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Accidents, d*unk stylie :-)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've had a few bevvies tonight, more than planned as I'm now trying to cook dinner 
Got me thinking, we haven't had a silly accident whilst d*unk threads for a while.
I'll start with....
Two black eyes after walking into a lampost
*disclaimer, I don't advocate excessive consumption of alcohol....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marc fell off the bed when he was fucking me once when we were first dating because he was completely d*unk out of his mind. Broke the t.v. stand, almost broke the t.v. and ended up with some wicked bruises. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once d*unk and coming downstairs to go through to my living room, I tripped over a loose thread of carpet, flew through the air like Supergirl and landed in a big heap. My then boyfriend laughed so much he almost wet himself. Meanwhile my ankle was in agony!
Fell into a d*unk stupor but in the morning it was throbbing so my fella took me to A&E where I was told I'd broken my ankle 
Carpets have a lot to answer for! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Knocked out dancing with my mate on my shoulders in a club both went face first to the floor both of us unconscious woke up with a tennis ball sized lump above my eye happy days  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I advise you all to look up DontBottleItUp and take the test.
I bought 25 bottles of gin today. Not for me, I hasten to add.  "
I've done that, was fairly pleased with the result, definitely food for thought  |
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"Hubby is out . Son asleep. And I just opened a bottle of wine. So it's going to get crazy 
MrsSB 
How crazy can it get with just you and a bottle of wine?
.....Actually. Don't answer that lol"
Crazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing for years, but back in the day there were numerous broken toes and I really badly strained my anterior cruciate ligament falling over in heels dancing to Cotton Eye Joe.
If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe...my left knee wouldn't ache every time the weather gets really cold. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I advise you all to look up DontBottleItUp and take the test.
I bought 25 bottles of gin today. Not for me, I hasten to add.
I've done that, was fairly pleased with the result, definitely food for thought "
Great. It seems to get women to cut down when they see the calorie count more than anything else (I'm doing some research at the moment).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I advise you all to look up DontBottleItUp and take the test.
I bought 25 bottles of gin today. Not for me, I hasten to add. "
Just did that...6 out of 40 doesn't feel too bad. |
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New Year's Eve.... got hammered. Tripped over many white lines in the middle of the road. Needed a pee, badly. Found me a tree, pulled my knickers down, fell against the tree, grazed my arse!!!!! Flipping hurt the next day in shower.... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I advise you all to look up DontBottleItUp and take the test.
I bought 25 bottles of gin today. Not for me, I hasten to add.
Just did that...6 out of 40 doesn't feel too bad. "
That's very good.
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I lost my footing coming down a step out of my friends bathroom, banged my head on the wall, ricocheted over to bang my head on the other wall and passed out face first onto their kitchen floor  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New Year's Eve.... got hammered. Tripped over many white lines in the middle of the road. Needed a pee, badly. Found me a tree, pulled my knickers down, fell against the tree, grazed my arse!!!!! Flipping hurt the next day in shower.... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago, tipsy at a family do on Boxing Day, so tipsy that I didnt see the dog and tripped over it & smashed into sideboard, split my top lip wide open, spent rest of Boxing Day in A&E getting 8 stitches.
Oh and the dog....it was a great dane...like a fucking horse...and yet I didnt see it sat there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fell asleep naked on the bathroom of my parents house after a particularly messy boxing day. I was thirty at the time though and the then Mrs Shep couldn't shift me and had to call my step dad upstairs to drag me into the bedroom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell asleep naked on the bathroom of my parents house after a particularly messy boxing day. I was thirty at the time though and the then Mrs Shep couldn't shift me and had to call my step dad upstairs to drag me into the bedroom! "
Sorry that's a lie, I was 29 it was two weeks before I was 30! |
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Once upon a time there was a very intoxicated 19 year old, who after a night in the boozer decided she needed to continue with her kleptomaniac ways when she spotted the perfect item for her collection
A wonderful flag!
The trouble was, said flag was flying 30 foot in the air.
Never one to back down from a challenge, the intoxicated one approached the flag pole and proceeded to lift it out of its base when it fell to the road with an almighty clang.
The girl took the flag and along with her friends legged it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Years ago, tipsy at a family do on Boxing Day, so tipsy that I didnt see the dog and tripped over it & smashed into sideboard, split my top lip wide open, spent rest of Boxing Day in A&E getting 8 stitches.
Oh and the dog....it was a great dane...like a fucking horse...and yet I didnt see it sat there! "
My dog 'took my mum out' many years ago, left her with a broken leg  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
When I was on a college trip to Paris a few of us went to a seedy club. When we got back we had been locked out. Silly me decided to shimmy up the drainpipe to try and get someone's attention. The hotelier opened the front door as I lost my footing and landed in a heap in front of him and my teacher  |
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A young man and his friend on the way home from a very happy new year's eve proceded to move for sale signs to different houses and added one to the bus stop....remembering nothing of this till his parents mentioned "someone had fun last night...the church and the bus stop are up for sale...and a love heart made of traffic cones has been found on the traffic island" cornflakes were nearly the death of me as I tried not to choke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!  "
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
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"A young man and his friend on the way home from a very happy new year's eve proceded to move for sale signs to different houses and added one to the bus stop....remembering nothing of this till his parents mentioned "someone had fun last night...the church and the bus stop are up for sale...and a love heart made of traffic cones has been found on the traffic island" cornflakes were nearly the death of me as I tried not to choke "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Today lady and me got very adventurous in the bedroom felt a very sharp pain and a snap I've now got leg in an air cast snapped a ligament painful and I've missed the Newport social grrrrrr  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
"
I'm weak!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!! "
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Ledbury |
I can remember getting batoned by the police for the henious crime of standing on some raised planters on one new years eve in order to get a better view of the clock tower at midnight...
There were loads of people doing it all up the street and the police seemed to be doing it indiscriminately.... lads, lasses whoever.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If KiannaJ is there I'm usually in trouble! Countless times I've wondered why we are still friends after her pushing me of beds! She's trying to elimate the local competition. Watch out! |
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I once nipped into a Wetherspoons for lunch, 2 bottles of wine later I went shopping. Woke up the next morning with 4 large Primark bags and a receipt for a little over £200.
Although that isn't as bad as the 3some I had in Brighton that I only know happened because of the video evidence.
No physical injuries to speak of though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If KiannaJ is there I'm usually in trouble! Countless times I've wondered why we are still friends after her pushing me of beds! She's trying to elimate the local competition. Watch out! "
Ahh piss off! you loved it!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!!
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear. "
stop it! That's really tickled me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I jumped on top of a parked police 4x4 and proceeded to do pressups on the roof. Lucky I didn't get caught lol. Still have the photo actually
Don't believe you "
Haha I can't exactly upload that photo here can I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!!
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear.
stop it! That's really tickled me!"
You Schadenfreuding me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!!
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear.
stop it! That's really tickled me!
You Schadenfreuding me? "
I could be! My ex told me a story about how he went swimming on a beach in Florida and got taken out by a massive wave and came to coughing and spluttering on the beach, but in effect almost died. I thought that was highly amusing too
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!!
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear. "
Funniest thing I've read in ages. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After an epic session on the sauce, at 2am I decided to stop by my local church and give God a piece of my mind. I was hooting and crying, snot everywhere when I tripped over a headstone and knocked myself out. If that wasn't a message from above I don't know what is
What's even more hilarious is the the concussion had me stuck on a toxic mix between the Lord's Prayer and Twin Peaks. Woke up the next day to some crazy ass written ramblings about the woods having eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fell down an inspection pit on a railway in East Germany at 5 in the morning walking home from a club in 1993.
I was there 2 hours.
Omg!!
I know and when a local man did eventually walk past and heard me shouting, he threw a plum at me and walked off muttering something in German. How rude.
He came back 20 minutes later with some rope and more plums?? As if I'd want more??
I'm weak!!
I know right? Me too, I can't walk past the fruit aisle in lidls without shedding a tear.
Funniest thing I've read in ages. Thank you "
Hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I once nipped into a Wetherspoons for lunch, 2 bottles of wine later I went shopping. Woke up the next morning with 4 large Primark bags and a receipt for a little over £200.
Although that isn't as bad as the 3some I had in Brighton that I only know happened because of the video evidence.
No physical injuries to speak of though."
You must have bought a shed load of clothes for 200 quid in Primarni. Did you like any of it though?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After an epic session on the sauce, at 2am I decided to stop by my local church and give God a piece of my mind. I was hooting and crying, snot everywhere when I tripped over a headstone and knocked myself out. If that wasn't a message from above I don't know what is
What's even more hilarious is the the concussion had me stuck on a toxic mix between the Lord's Prayer and Twin Peaks. Woke up the next day to some crazy ass written ramblings about the woods having eyes "
You're lucky I wasn't there. You'd have woke up with my cock in your gob whilst dressed as kyle McClachlan......or Jesus |
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