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Shitty Veri’s

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether

Time for a little game

Simply leave the most conceivably off putting verification for the person above you on this thread. Note: This is intended to be a fun and good natured thread so do so ON THE THREAD ONLY as opposed to a genuine verification of course (which would likely go down none too well to put it mildly....)

I’ll give you the idea by verifying myself thus: ‘Sensuallover turned up stinking of week old piss and proceeded to pull out the smallest penis I’ve ever had the misfortune to behold. He then had the audacity to prematurely ejaculate all over my newly carpeted lounge floor when I merely offered him a cup of tea. At this point I asked him to leave.....Be sure to treat him with respect.’

Off you go folks

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By *hitewitch77Woman 16 weeks ago

North Wales

All mouth and no fucking action... Got pissed and fall asleep

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By *aven RedWoman 16 weeks ago

Liverpool

Turned up and looked better in lingerie than me x

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By *rightonsteveMan 16 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’ve got bad ones for real

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By *nton101Man 16 weeks ago

Wirral

Her oral skills were all back teeth .....and when she sat on my face, it was like my local fishmongers

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

After meeting “Whitewitch” I shuddered all the way home, the hair under her armpits was hideous and she had what can only be describe as spinach between her teeth. Don’t go there, to be avoided like the plague

None of the above is true and I’m pretty sure she shaves her armpits and cleans her teeth

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By *estarossa.Woman 16 weeks ago

Anticipation


"Time for a little game

Simply leave the most conceivably off putting verification for the person above you on this thread. Note: This is intended to be a fun and good natured thread so do so ON THE THREAD ONLY as opposed to a genuine verification of course (which would likely go down none too well to put it mildly....)

I’ll give you the idea by verifying myself thus: ‘Sensuallover turned up stinking of week old piss and proceeded to pull out the smallest penis I’ve ever had the misfortune to behold. He then had the audacity to prematurely ejaculate all over my newly carpeted lounge floor when I merely offered him a cup of tea. At this point I asked him to leave.....Be sure to treat him with respect.’

Off you go folks "

I can't quite believe you copied and pasted the veri I left you!

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By *dam1971Man 16 weeks ago

Bedford

I met up with Cheeky69 who didn’t look anything like her photo. Or should I say, his photo

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By *ipeterCouple 16 weeks ago

Chester

He came He went

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"Time for a little game

Simply leave the most conceivably off putting verification for the person above you on this thread. Note: This is intended to be a fun and good natured thread so do so ON THE THREAD ONLY as opposed to a genuine verification of course (which would likely go down none too well to put it mildly....)

I’ll give you the idea by verifying myself thus: ‘Sensuallover turned up stinking of week old piss and proceeded to pull out the smallest penis I’ve ever had the misfortune to behold. He then had the audacity to prematurely ejaculate all over my newly carpeted lounge floor when I merely offered him a cup of tea. At this point I asked him to leave.....Be sure to treat him with respect.’

Off you go folks

I can't quite believe you copied and pasted the veri I left you! "

But....but I did offer to pay for the carpet cleaning bill.....

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By *ulfilthmentMan 16 weeks ago

Behind the sofa

Met this charming fellow for a social. Watch out though; the blighter didn’t stand his round.

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By *estarossa.Woman 16 weeks ago

Anticipation


"Time for a little game

Simply leave the most conceivably off putting verification for the person above you on this thread. Note: This is intended to be a fun and good natured thread so do so ON THE THREAD ONLY as opposed to a genuine verification of course (which would likely go down none too well to put it mildly....)

I’ll give you the idea by verifying myself thus: ‘Sensuallover turned up stinking of week old piss and proceeded to pull out the smallest penis I’ve ever had the misfortune to behold. He then had the audacity to prematurely ejaculate all over my newly carpeted lounge floor when I merely offered him a cup of tea. At this point I asked him to leave.....Be sure to treat him with respect.’

Off you go folks

I can't quite believe you copied and pasted the veri I left you!

But....but I did offer to pay for the carpet cleaning bill..... "

Offering to suck it through your teeth doesn't qualify!!

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By *hortishblondeWoman 16 weeks ago

essex

Two seconds two bloody seconds I blinked and it was over .....

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester


"Two seconds two bloody seconds I blinked and it was over ..... "

She was tall and had red hair! False advertisement!

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By *dam1971Man 16 weeks ago

Bedford


"Time for a little game

Simply leave the most conceivably off putting verification for the person above you on this thread. Note: This is intended to be a fun and good natured thread so do so ON THE THREAD ONLY as opposed to a genuine verification of course (which would likely go down none too well to put it mildly....)

I’ll give you the idea by verifying myself thus: ‘Sensuallover turned up stinking of week old piss and proceeded to pull out the smallest penis I’ve ever had the misfortune to behold. He then had the audacity to prematurely ejaculate all over my newly carpeted lounge floor when I merely offered him a cup of tea. At this point I asked him to leave.....Be sure to treat him with respect.’

Off you go folks

I can't quite believe you copied and pasted the veri I left you!

But....but I did offer to pay for the carpet cleaning bill.....

Offering to suck it through your teeth doesn't qualify!! "

And the kiss goodbye must have been awful

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By *hortishblondeWoman 16 weeks ago

essex

What teeth

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By *wilightDancerXxCouple 16 weeks ago

Nr Wrexham


"Two seconds two bloody seconds I blinked and it was over .....

She was tall and had red hair! False advertisement! "

Turned up in a boiler suit! Refused to kiss me and spent the entire time reading a week old magazine! In hindsight, suggesting we meet in my dentists waiting room, as I was being treated for an abscess, probably wasn’t a good idea. Still no excuse for the boiler suit though! x Viv x

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By *hortishblondeWoman 16 weeks ago

essex


"Two seconds two bloody seconds I blinked and it was over .....

She was tall and had red hair! False advertisement!

Turned up in a boiler suit! Refused to kiss me and spent the entire time reading a week old magazine! In hindsight, suggesting we meet in my dentists waiting room, as I was being treated for an abscess, probably wasn’t a good idea. Still no excuse for the boiler suit though! x Viv x"

Lol very good

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By *essicaXYWoman 16 weeks ago

Lust City

He's cum when unzipping my jeans FFS... No point of taking my bra off now.

This actually happened

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By *irthandgirthMan 16 weeks ago

here there and everywhere


"He's cum when unzipping my jeans FFS... No point of taking my bra off now.

This actually happened "

What a demanding twunt. She wanted it twice! I mean come on, I'm only human. When I rolled over for a nap she kept screaming "again!" At me.

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By *erby DomCouple 16 weeks ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

[Removed by poster at 25/03/19 09:19:42]

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By *erby DomCouple 16 weeks ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

There is no way I could point this veri at a woman on here even in jest. But here goes my effort at a bad one....

The smell coming from her crotch was stomach churning.

Once I untangled her pubic dreadlocks from her panties she whispered, "Just pick the scabs and ride the puss dear".

I have never ran so fast in my life and spent the rest of the evening in the shower 'crying game' style.

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

what can I say about this couple?? Well for starters their 'play-pen' of toys leaves little to the imagination....no seriously I've seen better toys at a pound-shop closing down sale...as for their attempts at public displays...lets just say somethings really are best left hidden from view..

sorry no offence intended...both have a wonderful profile

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By *innie The MinxWoman 16 weeks ago

Liverpool

When Chocolateboy turned up I was very shocked to find he was actually white and looked like Vanilla Ice.When I pointed this out he said "well you can get white chocolate too you know".

He also had a tiny dick and wore Cuban heels.

I was hugely disappointed and may be contacting Trading Standards.

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester


"When Chocolateboy turned up I was very shocked to find he was actually white and looked like Vanilla Ice.When I pointed this out he said "well you can get white chocolate too you know".

He also had a tiny dick and wore Cuban heels.

I was hugely disappointed and may be contacting Trading Standards. "

Well, at least she makes a passable cup of tea.

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By *dam1971Man 16 weeks ago

Bedford

We had a great meeting, she laughed a lot.

It started when I undid my trousers and she reached for a magnifying glass

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"When Chocolateboy turned up I was very shocked to find he was actually white and looked like Vanilla Ice.When I pointed this out he said "well you can get white chocolate too you know".

He also had a tiny dick and wore Cuban heels.

I was hugely disappointed and may be contacting Trading Standards.

Well, at least she makes a passable cup of tea. "

Inaswingdress and I chatted for all of about five minutes online before she arranged to meet me in the romantic setting of my local Asda toilets, promising me the, and I quote, ‘Most mind blowing gob job ever!’

I was admittedly a little apprehensive when she additionally suggested that I firstly enter the toilet and strip naked before donning a blindfold.

Nonetheless, in accordance with her instructions I did as I was told and waited patiently, and very nakedly, by the wash basin.

.....and waited.....and waited....until a security guard removed me and issued a lifetime ban from entering the store ever again

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester

Probably did you a favour

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"We had a great meeting, she laughed a lot.

It started when I undid my trousers and she reached for a magnifying glass "

In a somewhat gargantuan case of cat fishing, ‘Sarah’ (!!!) promised to give me the time of my life in the truckers lay-by just outside of Oxford.

Just as Inaswingdress before her, Sarah instructed me to don a blindfold after I parked my car.

I heard my car door open, before she climbed in and immediately unzipped my flies.

My heart was pounding with anticipation before I felt the exquisite sensation of her lips engulfing me.

It was at this point that I could have sworn that I felt a bit of stubble on her chin brush against my scrotum.....

No matter I mused, for I had visions that Sarah might resemble the rather sexy bearded lady from The Greatest Showman.

My curiosity peaked, I peaked out from under my blindfold to behold more of a Hugh Jackman than the lady in question!

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

Started humping my leg in the middle of greggs

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago


"Started humping my leg in the middle of greggs"

So, I met pulling finger in the tea bag isle in Lidl’s, he promptly started to empty boxes of tea bags over himself whilst singing “do you think I’m sexy” and wiggling his bottom in my direction...avoid avoid avoid.....

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By *rightonsteveMan 16 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The “sausage roll” was not what was promised. Luke warm and damp

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago


"Started humping my leg in the middle of greggs

So, I met pulling finger in the tea bag isle in Lidl’s, he promptly started to empty boxes of tea bags over himself whilst singing “do you think I’m sexy” and wiggling his bottom in my direction...avoid avoid avoid..... "

sucks like a garden sprinkler

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester

His snake's name is a pseudonym.

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By *alkingtaff1Man 16 weeks ago

on a hill top

She wore trousers when we met , oh blimey not what it said on the tin

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester


"She wore trousers when we met , oh blimey not what it said on the tin "

That doesn't happen very often.

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By *innie The MinxWoman 16 weeks ago

Liverpool


"She wore trousers when we met , oh blimey not what it said on the tin "

Very morose.

Think Victor Meldrew.

And he has no dog.

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester


"She wore trousers when we met , oh blimey not what it said on the tin

Very morose.

Think Victor Meldrew.

And he has no dog."

No resemblance to the mouse. I wanted to get an in with Mickey!

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By *ever TreeMan 16 weeks ago

In and out of Terminal 5

Minnie the minx was completely two dimensional, used a catapult to fire frozen peas up my arse then started ranting about her dog eating her homework.

The meet ended when some reprobate called Dennis knocked on her door to see if she wanted to hang around the bus stop to throw tomatoes at the 'Softies'...

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By *estarossa.Woman 16 weeks ago

Anticipation

She didnt have a penis. Or stubble!

I am calling Trades Descriptions!!

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By *J RHEAMan 16 weeks ago

S. West

You've got shit hair and you looks like his dad touches you

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By *innie The MinxWoman 16 weeks ago

Liverpool


"You've got shit hair and you looks like his dad touches you"

Arrived smoking a Sherlock Holmes style pipe, had a phobia of stairs and wore rubber gloves for the entire encounter.

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By *J RHEAMan 16 weeks ago

S. West

You forgot the crocs

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By *hitewitch77Woman 16 weeks ago

North Wales


"You forgot the crocs"

Not even a real dj

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

You were slightly better than a wank

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By *oeandmandyCouple 16 weeks ago

Surrey

You were not

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester


"You were not "

They argued all evening. Kind of ruined the ambience. And I did not need to know the details of stain removal, omg!

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By *ever TreeMan 16 weeks ago

In and out of Terminal 5


"You were not

They argued all evening. Kind of ruined the ambience. And I did not need to know the details of stain removal, omg! "

When he says she isn't the traditional 1950's woman, he's right...

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By *hitewitch77Woman 16 weeks ago

North Wales


"You were not

They argued all evening. Kind of ruined the ambience. And I did not need to know the details of stain removal, omg!

When he says she isn't the traditional 1950's woman, he's right... "

D*unk all the f***ING gin the selfish twat

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"You were not

They argued all evening. Kind of ruined the ambience. And I did not need to know the details of stain removal, omg!

When he says she isn't the traditional 1950's woman, he's right...

D*unk all the f***ING gin the selfish twat "

White Witch in fact turned out to be anything but and was clearly a more of a follower of the doctrines of the late Aleister Crowley and Anton LaVey

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

More like sunsual lover -0

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago


"More like sunsual lover -0"

She pays well

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By *hitewitch77Woman 16 weeks ago

North Wales


"More like sunsual lover -0

She pays well"

He doesn't

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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

Told me i could ride her broom stick didnt realise that was the name of her 18inch horse cock strappon

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"Told me i could ride her broom stick didnt realise that was the name of her 18inch horse cock strappon"

I pulled his finger.....he pissed on my face

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By *innie The MinxWoman 16 weeks ago

Liverpool


"Told me i could ride her broom stick didnt realise that was the name of her 18inch horse cock strappon

I pulled his finger.....he pissed on my face "

Unable to fasten buttons or locate my clit as has two hooks for hands.

It would have been nice to have been aware of this prior to our meet.

He also snores and mumbles in German in his sleep.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man 16 weeks ago

The Ether


"Told me i could ride her broom stick didnt realise that was the name of her 18inch horse cock strappon

I pulled his finger.....he pissed on my face

Unable to fasten buttons or locate my clit as has two hooks for hands.

It would have been nice to have been aware of this prior to our meet.

He also snores and mumbles in German in his sleep.

"

When Minnie suggested that she enjoyed sploshing, I thought why not - after all, it might be fun.

Unfortunately Minnie entirely neglected to mention that she lived on a farm and that silage was the medium of her choice....

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By *naswingdressWoman 16 weeks ago

Manchester

My poor clitoris! That wasn't a chinwag, that was a thorough mauling. I fear I need medical attention.

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By *ountry boy 1234Man 16 weeks ago

Wokingham - London


"My poor clitoris! That wasn't a chinwag, that was a thorough mauling. I fear I need medical attention. "

She said having a small penis was not a problem, I agreed but I wish she never had one at all

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By *sGivesWoodWoman 16 weeks ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Unfortunately I got smothered by the dress, it definitely wasn't a good swing.

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By *hitewitch77Woman 16 weeks ago

North Wales


"My poor clitoris! That wasn't a chinwag, that was a thorough mauling. I fear I need medical attention.

She said having a small penis was not a problem, I agreed but I wish she never had one at all "

The dick on his head was more satisfying

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By *ountry boy 1234Man 16 weeks ago

Wokingham - London


"My poor clitoris! That wasn't a chinwag, that was a thorough mauling. I fear I need medical attention.

She said having a small penis was not a problem, I agreed but I wish she never had one at all

The dick on his head was more satisfying "

Guilty! Have you been speaking to my friends ha ha

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