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I've decided to become a porn star
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 19 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
"
1. Starch.
2. Anything you like, they'll dub over you anyway.
3. Nooo. You should ululate like a Bedouin tribesman!
You've got a bright future.
 |
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"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
"
1.don't worry about remaining erect all the time most actors on do short clips that are edited into looooong sessions.
2. Don't worry about any lines, I doubt youll be talking. All action, no talking.
3. Squeal like a pig!! Aim for the eyes!!! They love that!! |
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By *aizyWoman 19 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
"
1. Use 2 lollipop sticks as splints.
2. Yeah, Baby.
3. Yes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"1) polyfilla
2) quote your favourite film lines. Unless it’s Love Actually. That would be embarrassing.
3) try yelling yeee-hawwwww. Be original."
Number 3 works if it's a western parady porno. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
1. Starch.
2. Anything you like, they'll dub over you anyway.
3. Nooo. You should ululate like a Bedouin tribesman!
You've got a bright future.
"
I'm gonna be a star. A Porn star. |
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1. CGI. You've now got a ten inch dick that stays harder than Ronnie Pickering.
2. Great excuse for endless retakes.
3. This will also be added in post production. A mix of someone treading on logo and bonobo yawns usually works. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"1) tie a splint to it
2) eat pussy
3) the louder the better and with a serious face. 🕺🏻"
Damn, I'd probably have a giggling face. Perhaps I'm not cut out for this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"1. CGI. You've now got a ten inch dick that stays harder than Ronnie Pickering.
2. Great excuse for endless retakes.
3. This will also be added in post production. A mix of someone treading on logo and bonobo yawns usually works."
So what your saying is, most of it is fabricated and not what actually happened..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵"
I can meet with you tomorrow? |
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow? "
I do disgusted well   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well "
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask? |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 19 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask? "
We've reached Peak Porn! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!"
I haven't really got such a mask. It's just the way my nose scrunches up a bit while saying. "Oh, Ah ,,,, Ahhhhh wee Madam,...." (and then spilling a half teaspoon of sperm on her boobs) |
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!
I haven't really got such a mask. It's just the way my nose scrunches up a bit while saying. "Oh, Ah ,,,, Ahhhhh wee Madam,...." (and then spilling a half teaspoon of sperm on her boobs) "
🤣🤣🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!"
Peaks Porn? Did someone call? 🤣🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!
I haven't really got such a mask. It's just the way my nose scrunches up a bit while saying. "Oh, Ah ,,,, Ahhhhh wee Madam,...." (and then spilling a half teaspoon of sperm on her boobs)
🤣🤣🤣 "
Do you keep a teaspoon close to hand to measure? .... Only I fibbed a tad. Might need 10 tablespoons. |
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By *tr8MrEMan 19 weeks ago
somewhere near Sheffield |
"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming - bamboo scaffolding erected by dwarfs
2) What do I say if I forget my lines - anything you think sounds German
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot - no, squeal like Joe Pasquale stunning is toe
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!
Peaks Porn? Did someone call? 🤣🤣"
No. Nobody has called you. Put em' away. |
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!
I haven't really got such a mask. It's just the way my nose scrunches up a bit while saying. "Oh, Ah ,,,, Ahhhhh wee Madam,...." (and then spilling a half teaspoon of sperm on her boobs)
🤣🤣🤣
Do you keep a teaspoon close to hand to measure? .... Only I fibbed a tad. Might need 10 tablespoons. "
Teaspoons are always on hand to measure volume 🧐 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"I actually prefer when the man makes a noise like a squealing piglet as he's cumming half a tea spoon of claggy jizz over a disgusted looking lady's tits and she makes fake moaning noises 🥵
I can meet with you tomorrow?
I do disgusted well
Is it ok if I wear my pig mask?
We've reached Peak Porn!
I haven't really got such a mask. It's just the way my nose scrunches up a bit while saying. "Oh, Ah ,,,, Ahhhhh wee Madam,...." (and then spilling a half teaspoon of sperm on her boobs)
🤣🤣🤣
Do you keep a teaspoon close to hand to measure? .... Only I fibbed a tad. Might need 10 tablespoons.
Teaspoons are always on hand to measure volume 🧐"
Understood. I'll stick to the script and piggy squeal a tiny drop. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I just a need a bit of advice.
1) How do I remain erect over hours of filming
2) What do I say if I forget my lines
3) Should I make masculine grunty noises when delivering the money shot
"
1. Use flour and water as lube. It makes glue after all.
2. Just ad lib. Shopping lists. Talk about the weather. Make comments about a crack in the ceiling. (That's what women do, right......?🤔)
3. Work your way through advert tag lines. Nothing sexier than screaming 'bang, and the dirt is gone' or 'you've been tangoed' whilst spaffing your baby gravy over a woman. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"
3. Work your way through advert tag lines. Nothing sexier than screaming 'bang, and the dirt is gone' or 'you've been tangoed' whilst spaffing your baby gravy over a woman. "
"Strongbow always hit the mark?  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 19 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
3. Work your way through advert tag lines. Nothing sexier than screaming 'bang, and the dirt is gone' or 'you've been tangoed' whilst spaffing your baby gravy over a woman.
"Strongbow always hit the mark? "
Very 80's. 👌
Might not appeal to a younger audience though.....😇😇😂😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 weeks ago
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"
3. Work your way through advert tag lines. Nothing sexier than screaming 'bang, and the dirt is gone' or 'you've been tangoed' whilst spaffing your baby gravy over a woman.
"Strongbow always hit the mark?
Very 80's. 👌
Might not appeal to a younger audience though.....😇😇😂😂"
'All because the lady loves milk Tray' .... Actually that's really 80's.... And I don't look anything like as in shape as the guy in that advert. |
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