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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, I know this post is random but had a
Difficult few months with my brother. I know he’s not bad, but can be so difficult at times (not about swinging or anything) about life in general. Got a great life but still want to be mates with my bro, even tho he ain’t interested. I know I should just let it go but want us all to be friends. Not sure where going with this. Thanks for being an awesome community x |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I have the same with my brother who can be so intolerant in keeping touch.
He misses sending birthday, Xmas & other occasion cards on time, instead, sending them months late, with an "Ooops, I forgot" message. I used to see him about twice a year, but he lives abroad now and is seldom in the UK.
Often I hear about when he was back in the UK, but failed to tell let alone meet me.
But despite all that, he's still family, and I can reflect on all the good and supportive times I have experienced over the past 60 years.
It can be tough at times, but I have learned to live with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Family is under our defences before we develop defenses. And while keeping families together is important, not at the expense of a person's wellbeing. Being 'family' doesn't mean you tolerate disrespect, crossed boundaries, harmful traits or knocks to your esteem/ mental health. Everyone you keep in your inner circle of family/ friends should be someone who cares for you, not a detracter. You might still fight or disagree, but ultimately, do they wish you the best or not?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think he cares, he’s not a bad soul. But at the same time where he registers on my circle, I don’t in his. That’s just the way it is. As my mum told me years ago, fill your life with radiators of love, not drains. Still doesn’t mean I don’t care for him |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Swanage |
"Hi all, I know this post is random but had a
Difficult few months with my brother. I know he’s not bad, but can be so difficult at times (not about swinging or anything) about life in general. Got a great life but still want to be mates with my bro, even tho he ain’t interested. I know I should just let it go but want us all to be friends. Not sure where going with this. Thanks for being an awesome community x"
Hey i have a brother i was close to once but he moved to America never to be seen again, so wanting something out of family isn't easy hope your brother comes round and realises bloods thicker than water  |
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"Hi all, I know this post is random but had a
Difficult few months with my brother. I know he’s not bad, but can be so difficult at times (not about swinging or anything) about life in general. Got a great life but still want to be mates with my bro, even tho he ain’t interested. I know I should just let it go but want us all to be friends. Not sure where going with this. Thanks for being an awesome community x"
I spent many years estranged from my family after a falling out. The only advice I can give is "don't just let it go", keep reaching out, one day the response might be different. |
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You can’t choose your family but you can choose you friends. Sound like that what your bro is doing, just because you came out of the same vagina doesn’t mean you’re the same people.
Let him do his own thing.
The mr |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
A few years ago I learned the true meaning of blood is thicker than water (blood of the battlefield, water of the womb) it was quite liberating to finally realise there are no bonds of family but the ones we choose.
I’ll do the right thing if they are old , lonely and need help but beyond that & the ones who cross me or fight me , they are dead to me. |
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O.P.
You clearly want contact with your brother you have told us that but you haven't told us WHY.
Why do you want contact with your brother ?
Please don't give me a useless cliche..... like cos he's my brother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a good relationship with my family. I'm a middle child and always felt the outsider, with older brother I got his hand-me-downs, and younger sister got everything new, so everything I had was second hand (probably reason I hate charity shops).
Have nothing in common with my siblings. I've moved around, they've stayed local to parents. I like to drink and party, they rarely drink and frown over my consumption. I've been married 3 times and had ?? Girlfriends, brother only had 2 and sister with guy she been with since school.
I was closest to my dad, got my love of books from him. He died January 2020 and since then had even less contact with brother, sister and mum. I can see when mum goes (she's 93) I will have no further contact with siblings.
I can live with that |
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"Hi all, I know this post is random but had a
Difficult few months with my brother. I know he’s not bad, but can be so difficult at times (not about swinging or anything) about life in general. Got a great life but still want to be mates with my bro, even tho he ain’t interested. I know I should just let it go but want us all to be friends. Not sure where going with this. Thanks for being an awesome community x"
If he isn't interested leave him be, you can't force these things. I have a half sister and a half brother, I'm sure they would want to be closer to me, but only so it doesn't look bad to other people. Never in my life have I ever felt happy to have them around. They have just caused resentments and life dramas. I'm over it now, family is only a word, I have a better relationship with my postman |
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