FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Dad jokes.
Dad jokes.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
|
Since the your mum jokes isn't fun for all. 😳
How about some silly dad jokes.
What did the horse say when it tripped?
Help I've fallen and i can't giddy up. 🫣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait  👀👀 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait 👀👀"
Omg 🤣🤣🤣
Laughed so hard |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Which cheese would you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
my lady asked where I was taking her for valentines day.
Apparently 'up the arse' wasn't the correct answer.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
|
"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait 👀👀
Omg 🤣🤣🤣
Laughed so hard "
 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
|
What u call a guy with a seagull on his head?
Cliff |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *utualMan 23 weeks ago
Bawtry |
I said to my wife of 20 years: 'Am I really the only one you've ever been with?' She quickly replied: 'Absolutely! Before you, they were all nines and tens'...... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
Still no idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no head?
Matt. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What's brown and sticky?
A stick |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?
A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *utualMan 23 weeks ago
Bawtry |
I used to date an English teacher who kept correcting my grammar during sex.
She got particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.....  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *inkShyWoman 23 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea "
This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *inkShyWoman 23 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"I used to date an English teacher who kept correcting my grammar during sex.
She got particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon..... "
🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A white horse walks into a pub.
The landlord said, “we got a whiskey named after you”.
The white horse said, “what, Eric”? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why should you never buy Ukrainian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fall out!  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 23 weeks ago
|
What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What’s better than daffodils on your piano?
Tulips on your organ!  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *utualMan 23 weeks ago
Bawtry |
Recently my grandfather sat the family down and told us he was addicted to viagra?
No one took it harder than grandma.
 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy? She wrote about it in her diary. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
|
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I've never had a lentil on my face... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a guy standing undererneath a bridge...Arch
What do you call a guy with no hair standing underneath a bridge
Archibald |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea
This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde."
S e a w e e d |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Me - Excuse me Dr, where do I put my pants during the examination?
Dr - Just put them over there next to mine. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I dreamt I won a car last night.
The only trouble is, when I woke up this morning, all I had was the horn. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why shouldn’t you buy trousers from the Ukraine?
Because Chernobyl fall out |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Just asked the missus if she could tie my shoelaces whilst I'm on the toilet.
She said "are you serious"
"I shit, you knot" i said.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
The outside |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What socks do Pirates wear...?
Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhgyle socks |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I bought a toilet brush last week
To cut a long story short
Ive gone back to using toilet paper |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Breaking news!
A man was admitted to hospital last night with 25 plastic horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have de_cribed his condition as stable. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Where does a book group that has studied the same book for years and years meet?
Church |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Chatted to a guy on here, sent him a load of Lego puns.
He's blocked me |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What language do bridges speak?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Span-ish |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
|
"What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?
A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding"
🤣🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Are you sponsored by NASA.... Because you're a rocket |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
|
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
And now the football results
Real Madrid 2 - Surreal Madrid Fish |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My grief councillor died
But luckily he was so good I didn't give a shit |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
|
I am drinking too much brake fluid.
I'm not addicted I can stop any time. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
Whats brown and sticky.
A stick |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.
People are really impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim every morning. 🚽 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *aven3Man 19 weeks ago
Stoford |
"What’s better than daffodils on your piano?
Tulips on your organ! "
😁😁💋🥒 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea
This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde."
I don't get this either lol  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea
This has totally gone over my head, so I might be off to the stereotype thread to confess I'm blonde.
S e a w e e d"
Aha now makes sense thank you lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish
"
How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two
One to screw the bulb in, the other to observe how the bulb symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Loving the jokes!!!
What do you call a gay dinosaur after he’s been fucked by his man?
A magasaurarse |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’ve been trying to sell my collection of glove puppets for the last 6 months.
Nobody will take them off my hands.
Badum tissshhh. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I used to steal kettles.
I’ve been in hot water ever since. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
What did one curtain say to the other?
We should pull ourselves together. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a dog with no legs?
anything you want, it still won’t come to you.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What happens when you mix a cow and an octopus?
A firm rebuke from the ethics committee and a cessation of funding"
Oh that was goooood |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Getting ready for work wife said your shoes are on the wrong feet i said yes they shoulf be on yours |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
"I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education "
 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask him nicely |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
How does a cat sound going down a motorway?
Meeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwww!😹 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes
A doyouthinkhesawrus |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 16/03/25 13:02:56] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
What do you call a man between two houses? Ali.
Guy walks into a bar. Ouch.
"Dad, I'm hungry" "hi hungry, I'm dad" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder. "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
I had a date with a dolphin!
We just clicked |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *avie65Man 19 weeks ago
In the west. |
Don’t argue with left handed people. They are not right. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What kind of chocolate do you find at airports?
Plain |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
One for the older generation... Bill and Ben, flower pot men.
Bill and Ben sitting together.
Bill says to Ben, flobba, lobba lobble.
Ben says, for fuck sake Bill.If you loved me, you'd of swallowed!!!🤪 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids?
A megasorarse |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *tr8MrEMan 19 weeks ago
somewhere near Sheffield |
Never fuck with a stupid dwarf, it ain't big and it ain't clever |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids?
A megasorarse"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Never fuck with a stupid dwarf, it ain't big and it ain't clever"
🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Who invented the round table?
Sir cumference |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Who invented the round table?
Sir cumference "
That was wheely good |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A ‘round’ of applause for that one |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *nobyMan 19 weeks ago
Dorchester |
Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *cribeMan 19 weeks ago
Bridgend |
"And now the football results
Real Madrid 2 - Surreal Madrid Fish"
Hahaha |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A ‘round’ of applause for that one"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've got a new job playing triangle in a reggae band. And ting. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone.
Then it dawned on me... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I’m addicted to placebos. "
Did they have you running up that hill ?? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm currently reading a book on anti gravity, I cant put it down. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?
Sir Cumfrence |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
|
Did you hear about the magic tractor??
It turned into a field.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
What's pink and smells of Ginger? Fred Astaire's fingers. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *olo180Man 19 weeks ago
Greater London |
What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *FF23Man 19 weeks ago
London |
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice fingers.
😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *gv24Man 19 weeks ago
boston |
Once upon a time there was this old empty barn well there was fuck all in it the end |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I took my last meet out for a meal during a social and she kept insisting she wanted to pay for the meal.
I said: "It's too fucking late now! We're halfway down the street so just keep running... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call a donkey that's missing a leg?
A wonkey |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *aldy321Man 19 weeks ago
Huddersfield |
Did you hear about the one armed fisherman?
He caught a fish this big 🤣🤣🤣
On second thoughts this joke doesn't really translate well by message... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Two monkeys in a bath. One goes ooo! ooo! oooo! oooo! The other goes, "well put some cold water in then!"
It's better in person. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I got a part time job working some extra hours in a bakery, I needed the dough |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Velcro is a rip off
Crazy paving , isn’t all it’s cracked up to be |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"A white horse walks into a pub.
The landlord said, “we got a whiskey named after you”.
The white horse said, “what, Eric”?"
This, is it close enough?
A King Erik Pure Malt, 12-year-old Whisky, imported for the French market.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Philosophy? Why?
World's shortest joke
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
"Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?
Sir Cumfrence"
And the Knight who always arrived unexpectedly
Sir Prise |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"I can’t believe I failed my Religious Education GCSE, I mean Jason Christ, who fails Religious Education "
I thought it was roses in a basket, sounds more realistic. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Did you hear about the rotund knight at King Arthur's Round Table?
Sir Cumfrence
And the Knight who always arrived unexpectedly
Sir Prise"
His favourite General was Sir Cumspect , as he could see the problems beforehand. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
How do you confuse an idiot?
Thursday. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
How did they get jesus to outstrech his arms on the cross?
'Just exactly how big was that fish you caught'
One of Brian's me thinks. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My wife yelled "you haven't listened to a single word I've been saying, have you ?"
Thought to myself, what a strange way to start a conversation |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
A man opened a bar called G Spot. It had to close down because no one could find it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Every so often I go up to my Spanish colleagues and say "Mucho". It means a lot to them
( I know it is so old, but I still love that joke!) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"A man opened a bar called G Spot. It had to close down because no one could find it. "
But the Hampshire based road painters did once write it down on the roundabout approach, before the spoilsports ruined it and had it removed.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
What was the name of the three dinosaurs found in Haworth, Yorkshire in the 19th century?
AnneBrontesauraus
CharlotteBrontesauraus
EmilyBrontesauraus |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I was wondering why I needed to carry a geiger counter, then it clicked.
Just saw a sign that made me piss myself. It said "toilets closed". |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What goes: black……….white……black …white…black white black white black white?
A penguin rolling down a hill |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
I thought I was having a migraine outside St James' park. I wasn't, the toon army were walking over the zebra crossing. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What goes: black……….white……black …white…black white black white black white?
A penguin rolling down a hill"
What turns from green to red in half a second ?
A frog in a liquidizer.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Why do instore Santas get given the sack at the end of the Xmas eve shift? Surely it should be taken off them... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My sister said there would be no way I could build a car out of spaghetti. Should have seen her face when I drove right pasta. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My sister said there would be no way I could build a car out of spaghetti. Should have seen her face when I drove right pasta. "
Reminds me of when Skoda built a full size car out of cake.... - the brakes were a bit spongy |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Last night I had a chicken Tarka,
It’s like a chicken Tikka ,
Only a little Otter |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
elon Musk had bought out the 'Fast & the furious' franchise, it's called the 'Fascist and der Fuhrer' |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I went to the worst zoo in the world the other day. It only had one animal.
It was a shih tzu. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why did the chewing gum cross the road??
It was stuck to the chickens foot. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This joke self-identifies as funny.
It's pronouns are He/He/He. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
I was going to be a comedian, but the wages were a joke. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I killed a French vampire with a baguette, it was pain staking, but that's the only way |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What the difference between your job & your wife ? After 5 years your job will still suck |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Lisp is an auto diagnosing condition: if you can't say it, you've got it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *liza_13Woman 19 weeks ago
Motherwell |
What’s white and can’t climb trees…….
A fridge |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
I can jump higher than an elephant: have you seen an elephant jump? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Dad jokes - no thanks - not even if it was the end of the world.
Armageddon out of here. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The people of dubai don't like the flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *aygee246Man 19 weeks ago
South Lanarkshire |
"What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife. "
Financial times crossword |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, I think the drywipe board is the most remarkable
Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife.
Financial times crossword"
being a winner of the Magli Rosa |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *YDB75Man 19 weeks ago
Beverley |
My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night
1 with a trombone
1 with a trumpet
1 with a sax
1 with a flute
The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night
1 with a trombone
1 with a trumpet
1 with a sax
1 with a flute
The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack "
🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night
1 with a trombone
1 with a trumpet
1 with a sax
1 with a flute
The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack "
He must have been really brassed off. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *YDB75Man 19 weeks ago
Beverley |
A thorough investigation was conducted |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"My neighbour was attacked by 4 men last night
1 with a trombone
1 with a trumpet
1 with a sax
1 with a flute
The police believe it was an Orchestrated attack
🤣🤣"
who was the arresting officer,? CID or somone from the beat? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says...'not you two again?' |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My friend got two new puppies the other day and called one Calvin and the other Klein - they were boxers! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
|
Did you hear about the Peruvian owls working together.
I heard they are inca-hoots |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
When I donate blood, the nurse extracts it for me
Yes sir but this is a sperm bank, it doesn’t work like that |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
|
Hey. Did you hear about that paper shop in town???
It blew away.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Whats pink & wrinkled and hangs out your undies ? Your Mum |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 19 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says...'not you two again?'"
what were they hoping to drink?
Desire IPA |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I asked Alexa what do women want..
It hasn't stopped for 7 days
. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *FF23Man 19 weeks ago
London |
If I ever find the surgeon that fucked up this limb transplant, I’ll kill him with my bear hands. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There are no aspirin in the jungle, the parrots eat em all |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *gf301Man 19 weeks ago
canterbury |
Saw a man carrying a long pole.
I said "are you a pole vaulter"?
He replied, "no, I'm a German, but how did you know my name is Volter"? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What do you call an Irish lesbian!?
Gaelic!!!😁...(Gay,lick!) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"What do you call an Irish lesbian!?
Gaelic!!!😁...(Gay,lick!)"
And they enjoy liquor too! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I keep trying to break up with my long term girlfriend, she's an optician.
It's been really difficult.
Every time I say I can't see her anymore, she moves an inch closer and says "what about now?" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I've just deleted all my German contacts from my phone.
It's now Hans free. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What’s the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your dad can’t take a joke .. oh wait 👀👀"
Different Abbey. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was.
It was a wild guess, but it turns out that I was right.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why do Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs?
It's because they're Inca hoots. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
Why can't tribes get pain relief in the jungle
Because the parrotseatamall |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
What did the pirate say to his m8s at his 80th birthday party
Ayyyyy mateyyyy |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
I'm proper laffin at myself here haha |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was at the bookshop the other day and seen a book that said
"How to solve 50% of your problems"
So bought 2 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
What do u call a Scottish cloakroom attendant
Angus mcoatup |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"What do u call a Scottish cloakroom attendant
Angus mcoatup"
His dentist is called Phil McCavity
His lawyer is called MT Mawallit |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
What's pink, about 6 inches long and is never usually welcomed when waived about, without causing some annoyance?
A £50 note. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
If you was a macdonalds burger you'd be a ....... mc cutie |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts and bolts 🤖 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *tr8MrEMan 18 weeks ago
somewhere near Sheffield |
What goes click click have I done it, click click have I done it
Stevie Wonder with a Rubik's cube |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
How does a train eat?
It chew chews |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
What's a robot's favourite IPA?
Neck oil. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ilbzMan 18 weeks ago
Swindon Wiltshire |
To earn extra money i have started doing circumcisions on the side, the pay is crap but i get to keep the tips….. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"To earn extra money i have started doing circumcisions on the side, the pay is crap but i get to keep the tips….."
Do you need a bigger coin purse? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
What's Yorkshire's county anthem?
Living in the past, by Jethro Tull. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orny PTMan 18 weeks ago
Peterborough |
What's green, slimy and smells of pork?
Kermit's tongue/fingers/cock. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
Where do whales go to get weighed
The Whale weigh station 😬🤣🤣 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
|
What's the difference between a camera and a sock. One takes 5 toes the other takes photos |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
