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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
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"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
"
Deep psychological question. To answer that is to know yourself. I know why I've used sex in the past, what sex means to me today, and what I get out of it. A part from instant gratification rhat makes me feel good |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
Deep psychological question. To answer that is to know yourself. I know why I've used sex in the past, what sex means to me today, and what I get out of it. A part from instant gratification rhat makes me feel good "
I like it deep  |
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"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
Deep psychological question. To answer that is to know yourself. I know why I've used sex in the past, what sex means to me today, and what I get out of it. A part from instant gratification rhat makes me feel good
I like it deep "
Legs over shoulders deep. Tongue punching deep |
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"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
"
We've always believed you get out what you put in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on you, or oneself I should say. For some it's simply;
a) A physical release for a primal urge, i.e. come, doesn't matter who with/any hole's a goal, etc.
b) For others, they want a connection, a meeting of minds, even if only on outlook, humour, values, shared intimacy, companionship and human contact.
c) The ultimate will be actual l*ve, that commitment to a life partner. All the elements of b) but you would die for them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
Deep psychological question. To answer that is to know yourself. I know why I've used sex in the past, what sex means to me today, and what I get out of it. A part from instant gratification rhat makes me feel good
I like it deep
Legs over shoulders deep. Tongue punching deep "
A tongue doesn't really go what I'd call deep... |
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"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
Deep psychological question. To answer that is to know yourself. I know why I've used sex in the past, what sex means to me today, and what I get out of it. A part from instant gratification rhat makes me feel good
I like it deep
Legs over shoulders deep. Tongue punching deep
A tongue doesn't really go what I'd call deep..."
Still deeper than some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unpopular opinion here but I think some people do use sex as a gateway to intimacy, affection even.
I don't think it's always bad thing to use sex for unmet needs (whatever they might be) if you are honest with yourself about your needs and your boundaries so you don't get hurt. |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"...just about sex, or is it something deeper?
What I mean is, is it really just sex or is there another need not being met that makes us feel like sex is the answer?
"
its so deep....... Its just sex a bodily function that we have a need to requite, now love and sex thats another question  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to it, as long as you're not hurting yourself or others.
Sex can be a simple fuck, a delight in sharing your body with another for that moment in time, a primal lust fuelled fuck where you need that other.
It can be the act of two people discovering more about each other, exploring their compatibility without it becoming a Big Thing. Friends sharing that experience, enjoying it for what it is.
It can be an expression of love, of care, of intimate feelings for each other.
It can reclaim, remind, represent how you feel about another person, intertwining bodies a signifier of intertwining feelings. A bond.
I think the best sex is one where there are feelings involved, reciprocated and transferred through touch. Whether that's lust, friendship, desire or love.
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In some circumstances and with some people, sex is just sex, a happy source of endorphins and catharsis. Sometimes it's more.
The times I need something else but sex would help, I deal with the something else first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, on here. It’s just sex most of the time. Sometimes you can meet someone where it’s a little more than that, friends maybe but I don’t look for anything more. I’m not looking for feelings to be involved. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
Sometimes it about sex, other its about a loving bond, others exploration, others power, other control, others for the energy, others for the need of the affection fom other, others it about leting go...etc.....etc..... |
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For me sex is just sex a very enjoyable activity.
I can see that to some sex is a substitution for something and can be more then just sex. If you are this is not the place you should be, you should be do some wellbeing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment 
Why?"
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course "
Of course 
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I …….
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??"
That’s why I think I’d always want to only share myself with someone I think knows me, would now where to touch me, exploring where is most sensitive, where the most arousal is found.
You mentioned the other day about if people would do something for someone without wanting to be touched themselves. No? That’s how it becomes better than self satisfaction, because I think I could enjoy myself a lot more pleasing a woman I think is sexy, a lot more than I can have a wank and get myself off.
Wanking is pointless to me (I still do it) , the same way some say it’s “just sex”. Sex with someone you like is important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I …….
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
That’s why I think I’d always want to only share myself with someone I think knows me, would now where to touch me, exploring where is most sensitive, where the most arousal is found.
You mentioned the other day about if people would do something for someone without wanting to be touched themselves. No? That’s how it becomes better than self satisfaction, because I think I could enjoy myself a lot more pleasing a woman I think is sexy, a lot more than I can have a wank and get myself off.
Wanking is pointless to me (I still do it) , the same way some say it’s “just sex”. Sex with someone you like is important. "
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b."
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!  |
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Sex can be just sex but it can also be a lot more depending on if you feel a connection to them or not.
It's also essential to live and I reckon I got about 6 months before my body says you've had enough time and you blew it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot! "
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking. |
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??"
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle "
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For outside our relationship me sex is sex, it's just something I enjoy.
With the Mr it's deeper it's intimate, loving and just different.
Mrs "
Absolutely agree 100% |
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I think for me it can be both, but not concurrently.
If I need instant ravishing and gratification then it does indeed boil down to just peripheral sex. However - and more likely - when I'm yearning for something deep, meaningful and with substance then sex just complements the other important 'stuff'.
I don't associate sex as a replacement for "other needs not being met", whatever they may be. I would rather address those needs in their rightful way and not use sex as a 'less suitable' alternative. |
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good. "
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking."
Then close your eyes, pucker up and just snog me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though "
Yes and you said we wouldn't mention that again.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking.
Then close your eyes, pucker up and just snog me. "
You used 2  words. |
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though
Yes and you said we wouldn't mention that again.
"
Now everyone knows it was you
I'm sure it was just a coincidence that it happened both times |
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"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking.
Then close your eyes, pucker up and just snog me.
You used 2 words."
I'm sure he meant to say, lay on your stomach, watch the ipad and let me do my thing and I'll leave when I finish without saying anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking.
Then close your eyes, pucker up and just snog me.
You used 2 words."
I know.
Snog + Me.
It’s hard to imagine. That’s why I said to close your eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though
Yes and you said we wouldn't mention that again.
Now everyone knows it was you
I'm sure it was just a coincidence that it happened both times "
Its not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal!! |
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"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though
Yes and you said we wouldn't mention that again.
Now everyone knows it was you
I'm sure it was just a coincidence that it happened both times
Its not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal!!"
Don't tell me we only have 5 minutes and 45 seconds next time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking."
Talking???
WTAF?
Different kind of oral sex I suppose!!!
Not really one for talking myself - more a silent lover - but fucking deadly!! For me action speaks louder than words and generally speaking a wibbling mess is the end result.
Yes I know it comes across as conceited and full of shit. I actually don't care - so there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I …….
….
Having to explain to someone what you like and stuff, or switch the wand on?
I'm going option b.
You have to explain?!?! that explains a lot!
You just said someone that knows you. To know you would involving talking and talking about what you like.
That's too much talking.
Talking???
WTAF?
Different kind of oral sex I suppose!!!
Not really one for talking myself - more a silent lover - but fucking deadly!! For me action speaks louder than words and generally speaking a wibbling mess is the end result.
Yes I know it comes across as conceited and full of shit. I actually don't care - so there "
That wasn't really my point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, it’s better than a wank innit
Not always.
That's a sad indictment
Why?
My best wank rarely eclipses anything other than a really shit shag so having expectations of sex with a partner lower than with yourself doesn't say much about some of your previous partners or maybe your interaction with them. All said in a non judgemental judgy way of course
Of course
Or maybe I just think I know my body better than anyone else, well I hope I would!
Also I don't have to rely on others for my pleasure, or anything really.
I win yes??
I wish I was as happy to just please myself as you're, you don't know the struggle
I don't have the struggle. Take sex out the equation and life's good.
Life is better with sex, I have only had bad sex on 2 occasions though
Yes and you said we wouldn't mention that again.
Now everyone knows it was you
I'm sure it was just a coincidence that it happened both times
Its not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal!!"
I knew it!….. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For outside our relationship me sex is sex, it's just something I enjoy.
With the Mr it's deeper it's intimate, loving and just different.
Mrs "
F is that you?
Almost word for word what she says! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Depends on the person. Many moons ago, sex was just sex to me, it was the only way I could feel close to someone (been to counselling and gone into the why’s etc).
With Hubby, it’s 100% different, it’s loving, whether it’s hard/soft/kink. There’s just something special about it.
We’re all different.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For outside our relationship me sex is sex, it's just something I enjoy.
With the Mr it's deeper it's intimate, loving and just different.
Mrs
F is that you?
Almost word for word what she says! "
Sorry husband, I was just enjoying a cuppa with KnightsoftheCoffeeTable earlier and must have commented via their profile! Forgive me for not inviting you but it was a.. Ahem.. Ladies meet
F |
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Even though I know sex can just be two people enjoying each others bodies . Enjoying the pleasure that it brings . No need for feeling or emotions .
I don’t need another man , hubby sends me while and can definitely keep up .
Question is that weird . Or have you met other the same . |
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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
Entirely depends. Can be anything you want it to be. Can be the physicality of an orgasm with nothing else. Can be about owning and being owned. Can be about the connection. Can just be because..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That’s a complicated question, and one I spend a lot of time thinking about.
I’ve recently discovered that the main reason that (although I’ve had a lot of sex with many different people) I always feel disconnected and uncomfortable with one night stands is because I’m demisexual. I NEED an emotional connection and trust to enjoy sex.
I don’t need “love” in a romantic sense, but I do need to feel safe and have a level of intimacy with the person.
So for me, yes, sex is more than just sex. It has to be emotionally fulfilling or for me it is empty.
Which is one of (not the only) reason I don’t meet. I can’t imagine anything I want less than one night stands or worthless sex with someone I don’t know.
I’d rather climb the walls in sexual frustration for the rest of my life than have meaningless sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Like it had been said, sex will mean different things for different folks.
-Sex can be mechanical and therefore transactional. An orgasm for an orgasm (or several for those with vaginas)
-Sex can be fulfilling or leaving you empty (pun intended for those owners of bollocks)
-Sex can be transcendental
Yet, for the sake of the argument, I’d say that sex is a substitute for intimacy. |
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