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What kinda dirty talker are you?
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By *ruceyy OP Man 27 weeks ago
London |
Four options
1) the good girl/daddy - there's a good girl, fuck me daddy type
2) the NASTY one - I'm gonna break that c*nt, choooke me harder
3) the classy one - I will unsteath your garments and kiss upon thy mound, heavens that feels glorious
4) the flirt around one - 😏😉, sounds fun... That's the extent.
Well?! |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 27 weeks ago
London |
"Needs to be Suzie Dent level of eloquence in dirty talk for me to be stirred.
Like a for anal, b for bukakke
You're thinking of Sesame Street back ally talk there. "
Big birds feeling feathery... |
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By *eliWoman 27 weeks ago
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"Never done it, wouldn't know.
Fancy giving it a go publicly right here right now.
Ooh _eli, _eli _eli _eli, you make my legs feel like jelly"
Aww, I thought you'd never ask. Will come back to this. Maybe.
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A mix of all of the above.
Its a skill, it's also not just about what and how but also the right time and mood. Even the smoothest talker can make it cringe, funny and awkward if they don't get the timing right. |
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whichever one I'm needed to be.
I was round a mates house in my late teens and his lodger was banging his girlfriend upstairs.
Well that's what he called her, but she wasn't. She was basically his walking sperm bank because they did bigger all together outside of that - he didn't even think that much of her truth be told.
Anyway.. we knew when he'd blown, and after the bedframe percussions, he'd shout "Scorrrrrrrrrttt-Lund" at the top of his voice. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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Generally I’m rendered speechless. I can manage a simple oh fuuuuck. But actual coherent words abandon me. Which is annoying.
I did once utter (I’m told I growled)
“Fucking grab it like you mean it”
Rather wish I could do that more often. |
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I tend to find most dirty talk to be contrived and performative, it takes a rare individual to do it 'naturally' (in my limited experience of course).
I for one, certainly can't do it without sounding like an am-dram reject!
Much more a fan of (and producer of) involuntary noises and swearing. |
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A Miranda style sweep of my hair while trying to be utterly scrumptious, sadly failing with a poke to the eye and lolloping over my flared trousers and ending up a heap on the floor.
Stylish….Yeah that’ll be my number. |
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"A Miranda style sweep of my hair while trying to be utterly scrumptious, sadly failing with a poke to the eye and lolloping over my flared trousers and ending up a heap on the floor.
Stylish….Yeah that’ll be my number."
Phwaor xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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“This ain’t gonna suck itself”
“If you jump on it now, we could be done in time grab a couple of episodes of Dexter before sleep”
“Sorry about the wet patch babe………..anyways, nitey night.” |
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The awkward one.
Um…they’re…quite nice…those…tits…I think.
Actually I don’t say much during the action. Make quite a bit of noise, just can’t make out the words…you’ll still know I’m enjoying myself though  |
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By *vaRoseWoman 27 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
Bruce are you working for the university research team lately?
Urgh “Daddy” 🤮
Praise kink and praise giver, hate degrading terms.
Your option 3 made me laugh, would only work if he’s dressed as a knight and actually brings a sword
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I'm unashamedly 1 and 2. Bunny is definitely a 1 in the bedroom (and elsewhere)
But there is always room for some 3.
Got too love getting vocal and a little warm up to let her know what she's in for.  |
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"Tickle your arse with a feather?
So sorry, particularly nice weather.
If you’re going to quite Two Ronnies sketches at least get it right "
The joke was old when the Two Ronnies used it. Similar vintage to NORWICH. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 27 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I'm a no 5
I struggle to play it straight and keep going into a comedy double talk routine 
To me
To you
To me "
Ah, but they're expecting the second 'to me'
So I'd go:
To me
To you
Push with a stepladder
They wouldn't be expecting that |
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"A Miranda style sweep of my hair while trying to be utterly scrumptious, sadly failing with a poke to the eye and lolloping over my flared trousers and ending up a heap on the floor.
Stylish….Yeah that’ll be my number."
If anyone can pull that off it'll be you.
falls on floor, gets up, "yea I meant to do that" stylee.
Sashay's round, slips on a spilt pint, and falls into a sultry bom bshell's lap.
"Just as planned" you purr to yourself. |
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"Four options
1) the good girl/daddy - there's a good girl, fuck me daddy type
2) the NASTY one - I'm gonna break that c*nt, choooke me harder
3) the classy one - I will unsteath your garments and kiss upon thy mound, heavens that feels glorious
4) the flirt around one - 😏😉, sounds fun... That's the extent.
Well?!"
Can there be a 5th option for "awkward as hell?"
"Talk dirty to me..."
"Ok. I've been bad...."
"How bad...?"
"Erm.......I kicked a goose"
"Ohhh.....wait, what
..?!" |
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"Four options
1) the good girl/daddy - there's a good girl, fuck me daddy type
2) the NASTY one - I'm gonna break that c*nt, choooke me harder
3) the classy one - I will unsteath your garments and kiss upon thy mound, heavens that feels glorious
4) the flirt around one - 😏😉, sounds fun... That's the extent.
Well?!"
Hi mmm I am more the “ fu&7)?ngt(£&t wa£&7!?k cu£/4 sl@45? Type |
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"A Miranda style sweep of my hair while trying to be utterly scrumptious, sadly failing with a poke to the eye and lolloping over my flared trousers and ending up a heap on the floor.
Stylish….Yeah that’ll be my number.
If anyone can pull that off it'll be you.
falls on floor, gets up, "yea I meant to do that" stylee.
Sashay's round, slips on a spilt pint, and falls into a sultry bom bshell's lap.
"Just as planned" you purr to yourself. "
You’ve met me and you know this to be true!
I Sashay at least twice a day too |
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“Shut ur wh__e mouth & get on your back. Part those elegant legs and let me dive into your valley to gorge on your sweet nectar” hahaha 
