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Got away with it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly". 
Tones |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
Get away with things? Maybe
Is pretty privilege a thing? Damn right it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones
Get away with things? Maybe
Is pretty privilege a thing? Damn right it is."
Psychology claims so too if I recall well from my studies. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Some do, and some we give a pass to that otherwise would not fly if it were somebody we were not interested in. We all do it, some people do it at different levels and extremes but yes, attraction relaxes certain approaches to behaviours on an individual basis.
But as a whole no, this day and age everyone gets called out for something by somebody. |
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
Yea, I do. Not just on fab but in life, too.
But I think it goes wider than that. Anyone that has some currency with another person, be that attractiveness, humour, usefulness, finance etc etc, will give them leeway to get away with what others might regard as unpleasant/unfair behaviour.
Luckily I’m perfect so it doesn’t apply to me. |
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
100%
I've seen it happen so many times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some do, and some we give a pass to that otherwise would not fly if it were somebody we were not interested in. We all do it, some people do it at different levels and extremes but yes, attraction relaxes certain approaches to behaviours on an individual basis.
But as a whole no, this day and age everyone gets called out for something by somebody."
It's such an interesting subject. Miles and me were just talking about it why some people are called out more than others or more misunderstood as well? |
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Bad behaviour? Sure, but also enjoyable behaviour. Attractiveness buys you license, whether that be to behave exuberantly, talk confidently or simply be honest and vulnerable without fear of losing your social capital. Attractiveness lets you set a bad example rather than giving good advice.
I mean bad example mischievously. There's no doubt being attractive, like any other advantage, lets you get away with genuinely bad stuff. But it does let you get away with boldly being yourself, and following your own interests. And we're all of us attractive in that sense, at least potentially when we're feeling happy and confident. I'll ignore OP's disclaimer to the extent of saying that there's little more attractive than someone who feels happy and secure in who they are. They make the people around them feel the same way. |
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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago
Beyond the Wall |
Yes. It’s been shown many times that how someone looks affects how people treat them.
There are some absolutely horrible people that are given free passes just because they are attractive or desired. |
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Without a doubt.
Someone you don’t fancy says something and they are labelled a creep etc. if you did find them attractive there is the tendency to let things slide and find excuses
Hence I can never get away with saying anything
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Keep in mind though "pretty privilege" also comes along with unjustified hate at times too, for no other reason than somebody is attractive. It's a double edged sword for sure. "
Ah no. I'm sure and many shared their experiences of it on here. Just putting magnifying glass over this one issue. One at a time. |
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Of course it does , happens a lot ..
But it shouldn't be tolerated regardless of how attractive one is..
Bad behaviour, bullying, shit stirring etc shouldn't be tolerated...
The opposite is also true , Sycophantic behaviour is nauseating just as much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep in mind though "pretty privilege" also comes along with unjustified hate at times too, for no other reason than somebody is attractive. It's a double edged sword for sure. "
Though some is justified, hot and they know it comes to mind. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Is pretty privilege equal for both genders?
Yes and no.
In general the view of "pretty" is viewed and acted upon differently anyway. So they won't be equal anyway. Is just a big tangled mess"
I brought up gender because 'attractiveness' is not an exclusively female value. But because appearance/attractiveness is a metric that is more relevant to women. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
No I get berated all the time! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones
No I get berated all the time!"
I know..   how on Earth?!
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Of course it does , happens a lot ..
But it shouldn't be tolerated regardless of how attractive one is..
Bad behaviour, bullying, shit stirring etc shouldn't be tolerated...
The opposite is also true , Sycophantic behaviour is nauseating just as much "
Agreed.
I also think that if someone isn't societally conventionally attractive, they're more likely to receive a hard time for comments made, whether on here or in real life.
As a woman on here I've noticed that the odd occasion people want to try and attack me they'll go after my weight and make slurs about that. Rather than on what I post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eurgh it icks me to say this but I think I’m the case of women- yes. Mostly let off by men.
Attractive men? I think I don’t know. Popular men I think do though. But I don’t think men are necessarily popular in here because they’re attractive. |
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"Of course it does , happens a lot ..
But it shouldn't be tolerated regardless of how attractive one is..
Bad behaviour, bullying, shit stirring etc shouldn't be tolerated...
The opposite is also true , Sycophantic behaviour is nauseating just as much
Agreed.
I also think that if someone isn't societally conventionally attractive, they're more likely to receive a hard time for comments made, whether on here or in real life.
As a woman on here I've noticed that the odd occasion people want to try and attack me they'll go after my weight and make slurs about that. Rather than on what I post. "
We agree sometimes see |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Eurgh it icks me to say this but I think I’m the case of women- yes. Mostly let off by men.
Attractive men? I think I don’t know. Popular men I think do though. But I don’t think men are necessarily popular in here because they’re attractive. "
Wouldn't the same apply to popular women then? what's the difference here?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m quite the opposite. The pretty privilege means I expect more from them from the get go. I see that advantage, show me you deserve it. "
Ha! I respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes.
If we are talking just on here, there's some threads that people pounce on a certain gender but let it go if the opposite gender says the same thing. Whether this is down to attractiveness or privilege I don't know, but the self proclaimed forum royalty definitely get a pass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Eurgh it icks me to say this but I think I’m the case of women- yes. Mostly let off by men.
Attractive men? I think I don’t know. Popular men I think do though. But I don’t think men are necessarily popular in here because they’re attractive.
Wouldn't the same apply to popular women then? what's the difference here?
"
I think lots of women are popular because they’re attractive (Not always but I think that’s more often the case than with men). And I think men are more often popular for some other reason. Perhaps I’m giving women too much credit here or I’m oblivious. |
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I don’t think it’s just attractiveness or pretty privilege but it defo exists.
Someone random could say something which you’d take offence too but if a friend said it, you might laugh it off and not mind at all.
You also see it on here - women can get very different outcomes than men on threads for the exact same question 
K
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Eurgh it icks me to say this but I think I’m the case of women- yes. Mostly let off by men.
Attractive men? I think I don’t know. Popular men I think do though. But I don’t think men are necessarily popular in here because they’re attractive.
Wouldn't the same apply to popular women then? what's the difference here?
I think lots of women are popular because they’re attractive (Not always but I think that’s more often the case than with men). And I think men are more often popular for some other reason. Perhaps I’m giving women too much credit here or I’m oblivious. "
I think if we focus on forum rather than life in general those two might be intertwined in some cases, no? Or we both talk through bias of our own gender? |
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones
Get away with things? Maybe
Is pretty privilege a thing? Damn right it is."
Pretty privilege is not a thing and should never be
Wrong is wrong end of |
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Some do and some don't
I don't look for the bad in a person that I'm around and if they do 10 good things over the time I have known them never do I dismiss it and penalise them for the 1 thing a person does wrong it's a nasty trait to carry.
People make mistakes as long as they learn from it then that's good enough for me and once no one wastes my time I'm cool and of course doesn't steal from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Eurgh it icks me to say this but I think I’m the case of women- yes. Mostly let off by men.
Attractive men? I think I don’t know. Popular men I think do though. But I don’t think men are necessarily popular in here because they’re attractive.
Wouldn't the same apply to popular women then? what's the difference here?
I think lots of women are popular because they’re attractive (Not always but I think that’s more often the case than with men). And I think men are more often popular for some other reason. Perhaps I’m giving women too much credit here or I’m oblivious.
I think if we focus on forum rather than life in general those two might be intertwined in some cases, no? Or we both talk through bias of our own gender?"
Yeah you’re right.
I’m not attracted to men and the men of the forums are not what is attractive to the women I’m usually surrounded by so they may well be popular for their good looks and I don’t realise that actually.
In which case I guess my answer is simply yes. Both men and women that are attractive get away with shit. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Yes.
If we are talking just on here, there's some threads that people pounce on a certain gender but let it go if the opposite gender says the same thing. Whether this is down to attractiveness or privilege I don't know, but the self proclaimed forum royalty definitely get a pass."
If I had a dime every time... |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Yes.
If we are talking just on here, there's some threads that people pounce on a certain gender but let it go if the opposite gender says the same thing. Whether this is down to attractiveness or privilege I don't know, but the self proclaimed forum royalty definitely get a pass."
Forum dynamics puts a different slant on things and a separate prism to view things.
But forum aside. A woman's profile can have zero information and say send a face pic and I'll decide. Is that a fab privilege? If she's hot does that give her additional pretty privilege? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you’re an unkind person and also unattractive there’s nothing to be desired. Attractive people get away with being cunts because that can be overlooked in favour of how attractive they are. |
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"If you’re an unkind person and also unattractive there’s nothing to be desired. Attractive people get away with being cunts because that can be overlooked in favour of how attractive they are. "
I'd let you get away with being a cunt.
Mrs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you’re an unkind person and also unattractive there’s nothing to be desired. Attractive people get away with being cunts because that can be overlooked in favour of how attractive they are.
I'd let you get away with being a cunt.
Mrs "
Thread closed. Evidence delivered. ^
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re an unkind person and also unattractive there’s nothing to be desired. Attractive people get away with being cunts because that can be overlooked in favour of how attractive they are.
I'd let you get away with being a cunt.
Mrs
Thread closed. Evidence delivered. ^
"
God dammit. I was trying to be insightful  |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"If you’re an unkind person and also unattractive there’s nothing to be desired. Attractive people get away with being cunts because that can be overlooked in favour of how attractive they are.
I'd let you get away with being a cunt.
Mrs
Thread closed. Evidence delivered. ^
God dammit. I was trying to be insightful "
So dreamy though... |
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
Yes. They learn how to charm early in life and maintain that behaviour through life. Others are unknowingly complicit in it ...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes.
If we are talking just on here, there's some threads that people pounce on a certain gender but let it go if the opposite gender says the same thing. Whether this is down to attractiveness or privilege I don't know, but the self proclaimed forum royalty definitely get a pass.
Forum dynamics puts a different slant on things and a separate prism to view things.
But forum aside. A woman's profile can have zero information and say send a face pic and I'll decide. Is that a fab privilege? If she's hot does that give her additional pretty privilege?"
Forum is such an odd mini world bubble. And we don't need to focus on that side. to me it feels a lot like walking into an improv class and trying to make most of it whether as participant or spectator
If attractive person makes a mistake at work will they be given same feedback as someone recognised as less so by people who surround them?
If attractive person is pretty late for an appointment will they likely be seen rather than shown the door?
If attractive person bumps into you in a bar and spills drink will you be likely less irked if you realise you find yourself fancying them?
And so on but I do recognise they are bigger, heavier issues out there too.
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Thinking in everyday terms...... How many times have you seen a man besotted with a woman that is an out an out nasty piece of work ? I used to be naïve and think ... why can't he see what she's like ?
It works the other way around too but not as much as I notice with men who are too starry eyed to see the person beneath. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Yes. Sometimes the difference between someone being creepy and someone being flirty is how attractive they are."
Or just flat out rude. I've had a DM or two that if a average looking guy had sent would have caused a forum outbreak of 'what a total dickhead'
But they're hot, so... |
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"Do you think that supposedly attractive people 'get away' with some bad behaviour?
Inspired by Mr Pickle thread.
Disclaimer- this is not a thread to discuss what "attractiveness" is/means, hence my saying "supposedly".
Tones "
Mostly and it's why they do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Sometimes the difference between someone being creepy and someone being flirty is how attractive they are.
Or just flat out rude. I've had a DM or two that if a average looking guy had sent would have caused a forum outbreak of 'what a total dickhead'
But they're hot, so..."
It’s the same with a lot of the one line messages that people say they hate. If they come from someone they like the look of I guarantee they’ll reply. We’re guilty of this too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that people also get away with ignoring some people when they comment on a thread but then reply to others they are attracted to that has made the same comment further on
Marc "
Which one you are implying eh?
Come on say it straight forward !
I gave up the ambition of replying to all long time ago. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Yes. Sometimes the difference between someone being creepy and someone being flirty is how attractive they are.
Or just flat out rude. I've had a DM or two that if a average looking guy had sent would have caused a forum outbreak of 'what a total dickhead'
But they're hot, so...
It’s the same with a lot of the one line messages that people say they hate. If they come from someone they like the look of I guarantee they’ll reply. We’re guilty of this too."
lol |
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Haven't really experienced this in the great big world outside of fab but within these hallowed walls most definitely.
I've seen people hung drawn and quartered for expressing an opinion while a "hot" profile gets a virtual high five for exactly the same attitude.
I also have personal experience of someone using this to their advantage on here.
Sticking pins in other women in private or even group chats but acting like butter wouldn't melt in their fanny on the forums and as such those who are aware of their behind the scene actions choose to turn a blind eye. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes pretty privilege is alive and kicking.
A double edged sword? Also yes in some ways. I've seen women treated badly by other women , because she was pretty and the spite was aimed at her looks.
If someone is pretty then they were born that way(unless they've been visiting Mr cosmetic surgery).
If someone is unattractive then they were also born that way. I do also know that attractiveness can change due to lifestyle and choices but is it mean to berate someone for how they were born, whether that's with pretty privilege or not?
This brings to mind the whole ,you're so skinny ,do you ever eat comments towards thin women.
Em x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also to add I've seen the opposite end of the scale where someone less attractive will get stepped over or treated differently to someone visually attractive. Neither cases are nice or fair.
Em x |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Yes pretty privilege is alive and kicking.
A double edged sword? Also yes in some ways. I've seen women treated badly by other women , because she was pretty and the spite was aimed at her looks.
If someone is pretty then they were born that way(unless they've been visiting Mr cosmetic surgery).
If someone is unattractive then they were also born that way. I do also know that attractiveness can change due to lifestyle and choices but is it mean to berate someone for how they were born, whether that's with pretty privilege or not?
This brings to mind the whole ,you're so skinny ,do you ever eat comments towards thin women.
Em x"
Meli said something similar above and yeah its not a privilege in this context. But isn't it just another thing that women use to police each other? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes pretty privilege is alive and kicking.
A double edged sword? Also yes in some ways. I've seen women treated badly by other women , because she was pretty and the spite was aimed at her looks.
If someone is pretty then they were born that way(unless they've been visiting Mr cosmetic surgery).
If someone is unattractive then they were also born that way. I do also know that attractiveness can change due to lifestyle and choices but is it mean to berate someone for how they were born, whether that's with pretty privilege or not?
This brings to mind the whole ,you're so skinny ,do you ever eat comments towards thin women.
Em x
Meli said something similar above and yeah its not a privilege in this context. But isn't it just another thing that women use to police each other?"
apologies I posted after reading the first few comments.
Yes it is , hence the reason I have more male friends than women |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Yes pretty privilege is alive and kicking.
A double edged sword? Also yes in some ways. I've seen women treated badly by other women , because she was pretty and the spite was aimed at her looks.
If someone is pretty then they were born that way(unless they've been visiting Mr cosmetic surgery).
If someone is unattractive then they were also born that way. I do also know that attractiveness can change due to lifestyle and choices but is it mean to berate someone for how they were born, whether that's with pretty privilege or not?
This brings to mind the whole ,you're so skinny ,do you ever eat comments towards thin women.
Em x
Meli said something similar above and yeah its not a privilege in this context. But isn't it just another thing that women use to police each other? apologies I posted after reading the first few comments.
Yes it is , hence the reason I have more male friends than women"
Nothing to apologise for. It is another aspect to this privilege. Or in what you're describing, it's not a privilege |
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"I think that people also get away with ignoring some people when they comment on a thread but then reply to others they are attracted to that has made the same comment further on
Marc
Which one you are implying eh?
Come on say it straight forward !
I gave up the ambition of replying to all long time ago. "
Just an observation really and an example that springs to mind. That being more attractive to more people will mean that your comments on threads aren’t overlooked.
People will say it isn’t done on purpose but there are a number of people who will agree with this statement.
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that people also get away with ignoring some people when they comment on a thread but then reply to others they are attracted to that has made the same comment further on
Marc
Which one you are implying eh?
Come on say it straight forward !
I gave up the ambition of replying to all long time ago.
Just an observation really and an example that springs to mind. That being more attractive to more people will mean that your comments on threads aren’t overlooked.
People will say it isn’t done on purpose but there are a number of people who will agree with this statement.
Marc"
That's alright. Thanks for explaining.
T |
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I agree pretty privilege is real and a double edged sword.
If I can be so bold as to offer my personal experience. I've met a number of women who've had profound peer victimisation experiences, usually at school, often due to being perceived as attractive.
I've witnessed people I love become severely unwell with Anorexia Nervosa because of it and nearly die. Makes me too angry for words. Leaving it there.
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But, you see it happen all too often.