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Blessed or cursed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So many year's ago my mum always used to swear our family was cursed as bad luck and unfortunate event's always seemed to plague our family.
I always used to think she was barmy.
Now 40years on I am thinking she has a genuine point.
As I sit here writing this I think about all the genuine bad luck that has hit our family since I can remember right up to now.
And it's staggering.
It seems others do seem blessed, good job's good health etc..
Of course everyone suffers adversity in life, everyone and not nieve enough to think otherwise.
However some people do seem to get the lion's share when it comes to good fortune.
While others do seem to get more than their share of bad luck.
So how would you count yourself blessed or cursed?
One thing I would say tho, while we have been genuinely hit with many bad thing's.
We have been blessed with love.
Mr
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Feeling cursed tends to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Also remember you never get to see 95% of what is going on in other people's lives. Therefore all you see is the illusion of peace and tranquility. You are comparing your detailed knowledge of your life's trials and tribulations against a very small sanitised vignette of someone else's life. |
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When we moved into our current home we had so much bad luck that my friend suggested asking a priest to bless the house. 
However my brother has had huge bad fortune in his life of the kind that makes you wonder at the random unkindness of it all and puts any misfortune we might have had in the shade.
Some people do appear to lead charmed lives but I think they're few and far between and most of us have had our fair share of crap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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neither - but have had more than my fair share of bad stuff happen in my life - blessed with 2 wonderful kids that have grown up into beautiful people - the crap i have to live with - did have a spate of about 9 months a while back though where i didnt go more than 2 weeks without something breaking - freezer- boiler - car - rooftiles - leaking water tank - blah blah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Feeling cursed tends to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Also remember you never get to see 95% of what is going on in other people's lives. Therefore all you see is the illusion of peace and tranquility. You are comparing your detailed knowledge of your life's trials and tribulations against a very small sanitised vignette of someone else's life."
Obviously that goes without saying, all I can compare with are immediate friends who we know.
And in general most seem to have had it better.
As for self forfilling prophecy. I can't see how a child's illness or a sudden death, redundancy etc.. Are things you can will upon one's self.
Yes I agree with if you think and act negative then negative thing's happen.
But it doesn't explain how Crap falls upon people in the immediate family who are upbeat positive people.
A famous person once said.
Life sucks!
Yes it does but it's full of beautiful moments in between.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on how these things are measured my idea of blessed / cursed may not the same for someone else.
Overall though I would say I've been more blessed than cursed. |
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"So many year's ago my mum always used to swear our family was cursed as bad luck and unfortunate event's always seemed to plague our family.
I always used to think she was barmy.
Now 40years on I am thinking she has a genuine point.
As I sit here writing this I think about all the genuine bad luck that has hit our family since I can remember right up to now.
And it's staggering.
It seems others do seem blessed, good job's good health etc..
Of course everyone suffers adversity in life, everyone and not nieve enough to think otherwise.
However some people do seem to get the lion's share when it comes to good fortune.
While others do seem to get more than their share of bad luck.
So how would you count yourself blessed or cursed?
One thing I would say tho, while we have been genuinely hit with many bad thing's.
We have been blessed with love.
Mr
"
Yeah, my life went from a serene progression of joy to a nightmare of endless misfortune when I married my ex - it beggared belief. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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they say for every negative there is a positive - so for example we often had no food on the table when i was young - this taught me not to take stuff for granted and when this has happened with me and my kids - they now know how to make a little go a long way - not sure if im wording this well but i know what i mean  |
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"they say for every negative there is a positive - so for example we often had no food on the table when i was young - this taught me not to take stuff for granted and when this has happened with me and my kids - they now know how to make a little go a long way - not sure if im wording this well but i know what i mean "
I know exactly what you mean.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"they say for every negative there is a positive - so for example we often had no food on the table when i was young - this taught me not to take stuff for granted and when this has happened with me and my kids - they now know how to make a little go a long way - not sure if im wording this well but i know what i mean
I know exactly what you mean.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm an optimist at all times - so I'm going to say blessed!
I have three great kids - though one has special needs - hence I'm not able to look for my 'happily ever after!'
I have loads of fun, great friends, great sex on my meets and I'm happier than I've ever been! I'm getting older by the day - aren't we all? - but I'm pretty happy with who I am! I'm far from rich but I can pay the bills - so life's good!!
So yes - I'm blessed!! |
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"they say for every negative there is a positive - so for example we often had no food on the table when i was young - this taught me not to take stuff for granted and when this has happened with me and my kids - they now know how to make a little go a long way - not sure if im wording this well but i know what i mean
I know exactly what you mean.
"
I had a really horrible experience once but it meant that years later I was able to help and understand a friend who went through the same thing. Taking something positive from a negative is what makes survivors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many year's ago my mum always used to swear our family was cursed as bad luck and unfortunate event's always seemed to plague our family.
I always used to think she was barmy.
Now 40years on I am thinking she has a genuine point.
As I sit here writing this I think about all the genuine bad luck that has hit our family since I can remember right up to now.
And it's staggering.
It seems others do seem blessed, good job's good health etc..
Of course everyone suffers adversity in life, everyone and not nieve enough to think otherwise.
However some people do seem to get the lion's share when it comes to good fortune.
While others do seem to get more than their share of bad luck.
So how would you count yourself blessed or cursed?
One thing I would say tho, while we have been genuinely hit with many bad thing's.
We have been blessed with love.
Mr
"
The last 17 years, I feel like our family is cursed. |
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Bad things happen to everyone, its easier to remember the bad than good.
First 40 years of my life could of been better but that was due to life, life's events and my choices.
The last 10 years started to get better, the last two or three even more so, yet I've suffered the death of my father in the last three years.
But I've changed my mindset, I change how I deal with things and I've taken as much negativity out my life as I possibly can. |
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"Feeling cursed tends to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Also remember you never get to see 95% of what is going on in other people's lives. Therefore all you see is the illusion of peace and tranquility. You are comparing your detailed knowledge of your life's trials and tribulations against a very small sanitised vignette of someone else's life.
Obviously that goes without saying, all I can compare with are immediate friends who we know.
And in general most seem to have had it better.
As for self forfilling prophecy. I can't see how a child's illness or a sudden death, redundancy etc.. Are things you can will upon one's self.
Yes I agree with if you think and act negative then negative thing's happen.
But it doesn't explain how Crap falls upon people in the immediate family who are upbeat positive people.
A famous person once said.
Life sucks!
Yes it does but it's full of beautiful moments in between.
"
You missed my point. Crap falls on everyone. If you decide you are cursed you focus on the crap as opposed to focusing on everything evenly.
Once you focus on the crap more than anything else then all you can see is crap.
There is no joy without hardship as both are relative measures. Therefore an understanding that you cannot change what has happened and that thing will happen such you have limited control over allows you to take more in your stride and to look at all sides of life not just negative.
It is bloody hard at times. But when things are hard is when we are obliged to fight even harder to ensure that it does not get to us. Otherwise we lose sight of happiness and the day to day joys which are easily overlooked.
Hardship comes in waves, joy often just lurks quietly nearby. It seldom tries to get your attention but if we start to notice it then the world is better.
If you decide you are cursed and linger on how awful everything is then you will not notice the joy.
No religion needed no "life changing philosophies" no books. Just eyes and ears. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on how these things are measured my idea of blessed / cursed may not the same for someone else.
Overall though I would say I've been more blessed than cursed."
Me too.
Although it might look rosy to an outsider, there's a lot of crap hidden under the surface in my wider family so I don't think you can ever compare yourself with other people in that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bad things happen to everyone, its easier to remember the bad than good.
First 40 years of my life could of been better but that was due to life, life's events and my choices.
The last 10 years started to get better, the last two or three even more so, yet I've suffered the death of my father in the last three years.
But I've changed my mindset, I change how I deal with things and I've taken as much negativity out my life as I possibly can."
I think it depends on how you look at things. There can be positivity in everything if you look hard enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wish I could change the world so good fortune and happiness for all, so instead I am sending you all a great big hug because that is something I can do and if it makes a tiny difference even to one person then it was worth writing this xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to live near a woman who lost all four of her sons to illnesses and accidents when they were adults. And her husband died in his 50s. I don't consider anything is down to luck,life deals you good shit,or bad shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum always says to be I have bad luck in love but in a lot of my life I have been incredibly lucky "
I never understand the 'unlucky in love' saying. They seem to say it about people that have had a few relationships but are currently single.
I think they are lucky in love- they have found all those people they like enough to date. Some people can't find anyone they want to date.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I've lived a fairly average life, leaning towards the lucky side. I had a really bad year in 2011 when everything, absolutely everything, seemed to go wrong, but I got a dog and kept smiling.
How bad can things have really been for me? I had a middle class family who supported me through everything, I've never gone hungry, I don't have any major illnesses. I've had bad things happen, but so does everyone I suppose.
So I'll keep
-Courtney |
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"My mum always says to be I have bad luck in love but in a lot of my life I have been incredibly lucky
I never understand the 'unlucky in love' saying. They seem to say it about people that have had a few relationships but are currently single.
I think they are lucky in love- they have found all those people they like enough to date. Some people can't find anyone they want to date. "
They worry that as they are getting older and my sister is settled down and happy that they don't want to die and me being alone they want me to meet someone and have the family I really want. They get upset when they see me upset when things haven't gone right time and time again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel really,really blessed with my friends and family,very,very fortunate to have these people round me.
As for cursed not too sure?
As my hero Gill Scott Heron said"No matter how far gone you've gone ? You can always turn around !" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have had quite a few sad/bad things happen in my life, mainly losing my mum to Alzheimers, but I still consider myself blessed in that I have good friends, a loving Dad and Brother, and achieved my dream job. The word "cursed" would never enter my head. |
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"Bad things happen to everyone, its easier to remember the bad than good.
First 40 years of my life could of been better but that was due to life, life's events and my choices.
The last 10 years started to get better, the last two or three even more so, yet I've suffered the death of my father in the last three years.
But I've changed my mindset, I change how I deal with things and I've taken as much negativity out my life as I possibly can.
I think it depends on how you look at things. There can be positivity in everything if you look hard enough. "
yes, and sometimes it's not easy to find but its been my new way of dealing with things for the past few years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blessed.
I suppose nobody was ever happy with their upbringing, well some people probably were, but mine was abusive and neglective.
It actually gave me a lot of insight into peoples behaviour and made me more outgoing to interact with more people as well, and although i have let abusive people into my life since, the more people i meet like that the sooner i figure them out and fuck them off completely. This has, overall, saved me from a lot of heartache. It also gave me an idea of how to manipulate, which isn't the best skill or quality to have but if you tone that right down and care about who you're manipulating then you can use this to your advantage without hurting anyone. You can also gather a lot of useful info this way too and have a better life for yourself based on facts.
Neglect didn't affect me negatively believe it or not. I'm very independent, know what i want and how to get that for myself. It also made me more empathetic and slightly vulnerable to abusers but i am more aware of their tactics so it's no big deal overall.
Blessed every time.
I know how to use negatives and turn them into positives. I know how to protect myself without becoming and empty shell. I see many empty shells who have never been through any shit at all and i've never been like them.
I accept a lot of things too, not that i won't try to change things where i can but when i can't i accept it and feel that pain for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blessed.
I suppose nobody was ever happy with their upbringing, well some people probably were, but mine was abusive and neglective.
It actually gave me a lot of insight into peoples behaviour and made me more outgoing to interact with more people as well, and although i have let abusive people into my life since, the more people i meet like that the sooner i figure them out and fuck them off completely. This has, overall, saved me from a lot of heartache. It also gave me an idea of how to manipulate, which isn't the best skill or quality to have but if you tone that right down and care about who you're manipulating then you can use this to your advantage without hurting anyone. You can also gather a lot of useful info this way too and have a better life for yourself based on facts.
Neglect didn't affect me negatively believe it or not. I'm very independent, know what i want and how to get that for myself. It also made me more empathetic and slightly vulnerable to abusers but i am more aware of their tactics so it's no big deal overall.
Blessed every time.
I know how to use negatives and turn them into positives. I know how to protect myself without becoming and empty shell. I see many empty shells who have never been through any shit at all and i've never been like them.
I accept a lot of things too, not that i won't try to change things where i can but when i can't i accept it and feel that pain for a while."
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"I don't think there is anything such as blessed or cursed or good and bad luck. There is just life.  "
As ever succinctly put..
it is what it is at whatever point in ones life and how that is going be that 'good', 'bad' and all in between..
its how one deals with the bad which defines us, anyone can be a nice person when its all rosy etc..
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