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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
Your guide to the f**kheads, wankers and creeps who want to be next Tory leader
THEY’RE off! The starting gun has been fired, Theresa May’s long, slow demise is drawing to a close, and an absolute arsehole will succeed her. But which one?
Boris Johnson
There will be voters in the next election who were not yet born when Boris Johnson began his epic run for Conservative prime minister. The blonde buffoon, who is secretly incredibly evil, fucked over the entire country to get back at David Cameron and would happily cause nuclear war to reduce sales of Cameron’s memoir. Odds: 8-1.
Jacob Rees-Mogg
The choice of Tory members who just want to watch the world burn, Rees-Mogg was a laughing stock at Eton. At Eton. Imagine how much of a bellend you would have to be to be a laughing stock at Eton. Hobbies include sticking pins in the feet of six-year-old chimney sweeps. Odds: 40-1.
Michael Gove
The sentient bacterial colony inhabiting the once-living body of Michael Gove cannot understand why it is not already prime minister, since it has the backing of ‘the Murdoch’. It blames humans. They are illogical and weak and must be culled. Odds 5-2.
Amber Rudd
Remember when Jeremy Corbyn got put on the Labour leadership ballot as a polite gesture to the party’s left? That’s what Amber Rudd is to the Tories now. That’s how far right they’ve gone. Odds 100-1.
Daenerys Targaryen
Burning thousands of innocent people to death just to prove you deserve to be in power is Tory to the core. However Daenerys may face opposition from the Tory grassroots, particularly women, because she is a woman. Odds: 9-1.
Nigel Farage
Oh, just give it to him. He’s run your fucking party for the last nine years anyway. Odds: Evens |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
"Who is your choice to replace Theresa May?
"
As I'm not a Conservative party member I have no say.
I'm pleased about the former. Not old enough anyway
Rory Stewart could make an excellent Prime Minister, but I wouldn't wish it on him in this situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If Boris ends up the Prime minister it will be doubles all round at the Kremlin. Trump and Johnson...Wow no Russian could have foreseen this scene playing out...Imagine all those years of bankrupting the country, new nuclear submarines and missile bases etc...When all it needed was the arrival of the internet and the "Useful idiots"who post on it ...... |
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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago
North West |
As a Conservative voter from Thatchers time up to 2010, I actually believe that the Conservatives may well be entering a death spiral that will briefly pause with the election of a populist leader (Johnson) but his toxicity will subsequently see off the Conservatives for decades.
The Republican Party is a model of what will likely happen. They were all but done for, pre-Trump as they were representative of mainly older privileged white people until Trump energised a mass of dissatisfied and younger (mainly) white voters who felt sidelined by natural evolution.
When the Trump fantasy is finally laid bare, the Republicans will inevitably crash very, very hard and so will )in my opinion) the Conservatives here when BoJo leadership is exposed for what it really is.
We here and our US cousins have every right to be annoyed at the way that very, very poor quality Politicians have allowed the current political landscape to evolve. But then again - we all had votes, we all had the opportunity to make a difference. From a personal point of view I just feel that the current class of Politicians here in the U.K. is really poor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t care in so much as I have never been nor ever will be a Tory party member, or even a supporter of them. What I do hope to see is the stupid cow replaced by a leaver.
That is all I want... |
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"As a Conservative voter from Thatchers time up to 2010, I actually believe that the Conservatives may well be entering a death spiral that will briefly pause with the election of a populist leader (Johnson) but his toxicity will subsequently see off the Conservatives for decades.
The Republican Party is a model of what will likely happen. They were all but done for, pre-Trump as they were representative of mainly older privileged white people until Trump energised a mass of dissatisfied and younger (mainly) white voters who felt sidelined by natural evolution.
When the Trump fantasy is finally laid bare, the Republicans will inevitably crash very, very hard and so will )in my opinion) the Conservatives here when BoJo leadership is exposed for what it really is.
We here and our US cousins have every right to be annoyed at the way that very, very poor quality Politicians have allowed the current political landscape to evolve. But then again - we all had votes, we all had the opportunity to make a difference. From a personal point of view I just feel that the current class of Politicians here in the U.K. is really poor."
Across the board the current leaders of pretty much all the main parties are shockingly inept..
As are the ones closest to them, it bodes not well.. |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
Whoever steps in will have the same problem - how to deliver the impossible expectations of the Vote Leave campaign.
At least we won't keep hearing the wails about how Brexit is being spoiled by a Remainer being in charge.
Personally, I can't wait.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't matter. The parliamentary mathematics doesn't add up for a start regarding bang brexit or remain option.
Party politics wise:
A pro - EU member is elected, the Eurosceptic wing might sperate, or rebel. Hardline Eurosceptic gets elected, you lose the pro-eu MPs.
Then the person has to be ejected based on a domestic manifesto and brexit - good luck with that, the Tories seem not to be able to adapt anymore. |
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By *ostafunMan
over a year ago
near ipswich |
Get a pro leave in that way they can go back to the eu tell them their deal is crap the eu Will tell us there is no other and kick us out. Job done then they can all get on with with things that matter. |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
"Get a pro leave in that way they can go back to the eu tell them their deal is crap the eu Will tell us there is no other and kick us out. Job done then they can all get on with with things that matter. "
A beautifully simple view of the world.
Just get on with it eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your guide to the f**kheads, wankers and creeps who want to be next Tory leader
THEY’RE off! The starting gun has been fired, Theresa May’s long, slow demise is drawing to a close, and an absolute arsehole will succeed her. But which one?
Boris Johnson
There will be voters in the next election who were not yet born when Boris Johnson began his epic run for Conservative prime minister. The blonde buffoon, who is secretly incredibly evil, fucked over the entire country to get back at David Cameron and would happily cause nuclear war to reduce sales of Cameron’s memoir. Odds: 8-1.
Jacob Rees-Mogg
The choice of Tory members who just want to watch the world burn, Rees-Mogg was a laughing stock at Eton. At Eton. Imagine how much of a bellend you would have to be to be a laughing stock at Eton. Hobbies include sticking pins in the feet of six-year-old chimney sweeps. Odds: 40-1.
Michael Gove
The sentient bacterial colony inhabiting the once-living body of Michael Gove cannot understand why it is not already prime minister, since it has the backing of ‘the Murdoch’. It blames humans. They are illogical and weak and must be culled. Odds 5-2.
Amber Rudd
Remember when Jeremy Corbyn got put on the Labour leadership ballot as a polite gesture to the party’s left? That’s what Amber Rudd is to the Tories now. That’s how far right they’ve gone. Odds 100-1.
Daenerys Targaryen
Burning thousands of innocent people to death just to prove you deserve to be in power is Tory to the core. However Daenerys may face opposition from the Tory grassroots, particularly women, because she is a woman. Odds: 9-1.
Nigel Farage
Oh, just give it to him. He’s run your fucking party for the last nine years anyway. Odds: Evens"
This made me lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It may be worth pointing out at this stage that the Tory MPs who are desperate to get rid of May are the very same MPs who elected her "
Watching the Tories and their leadership machinations is like watching cannibalism play out in IRL. Animals the lot of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone down to earth...
Someone not conditioned for political life in Westminster...
Someone honest would make a nice change...
"
I fully agree, but has to be a tory to take over.
On a serious note they're all shite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who is your choice to replace Theresa May?
As I'm not a Conservative party member I have no say.
I'm pleased about the former. Not old enough anyway
Rory Stewart could make an excellent Prime Minister, but I wouldn't wish it on him in this situation." Rory Stewart would make a brilliant leader, centre right and appeals to some in the left. One to watch |
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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago
upton wirral |
"If Boris ends up the Prime minister it will be doubles all round at the Kremlin. Trump and Johnson...Wow no Russian could have foreseen this scene playing out...Imagine all those years of bankrupting the country, new nuclear submarines and missile bases etc...When all it needed was the arrival of the internet and the "Useful idiots"who post on it ...... " Talking about yourself I guess |
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