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*** Somebody Help *** Emergency ***
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OK quick, somebody help me...
I've made it to work, bright and breezy, got set up, cleared some emails and made a brew. Have come to the toilet as is customary ("always go on company time; better to be paid to shit than not"!)
AND THERES NO F*£%ING BOG-ROLL 😵
...Third floor, trap one, come pass some under the door eh?! |
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"OK quick, somebody help me...
I've made it to work, bright and breezy, got set up, cleared some emails and made a brew. Have come to the toilet as is customary ("always go on company time; better to be paid to shit than not"!)
AND THERES NO F*£%ING BOG-ROLL 😵
...Third floor, trap one, come pass some under the door eh?!"
Just use your hanky and then rinse it in the basin  |
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"You didn't check for loo roll before you sat down? Rookie error.
Just gonna have to duck walk to the next cubicle. Please wait till someone can film it though 😂"
the voice of experience I can tell! 😊 |
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"You didn't check for loo roll before you sat down? Rookie error.
Just gonna have to duck walk to the next cubicle. Please wait till someone can film it though 😂
the voice of experience I can tell! 😊"
Now you know why girls go to the loo in groups |
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By *lynJMan 21 weeks ago
Morden |
"Just use your hanky and then rinse it in the basin
I can't. That's my wank-rag, I'm not prepared to taint it. I've had it years, helped me through troubled times that has."
Use the tail of your shirt as an alternative. |
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"OK quick, somebody help me...
I've made it to work, bright and breezy, got set up, cleared some emails and made a brew. Have come to the toilet as is customary ("always go on company time; better to be paid to shit than not"!)
AND THERES NO F*£%ING BOG-ROLL 😵
...Third floor, trap one, come pass some under the door eh?!"
Use your socks 🤣🤣🤣 |
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"OK quick, somebody help me...
I've made it to work, bright and breezy, got set up, cleared some emails and made a brew. Have come to the toilet as is customary ("always go on company time; better to be paid to shit than not"!)
AND THERES NO F*£%ING BOG-ROLL 😵
...Third floor, trap one, come pass some under the door eh?!
Just use your hanky and then rinse it in the basin "
I'd rather Hanky wasn't used....  |
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"Just use your hanky and then rinse it in the basin
I can't. That's my wank-rag, I'm not prepared to taint it. I've had it years, helped me through troubled times that has.
😯"
🤣🤣🤣 it's OK, not talking about you! You can help me through a whole new load of troubled times if you like! |
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"Just use your hanky and then rinse it in the basin
I can't. That's my wank-rag, I'm not prepared to taint it. I've had it years, helped me through troubled times that has.
😯
🤣🤣🤣 it's OK, not talking about you! You can help me through a whole new load of troubled times if you like!"
Hmm.... 🤔 |
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Tweezy your fingers up to the carboard roll ..... rip it in half to get it off the holder .......
Flatten it and use it to scrape your clinkers off.
Never NEVER ever go to a public loo without some kitchen roll in your pocket. |
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Oh dear, rookie mistake that one.
You have to do the shit checklist before even parking your bum.
Toilet paper, ✔️
Reading material / phone, ✔️
Door locked (or make sure you are the only one in the whole bathroom if using shared toilets), ✔️
Put some toilet paper down the loo to stop the plop sound incase anyone walks in mid poop!, ✔️
Only then can one release said poop x
Mrs x |
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"I'M ALIVE!
...Just waited for the battery to die on the phone. Everything had dried up by then, just picked it all off and carried on with my day.
Won't lie; spin class was uncomfortable tonight 😵"
I was going to suggest flushing then dipping your bum into the bowl.
I can't do that, unfortunately, as my bum is too big. |
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"I'M ALIVE!
...Just waited for the battery to die on the phone. Everything had dried up by then, just picked it all off and carried on with my day.
Won't lie; spin class was uncomfortable tonight 😵"
Jesus... my knickers are damper than Blackpool in mid January right now 🥵 |
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Reminds of a joke... A bear and a rabbit are in the woods, bear says to the rabbit..."when you have a shit, does it stick to your fur"?? Rabbit says..."no, why"?... Bear doesn't say anything, just picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse!🤣🤣🤣 |
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"I'M ALIVE!
...Just waited for the battery to die on the phone. Everything had dried up by then, just picked it all off and carried on with my day.
Won't lie; spin class was uncomfortable tonight 😵"
I was going to suggest the dog wipe. Walk along on your hands dragging your arse across the carpet tiles. Bonus points if you just deadeye stare at someone while you do it. |
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"I got caught out in a pub toilet once. So I rang the bar and asked them to send some though to me.
Mr
#LEGEND 🫵"
To be fair the bar maid who come into the gents to hand me it felt like the real Legend. |
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"Reminds of a joke... A bear and a rabbit are in the woods, bear says to the rabbit..."when you have a shit, does it stick to your fur"?? Rabbit says..."no, why"?... Bear doesn't say anything, just picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse!🤣🤣🤣"
Reminds me of another joke.
Two polar bears are walking through the arctic. One starts groaning uncomfortably prompting the other to ask what is wrong. The first polar replies "Put it this way...if we don't find a wood soon I'm going to fucking shit myself!" |
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"Firing up the moped. Can you hang on for five hours?
83% left on the phone... should be OK!"
Presumably you at least had the mobile number or email address of someone there being of a suitable gender to enter the toilets?
You should have just taken a picture of the empty roll holder, a picture of your brown trout then sent both pictures to them. |
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"Reminds me of another joke.
Two polar bears are walking through the arctic. One starts groaning uncomfortably prompting the other to ask what is wrong. The first polar replies "Put it this way...if we don't find a wood soon I'm going to fucking shit myself!""
🤣🤣🤣 |
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"Firing up the moped. Can you hang on for five hours?
83% left on the phone... should be OK!
Presumably you at least had the mobile number or email address of someone there being of a suitable gender to enter the toilets?
You should have just taken a picture of the empty roll holder, a picture of your brown trout then sent both pictures to them."
That has to be the most sensible, practical and logical solution to the conundrum... Where the hell were you when I needed you 16 hours earlier!? |
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"Dai, I WAS in Manchester earlier. But I kinda forgot to offer help. Sorry
lost for words! 🥺
I shouldn't forsake a fellow Welshman really, should I?! "
Absolutely not! I think I can forgive you, but it's going to be tough! 😉🏴😘 |
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