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A compatible person...
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Yes I am a bit of a social butterfly and I like a range of people so I find gelling with others to be quite natural and not forced.
No. Absolutely not. I’ve been right a few times but others I’ve been wrong and found myself gelling really well with people I wouldn’t expect to, or not quite gelling with people I thought I would. |
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Oh, not at all.
I'm abrasive and overcomplicated for a lot of the people I could be compatible with on other levels. My weird version of morality and the things I like narrow the pool a lot. Add in actual attraction and everything else and there's a lot of quantifiers that exclude 99.9% of people from the off.
I'm usually good at recognising potential. But even then a lot of those don't work out.
The ones that do work out make it all worthwhile though  |
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First question…..No, because I genuinely feel that I’m an acquired taste. To the point that I’d kinda second guess the other party if they showed real interest.
Second question…..if I have a pretty good gut feeling from our online connection, chances are it will follow through, into a face to face encounter. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"No & No
I need to meet people in person, I can't guage online at all.
Mrs "
I'm guessing you're looking at compatibility in terms of sex...
Are your first impressions off? Or you don't trust them.
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"Do you find it relatively easy to find those you're compatible with?
Are you good at knowing if you will be compatible with someone before you've met them?"
Yes as I like to think I match the energy of the person I'm talking to either online or in person and the only time I struggle with that is if I feel like they're pretty closed off as I don't tend to me the one dominate the conversation so I can easily make my mind up as to whether I'm compatible with them.
No, most people I can guess who I would be compatible with but for the most part, I've been pleasantly surprised with how I've found people in real life compared to online  |
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It seemed a lot easier but currently we seem to just attract people who aren’t compatible at all.
We are yet to find a replacement FWB gent to replace our friend who started dating.
I know from 2/3 messages whether it’s worth chatting more - if they think with their little brain then they don’t last.
We have a gorgeous lady FWB and we get on perfectly…so finding a gent who’s similar and maybe a couple too would be fantastic.
K |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Yes i think if the online conversation flows there's a good chance that we will get on when we meet face to face."
So online you can get a good feel for compatibility. Have you ever been surprised, pleasant or otherwise about it when meeting face to face? |
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Kind of.. I'm good at knowing which personality traits I wouldn't be compatible with. Making it easier to avoid those, but I'm not sure I know fully until I've met someone that we are definitely compatible.
What we see online is like looking through the peephole. I can get a good feeling that we'd be compatible but until you meet, it's never set in stone |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Yes I am a bit of a social butterfly and I like a range of people so I find gelling with others to be quite natural and not forced.
No. Absolutely not. I’ve been right a few times but others I’ve been wrong and found myself gelling really well with people I wouldn’t expect to, or not quite gelling with people I thought I would. "
You're such a social butterfly and it's brilliant. Gelling. Yes, it's possible to gel with a myriad of people.
The second paragraph... is that because you have preconceived notions or because they depict themselves in a way that doesn't align with reality? Or even the setting you meet them in. |
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Yes and no to the first question
Yes as in the process is enjoyable and usually quite natural. No in that it can take a substantial investment of time.
Flat no to the second question, it's incredibly difficult for me to know before I meet. |
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Guess it depends on what we’re defining as compatibility. Doing the sex compatibility? Generally get a good idea online, but in person is the real test. I’m rarely surprised either way but it has happened. Friendship compatibility? Can usually get a good idea online. In person usually confirms it.
The thing I’m dreadful at though is picking people who I’m life compatible with, in terms of availability, distance, other commitments. I suck at that.
What about you, OP?
Mrs TMN x |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Oh, not at all.
I'm abrasive and overcomplicated for a lot of the people I could be compatible with on other levels. My weird version of morality and the things I like narrow the pool a lot. Add in actual attraction and everything else and there's a lot of quantifiers that exclude 99.9% of people from the off.
I'm usually good at recognising potential. But even then a lot of those don't work out.
The ones that do work out make it all worthwhile though "
What about platonic? Do you find it easier then to get a good feel for compatibility? |
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Well this is timely...
Ordinarily yes, I can sense and guage relatively easily if I'm going to be compatible.
But today, pondering this on the oft' unreliable Elizabeth Line as I write this, returning from a long luncheon date, I'm still none the wiser. I'm actually stumped for the first time in ages.
I think she was too posh for me!  |
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By *rbobbMan 4 weeks ago
Birmingham |
I think you can tell online if you are physically compatible. It is hard to know if that goes both ways so you have to trust and believe what is said between you.
If you struggle with things to say to each other then I would say you are not compatible.
you will only know for sure by meeting face to face. |
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"What about platonic? Do you find it easier then to get a good feel for compatibility?"
Platonic is slightly easier to find.
I usually know when someone is my people. If I'm really lucky we're sexually and romantically compatible as well, but there are people who are absolutely my people but we don't do that side of things because it's just not quite right there. |
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"Yes i think if the online conversation flows there's a good chance that we will get on when we meet face to face.
So online you can get a good feel for compatibility. Have you ever been surprised, pleasant or otherwise about it when meeting face to face? "
I find it hard to find people I am compatible with although I am easy going.
Yes absolutely I have been suprised in person mostly negatively .... people not looking like I was expecting or in person not having the same chemistry as we had online
Equally have chatted to some people and they've been just as hot and compatible as I was expecting. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"First question…..No, because I genuinely feel that I’m an acquired taste. To the point that I’d kinda second guess the other party if they showed real interest.
Second question…..if I have a pretty good gut feeling from our online connection, chances are it will follow through, into a face to face encounter. "
Oh John. You're far from an acquired taste, x
So you go with your gut feeling... has it ever let you down? |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Well this is timely...
Ordinarily yes, I can sense and guage relatively easily if I'm going to be compatible.
But today, pondering this on the oft' unreliable Elizabeth Line as I write this, returning from a long luncheon date, I'm still none the wiser. I'm actually stumped for the first time in ages.
I think she was too posh for me! "
Oh Nero, sorry to read this! Hopefully it's clarified soon for you and you're wiser on the compatibility.
I'm curious though... what does "too posh" for you look like? |
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"First question…..No, because I genuinely feel that I’m an acquired taste. To the point that I’d kinda second guess the other party if they showed real interest.
Second question…..if I have a pretty good gut feeling from our online connection, chances are it will follow through, into a face to face encounter.
Oh John. You're far from an acquired taste, x
So you go with your gut feeling... has it ever let you down?"
Not yet, no  |
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"No & No
I need to meet people in person, I can't guage online at all.
Mrs
I'm guessing you're looking at compatibility in terms of sex...
Are your first impressions off? Or you don't trust them.
"
I don't trust them, not based via online interaction, people's online persona and real life persona can be very different.
I need a face and that real life interaction to know for certain.
Mrs |
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In this lifestyle, we find it easy to find people we are compatible with. We can establish that pretty quickly, which is why we only meet in clubs.
We need that face2face though. We can get a pretty good idea from chatting online but need to all meet as a 3 or 4 or more
If we don’t click it’s not a problem and we have no problem politely parting ways. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"It seemed a lot easier but currently we seem to just attract people who aren’t compatible at all.
We are yet to find a replacement FWB gent to replace our friend who started dating.
I know from 2/3 messages whether it’s worth chatting more - if they think with their little brain then they don’t last.
We have a gorgeous lady FWB and we get on perfectly…so finding a gent who’s similar and maybe a couple too would be fantastic.
K"
Fingers crossed you do in time K, I'm sure you will. It's harder for a couple (or a person looking for a couple) to find that compatibility but when it works? It's wonderful. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Kind of.. I'm good at knowing which personality traits I wouldn't be compatible with. Making it easier to avoid those, but I'm not sure I know fully until I've met someone that we are definitely compatible.
What we see online is like looking through the peephole. I can get a good feeling that we'd be compatible but until you meet, it's never set in stone "
Yes, that's very true. It's a snapshot of one particular moment, not a fully fleshed out person. It's only really face to face if you can tell if there's that *spark* or not.
Knowing what doesn't work for you is good though... it's easier to filter out. |
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"Do you find it relatively easy to find those you're compatible with?
Are you good at knowing if you will be compatible with someone before you've met them?"
I think so yes. Although I’ve been proven wrong… in a good way… on a couple of occasions. I like it when that happens  |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"No. So when it happens I get very zingy and over invested.
Just makes the heart sing though, when you think you’ve found your people. Like soul mates.
"
Aww Luna you softie! Finding your people doesn't mean it has to be those you want to rub parts against, does it? It's really lovely when you do though - making your heart sing is the perfect way to describe it. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"No, with the added complication that sometimes if I meet someone when my social battery is low I might be compatible with them but will probably give the impression of not being."
Would you not rearrange if your social battery is low? For you and for them. |
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"Well this is timely...
Ordinarily yes, I can sense and guage relatively easily if I'm going to be compatible.
But today, pondering this on the oft' unreliable Elizabeth Line as I write this, returning from a long luncheon date, I'm still none the wiser. I'm actually stumped for the first time in ages.
I think she was too posh for me!
·
Oh Nero, sorry to read this! Hopefully it's clarified soon for you and you're wiser on the compatibility.
I'm curious though... what does "too posh" for you look like?"
•
She was refined, polished, elocute, and clued up on Malbec and other things that I cannot describe. I felt like Eliza Dolittle.  |
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"Yes I am a bit of a social butterfly and I like a range of people so I find gelling with others to be quite natural and not forced.
No. Absolutely not. I’ve been right a few times but others I’ve been wrong and found myself gelling really well with people I wouldn’t expect to, or not quite gelling with people I thought I would.
You're such a social butterfly and it's brilliant. Gelling. Yes, it's possible to gel with a myriad of people.
The second paragraph... is that because you have preconceived notions or because they depict themselves in a way that doesn't align with reality? Or even the setting you meet them in."
This is giving ‘show your work 6 marks’
I would say it was a combination of the two. Both can be correct depending on perspective.
I think the setting can play a big part although I’ve not really thought about it until now. Would I like someone as much in a different setting? Would I like someone else more in that same different setting? You could be right |
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"No, with the added complication that sometimes if I meet someone when my social battery is low I might be compatible with them but will probably give the impression of not being.
Would you not rearrange if your social battery is low? For you and for them."
It depends. People understandably don't like being cancelled on so I feel guilty about it. Sometimes I don't realise how fried the social part if my brain is until I try to use it and nothing happens. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"Well this is timely...
Ordinarily yes, I can sense and guage relatively easily if I'm going to be compatible.
But today, pondering this on the oft' unreliable Elizabeth Line as I write this, returning from a long luncheon date, I'm still none the wiser. I'm actually stumped for the first time in ages.
I think she was too posh for me!
·
Oh Nero, sorry to read this! Hopefully it's clarified soon for you and you're wiser on the compatibility.
I'm curious though... what does "too posh" for you look like?
•
She was refined, polished, elocute, and clued up on Malbec and other things that I cannot describe. I felt like Eliza Dolittle. "
You've always been Eliza Doolittle in my mind if that's any consolation.
Hopefully you'll know soon enough how things went. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"On here I am not looking for a relationship I am not worried about compatibility, just how good they are in bed. "
So... sexually compatible. That's not a thing? Just how "skilled" someone is in bed. |
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