, NSA does not mean no contact after sex. Best of look. |
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"Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her."
You asked the question, “am I missing something”.
Yes, nsa does not mean you get to dictate how another person behaves after you have had sex with them. You encouraged them to be unfaithful and this can cause guilt, to negate this guilt they might approach you and attempt to be friendly so than rather just cheating as a selfish act they can perhaps bring meaning to it. Both men and women do this.
People are irrational and unpredictable about mundane, every day things. You can’t predict how they will react when both sex and guilt are involved.
Be polite to her, make yourself clear what you want but be aware that what YOU want may not be important to other people. |
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Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we all know how it works , but last week ,I met someone for some nsa fun ..and it was fun . But I have seen them in passing a few times and they make a beline to talk. The whole point of NSA is exactly that or am I missing something. Love to hear everyone's thoughts on this."
Well firstly..there is no limit on how long a NSA can last...some people have NSA for ages simply because it's both what they want and it's good for both...and tbh l certainly wouldn't think it's nice that a guy would totally ignore a lady just cause he thinks he's had his oats with her now so now doesn't want to have anymore to do with her ...to me ..maybe you rocked her World and she wants more ..but respect for her should always be present..wether you want to fuck her again or not ... |
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"Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole."
That’s the whole point of NSA to YOU. She may have different feelings about it.
Messing about with someone in a relationship is like knowingly buying stolen goods. You may not think that YOU have done anything wrong but you facilitated the wrongdoing and were complicit in that.
I’m not saying you are a band person but you made a bad choice and these are the consequences. Try to deal with it as best you can. |
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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Listen as always on these forums someone mised the point, I work in various places regularly , outdoors so I can say with confidence who comes and goes, now this person starts to show up when I'm there. The assumption brigade please continue to asume that I've done something wrong. I have no problem saying hello or even chatting to her.
You asked a question re NSA and were given answers based on available info. You didn't meet in fab land so you took a risk and now you should address it with the lady and explain. For the record, NSA does not mean no contact after sex. Best of look."
Luck not look. Sorry |
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"Not here for a lecture or to be judged"
But you ask for our opinion in public?
First off she seems to have enjoyed it and would like to meet again, hence why she's looking to chat. But if she's in a relationship and looking for more it might be, no sorry defintely is more baggage tha. You are after considering you don't want to give her the time of day. |
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"Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole."
But is she looking for strings or just being friendly? You haven't actually said what she's saying or doing that's making you think she wants more than NSA, or even wants a repeat of what happened at all. Maybe she's just got it out of her system and is being friendly to you because she feels grateful for that, or she may even be acting overfriendly because she's worried that if she appears to ignore you, YOU might react badly and tell her partner. Really I think you could probably just resolve this by having a conversation. You're making assumptions about her while complaining about us making assumptions about you. At the end of it though, I think you'll admit that you can't handle meeting anyone locally and should set your sights further afield in future. |
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"Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole.
But is she looking for strings or just being friendly? You haven't actually said what she's saying or doing that's making you think she wants more than NSA, or even wants a repeat of what happened at all. Maybe she's just got it out of her system and is being friendly to you because she feels grateful for that, or she may even be acting overfriendly because she's worried that if she appears to ignore you, YOU might react badly and tell her partner. Really I think you could probably just resolve this by having a conversation. You're making assumptions about her while complaining about us making assumptions about you. At the end of it though, I think you'll admit that you can't handle meeting anyone locally and should set your sights further afield in future. "
Think your right a proper chat is in order,I would never betray soneones trust.its not about what she is saying either it's the obvious way she walks in to an estate be lines it for me then leaves again
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"Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole."
And how’s that going for you?  |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
It sounds like she wants a bit more than you. So just nip it in the bud next time you see her. Carefully work out what you're going to say to her and get it out of the way. As longer you leave it the more awkward it gets.
As for fab nsa, if I should met by accident a former meet and I'm in company with someone else, I expect them to ignore me and not to cause any awkward situation. |
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"It sounds like she wants a bit more than you. So just nip it in the bud next time you see her. Carefully work out what you're going to say to her and get it out of the way. As longer you leave it the more awkward it gets.
As for fab nsa, if I should met by accident a former meet and I'm in company with someone else, I expect them to ignore me and not to cause any awkward situation. "
Honestly that's what i expected ,ty for advice it's greatly appreciated and to get the a womans opinion on this |
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"As for fab nsa, if I should met by accident a former meet and I'm in company with someone else, I expect them to ignore me and not to cause any awkward situation. "
I wonder is this what most would prefer? I had a situation where I ran into an acquaintance at a Fab social. We chatted away and had a great laugh at the event, and I thought no more of it until I ran into him again in a professional setting. Unsure what else to do, I gave him a cheery hello as normal and continued on with my business, but he was clearly uncomfortable and subsequently ghosted me before leaving the site completely. Should I not have said hello? Was he afraid I would expose him in some way (not my style!)? It puzzled me no end as to why he reacted so strongly, as I knew he had met others he already knew professionally, and not just socially. Did they cause problems and I ended up being tarred with the same brush (I know one of those meets had very publicly turned against him on Fab, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think they had made his professional life difficult too)? I guess I'll never know, and in the scheme of things, it's not important, but it does leave me confused about what to do if I ever found myself in a similar situation again... Say hello as normal, or pretend they don't exist? |
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Communication first I think is key Nsain my mind was sex then leave with no contact ,ice no prob saying hello to someone if they say hello to me. Butif it's pre agreed if you meet just to walk on by |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As for fab nsa, if I should met by accident a former meet and I'm in company with someone else, I expect them to ignore me and not to cause any awkward situation.
I wonder is this what most would prefer? I had a situation where I ran into an acquaintance at a Fab social. We chatted away and had a great laugh at the event, and I thought no more of it until I ran into him again in a professional setting. Unsure what else to do, I gave him a cheery hello as normal and continued on with my business, but he was clearly uncomfortable and subsequently ghosted me before leaving the site completely. Should I not have said hello? Was he afraid I would expose him in some way (not my style!)? It puzzled me no end as to why he reacted so strongly, as I knew he had met others he already knew professionally, and not just socially. Did they cause problems and I ended up being tarred with the same brush (I know one of those meets had very publicly turned against him on Fab, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think they had made his professional life difficult too)? I guess I'll never know, and in the scheme of things, it's not important, but it does leave me confused about what to do if I ever found myself in a similar situation again... Say hello as normal, or pretend they don't exist? "
..Personally l think one should tell the other at the end of the meet what ones actions would be should they ever meet in a situation that both might feel uncomfortable with..so at least that base is covered ..l know it might sound a bit extreme but at least one knows how to approach the other should the occasion arrive . |
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Prob what you should’ve done was tell exactly what she wanted to hear to get her to sleep with you, then when you’ve done that to never ever interact with you ever again because you got what you wanted and never want to see or hear her again and want her to fuck off now... Or maybe you have done some of that |
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"As for fab nsa, if I should met by accident a former meet and I'm in company with someone else, I expect them to ignore me and not to cause any awkward situation.
I wonder is this what most would prefer? I had a situation where I ran into an acquaintance at a Fab social. We chatted away and had a great laugh at the event, and I thought no more of it until I ran into him again in a professional setting. Unsure what else to do, I gave him a cheery hello as normal and continued on with my business, but he was clearly uncomfortable and subsequently ghosted me before leaving the site completely. Should I not have said hello? Was he afraid I would expose him in some way (not my style!)? It puzzled me no end as to why he reacted so strongly, as I knew he had met others he already knew professionally, and not just socially. Did they cause problems and I ended up being tarred with the same brush (I know one of those meets had very publicly turned against him on Fab, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think they had made his professional life difficult too)? I guess I'll never know, and in the scheme of things, it's not important, but it does leave me confused about what to do if I ever found myself in a similar situation again... Say hello as normal, or pretend they don't exist?
..Personally l think one should tell the other at the end of the meet what ones actions would be should they ever meet in a situation that both might feel uncomfortable with..so at least that base is covered ..l know it might sound a bit extreme but at least one knows how to approach the other should the occasion arrive ."
It would be different with an actual meet as you generally would discuss these things, but this was someone I just ran into at a social, recognised, and had a few laughs with, someone I would normally say hello to whenever I met him through his job. It never occurred to me to ask if I should behave any differently if I saw him again, as I didn't see any reason to act differently. It's a strange one really  |
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"Not here for a lecture or to be judged
Then don’t ask for opinions on a public forum.
It very much looks like you used this girl. NSA does not mean that a person isn’t a person, and people are unpredictable can and have feelings and connections to those that they have sex with. Saying, “I told her before it was NSA” doesn’t give you a free pass."
it actually does. You should always specify to someone what it easy then you can't be blamed if she starts using the feelings card or wants to be around you more and more. It's exactly why I keep no strings sex as casual as possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phone is messed up last post went twice....
The whole point of nsa is just that ...no strings. Sheis a nice lady good-looking etc,she would flirt etc ,I don't mind but my clients might .I've said it jokingly a few times we have to stop meeting like this.i just don't know how to handle the situation without being an ashole.
Think your right a proper chat is in order,I would never betray soneones trust.its not about what she is saying either it's the obvious way she walks in to an estate be lines it for me then leaves again
"
That is very obvious and indiscreet of her in fairness OP. Sound like she's a friendly lady, but also sounds like she's vanilla, naive and new to cheating...and for right or wrong, she's now got a taste for it. Not meaning to sound judgemental ( but commenting on something like this always will  , but you turned the head and took to bed someone unsavy, attached and local. Now you are dealing with ( to use a term from the movie Wedding Crashers ) 'a stage 3 clinger'.
I think you need to chat with her, but there's no way of knowing how she will take what she's likely to see as rejection. You could be the first person she's ever cheated with, and also the first person to have made her feel desirable and alluring in a long time. So please tread carefully.
I would tell her next time you talk with her, that either
* People have been dropping hints and beginning to put 2+2 together, and as wonderful as it was for you, you don't want to see this blow up in your faces.
Or
* Be totally honest and tell her you are promiscuous and don't do repeat meets, no matter much you fancy her and enjoyed being with her.
Or
* Start itching as you talk with her, and casually drop into the conversation
'I hope this bout of contagious scabies doesn't last 5 months, like last time. It's the idea their eggs hatching under my skin that drives me simple'.
.....then scratch your groin vigorously until she makes her excuses and hurries away, ideally thinking she feels itchy and peering down her top |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm confused. Who barely know her but there was flirting, sex was handed to on a plate ,( obviously most of been flirting on both sides) and now she stalking you because she appears everywhere.
Or maybe she is just been friendly and is embarrassed that she cheated, and worried you might be down in the pub telling your mates she handed it to on a plate.
Than again maybe she wants out of the relationship and is using you to help the process.
Way I see it tell her straight up your a man-whore and not interested in anything but nsa sex |
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"Or
* Start itching as you talk with her, and casually drop into the conversation
'I hope this bout of contagious scabies doesn't last 5 months, like last time. It's the idea their eggs hatching under my skin that drives me simple'.
.....then scratch your groin vigorously until she makes her excuses and hurries away, ideally thinking she feels itchy and peering down her top "
Awful... But so funny! |
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