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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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Today I’m asking-
How do you manage your time?
So I mean:
a) What do you use? Shared calendars? Well calendars? Diaries? Online calendars?
And
b) Do you prioritise some people to spend more of your time with over others? Of course partners may get more time but what about amongst partners? Or amongst those who aren’t? And how do you decide? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"Calenders and everyone gets equal time as I love a good road trip. I see them both once a month for quality time  "
How do you ensure equal time? In terms of availability. I suppose it’s easier to split time two ways but what if you meet more than two people |
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"Today I’m asking-
How do you manage your time?
So I mean:
a) What do you use? Shared calendars? Well calendars? Diaries? Online calendars?
And
b) Do you prioritise some people to spend more of your time with over others? Of course partners may get more time but what about amongst partners? Or amongst those who aren’t? And how do you decide? "
I love a shared calendar: I wouldn't be without one ❤️ My nesting partner and I kind of live by ours. But my other partner and I just agree all our activities in person.
I don't prioritise anyone or any time, it's all very organic and based on communication. My nesting partner and I had a conversation last week about how we haven't had a lot of quality time with each other recently, so we sat down and reviewed the trusty shared calendar to plan some  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Today I’m asking-
How do you manage your time?
So I mean:
a) What do you use? Shared calendars? Well calendars? Diaries? Online calendars?
And
b) Do you prioritise some people to spend more of your time with over others? Of course partners may get more time but what about amongst partners? Or amongst those who aren’t? And how do you decide? "
a.) Conversation. I have a shared calendar with one but we don't really use it much. It's the same one I use for work and aside from that the only stuff that gets added is club activity and holidays.
b.) It's not a case of prioritisation, more a simple case of geography, work and finances! One lives significantly closer than the other so it's natural I see them more. But that doesn't mean I value, love or want to see more of one than the other. It's just the way 'life' stuff happens 🤷♂️. In a perfect world I guess things would more equal. But life is never perfect. Plus one has another partner and one doesn't. ENM relationships are always going to be different dependent on everyone involved's individual work/personal lives and commitments. |
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No shared calendars for me. I have standard days of the week available based on usual schedules, with flexibility if there's an event or something. One is just an as and when with their incredibly limited availability, but there's only once I've had to ask someone if it's okay to postpone a plan with them as there's usually plenty of notice and I don't often make solid plans too far ahead of time.
I find sharing too much detail of what I'm up to with other people a bit intrusive. My partners are aware of each other and that I care for each one of them 💜 |
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I don’t try and ensure equal time that doesn’t make any sense to me, each relationship is very different.
I think it’s important to agree to see people at the frequency that works for them as well so that one of you is not always pestering the other for a date. This usually happens organically doesn’t it? You fall into a weekly or monthly or that person you see a couple of times a year etc
And then be consistent - don’t be full on initially and then change it to 4 times a year or something unless that’s what you both agree.
I just use my phone calendar and I would not share it as it’s personal for me only. |
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"Calenders and everyone gets equal time as I love a good road trip. I see them both once a month for quality time
How do you ensure equal time? In terms of availability. I suppose it’s easier to split time two ways but what if you meet more than two people"
They both are my priority time wise. Socials and other events come second and get slotted in when I am free |
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Badly really, there's no other way to put it. It's one of the biggest impacts my ADHD has on my life.
It limits how many partners/friends I can have in my life. And those who are have to be ok with me going AWOL etc, or not mind being proactive about organising, reminding me etc. |
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I use my phone calendar.
I used to use a shared calendar but that only works if you both update it.
I’m not trying to balance time as that’s impossible and is counterintuitive as different relationships have different time needs. To me it’s about equity and intentional time |
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"I use my phone calendar.
I used to use a shared calendar but that only works if you both update it.
I’m not trying to balance time as that’s impossible and is counterintuitive as different relationships have different time needs. To me it’s about equity and intentional time"
We've tried, and failed on multiple attempts to use shared calendars, they just don't work for some reason. They'd help us soo much in general life too but they never update 🤷🏻 |
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Some people rarely overcomplicate things…
You have some friends you have some partners you have family maybe some of you have jobs as well, you heard of a Calendar.? Really handy. Heard of a shared Calendar, worst idea ever. I really don’t wanna know when Bambi’s meeting her brother-in-law for a Greggs sausage roll |
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