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Have a laugh post a joke
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Post a joke guys lets try to bring a smile to each other's beautiful faces. So i'l start of course.
Did you hear the joke about the bin?
It doesn't matter it was 'rubbish' anyway lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Batman come up to me the other day and hit me over the head with a vase and said tapow, I said don't you kapow? He said no, I have China in my hands.
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
They only get hard when ten of their mates are standing behind them!"
Being West Ham's goalkeeper is like being at a massive orgy. You've got 10 arseholes in front of you and a thousand dicks just behind you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
They only get hard when ten of their mates are standing behind them!
Being West Ham's goalkeeper is like being at a massive orgy. You've got 10 arseholes in front of you and a thousand dicks just behind you"
 LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I scared the postman today by going to the door naked.
I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived
LOL I tell the male version of that joke  "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And finally ... (for now )
A man died today due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle.
Police believe he had serious selfie steam issues
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And finally ... (for now )
A man died today due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle.
Police believe he had serious selfie steam issues
Awesome lmao "
I thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And finally ... (for now )
A man died today due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle.
Police believe he had serious selfie steam issues
Haha"
I have many more ... but don't worry ... they're not all coming out tonight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Congratulations A
Congratulations B
Congratulations C
It looks like congratulations are in order
That is so bad its ace haha"
The bad ones tend to be the best  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Egg and a sausage in a frying pan sausage says " hot in here isn't it" egg says " fuck me a talking sausage!!" "
That's a bit old but still love it!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Egg and a sausage in a frying pan sausage says " hot in here isn't it" egg says " fuck me a talking sausage!!"
That's a bit old but still love it!!!!
I'm trying to behave and not be dark lol "
You can misbehave a bit ... not everyone will get offended 
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"Egg and a sausage in a frying pan sausage says " hot in here isn't it" egg says " fuck me a talking sausage!!"
That's a bit old but still love it!!!!
I'm trying to behave and not be dark lol
You can misbehave a bit ... not everyone will get offended
"
LOL trust me they will ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Egg and a sausage in a frying pan sausage says " hot in here isn't it" egg says " fuck me a talking sausage!!" "
My favourite clean joke of all time I always use it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a new alcoholic vagina gel that women can rub on their flaps, so when the bloke goes down he can have a bevvy as well.
However, the government have banned it, amid fears of 24 hour minge drinking |
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Two nuns driving down the road.
Suddenly Dracula jumps out in front of them.
Skidding to a halt, one of the nuns turns to the other and said "Show him your cross sister!"
The other nun wound down the window and shouted "Get out the road you toothy cunt!"... |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Two nuns driving down the road.
Suddenly Dracula jumps out in front of them.
Skidding to a halt, one of the nuns turns to the other and said "Show him your cross sister!"
The other nun wound down the window and shouted "Get out the road you toothy cunt!"..."
Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of s. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out of the water and bites him. To show the fish who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the Lions.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he gets attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the chimps with his spade, killing them both. 'Feed them to the lions.' He says to himself. So he hurls the corpses into the Lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the Lions cage.
Later that day a new Lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion
and says "Alright pal. What's the food like here?"
The Lion replies, "Fucking brilliant mate, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
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By *rozacMan
over a year ago
london |
"A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of s. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out of the water and bites him. To show the fish who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the Lions.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he gets attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the chimps with his spade, killing them both. 'Feed them to the lions.' He says to himself. So he hurls the corpses into the Lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the Lions cage.
Later that day a new Lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion
and says "Alright pal. What's the food like here?"
The Lion replies, "Fucking brilliant mate, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
"
Fucking.YES |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Earlier today, I was standing in the local supermarket check out queue, behind an OAP.
Her answer to the cashier when told how much her groceries bill came to was "Oh dear, I'm missing £10 from my purse, I thought I'd enough money. Looks like I'll have to put my shopping back on the shelves!"
I thought, "Let's do the decent thing here for this old lady; it could be my Mum standing there!"
Five minutes later, I helped her put her shopping back on the shelves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Post a joke guys lets try to bring a smile to each other's beautiful faces. So i'l start of course.
Did you hear the joke about the bin?
It doesn't matter it was 'rubbish' anyway lol x"
Loving this thread!
Nice one Jason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please
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By *ercuryMan
over a year ago
Grantham |
Overcame my shyness and went to the Sperm Bank to donate.
Receptionist said "can you masturbate in the cup?"
I replied "it's my first time, don't you think it's a bit soon to ask me to be wanking in a tournament!" |
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Two prostitutes stood on a corner, the first prostitute turns to the other excited and says “it’s going to be great night tonight I can smell the cock in the air!”
The second one turns to her and says “oops sorry I just burped”
Sorry my grandad tells me that alll the time he thinks it’s hilar  |
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"Two prostitutes stood on a corner, the first prostitute turns to the other excited and says “it’s going to be great night tonight I can smell the cock in the air!”
The second one turns to her and says “oops sorry I just burped”
Sorry my grandad tells me that alll the time he thinks it’s hilar "
*hilarous |
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My sister took going to jail really badly.
She didn't go without a fight, kicking and screaming.
She spat at everyone, refused food and drink, smeared shit on the walls.
We never played Monopoly again. |
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But my sons favourite.....
What did one eye say to the other?
There’s something between us that smells! 
