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Job-based anxiety...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This might be an odd long winded post

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago which I was really excited about... yet now I'm at the stage where I dread going in. I've only worked about three full shifts but I'm already feeling like I'm just not good enough at all, and that I'm too slow at it & that I won't pick it up, and they'll just drop me soon anyway. I'm meant to be going in at 3 but I'm currently sat in tears about it as I feel that bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you thought about asking your manager for feedback. I started a new job in January and felt I wasn't going that well. But when I spoke to my boss they were really happy with my progress

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

I'm in a similar position where I feel as though I'm not good enough for mine. It does get me down sometimes, but I always say to myself, come on son, step up and see if you can smash it.

I read a quote the other day from Richard Branson that helped me. May help motivate you too.

“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh sweetie, I'm not sure what your job is so I can't advise you that way.

However what I can say is you need to try and put the self doubt to one side, pick yourself up,get ready & go do your shift.

If you're feeling anxious about your ability can you speak to your line manager & ask for an early performance review?

You can always pm me if I can help anymore x

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By *entadreadMan over a year ago

Essex

"This might be an odd long winded post

It is really too early for you to think you are not good enough. You would not have been offered the job if your interviewers did not think they were something you could bring to the table.

have a word with your line manager, ask them how they felt when they had just joined, you will be surprised to learn that we all go through the same anxieties. Dust yourself, and go in tomorrow. You can do it.

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By *heCrowAndButterflyCouple over a year ago

Rushden

Anxiety is horrendous in any form. I suffer with anxiety and it's just awful.

If it's really that bad then don't go in. You need to get to the bottom of why it's causing you so much anxiety.

Good luck xx

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By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

It's only natural to feel like a fish-out-of-water, when you have started a new job. Three shifts isn't enough for you to learn anything but the most menial of tasks. Give it another couple of weeks, and see how you feel then. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Have you thought about asking your manager for feedback. I started a new job in January and felt I wasn't going that well. But when I spoke to my boss they were really happy with my progress "

He's started pulling me into the office at the end of every shift... say, on Saturday he told me I need to start working faster on the check out. I worked as hard as I possibly can yesterday - I'm not making excuses, but I have dyspraxia which means I can struggle with catching on to new things as quickly as others do, something I told the manager in my interview - but I was told it still wasn't good enough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh sweetie, I'm not sure what your job is so I can't advise you that way.

However what I can say is you need to try and put the self doubt to one side, pick yourself up,get ready & go do your shift.

If you're feeling anxious about your ability can you speak to your line manager & ask for an early performance review?

You can always pm me if I can help anymore x"

This

I hope you feel better OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh doll. That doesn't sound encouraging. I recall you being excited when you started and I hope you get that feeling back.

I started a new job recently too. It's difficult to step in to an already established workplace and learn the ropes. I'm lucky in that I have more confidence than is probably good for me.

My advice is to tell them what you told us. They have a responsibility to help you. It's not easy but it's something they can help you with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh sweetie, I'm not sure what your job is so I can't advise you that way.

However what I can say is you need to try and put the self doubt to one side, pick yourself up,get ready & go do your shift.

If you're feeling anxious about your ability can you speak to your line manager & ask for an early performance review?

You can always pm me if I can help anymore x"

I can't message you sweetie, your age filters are up x

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

Ruby, honestly, you'll be fine.

The most important thing your employer wants is someone who can turn up reliably and be friendly to the customers.

Everything else is secondary and will come in time.

Now dry those eyes, and get your happy face back on, you know how much it lights up your face.

Good luck (not that you need it)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You wouldn't have been given the job if they believe you weren't able to succeed. Perhaps bear in mind that they have faith in you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I think there are two things coming to my mind Ruby - the symptoms and the cause.

Dealing with the symptoms will help you feel and perform better at work - plus in your life generally. So I'd do what you can to ensure that you get plenty of de-stressing and relaxation, if nothing else. Being in a new job is extremely draining, taking a lot of our mental energy which, in turn, depletes us physically too, even if our job isn't that physically taxing. Learning itself has a high mental load, so if you're both pushing yourself, potentially whilst learning and improving your performance, you'll drain your psychic self.

Then there's the job itself. It's typical for us to over-estimate what is expected and required, especially when we want to prove ourselves, for whatever reasons. If you have clear goals set for your performance, then it does help you measure yourself against what has been set. Some roles may make this easier than others, but if you have vague, qualitative goals, it may help if they can be somehow quantified too. Otherwise we can end-up with measuring ourselves against an idealised target, rather than one that is realistic or expected. The main thing in many ways is that the job is right for you - in terms of it being what you do want: I assume that it is, even if you're not feeling great just now.

See if you can set regular reviews with your manager, so that they can outline any expectations and also provide the chance for good feedback to you. You'll likely not have deep social support in a new environment, so I'd also work on developing in-house relationships, as far as possible. Even if you're not going to let off steam, it can be good to have people around who kind of understand you and what's happening. The issue with a new job can be that we're set adrift from our established networks, and then we're also investing energy into forming new ones: so I'd try to focus in on a few key people who seem to shine to you.

Lastly get the support that you need away from work. Talk to whoever is a good listener. Even if they just discount any negativity, if they're soothing and care for you, then you'll likely manage to tone down the anxiety to some extent.

And do the good stuff that's great for your soul. Ensure you're relaxing and sleeping really effectively. Stress isn't healthy for us. Plan some regular detoxes for your mind. I'm a firm believer in massage, as we physically relax, engaging our minds to do the same. Yoga too: I can't remember if you've mentioned if you do yoga before, but perhaps seek out a class, if you've time.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you thought about asking your manager for feedback. I started a new job in January and felt I wasn't going that well. But when I spoke to my boss they were really happy with my progress

Okay, what I suggest is to arrive at work earlier today & ask to peak to him before your shift starts. I think it might be an idea to remind him that you mentioned your dyspraxia during the interview. Do you think he understood what you meant by that? A lot of people confuse it with dyslexia......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I recognise the feeling well, Ruby, it's awful that you're so upset.

As others have said, your colleagues are probably very happy that you're there and with your performance. I suspect that it also speaks to how much you care about being good at your job that you feel so anxious now, something that your manager may well have recognise and appreciate.

There's no harm in asking for feedback, even voicing your concerns and asking if there's something more you can do to improve.

Good luck, remember your strengths too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you thought about asking your manager for feedback. I started a new job in January and felt I wasn't going that well. But when I spoke to my boss they were really happy with my progress

Good advice and hope goes well .don't let the job or your manager get to you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could you take in info on dyspraxia to show your manager so he knows and hopefully understand what you go through .if have no luck is there anyone else at work you can ask for help ?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'd been writing my earlier post whilst you'd posted, so hadn't read everything that you'd submitted - thus it didn't relate to everything that was added.

I think it's useful to have a meeting too when there isn't the immediate pressure of work, such as when shifts are just finished. If you can get some feedback and discussion going away from those times, then it should be a bit more balanced - others have highlighted this. If you could have regular meetings like this, then it might help him to ease off at the end of each shift: that's not a particularly supportive thing for any manage to do with their staff; it's kind of demoralising and an insult.

It's important that employers make meaningful adjustments where necessary for their employees' personal situation, such as with dyspraxia. Again, following on from the others, it's useful to refresh memories about this there, even if it's not something you need immediate workplace adjustments for, merely recognition that this is something that they can all acknowledge and respect.

I wondered if you could speak with HR about any aspects of this, especially if they could speak from an advice perspective.

The gist of my earlier points still stand.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Did you explain how your dyspraxia affects you peronally? You said the other day you felt guilty serving smokers.

Maybe look for something where you will feel comfortable and not under preasure.

But also remember noone walks into a job and picks everything up in the first 10 minutes.

Id give it a month and see how you feel then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree about taking info in on what dyspraxia is. Print it out so you don't have to try and find the words yourself to explain if you'd find that difficult.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Right - ze update!

I actuashift, ang my manager up before my shift began, he gave me the option of giving in my notice there and then - I said no cos I don't give up that easily, I have more kickass than that.

I talked to him before my shift began, he buddied me up with a couple of girls, helped my confidence and had a good chat. Then my supervisor took me to one side, talked about everything in detail - I've speeded up on checkout, but he gave me another couple of points to brush up, so all's better.

Added to that as I've booked the weekend off I'm not back until next Monday, so I have time to relax properly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This might be an odd long winded post

In all honesty, I think you should ask for line manager for 5 minutes and just ask. If there are issues, this is their chance to bring them up. If there aren't, or only small things (which is the case for everyone!) it'll come across really well that you care.

If you don't instigate, they may think you don't care. What you don't know is what you don't know.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Right - ze update!

I actuashift, ang my manager up before my shift began, he gave me the option of giving in my notice there and then - I said no cos I don't give up that easily, I have more kickass than that.

Added to that as I've booked the weekend off I'm not back until next Monday, so I have time to relax properly.

"
right well.be proud of yourself you made the.approach and.got a.good outcome well done

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

You've done well there, keep smiling and it will sort itself out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well done Ruby, enjoy the peace of mind and your time off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Although it may appeal to you, is taking holiday the best thing in the first few weeks? It'll delay your training/development, and may be acknowledged negatively by management.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

I hope it goes well for you OP. Work stress is horrible. I really hope it gets better for you, but if it doesn't, remember life is too short to be miserable.

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By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Well done for taking the initiative, and getting some more support. To be honest, though, your boss sounds like he could do with working on his people-management skills, as suggesting that you might want to resign (after only 3 shifts!) indicates that he isn't really taking the human element into consideration.

Well done for plugging at it, enjoy your time off at the weekend, and hopefully all will be better next week.

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