FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Forgetfulness
Forgetfulness
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Having a conversation with another Fabber last night and I was reminded of precious experiences on here.
On 3 seperate occasions over the last couple of years I've arranged a social meet with ladies who either failed to turn up or cancelled last minute when I texted to confirm.
Nothing unusual there I know so this isn't a whinge.
All three claimed to have completely forgotten we were meeting and two were double booked.
I'm curious for feedback on why this happens.
I know ladies get lots of messages and requests but surely if you have chatted for weeks and arrange to meet it would be polite to turn up or cancel early enough?
It's one thing to hedge your bets but arranging 2 socials at the same time doesn't fit the profile.
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I've been ghosted twice on the day we were meant to meet. Both by verified women too. It's Fab, just got to shrug it off and move on. Men get lambasted when they don't show but that's just the nature of the beast. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forgot? Surely you would be in contact on the day of the meet just to make sure everyone is good to go?
"Forgot" suggests someone who went off the idea but didn't have the spine to cancel. |
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Yes as I said I'm not a rookie so I've been ghosted lots of times.
Doesn't bother me now like it used to because I know how it works but I'm more curious about the forgetful excuse.
These are ladies I've chatted to for up to 2 months on a daily basis and we've agreed a meet based on their location and working hours which has meant me having to travel or take time off work and suddenly they not only forget we are meeting but their dance card is already full.
I don't mind if someone has second thoughts for whatever reason but respect works both ways |
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"Double booked is just fucking rude. "
I agree and yes we were in touch the night before to confirm that they were still keen to meet and everything was confirmed.
I didn't ask them to travel or change their plans. I waited until it suited then and let them suggest the time and location which is why I use the word forgetful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Double booked is just fucking rude.
I agree and yes we were in touch the night before to confirm that they were still keen to meet and everything was confirmed.
I didn't ask them to travel or change their plans. I waited until it suited then and let them suggest the time and location which is why I use the word forgetful "
Forgetful is optimistic they either had no intention, got a better meet last minute or just used another meet as an excuse
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Double booking is just ignorance IMO. If the shoe was on the other foot you could imagine what would be said.
Sound more like a bad excuse rather than forgetfulness.
But sure it is what it is at the end if the Day OP. |
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"Double booking is just ignorance IMO. If the shoe was on the other foot you could imagine what would be said.
Sound more like a bad excuse rather than forgetfulness.
But sure it is what it is at the end if the Day OP. "
Yes it is and it's not sour grapes as 2 of these forgettable experiences were over a year ago and the other within the last few months.
I've moved on but started this thread to get others opinion and to show it's not just men on fab who are disrespectful |
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From the sound of that op it was an excuse. As for being forgetful if I’d arranged a week before and not spoken since I could be forgetful  I have a lot on in my personal life sometimes meeting someone can slip my mind! you said you spoke the night before and confirmed then they are just lying to you! No one forgets that bloody quick or have they got the brain thing like in 50 first dates where every day she wakes up she remembers nothing from before  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The generalisation that men are the eejits on fab is far from true. There are many many women on fab that are just as able as men to be a d*ck and happily demonstrate it in there actions. It's easy for them to be so. From behind a computer and with the knowledge that it's easier on fab. There is a deluded arrogance around many. I could theorise that these same women wouldn't get the same attention offline. Why? Well guys, to a certain extent, would f*ck anything.
Now i know, this will be commented on but in reality it is true. Many on fab, play on the first meet. Without getting to know who they are playing with. That tells me that there isn't much to consider before decided yes to play. Yes its not a dating site, nsa etc etc.
It demonstrates there is little consideration for the other party, because there will be another dic pic around the corner. Selfish is the word. In that respect we are all as bad as each other. We are here for are own needs, not others. That's all. Singles, couples, etc etc.
Personally. I don't. I would insist on a social for the first meeting. I like to get to get to know someone first. I'd rather have a wank than meet someone i didn't know, in order to empty my bag. Play isn't guaranteed on second meet either, deoending on whether i think i have enough of an idea who the other person is. People are too desperate on fab too. Not all obviously but many.
Anyway. That's my pennies worth. |
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"From the sound of that op it was an excuse. As for being forgetful if I’d arranged a week before and not spoken since I could be forgetful I have a lot on in my personal life sometimes meeting someone can slip my mind! you said you spoke the night before and confirmed then they are just lying to you! No one forgets that bloody quick or have they got the brain thing like in 50 first dates where every day she wakes up she remembers nothing from before "
I've never seen that movie slippery but you could be right lol  .
I've had a social meet a couple of years ago where the lady spent 10 mins going on about how she had agreed to meet me based on the"delicious" pics on my profile and that attracted her much more than anything I had said in messages. I stopped her at that point to tell her I hadn't got around to uploading any pics at that point so I'd no idea who she thought she was meeting. Rather than stay and continue our chat she got up and left saying she was sorry but had arranged 2 meets and had turned up at the wrong one. As pissed off as I was I did see the funny side of that one later. |
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol"
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day. "
Going for the eBay method |
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I'll admit I can be forgetfull as I have a busy life. I tend to forget where in left my keys or to pick up milk. Saying you forgot that you've arranged to meet someone is just a very very bad excuse. Downright rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day. "
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day.
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they? "
Yeah i know. I think they should change the verification system. One that can reflect the negative too. |
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"I'll admit I can be forgetfull as I have a busy life. I tend to forget where in left my keys or to pick up milk. Saying you forgot that you've arranged to meet someone is just a very very bad excuse. Downright rude. "
We are all forgetful in our own way with work and home stuff due to busy lifestyles or family pressures and the majority of ladies I've chatted to or met have been very nice and respectful.
Those are personality traits I look for when reading profiles because I'm not interested in quick one off meets. That's why I chat and get to know someone before agreeing to meet and if they suggest the meet in the first place then as far as I'm concerned double booking or forgetting to turn up is unforgivable |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
I’ll admit that I can have the memory of a goldfish at times so I always make a point of saying to guys that we need to keep in contact if the meet is arranged for next week or something like that.
One of these 2 things will happen if I arrange a meet for next week and don’t hear another word from him. I’ll either completely forget about it or I’ll assume he has changed his mind. |
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day.
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they? "
My very first meet through fab over 2 years ago was a disaster because I didn't take the time to chat and get to know more about the lady.
She wanted me to treat her badly and what I mean is to physically abuse her because that was her fantasy.
That's not in my nature so I and took the hit of paying for an hotel room I didn't use.
She sent me a message that night threatening me with a negative veri and when I said I wouldn't display it she reported me to admin as a fake profile and my account was deleted.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day.
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they?
My very first meet through fab over 2 years ago was a disaster because I didn't take the time to chat and get to know more about the lady.
She wanted me to treat her badly and what I mean is to physically abuse her because that was her fantasy.
That's not in my nature so I and took the hit of paying for an hotel room I didn't use.
She sent me a message that night threatening me with a negative veri and when I said I wouldn't display it she reported me to admin as a fake profile and my account was deleted.
"
You really know how to pick em, don't you?  |
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day.
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they?
My very first meet through fab over 2 years ago was a disaster because I didn't take the time to chat and get to know more about the lady.
She wanted me to treat her badly and what I mean is to physically abuse her because that was her fantasy.
That's not in my nature so I and took the hit of paying for an hotel room I didn't use.
She sent me a message that night threatening me with a negative veri and when I said I wouldn't display it she reported me to admin as a fake profile and my account was deleted.
You really know how to pick em, don't you? "
I've learned from my mistakes but I was a young and naive 52 year old at the time. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you leave a comment in a verification? Yes this girl is the girl from the profile....but...lol
Lol never thought of that at the time but I'm not the type to leave negative veris anyway as we are all capable of having a bad day.
What would be the point? Nobody's going to display a negative veri are they?
My very first meet through fab over 2 years ago was a disaster because I didn't take the time to chat and get to know more about the lady.
She wanted me to treat her badly and what I mean is to physically abuse her because that was her fantasy.
That's not in my nature so I and took the hit of paying for an hotel room I didn't use.
She sent me a message that night threatening me with a negative veri and when I said I wouldn't display it she reported me to admin as a fake profile and my account was deleted.
You really know how to pick em, don't you?
I've learned from my mistakes but I was a young and naive 52 year old at the time. Lol"
It's never too late!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/ "
I'd have given you an hr to get your pinny off and into something less revealing. Yeah i have the french maid scenario in my head!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the sound of that op it was an excuse. As for being forgetful if I’d arranged a week before and not spoken since I could be forgetful I have a lot on in my personal life sometimes meeting someone can slip my mind! you said you spoke the night before and confirmed then they are just lying to you! No one forgets that bloody quick or have they got the brain thing like in 50 first dates where every day she wakes up she remembers nothing from before
I've never seen that movie slippery but you could be right lol .
I've had a social meet a couple of years ago where the lady spent 10 mins going on about how she had agreed to meet me based on the"delicious" pics on my profile and that attracted her much more than anything I had said in messages. I stopped her at that point to tell her I hadn't got around to uploading any pics at that point so I'd no idea who she thought she was meeting. Rather than stay and continue our chat she got up and left saying she was sorry but had arranged 2 meets and had turned up at the wrong one. As pissed off as I was I did see the funny side of that one later. "
That was nice of her..if a guy done the samee here, there would be calls for a public hanging |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
'I forgot' - Jaysos what a shite excuse. Doesn't demonstrate much creativity and/or memory stamina, not to mention having some style and respect.
Anhow for all the reasons above you can easily conclude the said person isn't going to be a memorable shag and you dodged a bullet.
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I'm sure lots of guys have done the same and there have been public hangings but "Forgive me I'm a little forgetful" is not something I've ever heard a man say which is what sparked this thread in the first place to determine how acceptable an excuse it actually is. |
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"'I forgot' - Jaysos what a shite excuse. Doesn't demonstrate much creativity and/or memory stamina, not to mention having some style and respect.
Anhow for all the reasons above you can easily conclude the said person isn't going to be a memorable shag and you dodged a bullet.
"
I agree despite said ladies having lots of new veris from the gents they haven't forgotten about.
It's not that I'm unforgettable or even forgettable for that matter and maybe they felt they had dodged a bullet but it's the old tale of respect having to be earned.
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Never had someone cancel last minute on here. Nor been double booked.
But honeslty I dont meet a lot from here.
I have been stood up once, but that was from another site, social website. I had threats made against me and this female profile started to message me. I assumed it was the people who said they were going to get me and beat me up behind the female id, so when it asked to meet I agreed to draw a line under the situation. No one turned up so dunno if it was them or not. |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Thats women for u claim they can multitask but forgetfull as fook and dont start me on their sence if direction or driving skills "
Well it's tricky sometimes.
The other day I accidentally scratched a van while parking, eating a banana and chatting on the phone with my friend. So I put a note on the van apologising and that I would certainly pay for the damage caused. I drove of only to realise two blocks down the road that I forgot to put my phone number on the note. So turned around but just couldn't find that spot where I was parked anymore. I swear to God, someone must have changed those roads in the meantime.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/
I'd have given you an hr to get your pinny off and into something less revealing. Yeah i have the french maid scenario in my head! "
My pjs are long leg long sleeve fleece. Trust me - if I wore a winter coat with a hat on it'll still be less revealing.
And no. One hour to wash yourself, dry your hair, put on make up, get dressed, then travel across town isn't even close to being enough. |
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"Forgot? Surely you would be in contact on the day of the meet just to make sure everyone is good to go?
"Forgot" suggests someone who went off the idea but didn't have the spine to cancel. "
Yup 
Unless someone has had something catastrophic happen in their personal life that completely derails them, such as the sudden death of a family member, I don't see any reason why anyone would just 'forget' they'd arranged to meet someone. The only way I could imagine it happening was if someone was arranging to meet so many people that they simply can't keep track... And even if they were only social meets, if I were interested in someone and wanted to meet them, I'd like to think they were genuinely interested in me too and not just arranging meets with anyone and everyone, or clocking up veris. I'd rather meet nobody at all than be an afterthought or a name on a list. |
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I forgot is harsh. I think some people say it because they're trying to not be too harsh because they've changed their mind. I'd rather get, you're not my type/ it doesn't feel right/I've changed my mind/or you're a dick to I forgot, lol. I forgot is the ultimate put down |
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"Forgot? Surely you would be in contact on the day of the meet just to make sure everyone is good to go?
"Forgot" suggests someone who went off the idea but didn't have the spine to cancel.
Yup
Unless someone has had something catastrophic happen in their personal life that completely derails them, such as the sudden death of a family member, I don't see any reason why anyone would just 'forget' they'd arranged to meet someone. The only way I could imagine it happening was if someone was arranging to meet so many people that they simply can't keep track... And even if they were only social meets, if I were interested in someone and wanted to meet them, I'd like to think they were genuinely interested in me too and not just arranging meets with anyone and everyone, or clocking up veris. I'd rather meet nobody at all than be an afterthought or a name on a list. "
I agree totally. I've said in my profile that I won't be meeting anyone if the conversation isn't two way.
If I see a profile that attracts me or has similarities to my own I will get in touch but all too often some ladies are just pic collectors or phone number hoarders.
I don't think with my dick so without a connection I won't be meeting and I'm comfortable with that.
That means that I'm not on a to do list in someone's diary but rather have a page of my own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/
I'd have given you an hr to get your pinny off and into something less revealing. Yeah i have the french maid scenario in my head!
My pjs are long leg long sleeve fleece. Trust me - if I wore a winter coat with a hat on it'll still be less revealing.
And no. One hour to wash yourself, dry your hair, put on make up, get dressed, then travel across town isn't even close to being enough. "
Yeah, you see I'd still find that horny! Feeling the curves through a brushed cotton onesie. Nom nom. Remember i come from a generation that had Tiffany as a pin up lol. The only skin shown there was her face. Still had the mind thinking filth! Oh and you can have a couple of hrs kr we could rearrange.
With the OP thing in mind. If she had said she had forgot, i would go straight in with ok now worries, when can you meet. Just to see if she would rearrange or then come of with another excuse. You see the thing is people in general do not expect or like being questioned. So i ask those questions they don't want or think they'll get. I'm an honest person and i like that in others. It's important. So i test it sometimes, in order to get the truth. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Thats women for u claim they can multitask but forgetfull as fook and dont start me on their sence if direction or driving skills
Well it's tricky sometimes.
The other day I accidentally scratched a van while parking, eating a banana and chatting on the phone with my friend. So I put a note on the van apologising and that I would certainly pay for the damage caused. I drove of only to realise two blocks down the road that I forgot to put my phone number on the note. So turned around but just couldn't find that spot where I was parked anymore. I swear to God, someone must have changed those roads in the meantime. "
Its costing 2k to repair what u call a scratch the back left quater is all but gone 
I wouldnt mind so much but I parked in the middle of the empty field to avoid this type of thing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/
I'd have given you an hr to get your pinny off and into something less revealing. Yeah i have the french maid scenario in my head!
My pjs are long leg long sleeve fleece. Trust me - if I wore a winter coat with a hat on it'll still be less revealing.
And no. One hour to wash yourself, dry your hair, put on make up, get dressed, then travel across town isn't even close to being enough.
Yeah, you see I'd still find that horny! Feeling the curves through a brushed cotton onesie. Nom nom. Remember i come from a generation that had Tiffany as a pin up lol. The only skin shown there was her face. Still had the mind thinking filth! Oh and you can have a couple of hrs kr we could rearrange.
With the OP thing in mind. If she had said she had forgot, i would go straight in with ok now worries, when can you meet. Just to see if she would rearrange or then come of with another excuse. You see the thing is people in general do not expect or like being questioned. So i ask those questions they don't want or think they'll get. I'm an honest person and i like that in others. It's important. So i test it sometimes, in order to get the truth. "
Now what I say is purely from a personal point of view and experience.
That meet was only meant to be a drink out in town, so chances were slim to none of that person even touching me, so he didn't miss out on much anyway.
Also my own schedule is mostly unpredictable and arranging a meet with anyone is always organized last minute.
If someone would start asking to arrange another right away and put pressure on me to start putting a date on it - I'd much rather forget that that person exists. Enough people in real life keep asking me when I'll be finally free to see them( talking about friends and family).
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Thats women for u claim they can multitask but forgetfull as fook and dont start me on their sence if direction or driving skills
Well it's tricky sometimes.
The other day I accidentally scratched a van while parking, eating a banana and chatting on the phone with my friend. So I put a note on the van apologising and that I would certainly pay for the damage caused. I drove of only to realise two blocks down the road that I forgot to put my phone number on the note. So turned around but just couldn't find that spot where I was parked anymore. I swear to God, someone must have changed those roads in the meantime.
Its costing 2k to repair what u call a scratch the back left quater is all but gone
I wouldnt mind so much but I parked in the middle of the
empty field to avoid this type of thing "
Well, well, well we all know men have a tendency to exaggerate when it comes to size, that scratch was tiny, could have been easily touched up with some nail varnish.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once genuinely forgot that I had a wee social arranged. Well I didn't forget as such, only and a day off and woke up nice and early and started cleaning my kitchen... deep cleaning it at that as I knew I had hours to spare anyhow.
Got completely carried away and when I looked at the time it was 10mins before arranged meet. I was still in my pjs fs.
Texted to cancel. He really didn't take it well at all :/
I'd have given you an hr to get your pinny off and into something less revealing. Yeah i have the french maid scenario in my head!
My pjs are long leg long sleeve fleece. Trust me - if I wore a winter coat with a hat on it'll still be less revealing.
And no. One hour to wash yourself, dry your hair, put on make up, get dressed, then travel across town isn't even close to being enough.
Yeah, you see I'd still find that horny! Feeling the curves through a brushed cotton onesie. Nom nom. Remember i come from a generation that had Tiffany as a pin up lol. The only skin shown there was her face. Still had the mind thinking filth! Oh and you can have a couple of hrs kr we could rearrange.
With the OP thing in mind. If she had said she had forgot, i would go straight in with ok now worries, when can you meet. Just to see if she would rearrange or then come of with another excuse. You see the thing is people in general do not expect or like being questioned. So i ask those questions they don't want or think they'll get. I'm an honest person and i like that in others. It's important. So i test it sometimes, in order to get the truth.
Now what I say is purely from a personal point of view and experience.
That meet was only meant to be a drink out in town, so chances were slim to none of that person even touching me, so he didn't miss out on much anyway.
Also my own schedule is mostly unpredictable and arranging a meet with anyone is always organized last minute.
If someone would start asking to arrange another right away and put pressure on me to start putting a date on it - I'd much rather forget that that person exists. Enough people in real life keep asking me when I'll be finally free to see them( talking about friends and family).
"
I don't mean I'd sit them down and stick a lamp in their face!
Polite questions. If they were evasive, I'd leave it, never mind them lol. The touching thing with the maids outfit or onesie was just a jest. I wouldn't play on first meet or expect anything even if i was inclined to play on first meets. I like to know who will be wrapping themselves around my knob before it happens! |
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