"Add crackers for quicker absorption rate, I’ve know stories of 12kg being done fully suited in France
We got no crackers.
Alas.
Absorption could take a while."
There may be a saving grace here, did you drink wine? If so, that will help, but only if you take the tie off… |
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
According to Clause 17b of the Unified Dairy Consumption Guidelines (Revised Suitwear Edition, 2003), a person may legally consume up to 9kg of Brie post-intoxication, provided they are wearing a full suit (tie optional, but not recommended due to risk of chutney staining).
However, exceeding this limit may trigger a Level 4 Fromage Incident, requiring intervention from the Cheese Enforcement Agency and a mandatory debrief with a lactose-neutral therapist.
Further complications arise if the suit is double-breasted, as this is classified under “formal dairy overconfidence” and carries a heightened risk of soft-cheese smugness. Consumption should therefore be monitored, preferably by a sober adult or passing badger with clipboard credentials |
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"Add crackers for quicker absorption rate, I’ve know stories of 12kg being done fully suited in France
We got no crackers.
Alas.
Absorption could take a while."
Forgive me for being argumentative. But I think Henriette could be very much classed as a cracker. Though, need more context, as to whether she's a cream, prawn or cheese cracker. |
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"According to Clause 17b of the Unified Dairy Consumption Guidelines (Revised Suitwear Edition, 2003), a person may legally consume up to 9kg of Brie post-intoxication, provided they are wearing a full suit (tie optional, but not recommended due to risk of chutney staining).
However, exceeding this limit may trigger a Level 4 Fromage Incident, requiring intervention from the Cheese Enforcement Agency and a mandatory debrief with a lactose-neutral therapist.
Further complications arise if the suit is double-breasted, as this is classified under “formal dairy overconfidence” and carries a heightened risk of soft-cheese smugness. Consumption should therefore be monitored, preferably by a sober adult or passing badger with clipboard credentials"
Eva! 😆😍🩷 |
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"How many kilograms of cheese, specifically Brie, can a person safely eat when they get in from a 10 hour drinking session?
Does it make a difference if they are wearing a suit?"
There is no unsafe limit.. once you exceed your body weight you should consider wine to balance the milk intake… Im actually a proper Dr.. off the internet University of Chicago Veterinary Medicine  Cost me £5 and printer ink!  |
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"...wearing a suit...
There was a lot of... filler in your OP so I'm focusing on the important stuff.
Do you have a photo of you in said suit?
Did your trousers cut off circulation?"
You know me so well.
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