FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Honest opinion please...
Honest opinion please...
Jump to: Newest in thread
About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
Nope. My kids who are considerably older (6 and 11) don't have TVs in their rooms. Bedrooms are for sleeping in. If they want to watch the TV it's downstairs where I can monitor what they are watching. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Children don't need TVs in their roomss especially when the current issues for kids is that they don't socialise enough! Plus if you've already said no, he shouldn't do anything like that without both of you agreeing to it. I'd be raging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thanks everyone.
I know they have a tv in their room at his house because apparently her 3 year old daughter needs to go to bed at 6 to watch a DVD to calm down or she will never go to sleep! So they watch a DVD together before bed.
I just don't see the need at all. If he wants to stick a DVD on before bed we put it on in the living room and watch it together!
Besides I like any excuse to watch 'wreck it Ralph' lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No you're not. TV time at his age is family time not sit in your room alone time. Watching children's shows together is still interaction time "
I quite agree. My daughter is a teenager now and she has a tv in her room. However, we still love watching tv as a family, especially films on Netflix. This also ensures a good dose of family time most days.
When she was little, we'd sit with her and God knows how many hours I spent watching the Tweenies!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is from a childless person so...
I have seen friends put TV's in the children's bedrooms at quite a young age, maybe so they don't have to watch toy story on a never ending loop, putting them on in the early evening before bedtime, when some parents are reading bedtime stories others are putting on a DVD and leaving them to it. As they get a little older it'll be for a Xbox/PlayStation. So it could be seen as lazy parenting, freeing up the main TV for EastEnders etc. Once they are old enough to operate it themselves they will be putting it on when they should be sleeping.
Put it on a wall bracket out of reach so you can decide when it goes on or off.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My lad is 7 and im having the chat with him about not having one in his room. It is wrong of him to have got the tv, but I can also see why he has.
As a parent not always there I sometimes just want to get something extra special. It is tough not being there making day to day decisions and being totally involved. We tend to get round this by going halves on big gifts as then he knows it from both of us.
Maybe a compromise of putting it in the kitchen until they are older will help? Or failing that only let them watch it when they wake up ultra early on a weekend. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago
Neath |
My 3 year old has a tv/dvd and a wii (for netflix) in her room 
Just saves arguments if the three of them want to watch different things she can go to her room and watch what she wants or if they are hogging the downstairs tv playing Fifa or whatever |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i think 3 is a bit too young too, could you not let him have the telly in his room and moniter what he watches, so he doesnt watch anything unsuitable?
i know what its like because my son was the only grandchild, my older brother and sister lived with my parents and they used to buy things for my son without discussing it with me first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My 3 year old has a tv/dvd and a wii (for netflix) in her room
Just saves arguments if the three of them want to watch different things she can go to her room and watch what she wants or if they are hogging the downstairs tv playing Fifa or whatever "
That I can understand x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
No you aren't. mine didn't have tvs till they were ten even though my daughter kicked off because her brother got his first he was the older made her wait. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe we are more of the mindset of your ex then ... Our six year old had a TV / dvd in his room from 3 , only watched dvds until he was 5 though .
"
I know everyone is different but I told him I didn't want one in his room. He can watch what he likes in the living room it doesn't bother me. I have friends with kids who have the tv in their room and it works for them, it's more that when he said about buying one I told him to save his money as it wouldn't get used and now he's got it anyway!
I don't moan at him for letting them watch tv at his house in the bedroom as that's his day. He should respect my decisions in my house like I do his. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
ouch
TV in the bedroom is just bad news . You just teach you child that conversation and family time are not important . We still sit to the table and eat together(its still just th 2 of us ) and no tele on and will never have one in the bedroom as its to easy to kill the art of conversation Next he will want a play xbox thing linked to it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its a good way of keeping the kids quiet in there room "
I don't need to keep him quiet in his room. He's a toddler, he's noisy and I love it. All to soon he will be a teenager and want to be on his own in his room listening to music etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My 3 year old has a tv/dvd and a wii (for netflix) in her room
Just saves arguments if the three of them want to watch different things she can go to her room and watch what she wants or if they are hogging the downstairs tv playing Fifa or whatever
That I can understand x"
me too. Older children who want to do different things at the same time often have a tv in their room. It's about not letting them live in there and forgetting to be a family |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
no, kids shouldnt have tvs in their rooms.
they will sit up all night watching it.
V's kids havent got one, they have their own tv in the dining room that they have their xstation or playbox or whatever on, so no need. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago
Neath |
"no, kids shouldnt have tvs in their rooms.
they will sit up all night watching it.
V's kids havent got one, they have their own tv in the dining room that they have their xstation or playbox or whatever on, so no need."
My 3 have never turned theirs on during the night. Maybe im just lucky |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable??
Nope. My kids who are considerably older (6 and 11) don't have TVs in their rooms. Bedrooms are for sleeping in. If they want to watch the TV it's downstairs where I can monitor what they are watching."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It sounds like he is using your child as a manipulative device to wield power. I would stick to my guns- I may allow that tv in public rooms, but how you manage your home is totally up to you. Sounds like youre well rid of him, for disrespecting your _iews, and using your child as a way to stir problems. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
no i dont think your being unreasonable ..
He ll be up all night watching tv ,when he thinks your sleeping ,and the shit thats on tv now , well , i refuse to watch it , its brain washing tripe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It sounds like he is using your child as a manipulative device to wield power. I would stick to my guns- I may allow that tv in public rooms, but how you manage your home is totally up to you. Sounds like youre well rid of him, for disrespecting your _iews, and using your child as a way to stir problems."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wow. You are 100% right in my opinion. I have a three year old and there is no way he is getting a tv in his room.
In fact I'd be surprised if I let him have one for some time yet. I still like to know what he watches and know when and how much he watches.
I didn't have a TV in my bedroom till I was late teen and living in shared accommodation. Didn't do me any harm.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Too harsh, let the lil fella have his TV he can watch his Thomas the Tank dvd's without interruption "
Like I said further up I have no problem with him having whatever he wants on tv in the living room while he's playing. Half the time he asks for a DVD on then doesn't even watch it. Lol. But it stays on in the background while he's playin with his toys. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Too harsh, let the lil fella have his TV he can watch his Thomas the Tank dvd's without interruption
Like I said further up I have no problem with him having whatever he wants on tv in the living room while he's playing. Half the time he asks for a DVD on then doesn't even watch it. Lol. But it stays on in the background while he's playin with his toys. "
Only pulling ya leg, do what you thinks best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't have any kids but i think 3 is way too young. You don't want him becoming a 'TV kid' with square eyes and no interests. Plus, at that age, you have to be sure of what they are watching. Having said this, i think the worst part of what's happened is your ex disregarding your wishes and using your kid to 'point score'.
Disconnect the TV in his room and kick your ex where it hurts! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My son is 6 and has a tv/dvd combi in his room, he watches a DVD every night when he goes to bed and has done from a young age, he is in a good routine and sleeps sound through the night, I don't see it's a problem if you set limits for them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your ex should have respect your wishes. Im sure if you had wanted a tv in your sons bedroom ..you would have bought one ...sounds like hes trying to score one over you by doing this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
No you are not at all. shezz 3 years with a tv/dvd in there room why? ask him if he going to site and what TV with him then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think 3 is too young. Mine is 8 and no tv. My 17 year old has only had one for a year and can only watch dvds on it. Tv is too influential and pretty bad if they wake at 1am and turn it on.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aydee65Man
over a year ago
Near Merthyr |
The focus now should be getting kids OUT of their rooms not encouraging them to stay in. The obesity problem amongst youngsters today is due mainly to the computer age whereby kids txt/facebook/kik their friends even though they only live a few doors away. I personally would not allow a TV into a childs bedroom at such a young age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My lad is now 11. He's at the age now where "all my mates have them in their room so why can't I?" Quite simply - I like to keep an eye on what he's doing (despite the xbox and minecraft doing my nut in a lot of the time) plus I actually like to see my son out of the bedroom not holed up in there as much as possible.
Would he have had one at 3, not a chance.
Your ex knows your _iews and as it is your house your rules apply. He is being disrespectful and as for calling you a miserable fucker it sounds like the reason he's your ex.
Stick to your guns and don't worry about your 3 yr old getting upset when you put your foot down about it, he's 3, he'll live. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
Its your house, your rules.
He should put the TV in his own house as he has every right to.
I dont have a problem with a 3 year old having a telly in their bedroom |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Three is a very young age to have a TV, there is no need as has already been pointed out. But at least if it is in your house, you can exercise an element of control over whether or not the child uses it. At worst, your ex has wasted his money, at best, as the child gets older, they already have the TV waiting for them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I believe you are in the right. Your little one is far too young. I have the same problem with my child's father. At 9 year old my child has every single games console, iPad, mobile phone on contract, anything they want basically. It totally annoys me and has created a monster. I make a point of buying traditional toys etc but they don't get touched. They're all still in the cellophane in the toy cupboard. To me some dads buy things to make up for not being around but to me spending quality time with them is much more previous than any iPad etc..
They should back up our wants and rules for them but rarely do.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hopefully he hasn't already mentioned to your son that daddy is getting him this for his birthday and he should return it to the store to get a refund. Disrespecting your wishes is unacceptable so no. Next thing will be a mobile phone when he is 6!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Interesting that so many who think it's wrong ,or don't have kids say they will be up all night watching it . And the two of us who have done it have no problems and the cchildren don't watch it all night !
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My kids are 11 and 14. never had a tv in their rooms (neither do I) we also dont have any computer consoles in the house either.
Tell a lie, I bought my youngest a portable dvd player for christmas. It gets took off him at lights out time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully he hasn't already mentioned to your son that daddy is getting him this for his birthday and he should return it to the store to get a refund. Disrespecting your wishes is unacceptable so no. Next thing will be a mobile phone when he is 6!! "
That could be the angle he's playing, nice daddy says have the TV, Mum says no. Causing friction through your child. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ingjayMan
over a year ago
exeter |
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
The only TV in my house is in my bedroom, not even got an aerial my kids don't watch /miss TV at all, at 3 years old there is a whole world of other things they could be amusing themselves with!! (I will admit they do occasionally watch netflix via Xbox, or a film on my phone) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The very best present I ever bought for my son was a personal cd player with earphones. He was about three years old.
( He was terrible at going to bed, and wouldnt go to sleep )
We bought a selection of story tapes and gentle music, and he thereafter loved going to bed, and invariably fell asleep still wearing his earphones within a few minutes.
Best few quid I ever spent.
But a telly is stimulation, not relaxation, and unsuitable for children at bedtime, in my opinion!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No, I still won't have a television in my bedroom and I am 42! Stick to your guns.
I would be a tad narked too."
As I posted on another thread, beds are for sleeping or shagging in. All other activities can be conducted elsewhere |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Three is a very young age to have a TV, there is no need as has already been pointed out. But at least if it is in your house, you can exercise an element of control over whether or not the child uses it. At worst, your ex has wasted his money, at best, as the child gets older, they already have the TV waiting for them."
If he has already told ur son he has got it might just confuse ur son by saying he now cant have it.
Personally I agree with comments above and think if u put the tv on a wall bracket to be used when u decide, just to have the option there for dvds on the odd ocasion or Iif he is ill etc Could b a reasonable rresolution.
However id have strong words woth his dad about buying stuff u clearly said u didnt want in ur house.
Devils advocat tho. He may have thought ur son would feel left out if the kids have tvs in their bedrooms at his house and your boy doesn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
My kids have T.V's in their rooms and it's not a problem, quiet the opposite if they want to watch different programs (boy 9, girl 6).
However, I would be peeved if anyone attempted to influence or control what is happening in my personal domain.
So my question would be, is it the T.V. or the action that is not good?
I need to add, or both? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
No. He is undermining your authority as a parent. He should have accepted what you thought best but perhaps tried to negotiate an appropriate age for it to happen, if ever. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My kids have T.V's in their rooms and it's not a problem, quiet the opposite if they want to watch different programs (boy 9, girl 6).
However, I would be peeved if anyone attempted to influence or control what is happening in my personal domain.
So my question would be, is it the T.V. or the action that is not good?
I need to add, or both?"
Both! lol, I made my _iew quite clear on the subject when he first suggested it a few weeks back. Now he's just done it to be a smart arse. And saying it on face time without running it by me first because he knew damn well I didn't want one here was way out of line!
No matter though, it'll get put in the cupboard and he can have it when i decide he should, always handy to have a spare in axes one breaks down!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's sad that some parents aren't able to deal with their kids without the need for bribery with tv.
My nephew and niece share a room and there is a tv in there buy I can count on one hand the number of times they have used it. Its used as a treat on the very occasional weekend when they can watch a DVD before bed.
Go say that a child HAS to watch a tv to settle is absolute rubbish. That's just learnt behaviour.
Even when my niece went through her really really terrible 2's recently she wasn't allowed to watch tv before bed. It would have been easy to just give in and put a DVD on to appease her but instead the adult took charge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Why would anyone want to shove a toddler in a separate room to watch TV! Far too many folk use TV as a 'baby minder' instead of an entertainment device. I think children that age and probably a few years older should watch TV with an adult not on their own. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You Are absolutely right and no you are not miserable I remember the last discussion you made on this. My feeling still stands. Bedroom for rest books reading .. toys in day ..Tv In the room you use so you can see and discuss the stuff he watches. .. You could use the rule of Tv using a timer of an hour or two..in the day , my opinion would be none after 6pm at all un plugged switched off .
Ex has made it awkward for you now. so if you have to relent against your wishes. just set up boundaries right from the word go.. t`v high on the wall and remove the remote . xx what a bastard !!!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"My kids have T.V's in their rooms and it's not a problem, quiet the opposite if they want to watch different programs (boy 9, girl 6).
However, I would be peeved if anyone attempted to influence or control what is happening in my personal domain.
So my question would be, is it the T.V. or the action that is not good?
I need to add, or both?
Both! lol, I made my _iew quite clear on the subject when he first suggested it a few weeks back. Now he's just done it to be a smart arse. And saying it on face time without running it by me first because he knew damn well I didn't want one here was way out of line!
No matter though, it'll get put in the cupboard and he can have it when i decide he should, always handy to have a spare in axes one breaks down! "
And tell him you sold it for something that was wanted
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The very best present I ever bought for my son was a personal cd player with earphones. He was about three years old.
( He was terrible at going to bed, and wouldnt go to sleep )
We bought a selection of story tapes and gentle music, and he thereafter loved going to bed, and invariably fell asleep still wearing his earphones within a few minutes.
Best few quid I ever spent.
But a telly is stimulation, not relaxation, and unsuitable for children at bedtime, in my opinion!
"
******************
My kids had the tape machines before walkman type.. we used to get new story tapes that came with a book each week,they were an absolute godsend. I still have them all in the loft. they could listen and read then drop off to sleep relaxed.. TV is far to much excitement only leads them to overload when they should be resting..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it is irrelevant whether its a good thing or a bad thing. It's also irrelevant whether 3 is too young or not.
This is your house and you have explained your rules, that is the bottom line. Those rules are reasonable.
This time its a television, what about next time? The way you handle this issue is likely to shape the next few years. It is easier to be firm and set the parameters with your ex while your lad is young. Imagine trying to say no when he's a teenager! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it is irrelevant whether its a good thing or a bad thing. It's also irrelevant whether 3 is too young or not.
This is your house and you have explained your rules, that is the bottom line. Those rules are reasonable.
This time its a television, what about next time? The way you handle this issue is likely to shape the next few years. It is easier to be firm and set the parameters with your ex while your lad is young. Imagine trying to say no when he's a teenager! "
Exactly this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it is irrelevant whether its a good thing or a bad thing. It's also irrelevant whether 3 is too young or not.
This is your house and you have explained your rules, that is the bottom line. Those rules are reasonable.
This time its a television, what about next time? The way you handle this issue is likely to shape the next few years. It is easier to be firm and set the parameters with your ex while your lad is young. Imagine trying to say no when he's a teenager! "
And thank you this was what annoyed me more tbh. I could easily put the tv on the walk, restrict it's use, know what he's watching, only use it for DVDs etc but the point was I told him I didn't want one here. And he sneakily did it anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it is irrelevant whether its a good thing or a bad thing. It's also irrelevant whether 3 is too young or not.
This is your house and you have explained your rules, that is the bottom line. Those rules are reasonable.
This time its a television, what about next time? The way you handle this issue is likely to shape the next few years. It is easier to be firm and set the parameters with your ex while your lad is young. Imagine trying to say no when he's a teenager! "
I think that is a great answer and very valid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had one when I lived with parents. When I moved into my own house didn't have one and had the best sleeps ever. 10 years on got one for Xmas for our room. The kids 9 and 6 want one but we say no. It's good on a weekend as they both get in with us and we watch a weekend morning program. Usually a Steve Backshall program or a movie. It's loads of fun. But wouldn't put one in their room as we wouldn't see them again. But that might not be a bad thing lol. But as others have said your house your rules and the dad should respect your rules. He might want to get a pressie he thinks is great but it's no good going behind your back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago
Telford/North West |
"About 2 months ago my ex suggested getting a tv/DVD combi for our boys bedroom here (he is just turned 3) I said not to bother as I don't personally think a 3 year old needs a tv in their room so to get him toys or whatever to keep at his house for him when he stays over,
Fine, he did, got him a buzz light year and some other bits.
Now his birthday was last week, he's just face times our boy and without telling me says to him 'I've got you a present I'll bring it tomorrow, a tv/DVD combo for you room!'
So now I'm mad, and when I said it wouldn't be going in his room as he can watch what he wants in the living room I was called 'a miserable fucker' and apparently ALL 3 year olds have tv's in their room.
Am I being unreasonable?? "
not at all my lad is 3 and he won't have a TV in his room at mine or his mum's until he's much older. He control's whatever TV he's near anyways........gutted cos he likes splash!!!! Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally iv got a tv in my sons room because I like to lay in bed with him to watch a dvd with him at night and it sometimes helps him fall asleep, its your house though stick to your guns, you need to remind your ex of that. My sons dad wants to get my son an xbox for his 5th birthday and I refuse it because we have a wii and he wont come out of his room and become another gamer just like his dad! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's your house so your rules, full stop!!! His asked you, you said no and he should respect that. I had G off a dummy 6 months before she decided to stop giving it to her and not once did I say anything. He has to respect the way you want him to be around yours as I imagine you let him when he goes to his. How you sort it without rows is another matter but explaining to him why and that you have his best interest at heart is all you can really do and hope he has the decency to respect that! But don't give in, just stick by your guns and refuse to have the telly x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Never easy when a decision you ve made is undermined by the other,
I have two girls they re with me this weeken ( yey) when they stay with me its my rules, when they re at my ex's her rules kids soon learnand adapt to the limits each will allow |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
such a nightmare for you being backed into a corner like this.
my stance for what it's worth....your house rules are your rules which need to be respected. Even tho you're not together anymore your son needs both parents to be consistent in their approach & not trying to score brownie points off each other (him not you I mean )
I've been bought up with bedrooms for sleeping and the lounge is for TV watching which is what I've carried through to my family.
My kids are 14 & 7, yes they've whinged about it a little but what's new, they'll always find something to say it's not fair about!
that's my belief anyway ~ when they get their own house they can make their own rules.
Good luck with whatever you decide x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is from a childless person so...
I have seen friends put TV's in the children's bedrooms at quite a young age, maybe so they don't have to watch toy story on a never ending loop, putting them on in the early evening before bedtime, when some parents are reading bedtime stories others are putting on a DVD and leaving them to it. As they get a little older it'll be for a Xbox/PlayStation. So it could be seen as lazy parenting, freeing up the main TV for EastEnders etc. Once they are old enough to operate it themselves they will be putting it on when they should be sleeping.
Put it on a wall bracket out of reach so you can decide when it goes on or off.
"
That's spot on. I totally agree with all you said.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
