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"carpet burns" on a fanny ain't funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sympathy please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only if you tell us how the fook you managed to do that

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Only if you tell us how the fook you managed to do that

Seconded!

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By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Shitting hell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sympathy please

Eeewww!Im now sat here with my legs crossed.Elbow burns are bad enough!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You want to stop using carpet samples as a frontage device

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you had a fat arse like me your fanny wouldn't touch the floor, and you wouldn't have burning flaps.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

Bit of conditioner down there sorts that. Apparently.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

Have you got something against aging gingers?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

No but i haven't shaved in a few weeks so I'm the one with brillo pubes

, ow ouch.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

Bit of conditioner down there sorts that. Apparently.

So does removal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

No but i haven't shaved in a few weeks so I'm the one with brillo pubes

, ow ouch."

I condition mine with Honey conditioner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

Heaping sympathy your way

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

Have you got something against aging gingers?

Brillo pads are gun metal grey aren't they? You're talking about those golden fleece scrubbers my mum used to use. I'd totally forgotten about them.

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By *uciyassMan over a year ago

Blackrock

"Sympathy please

OMG you poor love. How the F did you get in that position

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

Heaping sympathy your way

I read that as healing sympathy - yes please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sympathy please

OMG you poor love. How the F did you get in that position "

Horniness, menstrual pads and a lady wank

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath. "

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

Her fanny flaps. Get it right man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

No worms here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you can get Metanium from your local chemist that will soothe it a bit...

Or find a caring mouth to kiss it better x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days. "

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you can get Metanium from your local chemist that will soothe it a bit...

Or find a caring mouth to kiss it better x"

Very gently lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment."

It cuts down on static too

win/win

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

The dog on It'll be alright on the night x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

The dog on It'll be alright on the night x"

I'm hoping it (my fanny) will be alright on the night... Soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

It cuts down on static too

win/win "

And you can choose which fragrance you want wafting from your pubes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

It cuts down on static too

win/win