Where do I start. There must be a lot of us, at any age, male and female married or partnered where sex becomes a chore or non existent for whatever reasons. For those lucky ones, enjoy and continue your beautiful relationship and greater still be able to understand and share with others. Of course , there's more to life than sex but that's only natural human desire. Such is life. |
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I understand entirely, from 20 years of personal experience.
You will get a lot of negative comments here, mainly from people who do not know of this on a personal level.
Ignore them and plot your own course. |
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"I understand entirely, from 20 years of personal experience.
You will get a lot of negative comments here, mainly from people who do not know of this on a personal level….
"
Sure. I’ll be positive.
When your relationship breaks down and it’s over, and the one who’s been sheared on spend years trying to recover and build enough trust for someone again, they can start a new chapter and be a bit wiser, and ultimately happier with someone who isn’t cheating behind there back.
There’s nothing positive about deceiving your partner, it actualy quite sad.
😞 |
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We should all do our best to live a fulfilling life without hurting others on purpose.
What should the man do whose wife does not want sex. There is no easy answer. He could accept a sexless marriage, he will not be happy (maybe he will kill himself).
He could decide to have an affair, this would be extremely hurtful and on both sides a lot of pain.
He could get a divorce.
They could both talk and review the best option for both.
Perfect marriage apart from sex - it would be a shame to divorce - if she accepts that he has permission to gain some pleasure with others (this goes some way to understanding on both sides) I expect in this case neither will be 100% happy, he also craves the desire from his wife, but at this time in her life she probably has none.
Best case scenario is to talk it through if your wife has no interest in fulfilling your needs or at least trying to understand that you. Then does she really love you, if she doesn’t understand that you can not control your need for intimacy and sex and it drives you mad. If she really can accept that you need to sort it out yourself then what type of wife is she.
I would suggest that you write to each other rather than talking and in the chat you need to agree to listen and respect each other without arguing. You should not feel the need to justify on either side what the other has written, mainly because it’s how you feel and whether you like it or not that’s how it is.
My wife knows that I need sex constantly and she knows that it’s not my fault. She likes it when we meet people but she’s also a bit stand off ish sometimes, at the moment she lost some desire … and that annoys her…. She’s fine with me meeting alone… she’s not interested in needing or wanting details… she doesn’t want me to have an affair …. She also wants us to meet again with couples and singles in 6 months or a years time who knows….
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One scenario you all seem to overlook.
A loving, very long marriage, where the wife, through ill health, not through choice, is unable to satisfy that one, trivial, need.
That's not something that can be talked through. If you love her, and I did, you stay and do your best for her. You don't bring it up and diminish her sense of self with your petty selfish urges.
If you can discreetly and safely scratch that one particular itch, though I didn't, then I understand.
My wife once said to me "if you ever do, just make sure I never find out". I was never sure if she was in earnest, but it didn't matter.
So before you presume to advise me, or anyone like me, walk a mile in my shoes.
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes. |
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"Where do I start. There must be a lot of us, at any age, male and female married or partnered where sex becomes a chore or non existent for whatever reasons. For those lucky ones, enjoy and continue your beautiful relationship and greater still be able to understand and share with others. Of course , there's more to life than sex but that's only natural human desire. Such is life. "
ever considered your wife maybe experiencing the menopause it’s hard for any woman to go through but there is medication out there for her if she’s not already on it have a chat with her OP & be understanding towards her  |
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Just do you op. Only you can weigh up the consequences to value.
Some people are fine cheating and never get found out and all is well. Equally others tin tack the relationship as they deserve more to themselves and we’ll incompatibility. Others prob talk and try work out a deal. Life is all about deals ultimately one way or another |
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"One scenario you all seem to overlook.
A loving, very long marriage, where the wife, through ill health, not through choice, is unable to satisfy that one, trivial, need.
That's not something that can be talked through. If you love her, and I did, you stay and do your best for her. You don't bring it up and diminish her sense of self with your petty selfish urges.
If you can discreetly and safely scratch that one particular itch, though I didn't, then I understand.
My wife once said to me "if you ever do, just make sure I never find out". I was never sure if she was in earnest, but it didn't matter.
So before you presume to advise me, or anyone like me, walk a mile in my shoes.
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes."
Well said. I would (and have) own my choices or decisions though and wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation or opinions from others. I think perhaps that’s what the people who post these type of threads are doing and they are never going to hear what they are looking to hear by doing that. Nobody knows anyone’s situation and like I’ve always said it really isn’t black or white. Only you can decide what to do. Nobody else. |
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"One scenario you all seem to overlook.
A loving, very long marriage, where the wife, through ill health, not through choice, is unable to satisfy that one, trivial, need.
That's not something that can be talked through. If you love her, and I did, you stay and do your best for her. You don't bring it up and diminish her sense of self with your petty selfish urges.
If you can discreetly and safely scratch that one particular itch, though I didn't, then I understand.
My wife once said to me "if you ever do, just make sure I never find out". I was never sure if she was in earnest, but it didn't matter.
So before you presume to advise me, or anyone like me, walk a mile in my shoes.
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes.
Well said. I would (and have) own my choices or decisions though and wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation or opinions from others. I think perhaps that’s what the people who post these type of threads are doing and they are never going to hear what they are looking to hear by doing that. Nobody knows anyone’s situation and like I’ve always said it really isn’t black or white. Only you can decide what to do. Nobody else. "
👆🏼👌🏼💯 |
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"One scenario you all seem to overlook.
A loving, very long marriage, where the wife, through ill health, not through choice, is unable to satisfy that one, trivial, need.
That's not something that can be talked through. If you love her, and I did, you stay and do your best for her. You don't bring it up and diminish her sense of self with your petty selfish urges.
If you can discreetly and safely scratch that one particular itch, though I didn't, then I understand.
My wife once said to me "if you ever do, just make sure I never find out". I was never sure if she was in earnest, but it didn't matter.
So before you presume to advise me, or anyone like me, walk a mile in my shoes.
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes.
Well said. I would (and have) own my choices or decisions though and wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation or opinions from others. I think perhaps that’s what the people who post these type of threads are doing and they are never going to hear what they are looking to hear by doing that. Nobody knows anyone’s situation and like I’ve always said it really isn’t black or white. Only you can decide what to do. Nobody else.
👆🏼👌🏼💯"
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"One scenario you all seem to overlook.
A loving, very long marriage, where the wife, through ill health, not through choice, is unable to satisfy that one, trivial, need.
That's not something that can be talked through. If you love her, and I did, you stay and do your best for her. You don't bring it up and diminish her sense of self with your petty selfish urges.
If you can discreetly and safely scratch that one particular itch, though I didn't, then I understand.
My wife once said to me "if you ever do, just make sure I never find out". I was never sure if she was in earnest, but it didn't matter.
So before you presume to advise me, or anyone like me, walk a mile in my shoes.
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes."
Potentially this, as it is just as valid as the very first comment after the OP.
With the exception that this is very specific, and in the other 99% of cases the first comment post is the only mature and none selfish answer. |
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"One scenario you all seem to overlook.
…..
Then carry on walking. Keep the shoes.
We overlook
That thought because the opening post didn’t say that, maybe you overlooked that part. "
Actually no, I didn't. The original post said "for whatever reasons".
I just pointed out that there are some reasons that come with more grey areas than others.
Don't judge, just be happy it isn't you. |
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By *a LunaWoman 6 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
I don’t know how I would react if I were ever in a relationship with someone I loved and fancied and the sex dwindled to bought, for whatever reason.
I think I’d be hurt and frustrated. But could I hurt that person by going behind their back? I don’t know. I’d like to think not, but who knows.
That said, not everybody cheats because of issues with their partner (and I’m sure in a lot of cases if we were to ask the other party if they thought their relationship had enough sex - would they say yes?) they do it for the thrill, the excitement, the naughtiness of it all.
What I can comment on, is that being cheated on (or in my case, discovering someone was trying to cheat on me) it absolutely destroys your trust. Trying to make a go of a relationship after that kind of betrayal is the stuff of Superheroes.
They stay up late to watch a film - you wonder if they’re sexting someone?
They pop to the shop to get some bits in - are they going to meet up with someone?
It makes you miserable. It makes you anxious. It can make you doubt yourself. It can even make you ill.
So yes, whilst some folk “have no choice” to cheat, a bloody great lot of folk DO have a choice and they do it anyway.
So yeah. Everyone has their own personal life experiences that cloud their judgement, so maybe forgive those who may not want to walk in those shoes.
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"I don’t know how I would react if I were ever in a relationship with someone I loved and fancied and the sex dwindled to bought, for whatever reason.
I think I’d be hurt and frustrated. But could I hurt that person by going behind their back? I don’t know. I’d like to think not, but who knows.
That said, not everybody cheats because of issues with their partner (and I’m sure in a lot of cases if we were to ask the other party if they thought their relationship had enough sex - would they say yes?) they do it for the thrill, the excitement, the naughtiness of it all.
What I can comment on, is that being cheated on (or in my case, discovering someone was trying to cheat on me) it absolutely destroys your trust. Trying to make a go of a relationship after that kind of betrayal is the stuff of Superheroes.
They stay up late to watch a film - you wonder if they’re sexting someone?
They pop to the shop to get some bits in - are they going to meet up with someone?
It makes you miserable. It makes you anxious. It can make you doubt yourself. It can even make you ill.
So yes, whilst some folk “have no choice” to cheat, a bloody great lot of folk DO have a choice and they do it anyway.
So yeah. Everyone has their own personal life experiences that cloud their judgement, so maybe forgive those who may not want to walk in those shoes.
"
A spot on assessment |
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Myself and Sean have been together for almost 17 years, in that time our sex life has had ups and downs which I think is natural.
I take antidepressants which can drastically affect my interest in sex.
We have sometimes gone months without me wanting any sexual contact at all.
Luckily, Sean has always understood me and although he has never made me feel guilty, I have felt guilt myself.
If I was to find out he had created a profile on a site like this behind my back - I would be absolutely devastated and I honestly don’t think I could ever trust him again, our relationship would be over
Donna |
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By *amtantraMan 3 weeks ago
Somewhere in Kerry, Waterford, Dublin |
"Where do I start. There must be a lot of us, at any age, male and female married or partnered where sex becomes a chore or non existent for whatever reasons. For those lucky ones, enjoy and continue your beautiful relationship and greater still be able to understand and share with others. Of course , there's more to life than sex but that's only natural human desire. Such is life. "
I am sure you've tried some form of remediation. I wouldn't worry much about what others think. Live your life the way you want and stand by it. |
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"Where do I start. There must be a lot of us, at any age, male and female married or partnered where sex becomes a chore or non existent for whatever reasons. For those lucky ones, enjoy and continue your beautiful relationship and greater still be able to understand and share with others. Of course , there's more to life than sex but that's only natural human desire. Such is life. "
Well you've had your profile for over a year,so it must have been going on for some time.
So saying it's a sexless marriage is just really an excuse to cheat yes? |
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Ffs
The one word that runs through all of these threads is pity.
Self-pity...
Pitiful...
You get my drift.
Cheaters need to grow tf up and 'sh1t or get off the pot'.
Zero sympathy for people with no spine.
If your relationship truly matters to you then you work with what you've got and you wank your lil wang off.
If your horn is worth more to you than the person you claim to love then divorce and see how much you score in reallife.
I'm pretty sure the reality of dating would be more depressing than living as you are with a loving partner 🫡 |
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Hey OP you left out that you are married on your profile.
You should fix that so people can make informed choices.
Your wife for example deserves to know you are actively trying to cheat on her and she can make a decision to stay with you or let you play with her consent. |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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Have a conversation with your wife. Or do what I did, end the marriage and then you can do what you want and with whom you want without cheating or lying.
Oh and my kids ate way happier living with parents who are happy and not together |
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