Have been thinking about doing our first soft swap but worried encase I can't cope watching her with another man and me with another woman.
The idea of it sounds fun, has anyone got any good pointers? |
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I'm sure I would be fine and so would the wife because once we are in the mood then nothing tends to stop us....BUT if I did are couples usually ok with it stopping or do they tend to take the huff |
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"We’re new to it too. It sounds good in theory but I guess we won’t know until we try - Pixie "
Yeah that's what I'm thinking.....I'll try anything once, so I guess if we try it n don't like it then at least we know.
I always said at the start it's something I 100% wouldn't do but the more I think about it I would definitely give it a try |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
"I'm sure I would be fine and so would the wife because once we are in the mood then nothing tends to stop us....BUT if I did are couples usually ok with it stopping or do they tend to take the huff "
Take the huff is a strange phrase to use. Swinging is supposed to be mutually agreed fun by all parties concerned. I’m not implying for a second that you can’t stop or say no that’s entirely your perogative but you need to think long and hard before you cross that line.
Your post indicates you have doubts and I would say that was enough for you not to do it. |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.  "
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma. |
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In our opinion best thing you can do if you are going to try it is to be upfront from start let any potential meet know what your limits may be and any experienced couple would not take the 'huff' if things came to an abrupt end due to being uncomfortable, in the end we are all here to have fun and if it stops being fun then thats when you stop.
You will not know what your limits are untill you try it.
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"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma. "
The dilemaisfor soft swap
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok, so you are pretty sure you two will be fine. Well it's not just you two in the room. You need to make it absolutely 100% crystal clear with the couple you play with that you might stop play and this is your first time, so they can make a decision weather they want to be in that situation.
Same thing happened to me, apart from they didn't say it was their first time.... I thought they was cool and knew what they was doing, then out of nowhere the Mrs flipped out, this was in a club. It really upset me and I felt like the experiment that had gone wrong, it was absolutely awful. So please think of others as well as yourselves if you aren't absolutely sure this will be ok as newbies x
Mrs C |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"Ok, so you are pretty sure you two will be fine. Well it's not just you two in the room. You need to make it absolutely 100% crystal clear with the couple you play with that you might stop play and this is your first time, so they can make a decision weather they want to be in that situation.
Same thing happened to me, apart from they didn't say it was their first time.... I thought they was cool and knew what they was doing, then out of nowhere the Mrs flipped out, this was in a club. It really upset me and I felt like the experiment that had gone wrong, it was absolutely awful. So please think of others as well as yourselves if you aren't absolutely sure this will be ok as newbies x
Mrs C"
Absolutely this, well said Claire.
Firstly, I would be considering others prior to engaging in any sort of fun. As Vlaire has said, being part of an experiment that may potentially go wrong isn't attractive nor for you both either.i also think explaining you're situation too others may sound a good idea but it may be a risk they don't want to take.
Personally, I think in these situations it needs to be 100% or it just doesn't work.i would suggest communication and set out boundaries which you both agree to.
Good luck   |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
It's clear from your verifications you've been to cjs and played there, even doing girl on girl (from the veri, it sounds like your experience was a soft swap)
What I would say is that your issue appears to be based around jealously, if I'm understanding you both correctly it wasn't a problem with FF fun, but now that it's another man it's a different story.
Working through jealousy as an open/swinging couple is something advice doesn't really work for, communication is key but there's no secret formula for everyone magically to be ok with everything. If there's doubt, if people are uncomfortable I would highly recommend not moving forward until you can unpack your own insecurities about why it was ok for your partner to meet someone of the same sex, but not of the opposite sex. If meets with the opposite sex are the end goal I'd say you guys have a little way to go before you're ready to take it on together |
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"Have been thinking about doing our first soft swap but worried encase I can't cope watching her with another man and me with another woman.
The idea of it sounds fun, has anyone got any good pointers?"
Don't do it of you get jealous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma. "
But there dilemma is not about full swap , it's about trying soft swap , why I'm confused. Seems they've already done that. Maybe I'm reading the veri wrongly.  |
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"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma.
But there dilemma is not about full swap , it's about trying soft swap , why I'm confused. Seems they've already done that. Maybe I'm reading the veri wrongly. "
Think they are talking about moving on to everything other than penetration sex with the other couple. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma.
But there dilemma is not about full swap , it's about trying soft swap , why I'm confused. Seems they've already done that. Maybe I'm reading the veri wrongly.
Think they are talking about moving on to everything other than penetration sex with the other couple. "
Nope, from the post it looks like they are trying to meet another MF couple and both parties play. The verification only outlines FF play with Mr watching. From what I can tell from the post they are looking to try penetrative sex with another couple but in the same room |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
Also can I just add in that I find same room swaps harder than if it's different rooms, different rooms allows you to not be as nervous about your partner and stops you looking out for them as much. We told eachother what happened and relived it together. We did separate rooms before same room and it worked well for us. Again not for everyone but maybe an alternative |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never experienced any kind of soft swapping.. I'm nervous as I'm not sure what to expect.. Rocksteady is more confident with things going well. I feel that life is too short live it to the full try anything once if we like it then great if not we move on to something new |
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Just to put in my two penny worth.
I was a single guy on here for 10 years. Then I met milf thought I had experience everything till we did a full swap. I Actually froze on the spot for about 10 seconds seeing her with another guy. His Mrs realised and grab me and started kissing me soon took me back to the task in hand !! 
It’s the weirdest sensation of jealousy and ecstasy the same time!! |
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"Just to put in my two penny worth.
I was a single guy on here for 10 years. Then I met milf thought I had experience everything till we did a full swap. I Actually froze on the spot for about 10 seconds seeing her with another guy. His Mrs realised and grab me and started kissing me soon took me back to the task in hand !!
It’s the weirdest sensation of jealousy and ecstasy the same time!! "
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m not sure how I’d feel until it happens. I think it might be a lot like your description.
Pixie xx |
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"I'm confused , looking at your veris tells me your way past the point of not knowing how you would react afterwards.
If you read their verifications there is nothing to suggest a full swap. So that’s the dilemma.
But there dilemma is not about full swap , it's about trying soft swap , why I'm confused. Seems they've already done that. Maybe I'm reading the veri wrongly.
Think they are talking about moving on to everything other than penetration sex with the other couple.
Nope, from the post it looks like they are trying to meet another MF couple and both parties play. The verification only outlines FF play with Mr watching. From what I can tell from the post they are looking to try penetrative sex with another couple but in the same room "
They are taking about soft swap, so they're shouldn't be any penetration? |
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As above I was also a single male swinger. Had fun with numerous woman till I found my partner. Also off here. We both spoke about having couple fun. She was all over it but at first I was really nervous. Struggled to maintain an erection first meet. But enjoyed giving oral and watching my girl with another man. But now had a few meets and really enjoy it and the nerves have well and truly gone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kinda late to the thread ..
My reckoning is once you add in others to your sexlife its not just about the 2 of you whether that be a plus 1,2,3 etc , there's healthy jealousy but there's unhealthy jealousy also .. maybe work out which one you both fall into before inviting someone else into that mix .. adding another into the mix blind sighted is never a good thing .. be honest an upfront with potential meets and let the chips fall where they may , most folk on fab are Liberal and understanding if their in on the loop from the beginning. |
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