I've never watched a full episode but I do have a t-shirt of two cows which I'm actually wearing right now. Under one it says "small" and under the other it says "far away".

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By *exyScientistsCouple 18 weeks ago

Castlebar

That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.

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By *ittyKateUKWoman 18 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"The cows.

These ones are small..."

Same!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple 18 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Is there anything to be said for saying another mass?

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By *ustAnotherMan 18 weeks ago

brumish

This town

Ahhhh

Is coming like a ghost town

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

Mrs Doyle to Father Jack, "And what would you say to a little cup (of tea) Father?"

Father Jack "Feck off cup!!!"

Gets me every time

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman 18 weeks ago

Manchester

Those women were in the nip!!!

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By *ripfillMan 18 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

“FECK …FECK …. and FECK “

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By *8585Man 18 weeks ago

Teesside

When Mrs Doyle says ride me sideways was another one.

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By *eordie.Woman 18 weeks ago

The Sticks

'I've had my fun and that's all that matters'

Father Fintan Stack

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By *utieBootyPatootieWoman 18 weeks ago

Here or There abouts

There's some very hairy babies on the island and I think you pat mustard are the hairy baby maker!!

😅🤣🤣

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By *aybeLadyWoman 18 weeks ago

West Dublin

'That money was just resting in my account'....

Father Ted is sorely missed 😒

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By *ornycougaWoman 18 weeks ago

SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA

Most of my faves are covered above but I'll add

(Alton Crosby) gives good mass. He really knows how to work the alter. Look at that chalice work, effortless.

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By *aybeLadyWoman 18 weeks ago

West Dublin

I think I need to binge watch all of the episodes again.

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By *nterblueMan 18 weeks ago

manchester

Dougal's "They Don't Exist" chart

Loch Ness Monster

Frankenstein

Magnum P.I.

Non-Catholic Gods

Darth Vader

The Phantom

The Beast

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By *l_xxxMan 18 weeks ago

South leeds

You wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, would ya Father?

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By *alted!Man 18 weeks ago

Cork

It's my money father. I just didn't want to fill out the forms

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By *orkshirebear74Man 18 weeks ago

Sheffield

Oasis or Blur??

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

Pat mustard

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple 18 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Careful now!

Down with this sort of thing!

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By *ustcallMan 18 weeks ago

Glasgow

Dougal and Father Ted the song for Europe, the room is full of smoke they’ve been at it all night just playing the f=+*^n note

Even now I can’t stop laughing

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By *uperchargedMan 18 weeks ago

Manchester

"Chair! Curtains! Floor! GOBSHITE!"

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By *T_111Man 18 weeks ago

Windsor

ARSE BISCUITS!!

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By *ost SockMan 18 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff

“So, Ted…have you still got the old hairy arse?”

A seemingly frivolous line, that, in a few words, delves deeper into the psyche of Catholicism and the priesthood than anything that went before. Or since, probably

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By *dinBiPrvMan 18 weeks ago

Edinburgh

We ran the gas off the electricity, and the electricity off the gas, and we saved £200 a year…..

What’s your favourite humming noise?

Bishop: So father, do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested?

Dougal: Well, you know the way God made us all, right, and he’s looking down on us from heaven and everything, and then his son came down and saved everyone and all that…. And when we die, we’re all going to go to heaven…..

Bishop: Yes…. What about it?

Dougal: Well…. That’s the bit I have trouble with.

Eamonn

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By *glyfath84Man 18 weeks ago

Caernarfon

Small, far away 🤣

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman 18 weeks ago

Midlothian

Mrs Doyle, 'would you like a bit of cake, father? There's cocaine in it! Oh wait, I didn't mean cocaine...raisins!' (Paraphrasing)

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By *ustAnotherMan 18 weeks ago

brumish

I love my brick

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By *imiTheSweetMan 18 weeks ago

Halesowen

"Just play the fecking Note"

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

Would you like your pizza cut in 4 slices or 8

4 I couldn’t eat 8

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By *eceivers-of-edenCouple 18 weeks ago

W Yorks

TED: Television. It's a big waste. Chewing gum for the eyes.

DOUGAL: No, thanks, Ted. I've got these crisps here.

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By *ries AngelWoman 18 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Pat Mustard and the hairy babies

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By *ora the explorerWoman 18 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Chess or Buckaroo? - Actually, I wouldn't mind chess today. - Really? No, only joking, Ted. Buckaroo!

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By *zeroMan 18 weeks ago

Glasgow

"What would you say to a lovely cup of tea Father?"

"FECK OFF CUP!"

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By *lue morphoCouple 18 weeks ago

north west

Drink !

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By *underlandfellaMan 18 weeks ago

sunderland

"I hear you're a racist now, father! "

Should we all be racist now father, what's the official line of the church 😆

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By *cLovin2Man 18 weeks ago

Reading

Feck where do I begin?

I recently rewatched the series it's available on the 4 player.

Pat Mustard to Mrs Doyle: Can I put my massive tool in your box?

TV personality: I could have you killed!

Graham Norton: let's see who can shout the loudest aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Mrs Doyle: I blame the Greeks, because they invented gayness

Upon seeing Richard Wilson (Victori Meldrew) - I bet he'd really like it if someone went up to him and yelled his catchphrase in his ear. Results in him getting slapped up.

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By *he Silver FuxMan 18 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Nuns!! Reverse, reverse, reverse

Very, very, very, very dark blue

There’s cocaine in it

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By *ark.aitkenMan 18 weeks ago

Newcastle

""I mean, look at that. A perfectly square piece of dirt on the window!" As arms are waved around in an Elon musk fashion.

This one. The square had been there all the time. Hardly anyone noticed it but its just so funny

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By *irwanksalot69Man 18 weeks ago

Birmingham

Those women were in the nib!

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By *eading beddingMan 18 weeks ago

Berks

"Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom? ...of course, they ALL have lovely bottoms!"

"Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!"

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By *ensualbicockMan 18 weeks ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Don't call me Len ya little prick

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By *teveinYorkMan 18 weeks ago

Pocklington

Father Jack: "Nuns, nuns, reverse, reverse"

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By *tumpyminkey65Man 18 weeks ago

Dudley

What’s that that Jack calls the needy Ted?

A shower of bastards Dougal

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By *adbod2godbodMan 18 weeks ago

Manchester

Fed up with brrriiiiicccckkkkkkk

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By *ools and the brainCouple 18 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Ahhhh will ye have a cup of tea, gowannn gowannn ......

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By *anchesterTaurusMan 18 weeks ago

Prestwich

Sooo you're a racist now father?

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By *ools and the brainCouple 18 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Kick Bishops Brennan in the ball's

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By *ack1971Man 18 weeks ago

Cork

Just play the fucking note!

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By *ools and the brainCouple 18 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

Some of us like the misery.

Near… Far away.

Ted, did Len find the rabbits?

And many many more!

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By *issmeltingpotWoman 18 weeks ago

Darlington

"'I've had my fun and that's all that matters'

Father Fintan Stack"

“ if you ever say that to me again I’ll put your head through the wall “

Also Father Fintan Stack 😂😂

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By *erseykevMan 18 weeks ago

St Helier

No Dougal! Those aren't small cows! They're just far away! And that money was only resting in my account!

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By *antam AvershiresMan 18 weeks ago

Falme

YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL?!

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By *arakiss12TV/TS 18 weeks ago

Bedfuck

That tea machine episode classic, another tea farther. Hilarious.

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By *issmeltingpotWoman 18 weeks ago

Darlington

“ I have no willy”

Eoin Mclove

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By *orthernRockerMan 18 weeks ago

Bag End..

"The cows.

These ones are small..."

But the ones out there are FAR AWAY... Small... far away...

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By *layfull pairingCouple 18 weeks ago

Bristol

I hear your a racist now father....

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By *ornysouthwalesMan 18 weeks ago

Merthyr Tydfil

DRINK!!!

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By *uriousVoyeurMan 18 weeks ago

Northside

"“I’ve got to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!”

Dammit, was gonna say this one 😂

This and the fake arms during the OAP football match 🤣"

"Go on.....

.....my son"

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By *orkieBar1000Man 18 weeks ago

York

Down with this sort of thing.

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

There’s a spider baby Ted !!

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By *cLovin2Man 18 weeks ago

Reading

"“ I have no willy”

Eoin Mclove "

That's his name, when he tried to intimidate, he said "I can have you killed"

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By *aptain Caveman41Man 18 weeks ago

Home

" hairy Japanese bastards "

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By *77incuncutMan 18 weeks ago

Doncaster

All farther ted is amazing well written and missed

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By *elvet RopeMan 18 weeks ago

by the big field

I'm sooooo, sooooo, sorrrrrry!

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By *liceDarkTV/TS 18 weeks ago

Worksop

I hear you're a racist now, Father?

Should we all be racist now?

What's the Church's position?

I'm so busy down on the farm I won't have much time for the old racism.

Also...

The Chinese. A great bunch of lads.

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