FabSwingers.com > Forums > London > Possible monthly social in Sutton
Possible monthly social in Sutton
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I’m not sure I can make this one, as have a long day on the 8th which I need to be bright eyed & bushy tailed for.
However, I’ll look at logistics and let you know. If not, I’ll try and make it to a future one if the date works  |
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"This social will go ahead. The first one will be in Sutton on Friday the 7th of October. Will start at 7:30pm"
Have a awesome time x
I'd definitely be interested if any dates fall on a Saturday night  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people could message me if you're interested I'll create a list. Think we have enough people. "
I can’t DM you due to your filters but can you please add me as I would like to attend. Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe someone who is able to DM the organisers can ask me to also be added please ?
Due to their filtering I cannot get through and they did mention that is how they want to be approached to register one’s interest. |
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I am thinking for attending this event, but not sure what outfit to wear. I would love for guys to send me suggestions of outfits from shein.com. I will buy one of the suggested outfits, so I can tease and make a statement at this social. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll ask again, does that mean I'm no longer allowed to attend or can I attend due to registering an interest before you made this post?"
We had lots of single guys wanting to come. We wanted to strike the right balance between couples and singles. We now know how many couples are going to come and have let some of the first single guys to apply know that they have a place. Most couples won't come if there are lots of single guys there. |
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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago
London |
"I'll ask again, does that mean I'm no longer allowed to attend or can I attend due to registering an interest before you made this post?
We had lots of single guys wanting to come. We wanted to strike the right balance between couples and singles. We now know how many couples are going to come and have let some of the first single guys to apply know that they have a place. Most couples won't come if there are lots of single guys there. "
So that's that? I dare say a lot of your previous contacts/friends made the cut? If you don't mind me saying, that's not only bullshit but also a dick move. |
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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago
London |
"Mmmmmm. Is there some kind of vetting process? Looks like I was about the fifth single guy to state my interest in attending but no invite appeared. "
There's a vetting process of sorts. Do they know you? Are they mates of yours? This whole site is run by couples for other couples. The whole bloody site is in the grip of some kind of 'couples mafia'. |
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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago
London |
"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!"
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mmmmmm. Is there some kind of vetting process? Looks like I was about the fifth single guy to state my interest in attending but no invite appeared.
There's a vetting process of sorts. Do they know you? Are they mates of yours? This whole site is run by couples for other couples. The whole bloody site is in the grip of some kind of 'couples mafia'."
It's nothing to do with that and I can tell you as a fellow social host single men places fill up exceptionally quickly. I can fill 20 single male spaces within 2 days normally. I Think you are being very unfair to the organisers of this social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen."
You are also assuming you with a 5th person however you forget most people don't comment on the threads and privately message. |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen."
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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago
London |
"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen.
You are also assuming you with a 5th person however you forget most people don't comment on the threads and privately message. "
So I guess you're either going or you're just shilling for them. OK, whatever you say 'mate', whatever you say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Showing interest for the next one if OK. xx
Fuck that, I'd rather stick my cock in a blender. They can take their "social" and stick it up their arse."
Thanks for confirming that not inviting you to the social was a good idea. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen."
Firstly, we received a deluge of private messages from single guys showing interest in the social. Fifth on the thread was about twenty fifth in reality.
Fab is probably 80% single guys. Most of those frustrated by their lack of chances of meets and invites. The numbers are stacked against them.
There needs to be the right balance of couples and single guys. This is the first social we've ever organised and it looks like a small event first time around. We're looking at 4-5 couples and a couple of single ladies. That's if they all turn up.
That leaves very few spaces for single guys. I can't invite 30 single guys along as the couples will never return and this social will be dead in the water at the first attempt.
The reality is as a single guy on the scene it will never be a level playing field. There's just too many single guys for that ever to be the case. The reality is that single women and couples have more power due to the supply and demand.
We're hoping that this social grows and we get more couples and single ladies and of course if it does we will invite more single guys. Of course there will be a vetting process, we want to ensure that the single guys that do come are respectful, friendly and not pushy or creepy.
Venting frustration on this thread about not coming will ensure that you fall at the first hurdle of that vetting process.
As the previous poster said, if you don't like the way we've organised this social, organise your own. All you have to do is post in the forum, choose a venue and then choose the best mix of people. That's it. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
As a single guy that has attend socials in the past and hopes to attend in the future I know that it can be hard work just getting it off the ground what with dates , venue and location some organisers even will provide details of hotels nearby in case some are staying overnight or are traveling from distance.There have also been times when I too wasn’t selected and whilst disappointed I accepted the organisers decision and moved on.So it seems a shame that a couple of single guys are upset that they have not been chosen and then show they are not happy on a forum this probably does you no favours in been selected for a future social. I did not express a interest in attending the Sutton social as I tend to stick to socials in and around Central London however I would like to wish Conistoncouple the best of luck with their social for this Friday and to any future socials they may decide to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a single guy that has attend socials in the past and hopes to attend in the future I know that it can be hard work just getting it off the ground what with dates , venue and location some organisers even will provide details of hotels nearby in case some are staying overnight or are traveling from distance.There have also been times when I too wasn’t selected and whilst disappointed I accepted the organisers decision and moved on.So it seems a shame that a couple of single guys are upset that they have not been chosen and then show they are not happy on a forum this probably does you no favours in been selected for a future social. I did not express a interest in attending the Sutton social as I tend to stick to socials in and around Central London however I would like to wish Conistoncouple the best of luck with their social for this Friday and to any future socials they may decide to do."
Thanks so much. It's a learning curve for us. We're hoping that this becomes a regular event that will grow. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"As a single guy that has attend socials in the past and hopes to attend in the future I know that it can be hard work just getting it off the ground what with dates , venue and location some organisers even will provide details of hotels nearby in case some are staying overnight or are traveling from distance.There have also been times when I too wasn’t selected and whilst disappointed I accepted the organisers decision and moved on.So it seems a shame that a couple of single guys are upset that they have not been chosen and then show they are not happy on a forum this probably does you no favours in been selected for a future social. I did not express a interest in attending the Sutton social as I tend to stick to socials in and around Central London however I would like to wish Conistoncouple the best of luck with their social for this Friday and to any future socials they may decide to do.
Thanks so much. It's a learning curve for us. We're hoping that this becomes a regular event that will grow. "
. Yes it is a learning curve been a organiser for a social and yes I am guessing you will make some mistakes but the way I see it you are organising it you know the numbers so it’s your decision how you divide those numbers with regards to how many couples , single guys , single ladies you chose to invite or make the cut as us guys like to say lol.There are 3 people who have contributed to your thread who have experience in organising socials and if you haven’t already you may or may not want to get a bit of advice.Ultimately though it is your social and it’s how you want it to work and what the right mix is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen.
Firstly, we received a deluge of private messages from single guys showing interest in the social. Fifth on the thread was about twenty fifth in reality.
Fab is probably 80% single guys. Most of those frustrated by their lack of chances of meets and invites. The numbers are stacked against them.
There needs to be the right balance of couples and single guys. This is the first social we've ever organised and it looks like a small event first time around. We're looking at 4-5 couples and a couple of single ladies. That's if they all turn up.
That leaves very few spaces for single guys. I can't invite 30 single guys along as the couples will never return and this social will be dead in the water at the first attempt.
The reality is as a single guy on the scene it will never be a level playing field. There's just too many single guys for that ever to be the case. The reality is that single women and couples have more power due to the supply and demand.
We're hoping that this social grows and we get more couples and single ladies and of course if it does we will invite more single guys. Of course there will be a vetting process, we want to ensure that the single guys that do come are respectful, friendly and not pushy or creepy.
Venting frustration on this thread about not coming will ensure that you fall at the first hurdle of that vetting process.
As the previous poster said, if you don't like the way we've organised this social, organise your own. All you have to do is post in the forum, choose a venue and then choose the best mix of people. That's it. "
Thankyou for explaining. I didn’t take the DM’s into consideration. I also spoke to one of the couples attending and she also mentioned the relative small number of people attending. I assumed there would be more. Anyway I’ve hope it works well and you all have fun and are inspired to organise more in the future . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen.
Firstly, we received a deluge of private messages from single guys showing interest in the social. Fifth on the thread was about twenty fifth in reality.
Fab is probably 80% single guys. Most of those frustrated by their lack of chances of meets and invites. The numbers are stacked against them.
There needs to be the right balance of couples and single guys. This is the first social we've ever organised and it looks like a small event first time around. We're looking at 4-5 couples and a couple of single ladies. That's if they all turn up.
That leaves very few spaces for single guys. I can't invite 30 single guys along as the couples will never return and this social will be dead in the water at the first attempt.
The reality is as a single guy on the scene it will never be a level playing field. There's just too many single guys for that ever to be the case. The reality is that single women and couples have more power due to the supply and demand.
We're hoping that this social grows and we get more couples and single ladies and of course if it does we will invite more single guys. Of course there will be a vetting process, we want to ensure that the single guys that do come are respectful, friendly and not pushy or creepy.
Venting frustration on this thread about not coming will ensure that you fall at the first hurdle of that vetting process.
As the previous poster said, if you don't like the way we've organised this social, organise your own. All you have to do is post in the forum, choose a venue and then choose the best mix of people. That's it.
Thankyou for explaining. I didn’t take the DM’s into consideration. I also spoke to one of the couples attending and she also mentioned the relative small number of people attending. I assumed there would be more. Anyway I’ve hope it works well and you all have fun and are inspired to organise more in the future . "
Thanks. As I've said we really want this to become a regular event. I wasn't sure if anyone would come along when I first posted. I'm pleased with that we've got some people coming along to a social in Sutton, I think it would be much easier to attract people to a social in Central London rather than sleepy Sutton.
I've had some messages from more couples that can't make this one but could in the future.
Think I will have a better idea of spaces for single guys next time around and will allocate spaces accordingly. That way if we get more couples I can release more spaces for single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen.
You are also assuming you with a 5th person however you forget most people don't comment on the threads and privately message.
So I guess you're either going or you're just shilling for them. OK, whatever you say 'mate', whatever you say."
No I'm not going I have shown no interest in going to the social and do not know the OP's. I was trying to explain to you how organising a social works but it seems you have made your mind up and have decided just to be rude. |
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I am going along to this social and i am looking forward to it...
I have been hosting very popular socials for over 5 years now...
It is very difficult to make the numbers equal at times... but as this is their first social it is a learning curve...
I started out hosing in a pub with just 15 people coming along... now i have in attendance between 50-80 people..
I do not get any money from organising socials... I just like fellow lifestylers meeting others... Its hard building a trustworthy reputation for others to attend your socials... Its very hard work working the room for 5-6 hours making sure everyone is happy...
I do get loads of PMs so it is based on first come first served... I look at peoples attitude, profiles, age etc so there is something for everyone... Sometimes yes i dont get it right but it all comes with experience...
I can assure you i do not know Conniston Couple and have never met them...
I live local so wanted to attend someone else's social....
I certainly wouldn't be commenting in a group forum in an angry manner
Other Social hosts will possibly read this and someone they would want at their socials....but its all down to the individual...
I agree with other comments you could always organise your own social and see how you get on... Good Luck xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going along to this social and i am looking forward to it...
I have been hosting very popular socials for over 5 years now...
It is very difficult to make the numbers equal at times... but as this is their first social it is a learning curve...
I started out hosing in a pub with just 15 people coming along... now i have in attendance between 50-80 people..
I do not get any money from organising socials... I just like fellow lifestylers meeting others... Its hard building a trustworthy reputation for others to attend your socials... Its very hard work working the room for 5-6 hours making sure everyone is happy...
I do get loads of PMs so it is based on first come first served... I look at peoples attitude, profiles, age etc so there is something for everyone... Sometimes yes i dont get it right but it all comes with experience...
I can assure you i do not know Conniston Couple and have never met them...
I live local so wanted to attend someone else's social....
I certainly wouldn't be commenting in a group forum in an angry manner
Other Social hosts will possibly read this and someone they would want at their socials....but its all down to the individual...
I agree with other comments you could always organise your own social and see how you get on... Good Luck xxx "
This! Social hosting is not easy. |
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"I am going along to this social and i am looking forward to it...
I have been hosting very popular socials for over 5 years now...
It is very difficult to make the numbers equal at times... but as this is their first social it is a learning curve...
I started out hosing in a pub with just 15 people coming along... now i have in attendance between 50-80 people..
I do not get any money from organising socials... I just like fellow lifestylers meeting others... Its hard building a trustworthy reputation for others to attend your socials... Its very hard work working the room for 5-6 hours making sure everyone is happy...
I do get loads of PMs so it is based on first come first served... I look at peoples attitude, profiles, age etc so there is something for everyone... Sometimes yes i dont get it right but it all comes with experience...
I can assure you i do not know Conniston Couple and have never met them...
I live local so wanted to attend someone else's social....
I certainly wouldn't be commenting in a group forum in an angry manner
Other Social hosts will possibly read this and someone they would want at their socials....but its all down to the individual...
I agree with other comments you could always organise your own social and see how you get on... Good Luck xxx
This! Social hosting is not easy. "
it never is xxxxxx |
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I seriously take my hat off to anyone putting in the time and effort into organising socials. For me they have been an amazing way to make connections and meet some lovely people. To have this thrown back in their faces because you didn’t make the list as a single male is not on.
I’ve attended socials hosted by several Fabbers within the greater London area, sometimes I don’t make the cut and sometimes I do, it’s often about the timing of seeing the social announced on the forums and being quick to send a DM asking to attend.
Good luck in your social OP and hope the night goes well!  |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"Showing interest for the next one if OK. xx
Fuck that, I'd rather stick my cock in a blender. They can take their "social" and stick it up their arse."
I don't think you will; You're only 16% masochist.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am thinking for attending this event, but not sure what outfit to wear. I would love for guys to send me suggestions of outfits from shein.com. I will buy one of the suggested outfits, so I can tease and make a statement at this social. "
Like this a lot. Had i been invited i would be all over this. So hot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen."
I do get this point. It wasnt clear. Aside from this particular social - agree there is a toxic attitude towards guys on this site. It is a culture that has spread throughout. People can connect and respond to who they want to of course… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m guessing if you don’t agree with how they’ve organised this social event you could always plan one of your own!!!!!
I wouldn't know where to start. But that's not really the point is it? It's not just this, it's a culture on this site as a whole. Single men are treated like rubbish on this platform, they are objects of contempt.
Like the other guy, who was the fifth to express his interest, I put my name forward on good faith that this would be a level playing field. What I ended up with was a door slammed in my face and the discovery that hand picked individuals were being selected for invitations. It was never made explicitly clear in the beginning that this was going to happen.
I do get this point. It wasnt clear. Aside from this particular social - agree there is a toxic attitude towards guys on this site. It is a culture that has spread throughout. People can connect and respond to who they want to of course…"
That's because it was never the case. The single guys were never hand picked. There were lots that applied immediately via DM rather than by the forum. In fact that's how most people applied.
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