FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sell yourself..
Sell yourself..
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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..In two lines
What makes you shaggable?
Bribery is welcomed and encouraged, I'll also accept white lies.
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By *mmaleiaWoman 24 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
I’m a female, breathing with a vagina
Didn’t even need 2 lines |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I love cat's and still believe manners maketh man. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Sorry autocorrect ….😜
Lick it or hump it
🤣🤣🤣 |
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Tidy, energetic, passionate and a colossal winkie with three gallon balls.
Hardly ever lies. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I've been told I've a pretty dick😉
Failing that happy to share chocolates 🤣 |
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I'm kinky and surprising.
And I cook. |
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By *orny PTMan 24 weeks ago
Peterborough |
I have magic fingers and dangerous knowledge   |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Handsome as fuck, and a pretty decent dick for riding. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Sell myself
Fook me they'd want a refund! |
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I can breath through my ears.
I also have a penis 👍🏻 |
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I am not for sale, I come free  |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I’m a decent enough shag if you’re getting desperate. |
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By *rAitchMan 24 weeks ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I bake great cakes. |
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I'll tidy the bedroom and provide half time entertainment. Maybe even a cuppa if I can find a teabag  |
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Give me a good single malt whisky after and a toastie and I'm yours. |
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By *sWyldWoman 24 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I'm marginally better than a wank.
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I’m kind of a big deal: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 24 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Hi, I'm Tina Titz and I'm Tina Titz |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I can suck better than a hoover and give you the best 6 and 1/2 mins of your life riding. I also offer cake and tea |
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Soft, round, and fun all over, with a very eager mouth.
Always tips waiting staff and Deliveroo drivers.
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I couldn't give myself away...never mind sell myself |
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Big titty goth girl who likes sucking cock. Pocket-sized 5'1 deviant. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Sell myself lol
I have enough problems giving it away! |
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Voted Fab’s best cock 2024. Sadly it’s now 2025, so discounts apply. |
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"Sorry autocorrect ….😜
Lick it or hump it
🤣🤣🤣"
Sounds like a good plan
B |
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I may not be hung like a donkey
But work very hard for your satisfaction
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I have my own teeth
I’m over four foot tall. |
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I've got a Ferrari.
I really don't, but I always love that line in men behaving badly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I’m a female, breathing with a vagina
Didn’t even need 2 lines"
You're not wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Sorry autocorrect ….😜
Lick it or hump it
🤣🤣🤣"
Sold |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I love cat's and still believe manners maketh man."
You've got the pussy loving kitties excited or should that be the other way around? 🤷♀️😂 |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪"
Jam samwich? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Tidy, energetic, passionate and a colossal winkie with three gallon balls.
Hardly ever lies."
Sold, sold, sold  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I've been told I've a pretty dick😉
Failing that happy to share chocolates 🤣"
Pretty dick and chocolates, that'll do  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I'm kinky and surprising.
And I cook."
Sod the other two, if you can cook, I'm sold! X |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Being very cheeky and a very handsome boy 😉 |
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Nothing makes me shaggable
To skint to bribe anyone |
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By *B..Woman 24 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
Ok for an old bird |
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Low self esteem means I'll try harder to please. Line up ladies |
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"I'm kinky and surprising.
And I cook.
Sod the other two, if you can cook, I'm sold! X"
On my way! |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?"
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I have magic fingers and dangerous knowledge "
The dangerous knowledge has me intrigued. Can you help me get away with murder? |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I have my own teeth
I’m over four foot tall. "
I feel attacked 🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"We're great at dp "
Oooft 🔥 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Handsome as fuck, and a pretty decent dick for riding."
You forget to mention that you can offer a taste of the rainbow |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Sell myself
Fook me they'd want a refund!"
Me and you both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I can breath through my ears.
I also have a penis 👍🏻"
The penis will do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I am not for sale, I come free "
Even better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I’m a decent enough shag if you’re getting desperate. "
Help.. I'm desperate  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I bake great cakes."
That's all of the forum in then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I'll tidy the bedroom and provide half time entertainment. Maybe even a cuppa if I can find a teabag "
Sold |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Give me a good single malt whisky after and a toastie and I'm yours."
Whisky and a toastie?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪"
Out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I'm marginally better than a wank.
"
Sounds hot, in |
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By *beeMan 24 weeks ago
Bristol |
I'm in for selling myself...£4.75 reduced from £19.99... it's a deal, it's a steal....it's... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I’m kind of a big deal: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
^ smells like money, in |
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Can make a banging roast and cake, needs to be entertained or to be left alone, gives good head. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Hi, I'm Tina Titz and I'm Tina Titz "
No further explanation needed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I can suck better than a hoover and give you the best 6 and 1/2 mins of your life riding. I also offer cake and tea "
A whole 6 and a half?! What's your secret?! |
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"I’m a female, breathing with a vagina
Didn’t even need 2 lines"
Very good point and well made! Succinct and to the point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Plump and unfiltered! "
Sold |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Soft, round, and fun all over, with a very eager mouth.
Always tips waiting staff and Deliveroo drivers.
"
It's getting hot in here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I couldn't give myself away...never mind sell myself "
Me either, and I've tried on several occasions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Big titty goth girl who likes sucking cock. Pocket-sized 5'1 deviant. "
Hot, in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Make you laugh
Make you come"
Sold x10 an actual sense of humour?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Sell myself lol
I have enough problems giving it away!"
There's a group of us over here in the corner, come on over |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I’ll bring snacks "
I like snacks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Shaggable.The Next Generation "
With an entrance like that, I'm sold |
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I give a great head and back massage.
And will make a cuppa afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Voted Fab’s best cock 2024. Sadly it’s now 2025, so discounts apply."
Better get your name down for this year's awards. I do like a good discount, sold |
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will fuck for a beetroot and salad cream sandwich |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I may not be hung like a donkey
But work very hard for your satisfaction
"
💪💪💪💪 sold |
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"will fuck for a beetroot and salad cream sandwich"
... ... I thought it was just me that liked that..
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"will fuck for a beetroot and salad cream sandwich... ... I thought it was just me that liked that.."
beetroot Has to be slightly warm
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I’m asking £2m for me but would accept £1m, give or take a pound |
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By *orny PTMan 24 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"will fuck for a beetroot and salad cream sandwich"
Are you related to Baldrick? |
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"will fuck for a beetroot and salad cream sandwich... ... I thought it was just me that liked that..beetroot Has to be slightly warm"
.. ... where did you stick it to get warm
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Can't cook, totally undomesticated and my sex drive has got lost.
Fancy coffee n cake instead? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I have my own teeth
I’m over four foot tall. "
You just attacked a lot of the people in my local updates.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I've got a Ferrari.
I really don't, but I always love that line in men behaving badly. "
Sold, for effort |
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By *bcplCouple 24 weeks ago
Aberdeenshire |
Horny housewife |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Nothing makes me shaggable
To skint to bribe anyone "
You and me both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Ok for an old bird "
Sold |
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Dashing degenerate beer monster.
Will fit in somewhere… |
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Do i have to provide a warranty or return with this sale? |
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I won the lottery back in January...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Ok it was only a tenner but it all adds up. |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club "
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle. |
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Profile pic will be re-enacted at any given opportunity 🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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What I lack in skill I make up for with snacks. |
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Aging fat woman with decent boobs and arse |
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By *educedWoman 24 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Hi I'm Seduced, I'm Seduced! |
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I have great tits...
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.
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...and could take you for a roll in the hay. |
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Do you like cheese?
Do you like peas?
B |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle."
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me .. |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me .."
Mature cheddar? |
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I'll make you feel good about yourself. |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar? "
Deal! 🥪 |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪"
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham "
As long as it's not wafer thin ham, it's fine 😁 |
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Classic model, works well but needs servicing!
And a dab hand at baking treats |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham
As long as it's not wafer thin ham, it's fine 😁"
I'll go Morrisons and get some from the deli, specially for you |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham
As long as it's not wafer thin ham, it's fine 😁"
Just read ‘wafer thin’ in the Monty Python mindset 🤔
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham
As long as it's not wafer thin ham, it's fine 😁
Just read ‘wafer thin’ in the Monty Python mindset 🤔
"
Waffer |
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"Will fuck for a sandwich 🥪
Jam samwich?
I was thinking more BLT or Chicken Club
The best I can do is tuna mayo or ham and pickle.
Ham and cheese?....pickle doesn't tend to agree with me ..
Mature cheddar?
Deal! 🥪
Hope you like Lidl own brand cheese and ham
As long as it's not wafer thin ham, it's fine 😁
I'll go Morrisons and get some from the deli, specially for you "
Now we're talking! 🙌🙌🥪 |
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Still life in these old bones
Post coital pizza available |
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By *ripfillMan 24 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
Tried the rest ?
Then just settle for the best …. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I'm a kinky bitch...nothing is vanilla with me 😈 |
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"I'm a kinky bitch...nothing is vanilla with me 😈"
I'm sold
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I am not for sale.
But rental in an option. |
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Don't cum so can pleasure over and over |
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'Vagina'.
After all that's more than enough for here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"Handsome as fuck, and a pretty decent dick for riding."
Sold! ♥️ |
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By *mf123Man 24 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Too dangerous |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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My dick is laced with honey |
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I am an evil bitch who adores woman and feminity. I torture and devour anything else.😈 |
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Dad jokes for days
A box of milk chocolates and tea is all we need |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Talented smoother. Foreplay queen. I don't get arousal easily but when I do, I moan in Spanish. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I am an evil bitch who adores woman and feminity. I torture and devour anything else.😈"
Wow 🔥 |
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"Talented smoother. Foreplay queen. I don't get arousal easily but when I do, I moan in Spanish. "
😍😍😍 Bueno!! 😍😍😍 |
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Treat women like queen's
Try to have normal conversations without sex in it |
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10 minutes, or 10 hour's, all depends on the chemistry 😈 |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Good with my tongue
Make sure I finish last |
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Leg shaking knee wobbler with sweet tasting baby glue🤭 |
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"My dick is laced with honey"
Sweet ! |
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Kinky as you like, and always put others pleasure first |
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When it comes to cock...I'd undo your jeans rub my face on your bulge...feel it get hard take off your boxers. Kiss your cock and chest... Lick and tease the tip of your cock. Then put your throbbing cock in my mouth. Hear you moan and enjoy it... Id suck on it up and down like a lollipop. Rub it on my lips, slap it on my tongue then spit on it and suck it sloppy xx |
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[Removed by poster at 20/02/25 06:04:14] |
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Selling myself is a different fantasy in itself, paid and used. But in the way this is posed and in my current naughty mood..my long smooth legs are amazing in stockings and wearing makes me feel such absolutely filthy bitch |
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I'm a straight talking, beer drinking grumpy sod with a wild streak, who makes amazing cakes, gives great cwtches and has lots of toys.
Take it or leave it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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All you can eat for £1 |
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Unique, curly ,3c haired ,redhead, bisexual
Shares husband,Spanish women that plays ffm |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I'm hung like a horse, is that a yes or a neigh.
Can bend like my truths, but mostly break like my promises.
Honest and sarcastic. |
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By *hiversMan 24 weeks ago
Dinas Powys |
'79 model, in fair to good condition, some age related marks but nothing that won't buff out. |
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Your plastic pal who's fun to be with. |
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Will bring cheesecake
Too fat to be picked up you don't need to run after me. Walking speed is fine. |
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I couldn't give myself away if I was in the bargain bin...🤣🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I've got a handsome willy, and I'm Ryan Reynolds doppelganger. |
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2" nail
Overpowered multi speed durable hammer action |
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I won't waste your time, in fact it will be over in seconds |
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3 easy reasons, I'm as good at maths as I am in bed |
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Opening bib £0.99 - oh hang on sorry I've misunderstood the selling yourself bit  |
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Just hoping for a second chance… |
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Perfect for cat lovers. I'm hairy, self-centred and sleep a lot. |
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I can cook, I'm an animal lover and I have a cock. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"Sorry autocorrect ….😜
Lick it or hump it
🤣🤣🤣"
Ah. I preferred the first one. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"Soft, round, and fun all over, with a very eager mouth.
Always tips waiting staff and Deliveroo drivers.
"
Soft 🥰 |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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I have a nice face to look at in missionary. |
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"I can cook, I'm an animal lover and I have a cock. "
Sold |
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Apparently give the best hugs around, it seems that everyone loves how my "lady-parts" feel, my body is ridiculously sexually responsive and it's a bad session when I don't have any less than 6 orgasms.
I would have just gone for "winning smile", but was it probably wasn't enough.
Oh, and with my husband being a baker, at least one regular gets freshly-baked stuff for a post session natter. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I can suck better than a hoover and give you the best 6 and 1/2 mins of your life riding. I also offer cake and tea
A whole 6 and a half?! What's your secret?!
Old knees lol "
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"Perfect for cat lovers. I'm hairy, self-centred and sleep a lot."
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"I can suck better than a hoover and give you the best 6 and 1/2 mins of your life riding. I also offer cake and tea "
What more can you ask for? |
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"Horny housewife "
Hope to see you at the social in a couple of weeks |
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"Talented smoother. Foreplay queen. I don't get arousal easily but when I do, I moan in Spanish. "
Ostia ! |
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