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Guy walks into the doctors

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By *uietbloke67 OP Man over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Guy walks into the doctors with strawberrys growing out his head.

Doctor says.....

Dont worry Ive cream for that .....

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By *otmale5Man over a year ago

glasgow

Guy walks into the doctors. And doc says what can I do for you today. Man pulls his jeans n pants down. Doc says , what’s wrong with it . Man says ,, nothing ,,, it’s a cracker , isint it .

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By *rgoodnbadMan over a year ago

greenock

Guy,...every time I raise my left arm above my head it hurts.

Doc, ..well don't do it then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guy says to the doc, if I touch my head it hurts

If I touch my arm it hurts

If I touch my leg it hurts

If I touch my foot it hurts even touching my pinky toe hurts

Doc replies , I know what's wrong , you've broke your finger.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Man walks into a doctors. "doctor I feel like a pair of curtains". Doc says,"pull yourself together man"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

guy walks in to the Doctors

ouch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants.

“Next to mine” was not the answer I was expecting...

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By *orders CoupleCouple over a year ago

Kelso

The doctor says the good news is it's not crabs. The bad news is it's fruit fly and your banana's dead!

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By *awaiianguyMan over a year ago

East Ayrshire

Doctor, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home’ “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ‘Is it common?’ “It’s not unusual.”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guy goes into the doctors and says "Doc, ever since i lost my job 6 months ago my willy has turned yellow"

Doc says "unemployed for 6 months? Thats tough...what do you do all day?"

Guy - "nothing much, just sit about watching porn and eating quavers"

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By *ornyfuckers66Couple over a year ago

fife

Challenge Give us dr dr that TOMMY Cooper didn’t write

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By *tormin1875Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

Guy walks into the doctors and says

Doctor Doctor I feel like a coconut.

Doctor says

Yes your bounty.

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By *isycMan over a year ago

inverure

Walked into the doctors told him I was suffering from very bad wind

He proscribed a kite

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By *othardandfreeMan over a year ago

.here and there

Doctor doctor every time i have a cup of tea i get a sharp pain in my eye and it waters for ages.

Doctor : Have you tried taking the spoon out the cup first ?

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By *ornyfuckers66Couple over a year ago

fife

"Walked into the doctors told him I was suffering from very bad wind

He proscribed a kite"

Prescribed

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By *ikchattyfellahMan over a year ago

Greenock

Guy walks into the doctors and says....

Social, snog or shag?!?

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By *tormin1875Man over a year ago

Edinburgh

A dwarf goes to the doctors, he tells the doctor he thinks he has an STD as his dick has turned bright red.

The doctor tells him to drop his trousers, takes one look and says

Yeah your right it's no white.

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By *owboy BebopMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants.

“Next to mine” was not the answer I was expecting..."

Brilliant....nicking this for beer garden this afternoon!

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By *owboy BebopMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"Guy goes into the doctors and says "Doc, ever since i lost my job 6 months ago my willy has turned yellow"

Doc says "unemployed for 6 months? Thats tough...what do you do all day?"

Guy - "nothing much, just sit about watching porn and eating quavers"

Brilliant, nicking this as well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Credit Tommy Cooper...

Man walks into a psychiatrist with cling film wrapped round his waist, doctor I think I’m going mad..

Doctor; well I can clearly see your nuts..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guy walks into the doctors with a steering wheel down his trousers, can you help me doctor this is driving me nuts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

man calls the doctors, Doctor My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Man:No, you idiot! This is her husband!

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By *arkerTheDriverMan over a year ago

Dundee

[Removed by poster at 01/05/21 15:27:20]

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By *arkerTheDriverMan over a year ago

Dundee

A guy walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.

“What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

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By *oyeur 777Man over a year ago

glasgow

A guy walks in to the doctors and immediately asks the female doctor....

can I smell your fanny?

No, you most certainly can not, she replies.

Well, it must be your feet then.

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By *nigmatic DuoCouple over a year ago

Portadown

Guy goes into the the doctors and says, "Doctor Doctor, in the morning I feel like a teepee and at night I feel like a marquee, what's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "You're two tents."

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS over a year ago

Cunty Durham

My doctor asked me to stop masturbating.

I asked "why, is it bad for Me?"

He said, "no its upsetting the other patients in the waiting room"

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