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By *hagTonight OP Man 22 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I listened to something interesting about the importance of learning to say no, they mentioned many things like how it could be seen as a weakness in some circumstances as people could take advantage of ones kindness, they concluded by saying how you could work on it, by setting boundaries.
I agree that people can take advantage of ones kindness if one dont learn to say no. I think that the reason why so many say yes rather than no, is more to do with how people like to please others and is a people pleaser, because they get the buzz when doing something nice for someone else. I dont think that is a weakness at all, but of course not all the time, there should be some kind of middle ground of it.
What is your view of it, is it important to learn to say no, do you find it easy to say no?
I would say that I say no more times than I say yes to someone  |
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Yes, it is very important to be assertive, despite a lot of people nowadays finding "no" offensive. And I don't mean just on here.
I had to learn to be assertive much more regularly since I started my current job. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 22 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Yes, it is very important to be assertive, despite a lot of people nowadays finding "no" offensive. And I don't mean just on here.
I had to learn to be assertive much more regularly since I started my current job. "
Hi missdevil, yes, you are right there, it is very important to say no, that is good how you learnt to be assertive more regularly with your new job too |
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Knowing what's right for you and saying no, when something isn't, is right and healthy. It should be the easy option but isn't, when we succumb to the pressure from others. It's like all boundary setting and enforcement, do it for your well-being |
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Being able to say no is probably the most important skill you can learn. It puts you in control of your life.
If you can say no then a yes means something. A meaningful yes is probably the most important gift you can give some one. |
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"Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself. "
100% this. No is one of the most powerful words you can use. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 22 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Being able to say no is probably the most important skill you can learn. It puts you in control of your life.
If you can say no then a yes means something. A meaningful yes is probably the most important gift you can give some one."
100% this.
I get some folks are people pleasers and it can be difficult for them, but I've seen too many people be taken advantage of over the years because they thought saying no would make them appear rude, cold or uncaring.
It doesn't. Sometimes no is the right answer. |
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For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.
Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.
From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so. |
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By *kittexMan 22 weeks ago
Liverpool |
"I listened to something interesting about the importance of learning to say no, they mentioned many things like how it could be seen as a weakness in some circumstances as people could take advantage of ones kindness, they concluded by saying how you could work on it, by setting boundaries.
I agree that people can take advantage of ones kindness if one dont learn to say no. I think that the reason why so many say yes rather than no, is more to do with how people like to please others and is a people pleaser, because they get the buzz when doing something nice for someone else. I dont think that is a weakness at all, but of course not all the time, there should be some kind of middle ground of it.
What is your view of it, is it important to learn to say no, do you find it easy to say no?
I would say that I say no more times than I say yes to someone "
- Sure, saying no is nothing wrong with that. I also learn as a single male to never pretend much or look like i pretend, coz at the end of the day we all in this together so there will be certainly someone who fancy you, and who isn't really into single males. Sometimes when i visit my own local club i just have drinks, have a laugh and a good time but if it comes to this point and someone is fancy me i treat it like a good bonus for the end of the night. So afcourse saying no to certain situations isn't something wrong  |
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It’s an essential life skill, which it took me a long time to master. I think it’s really important we teach it to children too. Very often we push children into doing things “because I said so”. I don’t think it equips them particularly well for later life.
Obviously I’m not talking about situations where children would be endangering themselves or others.
Mrs TMN x |
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"For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.
Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.
From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so."
💪 |
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I'm a big people pleaser and find it hard to say no which frustrates me, and I do feel taken advantage of at times. I've tried to be better recently and say no when I need to but it is difficult. I always feel guilty after saying no. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 22 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I believe you should teach children from an early age to accept no and being able to say no to anyone "
Hi vixen, yes, you are right there, teaching children from an early age about it is important too |
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As someone else above has said (apologies, I didn't note your name), I'm also a people pleaser and struggle to say no. However, in this environment, I have no issue with it. I'm not having regrets. Anything I do is on my terms and if that isn't acceptable I'll find someone else who thinks it is.
I sound quite bitchy there, I promise I'm not. 😂🤷🏼♀️
F x |
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By *inkShyWoman 22 weeks ago
near Windsor |
I had to set boundaries for a lot of people in my life, and they didn't like it. I'd try and explain my reasoning, I would feel like I was making excuses rather than explaining. Now, the majority of the time, I go by " 'No.' is a full sentence" and I don't feel the need to explain. |
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I would not say yes or no at whim. It will be because it is the right thing to do at the time. Sometimes saying no to someone in need can have devastating consquences. At the same time self care is also important too. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 22 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"For the first 40 years of my life I struggled to say no if someone needed help or work done or a lift somewhere but I found it very easy to say no when others were putting pressure on me to drink or smoke or act like a twat.
Then I was ill for 8 months and during that time I was able to reflect on how I was being taken advantage of.
From that point on I was more confident in saying no when it suited me to do so."
That is good you was more confined in saying no from that point too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 22 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Saying no is very important. Its a boundary which needs to be respected. Saying no means you are prioritising yourself, instead of making ribbons of yourself. "
Hi _aybelady, yes, you are right there, saying no is very important, yes, its a boundary which needs to be respected |
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